r/ADHD • u/Malek19951995 • 21h ago
Seeking Empathy If I have children, will they inherit ADHD from me?
Not only is having ADHD a big problem in my life, but even when I think about having children, the thought that they might suffer the same intense struggles I go through really bothers and worries me. Even if the chances aren’t 100%, even a 50% chance feels like a gamble. Of course, this only adds to my sadness — the idea that I might not have children. I read some information suggesting that if a mother has good nutrition shortly before and during pregnancy, and if she takes Omega-3 and certain specific vitamins, it can have a positive effect on improving the quality of the baby.
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u/ClaudeB4llz 21h ago
Mine did. It’s like raising myself and it’s getting weird, man
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u/bbcwtfw 20h ago
Bad news: both my kids have ADHD. Good news: now I know wtf is wrong with me. Didn't figure it out until they got diagnosed.
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u/_PINK-FREUD_ 19h ago
lol I’m a testing psych and can’t tell you enough how common that is.
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u/Agitated-Inside3559 9h ago
Me. Too testing psych with ADHD. My mom and maternal grandpa have ADHD too
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u/dubufeetfak 7h ago
Since kids learn by watching, what would be a good way to tell if its adhd or learned behaviour?
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u/atomicon 8h ago
Same. Both my kids were diagnosed, and the more I learned about various symptoms, the more I thought "that sounds familiar", and then one of their PNPs said ADHD runs in families, and I was like -- oh shit, now I gotta get tested.
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u/suburbanoperamom 19h ago
My mother has it pretty bad and my dad does too or is audhd or ASD. My childhood was fairly traumatizing tbh because they did not deal with their mental health issues (nor do they really do now either)
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u/Saiiyk ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 20h ago
Same. Their dad has it too but both of us werent diagnosed until after they were born. One (possibly 2) of my three kids have it and it's like looking at myself as a kid. I will say I'm glad we know now as they are young and can help them instead of just calling them lazy and unorganized. Noticing all the little things I did as a kid and learning to how help guide them has been really healing for me if I'm being honest.
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u/UpTheRiffLad 19h ago
I would love that opportunity. To succeed where others failed us
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u/Emotional_Moosey 10h ago
Same and growing up I was really made to feel like a freak, coming to find out my mom and my brother have very obvious adhd too.
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u/SteamyGiraffeSex 21h ago
After learning about my symptoms it is extremely obvious that my mother also has adhd.
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u/Persis- 21h ago
Same with my dad. And actually, recalling stories he told about his grandfather make lot more sense through the lens of adhd.
Pretty sure all three of my siblings have/had it. But none of them ever got diagnosed, just me.
One of my kids is diagnosed, but pretty sure the other two have it, too.
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u/francscoleon 18h ago
My dad struggled with addiction, an inability to hold down long-term jobs, and so on. When I learned about ADHD, I understood a lot. I learned to forgive him.
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u/amebocytes 20h ago
Same here. My favorite is when you point out a trait and they’re like “but everyone does that!”. No my sweet, naive parental unit, not everyone does that.
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u/Blue-Phoenix23 10h ago
Lol I was diagnosed after my (now teen) child and that is exactly how it went and how it goes. They think it's hilarious.
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u/BurntRussian ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 20h ago
Yep, same for my mom. Her and I are very similar in a lot of ways, and a lot of those are the ADHD overlap.
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u/Trikger ADHD-C (Combined type) 18h ago
Same. I used to put on and go to bed in the clothes that I'd wear the next day as a kid because I hated waking up and getting ready, and my mom was shocked because she used to do the exact same thing when she was a child. She saw it as a wonder of motherhood, watching her child develop the same odd traits she had without ever having mentioned it.
It sucks because so many of my early symptoms were overlooked since she had them too and thought they were normal.
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u/CloudSkyyy 19h ago
Same. I didn’t realize before that my mom likes to cut off people when they’re talking lol. It bugs me a lot 😭
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u/AdministrativeStep98 17h ago
I always knew my dad had adhd but I also found out that my mom has it too. I was basically doomed from the start 😅
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u/mikmik555 16h ago
Yes. My mother doesn’t even drive anymore because there is too much going on. My grandma got Alzheimer’s during Covid and since I read ADHD makes the odds of having Alzheimer’s higher, it’s kinda haunting me.
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u/likejackandsally ADHD-C (Combined type) 10h ago
Same. Doesn’t help that 3/4 kids have been diagnosed and we don’t have the same dad so…only one person we could have gotten it from. 😂
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u/chaotic214 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 16h ago
Yeah same here but she never got diagnosed, and passed suddenly at 58
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u/TheOATaccount 8h ago
Yeah mine too. It’s kinda tragic, especially cause she’s the actually good parent.
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u/nderhjs 21h ago edited 5h ago
Yes but you have the added bonus of being aware of it from the moment they are born, and the earlier you instill good habits geared towards us, their quality of life WILL most likely be better than ours.
EDIT: Yall I thought he meant could their kids get it, not will they. Yes, they could.
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u/verovladamir ADHD-C 21h ago
THIS
Both of my kids inherited my ADHD. I wasn’t diagnosed until after they were born, when I was 26. But I have worked so hard to make sure that things are different for them. I got them both diagnosed the moment we started noticing symptoms. I took them to therapy. I got them on medication. I got them accommodations at school. And they are both thriving. Yes, they have struggles that other kids might not. And I would never wish ADHD on someone or say I’m glad my kids have it. But I will say this: I think I am the very best person to raise kids with ADHD precisely because I have it myself. Because I understand what they are feeling. Because I can articulate what it feels like. I can help them advocate in ways a non-ADHD person just can’t.
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u/Odd_Judgment_2303 20h ago
Giving children a stable, loving childhood environment makes a big difference.
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u/verovladamir ADHD-C 18h ago
It’s also a different time. My mom was CERTAIN I had ADHD as a kid, but I was a girl and it was the 90s so no one believed her. We’ve come a long way in people understanding the disorder too.
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u/EmeraldEmesis 16h ago
Yep, being a girl with ADHD in the 90s was rough. I was diagnosed, but Mom was in denial, and my teachers were of the opinion that ADHD only applied to hyperactive boys, so I was just labeled as "very smart" but lazy, defiant, and unwilling to apply myself. My daughter is a clone of me on every way, which is exactly why we opted for meds at age 6. I'm not about to let her go through that. So far, the meds have been nothing but a positive for her, which gives me hope she won't experience what I did. Appetite has been a bit of a challenge, but we're making progress on that front.
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u/Plenty_Run5588 15h ago
I’m glad you got diagnosed and are self aware. I got it from my mom and she has no clue she has it. ❤️
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u/SwiftSpear 20h ago
To be fair, the probability isn't 100%
It's not always easy for a person with ADHD to tolerate how it presents in someone else. My understanding of the experience of hyperfixation doesn't make it innately easier to sit through the exhastive behavioral analysis of every minecraft mob several times per day.
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u/CaptinCookies 18h ago
I was going to say, the only issue here was the “Yes”. It’s like saying, “I have curly hair, will my kid have curly hair?”
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u/Spooky_Electric 17h ago
I like the color green. Should I come to terms with how I shouldn't reproduce??
I'm agreeing with you but need to go on a rant.
The truth is, genetics is fucking wild and will do whatever it wants. Generaly, it doesn't boil down to one gene, but a thousand in combo with enviromental factors that determines how a person will end up being.
I think a lot of people, especially parents, dont want to consider or understand, that kids, grow up and are their own individual. You can try your damnest and do everything right, and they may still end up being a fuck up. You can do everything wrong, beat them black and blue, and they can even be the physical embodiment of Joffrey from GoT, and yet, they may grow up to be the biggest humanitarian who discovers the cure for cancer and makes the IP and patents public and free for everyone.
You are ultimately going to die and your offspring are going to be who they are without you. It's drives me fucking insane when people blame the parents of actual criminals for not punishing them enough. Someone can enact all the punishment they want, and that kid will still grow up to be an asshole of they choose. Too many genetic and external factors to know for sure.
"But when I was young once, I got teased and punched and learned empathy and how to no longer be a nerd" Good for fucking you. Not how it works. Someone else may have perceived that differently and now they have crippling anxiety.
Overall, humanity is like 80% "good". We are an invasive species, that for most part, with most "horrible world ending events", we'll pull through when it comes down to it. The movies and video games is not how people would react in real life.
Don't waste your money on getting your genes tested. Throw that fucking dice and wing it. Everyone is winging it.
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u/hellomondays 21h ago edited 20h ago
Yes! Such a big part of raising kids with ADHD is understanding them. Without understanding, compassion is difficult, parents become frustrated at themselves, their kids and that leads to ineffective parenting. Without compassion, it's hard to see and encourage the good even when kids are struggling. When kids feels like theyre defective, they won't be motivated as much to find ways to accommodate their ADHD brains and make life easier on themselves. It all starts with understanding
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u/Xin4748 20h ago
My parents never really understood me and so I just gave up. Got called lazy and dumb and punished on a daily basis. I hated going home after school lol. Barely passed high school and failed all my classes… but I went to college somehow and got alls straight A’s. Funny how I got straight A’s when I ignored everything they say, stayed away, and did my own thing… 😑 received my adhd dx a yr ago in my adulthood and am medicated now. They didn’t believe in psych medications.
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u/nightshift1223 17h ago
Wow I was literally the exact same little girl, I hated growing up. But I killed it in university.
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u/Rayne37 19h ago
Absolutely this. I look at my dad, who grew up before ADHD was treated or really talked about, vs me and my brother, and it is night and day between us. Its clear my brother and I have coping mechanisms and my dad has none of them. We know how to focus, how to manage tasks etc. We know when we need to go on meds and stick with them. My dad knows none of that. You turn around on a family trip and he's just wandered off. So... yea its kinda wild seeing what awareness and being raised with a diagnosis vs not, how different it is.
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u/Plenty_Run5588 16h ago
Word up. I didn’t know I had it until I was in my 30s. And my mom doesn’t even know she has it because I probably got it from her and she has no self awareness. If I told her, she’d deny it, unfortunately. She doesn’t wanna take meds for anything so instead she just argues with everyone constantly about stupid shit sometimes.
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u/Dapper-Scene-9794 17h ago
Second this. My friend had bipolar, ADHD, and I think dyslexia and struggled a lot with school and friendships because of it, but her mom loved her and got her all of the early interventions possible and knew how to be firm but loving through it all. She’s now SO happy in life, has a baby on the way, and is in a super healthy strong relationship with a wonderful guy. If you are planning to help in every way you can from early on, they’ll benefit a lot from a parent that understands them and how to help them specifically.
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u/aron2295 18h ago
Yep.
I am planning on having kids with my GF (Soon to be fiancée / wife) within the next 12 months.
I am going to a geneticist soon hopefully (Got a referral this week from my GP) because in addition to ADHD, anxiety / depression, poor eye sight and sleep apnea, I am adopted. It was a closed adoption, and I have ZERO medical info on my bio family.
That’s partly why some of my problems are as bad as they are.
No action was taken until it was causing me MAJOR issues in life.
I want to see if my DNA can pass on my anything else.
If nothing comes up that has a high chance / virtually 100% of getting passed on that would cause my future child to really have a difficult quality of life (Like something that would essentially require mom and I to be their 24/7 caregiver), I would want to have a bio child of my own.
Based on my research, I believe all of my conditions are heavily influenced by what I am guessing was my bio mother’s poor health / environment.
But if anything gets passed on that is 100% genetic, I plan to be advocating them hard as soon as the pregnancy is confirmed to their providers.
Kinda unrelated but low key kinda serious, my GF and I are both ADHD and her late brother was tall, athletic and she believes was ADHD as well, but was never diagnosed.
I’m tall and athletic, but sports were one of the hobbies I got bored of when I didn’t make varsity as a freshman in high school.
I hope we can crate a team of ADHD D1 players.
You can’t guard someone who dosen’t know what their next move is themselves!
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u/yawara25 21h ago
There is a genetic factor in ADHD. It's not a guarantee one way or the other, but there is inheritance just like any other genetic trait.
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u/steampunkedunicorn ADHD with ADHD child/ren 21h ago
I have ADHD, my kids’ dad doesn’t have it. Both kids inherited my ADHD.
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u/Empty-Fuel3633 ADHD-C (Combined type) 19h ago
It’s pretty dominant
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u/Variable851 21h ago
There is a significant familial link observed in research. From my own experience, my father showed strong signs of it. I am diagnosed and my son is diagnosed.
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u/McAeschylus 20h ago edited 20h ago
To answer your questions, the data on this (at least that I have seen) conflict a bit. Some studies have the odds of a child with one ADHD parent having ADHD being as low as 20% other studies have it as high as 50%.
Without a parent with ADHD, the odds fall into the 5% to 10% range depending on the study. With two ADHD parents the seem to rise to around 70% in some studies.
On a slightly different note:
...it can have a positive effect on improving the quality of the baby.
I'm sure you didn't mean this phrasing to hurt feelings, but implying that ADHD people were low-quality babies will have that effect. Especially in a group like this.
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u/La_LunaEstrella 20h ago
Could you please link the studies? I'm very interested in reading them. I've seen some statistics as high as 90% and ime that has been the case in my large family. But I'd love to see more evidence and statistics.
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u/McAeschylus 19h ago
WITH THE CAVEAT THAT MY QUALIFICATIONS IN THIS AREA ARE A 15-YEAR-OLD DEGREE IN A VERY DIFFERENT SCIENTIFIC FIELD. TAKE WHATEVER I CONFIDENTLY TELL YOU BELOW WITH ALL THE SALT YOU CAN STOMACH.
There's not a lot of good studies on the risk of parents giving their kids ADHD*****.
This meta-study looked at four studies and found an average risk of 2%-20% where neither parent had ADHD and 9% to 57% where at least one parent had ADHD (the studies are not directly comparable as they had wildly differing cohort sizes and one of them only looked at ADHD moms, another at only ADHD dads).
There is also this meta-analysis (which includes some overlapping data with the previous meta-study). This study put the odds of an ADHD parent having an ADHD child at a little higher than one-in-three.
*****A thing to be careful of is that many studies looking at the genetic component of ADHD are not necessarily looking at the odds of inheriting ADHD. They are looking at the odds of developing ADHD once you have already inherited the ADHD gene or genes.
So, for example, twin studies are a popular way to study the influence of genetics on a disorder. Like this meta-study of twin studies which puts the genetic component of ADHD at around 74% (the studies included in the meta-study gave odds ranging from around 60% to 88%).
However, this means that in a group that we know carries the genes for ADHD (because their identical twin has it), the odds of developing it is about 74%. (This is kind of oversimplifies what is going on, but it's close enough for our purposes).
So, twin studies don't usually indicate the odds of a parent giving a child the full complement of genes to develop ADHD. Twin studies inform our view of genetic risks but by themselves aren't enough to quantify it. But a lot of people will refer to twin studies when talking about genetic risks. This is because it is in the same area. Unfortunately its a slightly different metric.
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u/La_LunaEstrella 18h ago
Thank you, that's really interesting. I was unaware of how the twin studies were conducted. I really appreciate you explaining the process in an accessible way. I'll have a read of the links you provided.
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u/AdvantagePatient4454 21h ago
Genetically- I have 3 kids old enough to have clear traits. 1 is dyslexic possibly some ADHD 1 is most certainly ADHD 1 is a little passionate a-hole 😂
They're all sweet amazing lovely kids.
My clearly ADHD one is the happiest. He's just happy go lucky and full of life (much like I was). He certainly keeps us on our toes....
However, due to my lack of hands on help at school, I chose to homeschool. So he has structure, discipline and patience in ways he needs.
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u/Infra-Oh 21h ago
You sound like an amazing parent. Your kids are incredibly lucky.
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u/AdvantagePatient4454 21h ago
We certainly have good days and bad days. But I apologize for my misbehavior which pretty much always stems from my own lack of good habits. Mess, last minuteness, etc.
I have doubts... Often. But... Other more seasoned parents reassure me my kids are normal and still growing. They're incredibly sweet caring down to earth kids, even number 3 (he just wants everything a certain way and gets bossy when he feels things aren't that way), so the fruit of my work is a better guide. They CAN be mean, siblings rivalry, but nobody is entitled, or a bully... So I'm happy with that!
I feel ADHD always kept me kind and humble. ❤️ Sometimes I wish things were easier, but I don't think I'd take it away! Id probably get snobby.
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u/Pictures-of-me 21h ago
There's a strong genetic link yes. But it's not a guarantee & knowledge is power. You are doing things to help yourself and if you have a baby with extra needs, you will know from the outset to help & support them.
On the other hand you can choose not to have babies, you can get pets and travel the world, which is very difficult to do with babies because of logistics and costs. You can focus on hobbies and things that interest you. You can rule your own little kingdom, decide where you go, when you go, what you eat, what you wear. Lots of people live happy & fulfilled lives without children. Many people have children without ever considering the possibility of not having them.
The world is your oyster basically 🫶
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u/Wrong_Experience_420 ADHD-C (Combined type) 21h ago
If you get with another ADHD partner: most likely the child will inherit it.
If you get with a non-ADHD partner: kinda 50-50.
If the child somehow doesn't inherit it (let's say "you hit jackpot"), then there's a small chance when the child becomes adult, if it will get with a non-ADHD partner, to still get a chil with ADHD (less likely, more likely if the partner has ADHD).
But you don't have to see ADHD in such a negative way, it's """simply""" a different type of brain with some pros on one side and cons on the other. But what a child with ADHD deserves the most, is a parent with ADHD who knows how it works and can accompany them in their growth knowing what to do and what they need, learning from the suffering endured by parents who did not know any better.
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u/Homeotherm 21h ago
I remember my dad decided to remodel the master bathroom when I was about 6 years old. He tore everything out, down to the studs, bought all the tile and material he needed, and there it sat, unfinished, until he decided to sell the house 6 years later. I personally think it's safe to say it's hereditary.
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u/Icy_Session3326 16h ago
This made me chuckle because it reminded me of my own dad . I’m Audhd myself and I’m almost certain he is too.
I remember moving into a new place when I was 11 .. and he’s a painter and decorator so decided to do all the redecorating himself. He would start on one bedroom , leave it half done and then move onto another . It took about a year for all 3 of the bedrooms to be finished .
Then he decided he was going to rip out the kitchen and start again but put up a stud wall so that when you walked in the ‘front door ‘ (it was a flat above a Chinese restaurant and you opened the door and walked into the kitchen , such a odd layout 🤣) you’d be walking into a hallway instead .
I moved out at 17 and it still wasn’t finished
He moved out some 10 years later and it was still exactly how it was when I left.
He always had these great creative ideas of what he was going to do to the flat to improve it and make it look nicer and seldom were they even started much less finished.
But when he was doing it as his actual job , he shit hot at what he did and did it with no problems at all .
He could turn his hand to alot of things .. aptly names ‘Jack of all trades’ by his pals
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u/Pro_Human_ 21h ago
The likelihood of inheriting adhd from a parent is 50-60%. Which also means one of your parents could very likely have it as well
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u/chickenfightyourmom ADHD with ADHD child/ren 19h ago
Ngl, my kids struggle sometimes. Being old and knowing what I know now, I would have not had children. I love them, and I like being a parent, but my kids are the way they are because of me. They didn't ask for this.
I did all the right things to prepare for pregnancy, took the right supplements/vitamins, ate the right food, and I am glad I did those things - maternal health improves fetal health. People should always take positive steps to improve health when considering pregnancy. But there's no magic bullet or talisman to ward off the ADHD. Your kid will inherit the genetic material that they inherit. The end. You're either willing to roll those dice, or you aren't.
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u/Character-Flatworm-1 18h ago
My dad has it. I have it. My brother doesn't have it. My youngest has it. My oldest doesn't have it. It's a mixed bag. Genetics, amirite?
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u/Uruguaianense 20h ago edited 20h ago
If one parent has ADHD, the child has about a 30% to 50% chance of also having it.
If both parents have ADHD, the risk can be even higher — often over 50%.
And TDAH is 70% to 80% influenced by genetics. Other factors are prenatal exposures (smoking, alcohol, diet), premature birth or low birth weight and childhood environment (high stress, parenting styles),
In the general population, the chance is 5% or 7% to have adhd.
I didn't grow up with my dad, but after spending some time with him, I'm almost sure he has adhd.
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u/TrashWild 20h ago
The difference in being a parent with ADHD to a child with ADHD is that you're already aware, already empathetic, going to be so intuitive and able to jump on any early intervention needed or therapies or school modifications so that your future child will be 100% set up for success. A lot of us didn't have that support growing up but we are already equipped to be better than our own parents. Having children is a deeply personal decision but definitely don't feel like passing on ADHD is a reason not to if it's something you want for your life otherwise.
Source - am a late diagnosed ADHD mom with an 18mo old level 1 autistic toddler who will probably end up with an ADHD diagnosis someday. No regrets here!
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u/GullibleChemistry113 21h ago
ADHD is genetic. It's caused by a handful of genes that we've managed to label. Unlike ASD, that can be caused by so many brain miswirings, ADHD is a lot more simple.
It's not guaranteed, but the changes are extremely high. My mom has ADHD, and 2 out of her 3 kids has it. And the third has her own seperate genetic mental issues.
So, probably yeah. ADHD is far from the worse thing to have though, and as long as you get them dignoised and treated, they'll probably live a very happy life.
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u/ginggo 20h ago
Actually, there is a large overlap between genes that cause autism and adhd. I would even dare say that they are not two completely different things.
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u/DiligentDebt3 21h ago
Higher chance, yes. But that shouldn’t deter you from considering having children if that’s what you want from life.
Hopefully we can all work to improve mental health care and social support systems so that disorders don’t need to be something gravely disabling.
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u/BirdTheMagpie ADHD with ADHD partner 20h ago
OP is downvoting anyone who suggests that it's possible to have a good life when you have ADHD. That and "improving the quality of the baby" makes me think they have a lot of internalized ableism they need to work through before having kids.
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u/DiligentDebt3 19h ago
Damn lol. Can we recognize this as a form of eugenics that we really ought to reflect on? 😳
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u/kruddel 9h ago
I'm not dumping on anyone, but as a general point I do find it darkly comic when people with awful attitudes talk about children and genetics, & it's like - don't sweat it dude even if you could somehow have a "100% genetically perfect" kid you've still got a decent chance of raising them to have a shit load of mental health issue with that outlook!
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u/Wwwwwwhhhhhhhj 19h ago
At least in America, does it look like that’s what is going to happen anytime soon?
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u/colostitute ADHD, with ADHD family 20h ago
I have 2 kids and both have ADHD. I have been able to help them understand their brain function so much that they are doing much better than I was at their age.
We have done medication with the oldest but she didn’t like it. Fortunately, the coping skills we have taught her seem to be setting in finally. She also has her mother’s brand of ADHD which is more hyper.
My 2nd child has my brand of ADHD where she is more inattentive. She learns well when it makes sense to her. New concepts can be a struggle but when she gets the new concept, she knows it better than her peers. She tests very well but doesn’t come across as smart as she can perform on testing.
As a house full of ADHD folks, we deal with a lot of clutter but have worked hard to minimize it. We are able to teach our children how to focus on their strengths and compensate for their weaknesses. When the time comes, I am sure my youngest will need medication to get started on larger projects.
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u/Intrepid_Cover_5441 19h ago
I have ADHD and my husband does not. Our first does not have ADHD. Our second does as well as the sensory processing issues I feel I had undiagnosed throughout my childhood. We chose not to have a third. I do not regret having my son. He has brought so much laughter and entertainment to our lives. But I would be lying if I said it’s been easy. I knew all the symptoms to look for and we started early intervention, but it has been a very hard road and he’s only 6.
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u/dmdewd 18h ago
I have adhd, my wife has anxiety. Together we had a type 3 adhd kid with anxiety who is super out of place in this world and very, very weird/angry about it. We also had a little girl who seems.... Mostly normal so far.
Sooooo, YMMV? I love them both, but my son is the most physically and mentally exhausting person I have ever met.
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u/Rehpot78 18h ago
I have ADHD. I have twin sons, one son has ADHD, the other son doesn't. So maybe. It is hereditary.
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u/fnnogg 13h ago
ADHD is definitely highly heritable; the research backs that up. I very obviously got it from my dad, though he was never officially diagnosed. He very recently acknowledged that he does likely have it and has basically self-medicated with caffeine his entire life.
I am the middle of 5 children. I have two sisters and two brothers, and we were all born between 1982 and 1991. My youngest brother was diagnosed as a child; he displayed the typical "boy" ADHD symptoms that were essentially the only diagnostic criteria of ADHD in the 1990's.
I, being an "intellectually gifted girl child" who burned out in college, wasn't diagnosed until 2019 at the age of 32. Since then, both of my sisters have also officially been diagnosed. (Our other brother definitely has ADHD as well, but he won't see psych professionals anymore due to a bad teenage experience with antidepressants, so he won't seek diagnosis.) It's also worth noting that many Millenial women are being diagnosed now at the same time their kids because they are recognizing their own symptoms meet more modern diagnostic criteria
How ADHD has affected all of our lives is unique; the severity of symptoms and how disabling they are is definitely on a spectrum, in my experience.
I put all of this context here to say that it is both very likely that at least some of your kids would have ADHD and that your kids having ADHD doesn't mean they would necessarily struggle as much as you have. For one thing, you understand what it's like and can empathize. For another, we do actually understand a lot more about ADHD than we used to.
If you'll permit me the analogy, it's similar to a person being born today with trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome) vs even 15 years ago. In fact, I have a nephew who is 10 months old with trisomy 21. When my sister found out about it early on in her pregnancy, our parents were very worried about what his life might look like. My sister became involved with many of the local advocacy groups, and we learned how much more independent many of these adults can be with the proper support and resources. It, too, exists on a spectrum.
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u/psullynj 7h ago
My oldest born did but because of having it myself, I’ve been able to give him what no one could really give me - the right resources and tools. He’s incredibly smart and creative. I think he’ll do something to change the world
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u/Enough_Vegetable_110 20h ago
My husband and I both have ADHD, and one of our children has it and the other doesn’t.
However, neither of us see our ADHD as that bad of a problem, like yeah, it’s inconvenient, but it’s also what makes us both really good at our specific jobs. And we our teaching our daughter to lean in to her ADHD too. We are teaching her everything we wish we had been taught.
She is creative and SMART and funny, and super witty, and unique and outgoing. She’s kind and sensitive and generous …she’s also chaotic and a hot mess but id take those “negative” traits along with all her positive ones a million times over before I would want her to be “normal”.
Is it hard raising a kid with ADHD? Hell yes. Is it harder when you have ADHD too? I’m almost certain yes. But worth it. I get to be the support person for her, that I never got to have.
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u/Due_Consideration618 20h ago
I think a big thing to consider is that you know coping mechanisms for adhd. You also know to be on the lookout for it, and can get them to a doctor early on to get perscribed. There are some ups to adhd, mostly the ability to hyper focus on stuff, this can help a lot in some situations. The main thing to keep in mind is teaching them coping mechanisms while they are young so they can deal with it if it pops up.
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u/YOMAMACAN 20h ago
I’m batting .500…half of my kids have ADHD. But I don’t see it as a deterrent to having kids. I had them before I knew I had ADHD. I think it makes me more empathetic as a parent. I also have to work really hard though to keep up with mom stuff but my kids are learning to be independent in some ways. We have a shared to-do list where they drop things they need me to remember like when they want more snacks. I can help them set up systems because I know what to look out for.
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u/ConsequenceSimple411 20h ago
If one parent has ADHD, I think there is 50% chance a kid will inherit it. I am 45 and was diagnosed 2 years ago when elder child was going through the process of getting diagnosed. I basically leveled up on adhd knowledge so that I can try and support her as best as possible. At the same time, I also became less hard on myself as a parent and it was a relief. My kids are amazing. There is not a single day that goes by that I am now proud of them and who they are.
I accept that they will struggle at times and we will support them the best as we can and give them as much tools as we can. I think i am weirdly more concerned about a Mad Max apocalyptic scenario that they might need to live in than them having adhd. They probably been adaptable enou to survive i guess. Archery is a necessary skill.
But also know that being a parent and the additional load can put a strain if you have developed your own coping mechanisms.
You know yourself best but don't let adhd stop you from having kids or having a cat. It also part of accepting it's part of you and your kids and it helps you/them form different experiences to make up you/them.
Sorry I rambled.
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u/SparrowValentinus 19h ago
The heritability is over 50%. But, as another commenter pointed out, it is a much better experience when one knows what adhd is, and can get the proper treatment and understanding for it.
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u/likeablyweird 19h ago
I don't know if studies are showing ADHD is in the DNA but I live with three generations of men in the same line who all have it. It's not pretty when their chemical balance goes kerflooey. I'm happy to hear you're considering not having kids. There are so many kids looking for people and a place to call home.
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u/Excellent_Homework24 17h ago
I have ADHD pretty bad and my one kid does not have it all. She is more like her normal father lol
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u/thenarcostate 16h ago
mine did. I feel awful about it. I cried in the car when he was diagnosed. I still do. I broke my baby 😞
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u/BellJar_Blues 15h ago
Children do inherit genes but most importantly they learn through imitation. The first 8 years most important
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u/Belle_Hart22 8h ago
Mine did. And it’s been a super healing experience to give him the tools and the patience I wish I had received.
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u/27Sunflowers 8h ago
Mine did too and I echo this sentiment. I felt guilty for some time and then redirected that energy into being his biggest advocate. No child of mine will suffer the same trauma I did due to lack of support.
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u/99dalmatianpups 8h ago
Both of my parents are ADHD, and both of their children are ADHD too. It can really fucking suck.
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u/Acrobatic_Crow_830 8h ago
I would not have had kids if I’d had my diagnosis - it’s more than 50% heritable, and no amount of vitamins will reduce the challenge of navigating nonlinear children through a linear world with their self-esteem intact. They will suffer and you will suffer with them. And you will also be responsible for creating, structuring and maintaining every single minute of daily living routines (from peeing to brushing teeth to going to sleep) and medication routines - including advocating with physicians and calling around and getting refills during medication shortages, through social skills (meanness and yelling every morning because hangry.)
Read through the ParentingADHD subreddit to get a better feel - parenting non-ADHD children is a completely different experience.
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u/SlytherKitty13 6h ago
It's definitely possible, it is genetic. However, your kids are already in a better position than you probably were, just by having a parent who understands what it's like and knows how to help them. Honestly one of the main issues of having adhd is the lack of support and lack of parental understanding of issues and behaviours that stem from the adhd. Having that support and understanding helps a kid with adhd so much, and means they're less likely to be affected by the other negative effects that happen coz of having adhd
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u/Odd_Judgment_2303 20h ago
Having a loving and safe upbringing lessens ADHD. A stressful neglectful and or abusive childhood makes ADHD more severe.
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u/LissaMasterOfCoin 20h ago
My husband has ADHD, and we’re trying to have a baby and have to use ivf.
I’m trying to learn all I can about it. That’s why I’m in this sub.
My understanding is that ADHD is genetic. His father had it. I’m sorry. I have my concerns about that, given that I’m the partner without it and now I’ll have to parent a child with it. I’m scared I won’t know how to help them.
But F no that’s not going to scare me from having kids with him!
If you feel that strongly about not procreating with your genes, that is fine and completely up to you.
You can be child free by choice, which to me is great and don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong.
You can consider fostering or adopting kids that have already been born.
Or if you do want to be pregnant, there is egg or embryo adoption. But do check out the donor conceived sub, I think the general consensus is make sure the adoption is open so that the person you’re bringing into this world has the option of meeting their genetic family.
As far as omegas and vitamins and what not. My knowledge (just being an infertile person trying to get pregnant, so not a doctor or scientist) is that those only help egg quality, and it’s not even guaranteed. It’s a hope.
The higher quality the egg, the better chance at an embryo developing, pregnancy happening and less chance of a miscarriage.
Miscarriages can be caused if the embryo is “abnormal” meaning it’s missing chromosomes. Which can come from the egg or the sperm.
But to my knowledge, none of that can stop ADHD from being passed on to the kids.
PGT-A testing can help doctors choose a “normal” embryo aka an embryo that has all the chromosomes, to lessen the chance of miscarriages. But even then, the general rule is it takes 3 normal embryos per 1 live birth. PGT-A can even show you what the sex is of the embryo is, if it’s legal in that country. (We’re in the USA so know what ours are, I don’t think it matters to us. All we want are healthy kids. To me, and I believe my husbands feels the same, having a kid that has ADHD would not make them unhealthy.)
Anyways, sorry but nothing I’ve heard says there is anything you can do to prevent passing on ADHD.
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u/BirdTheMagpie ADHD with ADHD partner 21h ago edited 20h ago
Yes, your children will probably have ADHD. My husband's mom has it, and both of her sons ended up with it. I'm one of five (mom has ADHD, dad doesn't) and so far I'm the only one of my siblings to be diagnosed, so it does vary. It's very likely they will have it, though.
I'm just curious about why your kids having ADHD would be a reason you can't be a parent. People with ADHD can live fulfilling lives with therapy and support. It's your choice, but keep in mind that your kids might not feel the same way you do about having a disability. Some people with disabilities feel strongly that they'd prefer not to be born rather than being born with their specific disability, but others feel strongly that their lives are very much worth living regardless. I'm in the latter camp about my ADHD. I don't think that people like us shouldn't have kids, or that ADHD by itself makes life unbearable. Untreated ADHD can certainly make life unbearable, but with treatment, I feel that I have a very good quality of life.
Edit: Was "improving the quality of the baby" really what you meant to say? Babies with ADHD are not lower quality lol. Maybe you didn't mean it like that, but the wording is a bit strange.
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u/Dramatic-Ad-4607 21h ago
I had this worry also as I have ptsd anxiety and adhd and was also meant to get tested for autism. We aren’t having kids right now due to money issues despite it being a dream of mine but it’s always been in the back of my mind it could be passed and and I’d feel so much guilt
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u/Sims2Enjoy ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 21h ago edited 20h ago
It’s very likely but there’s a chance they might not. I want kids in the future and I would prefer if they didn’t had adhd but I would be okay if they had it. Like ADHD isn’t a walk in the park but it isn’t a death sentence either
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u/mamaofly 21h ago
One of mine kids does and one doesn't. I don't have a wholly negative view on adhd though. My son is a little me and I like it.
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u/Feeling-Chart-3846 21h ago
Most likely yes. I got it from my parents so it’s most likely gonna be genetic to my kids
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u/Mr_Peanut_is_my_dad 20h ago
I'm a parent of two children, one of them has (not severe) ADHD. Believe me, you're blessed if ADHD is the worst medical condition your children have to deal with. And parents are worried about their kids all the time anyway, even if they have no medical issues. For the rest of your life part of you will be worried about your children. Go for it!
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u/ryanisgoodlooking 20h ago
So funny. My mom has always said my brother and I inherited ADHD from my dad, who I've never observed any adult symptoms. She however has a few traits 
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u/SidneyTheGrey ADHD-HI (Hyperactive-Impulsive) 20h ago
It definitely runs in families but not a 100 percent guarantee.
It is my number one reason for not having children, second to the extreme executive dysfunction I deal with on a daily basis. But that is a me problem. You shouldn’t let this hold you back from your life goals.
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u/Tr0ubl3d_T1m3s_ ADHD-C (Combined type) 20h ago
hi! it’s highly probable but not guaranteed. my mother is not diagnosed but likely adhd and myself and both my siblings are all adhd. and while it is a struggle, medicine are improving all the time. it’s gotten easier as i’ve gotten older, and i believe my brothers would say the same.
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u/AuroraBoraOpalite 20h ago
i got diagnosed with adhd around the same time as my mom. we thought my little sister didnt have it too but turns out she does. my aunt and one of her kids are both going through the diagnostic process right now. so yeah its fairly likely. ive always been grateful to have a mum both aware of and diagnosed with the same thing as me. she put me in therapy fairly early on as well and it was incredibly helpful. the only thing i regret is that i was on stimulants from 8 and it impacted my relationship with food. lots of kids with adhd are born to parents without diagnosed adhd and grow up without the extra level of knowledge and support you would be able to give your children since you know they might have it already.
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u/PunchOX 20h ago
My mom has severe ADHD and so do I and we have similar habits. There is a likely chance they will but at a young age is the perfect time to iron out all the wrinkles to prep them for adulthood. Had I known I had it a lot sooner I would have been a beast knowing what strengths to work on and what to avoid. Currently fixing my life and it's hard trying to balance that with a full-time job and side hustle so adjusting and prepping when their young plays a pivotal role in their success
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u/TravelingYak 20h ago
Yes probably. I made two adhd children and they are so cool and amazing!!! And i even landed a partner who fits in with all 3 of us adhd'ers. Life is fun, surprising and amazing.
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u/FoolishAnomaly 20h ago
Based on my family history, my grandmother is most likely ADHD or on the spectrum, my mother had ADHD, I do too, and my sister has autism. Extended family also dealt with learning disabilities.
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u/HabibiShibabalala 19h ago
I have 3 boys. 1 for sure does not have adhd. 1 for sure does. The last one, I’m not sure yet. It is always a roll of the dice.
Life is struggles. Literally for every single person on earth, life is mutual suffrage. You will never be able to fully prevent the suffering of your children. Because if it wasn’t adhd— it’ll be something else. This is just how life works.
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u/Brazadian_Gryffindor 19h ago
It is genetic so there’s a possibility. I was diagnosed as an adult and I can see my parents clearly have it too. I think my dad might be Audhd (I also suspect I might be). My older sister thinks she’s on the spectrum too. My younger sister doesn’t seem to present anything.
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u/ifeelyouranger 19h ago
Me and my partner are both undiagnosed but most likely have ADHD. Our children will most likely have it too and I'm excited to do my best to ease their way in this world and help create their own wonders here <3
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u/KonArtist90 19h ago
... the 🥴 🙊... the "quality" 🙈of 😮💨 [ohh sweet baby jesus help me] Your Heart is 🥹 so precious, that your baby will be just precious perfect "quality" if it has 1/2 the compassion and consideration you are showing in this post.
TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION: ADHD isn't only genetic its also trauma response and environmental factors play a Huge Role, Nutrition has a MASSIVE Impact yes but more than THAT it is ever changing w their developmental stages both physical and hormonal so helping w that w/o ADHD is a constant learning process. ADHD would just be one more consideration. Strides of management have made HUGE WAVES in the past few years and I see things becoming better, more help being created.
Important to Consider: ADHD ALSO has to do a LOT w the "stud" health as well surprise that biological fathers choices nutritionally and functionally up to a YEAR before FEMALE is impregnated changes the Placenta and the Chemistry of the Amniotic Sac (which made in her body 12ish days after fertilization) , STUD chemistry can PERMANENTLY CHANGE the FEMALES PHYSICAL HEART STRUCTURES and FUNCTIONs. & w allll of that going on, have you addressed, practiced the discipline, & systems you want in place to maintain your OWN proper care while going w/o proper sleep~ bc MOM BRAIN/NEW MOM HORMONES will genuinely -not comedically- make everyone in the house question your sanity and maybe your will to live.
I am speaking from experience & I LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN BEING A MOTHER!!! My baby (now teen) is more than BLOOD & AIR to me, it borders unhealthy, and as I have ADHD I have to not allow myself to HYPER-FIXATE on HER bc I want a better life for her than to be here to fulfill MY Joy 😅😅. She is too WOW for me.
anyway ~ all that being said nobody is normal/perfect. No pregnancy can be guaranteed to lead to a healthy baby. no way in securing any of the things that you're asking for,
BUT!! the fact that you're asking shows more conscientiousness, compassion and care than 95% of the parents out there or more~ & THAT is Beautiful, and I don't know any thing else about you, but that bit alone does shine a ray of hope~ It sounds like in Your Heart, awaits a wonderful loving parent-role, when you are ready to release fear and absorb the experience and mess and wonder of rolling and adapting w this new soul and watching and guiding them into the best life they can build for their joy. 🥹🥰
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u/amandal0514 19h ago
Yeah probably. I took my daughter to get tested when she was in 2nd grade and while the psychologist was explaining the symptoms of Inattentive ADHD I realized that’s what I’d had my whole life.
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u/herringsarered 19h ago
My dad has big ADHD symptoms, but was never formally diagnosed.
I have ADHD and so do two of my brothers- diagnosed.
And my other brother’s wife has told me she is pretty sure he has ADHD too.
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u/Opening_Sky_3740 19h ago
Yes, it’s highly likely to my understanding.
From experience, both of my parents have it and so do I.
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u/lauraz0919 19h ago
My whole family had it and none of us were diagnosed til adults. At times we had issues with schooling. Most all of my nieces/nephews and all my children also have it. You should hear conversations when we are together..35 things spoke about and answering each other but no one ever finishes their thought. But there are so many changes in the medical field and school atmosphere has learned to work with it too. So I would think your children will be MUCH better off with you as a parent knowing what to expect and how to help them than so many others.
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u/MoonlessPaw 19h ago
Both of my parents are diagnosed just like me. So it is highly likely I think.
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u/Brief_Buddy_7848 19h ago
I very obviously got my ADHD from my dad, but my sister definitely does NOT have ADHD, so it’s not necessarily a guarantee
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u/xazucarita 19h ago
Yes, they will. Both of mine did and now I took my tubes out to prevent having more bc it’s hard ngl
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u/Apprehensive-Oil-500 18h ago
It is genetic but it's not a bad thing. Your kids would have a parent who was aware and sympathetic and willing to get them diagnosis, treatment and stratigies. Who would advocate for them with the school system and get them support. Help them figure out their strengths and harness the great things abt adhd. Your kids wouldnt be late diagnosed and wouldn't struggle like you. There is also more understanding and support out there.
I have adhd and I was still able to get my masters and I have a job and life I love. Meds have also helped a lot. Without adhd I doubt we would have various inventions and technologies and research. Without adhd the world would be a lot more dull.
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u/natchinatchi 18h ago
I’ve recently been diagnosed and realised that my mum is way worse than me. However, even though it can be hard I’m grateful for my life and glad my parents made me!
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u/Femizzle 18h ago
My kid is 4th Gen Adhd so probably yes. Now will they get your flavor of adhd is questionable but the most important thing I can tell you is you need to work through your negative feelings about your diagnosis and how it impacts your life. If you don't you will most likely pass down the self loathing to your child and imo that feeling is far more detrimental the the adhd itself.
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u/Lazaara 18h ago
Possibly. My husband and I both have it but I wasn’t diagnosed until after my child. And now knowing what symptoms look like I’m pretty sure my mother also has it. But you have it and know what to look for and how you can help. My husband knew our daughter had it before she was tested. He could see the signs. He’s also the one that encouraged me to get diagnosed after living with all of my crazy behaviors for so long.
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u/gemstonehippy 18h ago
There is less of a chance of them getting ADHD if no childhood trauma/abuse.
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u/ozziesironmanoffroad 18h ago
Great chance. It’s why I don’t want kids. I don’t want to put anyone else thru this
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u/Crayshack ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 17h ago
It's not 100% certain they'll have it, but it does tend to run in families.
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u/universe93 17h ago
Potentially yes. In fact a lot of women don’t even know they’re ADHD until their child is diagnosed and they’re told it’s genetic and likely means one or both parents is ADHD as well. (Same with autism spectrum). It’s not a bad thing to be ADHD especially if you know there’s a risk and can get your child the proper treatment early. A lot of us didn’t suffer due to treatment - it was the years we spent not knowing we had it.
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u/Calm-Obligation-7772 16h ago
I gave it to my son. 😒 He will be 6 next week and it is extremely frustrating. The psychiatrist who diagnosed him said that he doesn’t know how I do it. And the PCP asked me at our last appointment if he is always this high energy. I honestly didn’t think he was THAT BAD.
My other son doesn’t seem to have it but he’s only 3.
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u/elementalbee 16h ago
My mom has ADHD and I have ADHD. My dad does not, my sister does not. Luck of the draw lol
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u/rubbishcook-1970 16h ago
I have ADHD but wasn’t diagnosed until I was 44. My son has ADD. His son, we just found out, has level 3 autism. My father was diagnosed with BPD at 58 and his father killed himself when my father was nine. Definitely seems to be hereditary.
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u/w------h------y 16h ago
yes pretty high for biological children, especially if you would be the mother.
unless you think that you would not truly love an adopted child the same as a biological child (and really be honest with yourself as you consider that), i think that adoption would be a better idea for you!
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u/lulurancher 16h ago
I’m sure one or both of my parents have it (not diagnosed), and so do I, but my sister 1000% does not.
My daughter is 2 so I have no idea her if she does yet!
I guess the way I look at it is there are SO many things that impact someone’s life and development… Attachment to their caregivers, socioeconomic status, physical disabilities, physical “beauty”, education level, trauma, emotional support neglect etc etc..
Even IF my kid does have ADHD I know I’ll be equip to help them navigate it, and I’ll be providing a loving, nurturing, stable home. No I’m not perfect but I know I’m a really good mom and I know what to look out for and how to advocate for her! There are sooo many variables that make someone’s life hard and I can’t protect her from all of them, but I know I can help her with whatever comes her way
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u/theragequiter 16h ago
Pretty good chance yes, I think the research says about a 50% chance but don’t quote me on that, that was from my group therapy like 5 years ago. When I did ADHD group therapy it was pretty common for older group members to have found out about their ADHD when their kids got diagnosed. My dad got diagnosed when I found out at age 30. So yeah pretty good chance.
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u/VioletDreaming19 16h ago
Possibly yes. Research has shown that there is a generic component to ADHD. But there’s no guarantee. We can always be a carrier for a lot of genes without knowing too, unless we get tested.
ADHD certainly has its struggles, but that doesn’t make it a death sentence. Plenty of folks with it still live beautiful happy lives. Especially with support and understanding from the get go.
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u/IDidItWrongLastTime 16h ago
It is heavily genetic/inherited.
I didn't realize I had ADD until my son was diagnosed. It made a lot of stuff make sense for me and I wish I'd been diagnosed sooner.
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u/sharpieoutofink 16h ago
Im a 43 year old dad. Both of mine (23f and 18m) inherited ADHD. My wife is driven crazy by some of our worst symptoms, but love support and understanding has been very important throughout their growth. My wife is an extremely helpful outside point of view and herself has learned the 'ADD' language to explain things to us in a way we understand.
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u/Current-Strategy-826 15h ago
ADHD isn’t genetic. There is no gene for it. It’s a neurodevelopmental disorder that happens in childhood. Environmental factors are responsible for the developing brain. Almost everything around us is toxic. Even the water.
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u/myfataldesire 15h ago
My psychiatrist told me there is a strong genetic link. 50% likelihood if one parent has ADHD that their child will too. Obviously, likelihood is higher if both parents have ADHD
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u/AlfalfaConstant431 15h ago
It's about a 33% chance of inheritance. One of mine has it, the other does not. Happily, we have the help and input of my mother, who also has ADHD, and more experience raising ADHD kids than I do.
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u/LordWelder 15h ago
My daughter inherited it from me, my son didn't. Odds are high though. Fact you have ADHD yourself you will be able to help out situations with you kids. Life is far from over with an ADHD diagnosis :)
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u/Momkiller781 15h ago
Yup. My dad has it, me and my sisters, and now my 3 kids. Well that's not true, just one of them has ADHD. The other two are also autistic.
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u/Secret-phoenix88 15h ago
Well, I didn't get diagnosed until AFTER my kids. 1 just got diagnosed at 6yrs old and I suspect my elder has it too, but not as obvious.
My mom definitely has it along with denial.
There are sooo many tools and resources out there and i just found out that in post secondary, there are grants and you even get a computer and different softwares to assist with studying that the government provides.
Im in Canada though...
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u/Lylibean ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 14h ago
I got my ADHD from my dad. So did my nephew (though my sister was spared). Also got my mom’s OCD and BPD. And am a 4th generation (at least) anorexic. (Mom, her mom, and her dad’s mom.)
So, more than likely, yes. While mental health issues aren’t always genetic, a large part of the development is environmental. So you’ll either pass it down through your genes, or your kid will glean it off you.
Weigh heavily the decision to bring a new human life into the world who will more than likely suffer the same way you have. All the vitamins in the world won’t necessarily protect the kid, especially if it’s inherited - not even Omega-3 can change that. Neither will the foresight of experience - their brain won’t necessarily work the same way yours does, and what works for you might be totally useless for them.
And why the sadness for not having kids? Kids will not bring you happiness, purpose, or fulfillment in your life - that falls squarely upon your own shoulders to provide for yourself. Take some time to consider why you want children. Make a list of the reasons, and cross off any reasons that start with “I want . . .”. Kids don’t “continue mAh LeGaCy”; rather, it’s your actions in life which build a legacy that lives far beyond your death. If you are incapable of that on your own, well, you have no “legacy” to pass down.
And remember: you are more likely to bring a serial killer or mass murderer (or otherwise horribly disturbed human) into the world than the “kid who grows up to cure cancer”. There have been hundreds (if not thousands) of evil monster babies who grow up to commit atrocities born over the years but not a single one yet who has cured cancer.
I know my words are harsh, but my intent isn’t to be nasty, just realistic, in an attempt to disconnect you from romanticizing parenthood. It won’t make your marriage stronger, won’t improve your life, won’t fix all your problems. It won’t make you whole if you feel broken, won’t bring you fulfillment if you feel empty, won’t give you a reason to live if you feel you have none. Those feelings won’t go away, and you can’t expect a literal infant to do those things for you. And you don’t want to battle those demons while also juggling another human life for whom you are responsible for the next two and a half decades of your life (or longer, should you have a severely disabled child who requires lifelong around-the-clock care for feeding, bathing, and toileting).
If you can’t find your own happiness, please don’t create another human life for the sole purpose of bearing that burden for you. Spend some time reading the regretful parent sub and take a big bite out of the reality of parenthood.
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u/Own_Handle_1135 14h ago
Both my sons have ADHD. Different Dads who aren't ADHD so I guess they got it from me.
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u/Dull-Grass8223 13h ago
Would you say that your life with ADHD is so miserable that you would rather have not existed? Probably not. So I say don’t worry about it. It’s the most treatable psychiatric disorder.
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u/Panzer_bot 13h ago
Regardless of genetics, behaviour and habits are easily passed on. Abusive father can often lead to an abusive son, even if there are no genes for that.
Kids start picking up small behavioural traits in parents and that sets the bar for normal. Genetics may or may not play a role but upbringing surely does.
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u/BikuKz 13h ago
I wouldn't worry much. You had struggles but hou have a life and you're living it. What would had happened if your mum or dad knew and decided not to have you?
The good thing is that now you know the issue ad you can hekp your future children.
If you don't want to have children, because you don't like or because you don't see yourself as a father is okay.
But not having children because you have ADHD... Those future children have a right to exoerience themselves if they want to live or not :P
I would beg to anyone to stop the no-baby thing because they are X and thag can pass to their babies
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