r/ADHD • u/graciebear66 • 2d ago
Questions/Advice Is ADHD induced depression actually a thing?
I’ve been getting medicated for ADHD for as long as i can remember. (Started at 12 years old & im currently 21) From what I can remember about not being medicated, was that i did not care about anything. ADHD meds have improved my ability to focus & concentrate significantly. i am on the maximum dosage of adderall my doctor can give me and i feel like it’s working perfect but i have some concerns that just hit me. i think my depression started a few months after i started taking adderall in 2017. i always got bullied as a child. but i never cared about it and i never let it affect me. UNTIL, i started Adderall and i had a very hard time being able to process my emotions despite Adderall working for my concentration. and i have very low motivation as well fast forward to now, i have been smoking 🍃 on the side during nights to help with intrusive thoughts but i have been feeling an insane amount of guilt from needing to use it to stay stable.. im a constant overthinker & im struggling so much rn, i lost my job recently & i just need some advice cuz my adhd symptoms are worsening the more i just stay home n rot :( am i experiencing burn out? or what. idk but im just trying to figure out wtf is wrong with me. i constantly feel like something is wrong with me every single day when i wake up and i do not know why
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u/Vegetable-Handle5432 2d ago
There’s nothing wrong with you. I get it 100%. I just turned 30 and I’m realizing it’s all about who you surround yourself with. I was diagnosed at 10 and put on Ritalin until I started HS in 2009 and then just stopped(it made me not eat and I’m extremely small for my age and I can’t afford to not eat). So I went unmedicated for the next 15 years or so. And boy what a hot mess. Dropped out of college. Having several jobs. Turned to alcohol to make my brain normal for just once in my life.
Fast forward to last year. I’m at my absolute lowest. Trial and error with 4 different ADHD meds, Unemployed for 10 months, applying to every job I can think of(ended up applying to a total of 105 positions..nothing), parents are 1,200 miles away tending to a family emergency for 3 months all while I’m taking care of my dying childhood dog(she passed in August at 18 years). I’m really questioning how I got to this point. Not having many friends throughout the years cause I feel people just didn’t know how to handle me and I was always just too much. And the constant worry that I’m doing something wrong and someone will get mad at me and I couldn’t handle another person just abandoning me cause once again, I am too much
Fast forward to now. I’m medicated(Jornay 80mg), I finally have a job that I’ve been at for 2 months now and it’s really changed my views because while I’m still skeptical because everyone leaves in the end, I can truly say I work with great people. My attitude is changing and my parents have surprised me with a puppy coming home in 2 weeks.
Don’t give up. You will find your way. All of your feelings are valid and there’s thousands of people in the exact same boat. Our minds can truly be our worst enemy. Sorry for the long post 😩
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u/graciebear66 2d ago
dude I’m really starting to wonder if my ADHD symptoms are worsening as I get older too. is that even a thing as well???
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u/Vegetable-Handle5432 2d ago
I always wonder that. And the crap part is I truly don’t remember most of highschool let alone anything before that. It’s all a blur because my brain never stops. It’s all day everyday. Thinking about absolutely every aspect of everything. Getting involved in others business when I shouldn’t. Caring too much about people that have their own lives and their own people. I’m also an only child so I didn’t have anyone growing up to help me get out the craziness while at home. It’s always just me, myself and I.
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u/Future-Translator691 2d ago
It almost sounds like you are depressed when you are not on the meds (not feeling anything is a common sign of depression - feeling “checked out”). Probably when you take the meds it provides more emotional stability and you start feeling things again and it probably feels overwhelming - just a theory, I’m not a psychiatrist so it would be good to check!
From personal experience, my symptoms are always worse when I stay at home for long periods of time - I think ADHDers can’t have long holidays 😂 - there’s just lack of routine and stimulation and that’s like slowly dying away.
Have you also tried other types of adhd meds? I’m on Vyvanse/Elvanse which supposedly works better for those of us that have a lot of overthinking and anxiety - when I’m on it my overthinking significantly reduces and I have not negative self talk as well (which I experienced for the first time in my life at the age of 34yo - it felt amazing). So it might be worth considering that too.
Anxiety and overthinking alone (not depression) can always make you feel like you need to things and like something is wrong - there’s like a trigger in your brain that never gets away from this loop of concerns - even if there’s nothing wrong. The meds really helped me with that (although only for 6/8 hours a day) but it’s a relief at least.
I know it’s hard to be on a low point as well and with our overthinking we always feel it’s the end of the world - but try to keep looking for solutions. Wishing you luck!
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u/graciebear66 1d ago
i am actually depressed when I’m on & off the meds. I’ve tried Vyvanse and a few others before but they did not do anything for me unfortunately
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u/Emotional-Box-6835 1d ago
I think it may be. I consistently do great during what I refer to "working hours" from about 6AM to 6PM on weekdays. It's the nights and weekends (I call this "off hours") that are hit or miss. Who I'm with, where I'm at, what I'm doing...all of this makes more of a difference than the meds do in the grand scheme of things. My life generally just sucks when I'm not at work or similarly engaged with something.
At the moment I'm waiting out the process of paying down debts and dealing with a few other obligations that make staying home and doing little to nothing beyond my day job the most productive option for the long term. I am absolutely miserable during off hours but it's allowing me to get so many of the root causes of my anxiety dealt with. After a few more months I can switch gears and deal with the ADHD and the mood issues, right now it's either/or.
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