Are you motivated by money?

[u/sunny-october]

Curious to hear if you are motivated by money or passion, and what your occupation is.

Feel free to go into detail about how you got there, what made you realize it, or if you’re feeling stuck,, etc.

Personally, I was raised by money driven parents, but I always just wanted to be a pop star for the performance and expression sake lol. I listened to them and pursued a corporate job—which isn’t going too great. The social politics are kind of hard to handle. I’m wondering if this is a hidden symptom of ADHD. I’m constantly told to play up the niceties but I’m really just trying to get through my day and the million spreadsheets and email managing I’m doing. It’s not that I spend money like crazy or don’t know how to manage it. I’m just kind of find how I am? I have a lack of fulfillment and really have a hard time getting anything done because of it. My ADHD co-worker feels the same way.

My buddy said he clocked 12 hours at his basically sweatshop job—VOLUNTARILY. And he’s going on his day off again. When I asked him why, he said, “Money, bro.”

[u/AutoModerator]

Hi /u/sunny-october and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!

Please take a second to read our rules if you haven't already.

---

/r/adhd news

• If you are posting about the US Medication Shortage, please see this post.

---

^{This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Variable851]

I'm motivated by money but I can't tolerate doing things I don't like. I like the puzzle that people represent. I'm a clinical psychologist in private practice

[u/Own_Ice3264 → u/Variable851]

Hey! I hope you don’t mind me asking but I’m a baby psych (student) 😅 and you may be the first clinical psychologist with ADHD that I’ve seen so it’s really exciting.

Can I ask how do you find working day to day as a psychologist with ADHD? Does the fatigue get to you?

[u/Variable851 → u/Own_Ice3264]

Of course. I don't deal with much fatigue unless I'm very busy. I've been able to use some of my ADHD symptoms as tools. I can hyperfixate on people's stories and recall them later as if I'm walking through the story with them. A large part of my practice is psych evals and I've become unbelievably efficient at writing reports. I didn't start taking medication until age 51, diagnosed at 26. ADHD never impacted my work other than things taking longer than they should but my home life was the stereotypical disaster of losing, forgetting and misplacing

[u/sunny-october → u/Variable851]

Ahhhh I see. Found something that makes money but is interesting for you. Would you say then that you put your passion/interests first and then filtered down by projected salary? Or what else did you consider?

[u/Variable851 → u/sunny-october]

For that time in my life, I think I put the most feasible passion first and then focused on the things that were most lucrative in that area. I'm 53. If 3D printing and computer design were where they are now when I was 20, I may have veered into engineering and design as that's what I spend most of my free time doing. I do really like helping people though and seeing them benefit from our time together.

[u/sunny-october → u/Variable851]

I got you. As a patient, thank you for doing what you do! Awesome hobby. Thanks for sharing.

[u/lukewarmratpee]

I’m not particularly driven by money and I’d 1000% rather do a job I liked rather than one I hated that paid more.

I work in children’s services and it pays okay but I love it and wouldn’t change for money.

[u/sunny-october → u/lukewarmratpee]

Awesome, thanks for answering. When you say pays okay, is it okay in terms of the work or in regards to your lifestyle?

[u/lukewarmratpee → u/sunny-october]

Both I’d say. I can live comfortably on what I earn but I’ve still had to move back in with my parents in order to save money for my own house lol

[u/Square-Chip-8114]

Passion driven for sure….entrepreneurship is great for those with adhd because you can chase your passion and become money hungry in the process which in turn motivates me to keep going

[u/sunny-october → u/Square-Chip-8114]

That’s a cool perspective. How did you go about that?

[u/Square-Chip-8114 → u/sunny-october]

I knew I liked creating, had to be hands on. I started formulating skin care products. I’ve never been able to focus and understand what I’m doing the way I do with these products. I’m currently working part time but end goal is to be a full time business owner and grow financially. With ADHD you actually have an advantage when it comes to things you’re very passionate about. Once you’re in it the sky’s the limit. I say go for what you want and what you need will eventually follow that.

[u/passingcloud79]

Absolutely not. Which is probably my downfall, I think I should be a bit more driven by it….ie less impulsive.

[u/sunny-october → u/passingcloud79]

What do you do for a living? Does the impulsiveness come from spending on your hobbies or does it feel like aimless spending?

[u/passingcloud79 → u/sunny-october]

Terrible planning financially combined with impulsive spending and getting excited about new hobbies etc. Also horrendous planning in terms of things like food, not being organised enough to sort out a better mortgage deal and things like this.

I am self employed and so attaining work is largely down to myself, and I’ve lost a lot of work because of the struggles — not getting back to enquiries, etc. I’ve only just come to realise that the level of planning for the main part of my job is not for me. I have though trained as a therapist and my ultimate goal is to do that as my main work.

[u/GHSTmonk]

Currently a mix looking to make a bit more money to hit retirement goals and I plan to do that through passion work.

I do business/data analysis contracting. I really like data. 

[u/sunny-october → u/GHSTmonk]

Interesting! How’d you realize that was a passion of yours?

[u/GHSTmonk → u/sunny-october]

Looking back at past jobs it was typically the task(s) I liked the most. I also tend to make large intricate excel documents in my personal life for fun to track random things.

I also never get bored learning about data analysis, data science, excel, dashboards, etc. it is the only long term interest that has never waned. 

[u/Skipper0463]

I’m not motivated by money past needing enough to survive. I don’t know if it’s ADHD or not but I do have a high justice sensitivity and consider myself a moral and ethical person. I don’t like earning money that I feel was obtained unethically. I’d rather be poor and honest than a rich liar.

[u/sunny-october → u/Skipper0463]

Mmm have you ever been in a position where the money you earned felt that way?

[u/Skipper0463 → u/sunny-october]

Not really. I try not to put myself into those positions in the first place but I have had sales jobs I did poorly at because I felt like the techniques we were given to make sales were unethical. One time in high school my dad tried to bribe me to go out for sports and I couldn’t do it, even the reward was pretty good. I can’t do things unless I feel like my motivation is pure.

[u/UncuckableDuck]

The lack of self-confidence growing up, the social struggles, and intense/likely excessive sense of justice have filled me with a deep and unhealthy conviction for achieving "success", and therefore money, at the cost of much of my mental health and relationships. I'm constantly trying to prove my worth to society and to myself, and to snub all those who treated me poorly or overlooked my worth. But also so that romantic partners are more willing to overlook my ADHD quirks —not that that's an excuse to not continue to work on my ADHD issues.

My parents were also constantly grinding, and I think they were caught in the same trap I am. They absolutely ignored their mental health needs to achieve "success", and I have done the same, which only made them crazier and crazier in the end. Their relationship failed miserably as a result, I think.

I tend to ignore all pain, hunger, and other external stimuli, all to achieve a certain goal. That behavior bleeds into and is perpetuated by my work. And now I have the big brain ouchies and am about to take several months off to try to heal from the burnout, my failed romantic relationship, and spend time fostering the relationships I still have.

The lesson I've learned is that you should only work hard if it isn't affecting your general well-being and others around you. Otherwise, take the time you need to recharge, or find ways to work less hours, or find less stressful work, etc. Money is not nothing, but it's not everything. Yes, success might make you richer and cause you to seem more valuable to someone you love, but it can and will suck your soul dry, changing your personality for the worse, and tack on yet another reason for your partner or others to avoid you.

[u/Mother-Button-2974]

I've pretty much lost all passion for anything, I work because it pays the bills. That's pretty much it lol

But I'm motivated by money the most. I would do a job I could tolerate if it paid more. I wouldn't do a job for free just because I enjoy it. The only thing more important to me when it comes to anything like that, is rest. I wouldn't put money over my overall well being.

[u/SmallGlock]

Nope. I work because I have to live. If I had things my way I’d be touring the world and playing shows in new cities every night. I’ve never stopped dreaming. I’m 1000% a passion driven person. I’ve been the most emotionally intense and relentlessly optimistic person I know for my entire life. Maybe being deeply suicidal some years ago and overcoming my own issues put things into perspective. If nothing else I’ve learned that it always pays to follow your heart. The world would be a much prettier place if we all had the chance 💜

[u/sunny-october → u/SmallGlock]

I’m glad you’re still here, you sound like a wonderful person. I relate to you so much, and, sincerely and genuinely, thank you for helping me decide to quit my job and find something that makes me happier.

[u/Loco_Motive_]

Absolutely not, as long as I can live (not survive). Don‘t intend to produce anyone to inherit my shit, so why accumulate?

I‘m very motivated by people. Their smiles, their gratefulness, their agreement, their acceptance, their respect, their adoration.

I work in a job where I can regularly impress people with my knowledge and compassion for their mistakes. This doesn‘t fill my cup unless I like the person I‘m helping, which is becoming an incrasingly bigger issue.

Being vulnerably honest: my subconscious dream jobs would probably be celebrity or cult leader. I consciously stay away from that because I fear losing sight of the difference.

[u/Own_Ice3264]

I’m motivated by the things money can buy like new plushies, Lego sets, make up, random hobbies etc.. (I’m 37 😂)

However I don’t dream of becoming a rich business women 😅 I dream of being the wife of a wealthy man 😅

I am currently a student psychologist and my motivation is helping others and proving to myself I can do it.

My ADHD/mental health couldn’t cope with all the fighting and competition in the corporate world.

[u/omnomjohn]

No. Money doesn't work at all as a motivator for me.

I'm just lucky with the money as a software engineer - which I like doing. Same goes for my wife, yay.

The only reason more money is interesting, is so we can work less. We're both at 32 hours a week now, hopefully 24 at some point in the next few years.

More time for fun is THE most important goal we have. The less we have to worry about the energy spent at work, the better.

[u/WillWasntHere]

nah not at all. Money is nice sure but i do not care if i earn 10k vs 100k

I always believe that the more you have the more you want. The wealthy man earns $100 more than his neighbour

The world makes you think money and job are the most important things ever, but it’s not true.

[u/sunny-october → u/WillWasntHere]

Felt this. Talked to another co-worker who used to dance ballet. They said they left because they realized, “money is everything.” Now their goals is to work their way up in development. Wondered if he’ll still feel that way later on.

[u/WillWasntHere → u/sunny-october]

i think it’s a pretty hollow existence believing that money is absolutely everything - if you have children, they’ve no real concept of money until they hit a certain age, they just know their loved or not loved. Family, time and health above absolutely anything else, ever.

[u/24rawvibes]

Nope. Not in the slightest. I’ve had nice things before, couldn’t have cared less. I remember being a kid and told “don’t you want nice things when you grow up? (Lavish,luxury)” turns out, nope. I don’t give a shit, just need it to function. Kids fed

[u/sunny-october → u/24rawvibes]

Thisss. Years ago, my dad was upset with me for dropping my accounting major (did a Frankenstein type of degree instead), did this sort of “intervention” for me and said, “don’t you want to be rich? Don’t you have any motivation?” All my siblings said, yes, duh, of course. I asked him, “I feel like we’re okay. You’ve given us a good life. I would be happy to live like this forever. What more do we need?” Safe to say I was the odd one out lol.

[u/24rawvibes → u/sunny-october]

Meh, after a bit of time and experience I see them as the odd ones now. I see it as blessing to not be tied to the same materialistic shackles as them. A sort of freedom. The individuals I know like that are very obviously missing something and they are trying to fill it. Whether or not they are as blissfully ignorant to that as they try and portray idk. Not saying I’m completely as whole and together as I’d like to be either. Also, not to say sometimes I’m envious in the fun they appear to be having with these “items”, how it makes them happy. I’d like that. But it’s all just surface level bs and I’ve just outgrown it really. Idk maybe I’m just a prude hahaha. I will add though it makes me happy to buy my kids toys and gifts either because they earned it or for a surprise. But they are kids, that’s when all that stuff is actually fun and exciting, before you realize”ah, it’s all just “stuff” who cares”.

[u/sunny-october → u/24rawvibes]

Nahhh not a prude. I love your perspective. Emphasis on the surface level bs indeed. Thanks for answering!

[u/2v4lve]

No and it’s a hinderance lol

[u/sunny-october → u/2v4lve]

I second that haha

[u/Moonjinx4]

I am motivated by the ability to provide for my family. I do not like that I have to earn money to do that. There are limits to what I will do for money, and there are limits to how much money I will accept for a job depending on who’s paying. If I could, I’d share all my things liberally with others with the expectation that they’d do the same in return. But I know that is unrealistic, and makes people weirdly uncomfortable for some reason.

[u/sunny-october → u/Moonjinx4]

Would you then say your family is your passion?

Your observation of people’s discomfort about a system like that is spot on. This is how I functioned with my siblings growing up (3/4 of us have ADHD, poor us),, so going into the “real” world was disappointing.

[u/Moonjinx4 → u/sunny-october]

Yes. I love helping people really. But I don’t like interacting with most people because they often make me uncomfortable. My husband and children are the only people who I can be myself around. And we all work to help and support each other. I was diagnosed late, and am learning alongside my children what I should have learned years ago. I work with the motivation to make this world a better place for my children in the hopes that they won’t have to suffer as I did.

[u/sunny-october → u/Moonjinx4]

Even though it’s late, I’m glad you have answers now. A1 momma, I know they’ll appreciate it forever to have your support and understanding.

[u/Hello_GeneralKenobi]

Of course it's nice to have some money and it makes life a lot more comfortable. I'd rather not be homeless and starving. However, I'm not really motivated by the typical "American dream" of buying a big house, expensive car, big TV, etc. I'm not sure if it's an ADHD thing or not but I'd say I don't care about "things" as much as the average American. I'm content to live in a small apartment and don't really have aspirations to buy a house.

[u/Only_Struggle_]

This is an interesting take!!! Never thought not being motivated by money could be related to ADHD. But, I relate with OP and other people who commented here. Yah, I’d like to have money and I do work for it. But, It’s never been a huge motivator for me. Instead I do stuff that makes me happy and satisfy my curiosity.

[u/DatoVanSmurf]

I'd say kinda, but not really? I grew up on the poorer side. So i learned to safe all my money instead of spending it. I won't do stuff just for money, but i also won't do jobs/gigs if there's no/low money involved if that makes sense?

I'm jobless because i am unable to work more than a few hours per week without instantly getting burn out. So I guess the reason for me not doing it if it doesn't give me anything, is because i need to throw in a lot of my energy for the week, just to work that day.

[u/Shrekismylord6328]

Yes and don’t let anyone stop you no matter how much they don’t want to listen or agree with you.

[u/griffaliff]

Not particularly, only in so much as I need it to not starve and enjoy life. I just about managed to get myself into a career which I enjoy and keeps me active but I've never been driven by chasing money.

[u/lowkeyenigma]

Money only motivates me as long as it removes obstacles from my life. The point where it starts to create more obstacles, like overextending myself and burning out, or prevents me from enjoying my personal time, is the point where I stop caring for it.

There’s always a balancing act in my head, where I try to compare what I get, versus what I have to give in return. I try to stay balanced as much as I can. Easier said than done.

[u/Struukduuker]

No and yes. It doesn't make you happy, but in the world we live you still need it. So I earn what I need and that's it. I'm motivated by living. Love my job and that's a big plus, but I don't live to work, I work to live.

[u/the_Snowmannn]

I'm motivated by being able to pay my bills and sometimes buy a few things, not by money itself. I've never really been money driven. I never cared for or wanted to be rich, although, I would prefer to not have to worry about paying bills.

Also, when I was in high school, I wanted to pursue art and/or music as a career. My father was completely against it, always saying things like, "There are already too many starving artists." or "Creativity can't guarantee your bills are paid." So he convinced me to go to college where I failed miserably (mostly because I never learned how to study. Good grades were just pretty easy). So I ended up dropping out, did a brief stint in the army reserves, went back to school, and dropped out again, .

I've had some good and bad jobs since then, some making decent money, but most were barley enough to get by.

I currently work in customer service. I've been with the same company for eight years and have gotten a few promotions. With the price of housing (and everything else), it's really not enough.