r/ADHD • u/Resident_Research563 • 1d ago
Questions/Advice Forgetting how it’s like not to be on meds
I got diagnosed 2 years ago, and it took me some time to find the right medications that were working for me (probably a year of anxiety, suicidal thoughts and depression). Now I’m on Adderrall ER twice a day, to avoid the crash in the evening afternoon + a low dose of mood stabilizer. This has helped so much!!! I can finally do things, overcome the small challenges, I feel like I only have one “voice” in my head. My performance at work has been the same, but without all the stress and chaos around it, which has really improved my day-to-day mood (there’s always really bad days, but they’ve become less and less and easier to manage). At the same time it also feels.. a bit strange? As if I am becoming another person. I don’t go to social events as much, I enjoy my time alone, I feel less impulsive and I dont feel that I seek creativity (not that I ever had any real creative talents, but stuff like carefully organizing a Spotify playlist in a specific order, writing handwritten letters to friends etc)..
Sometimes on some weekend mornings I feel like I have my “old brain back” and it’s a strange, almost foreign experience. At first I’m excited about it because I feel good also with my un-medicated brain, but it quickly fades and I get stuck with not knowing what to do next… anyone else experiencing this kind of disconnect before/after taking meds? Or anyone who can just relate..
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