r/ADHD • u/Happy_Newspaper2013 • 19h ago

Questions/Advice What has actually been helpful for you to cope?

I (f,25) wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was 20 but have struggled so much my whole life. I can't ever get anything done, my emotions and my thoughts are all over the place. I feel like I have so much potential but it just goes to waste and it sucks so bad. I did try Ritalin which was fine but didn't work too well, Lisdexamfetamine worked best for me. I felt like I could be at peace for the first time in my life.. sadly it wasn't too great for my heart (gave me slight heart palpitations) so my doctor recommended I try Strattera. I have yet to try it, I will pick up my prescription next week. What worked best for you guys? any apps, books, workbooks, websites etc. you can recommend as an aid? which medication was best for you? I know what works for some might not work for others and it's a trial and error thing but I'd be so thankful for any advice or recommendations.

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u/the_dryad 19h ago

I’m 49, 36 mg Concerta. And I’ve found what works for me is “snooping” adhd forums and videos, trying out things other people do, if it works, I keep it.

That and lots of alarms on my phone.

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u/Inadequate_Brat 19h ago

I don‘t know what parts you struggle with the most, but the part I‘m best at dealing with is the forgetfulness. Like I would forget literally everything.

So I‘ve started putting everything that has a specific time in Google Calendar: doctor appointments, therapy sessions and anything that is on a specific day, like deadlines or other dates I have to remember.

And for university I plan the next 2 weeks in advance, more broadly the further away it is and for the upcomming day everything explicitly as a To-Do List (even eat and shower etc.) Now I don’t plan specific hours for every task, because I’d never be able to stick to that, but at least I know what I do before what lecture or before lunch etc.

Now that alone would not be enough for me to actually remember to do things, so I have hundreds of alarms reminding me of every tiny thing. So if I put a load of washing in the machine -> Alarm for in however much time it takes to finish, so I don’t forget to take it out. Have a lecture -> Alarm early enough, so I have time to get my stuff ready, do whatever needs to be done and leave on time Just remembered something that I can’t deal with rn -> Alarm for when I’ll get home to remind me of said thing

For me all of this allows me to not have to constantly anxiously think of things I might have forgotten and end up forgetting half of it anyways.

For the unfulfilled potential part, I really struggle with that a lot as well, I feel you on that one. I haven’t really figured that one out yet.

I hope this helps a little

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u/Happy_Newspaper2013 3h ago

thank you, I appreciate your advice a lot

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u/pantygarten 18h ago

This isn’t exactly what helps, but this is something I’ve noticed: ever since my partner passed I’ve been more forgetful than ever. I’m sure grief plays a part but what it made me realize is that it helps to have people in our life that are a regular presence bc they sort of keep us tethered and accountable. Just the consistency of a person/people being there day after day can help us stay on track & helps give a sort of continuity & direction. Not sure if you have a close friend who you can check in with every day to just sort of reflect back to you who you are & what you’re doing. Not sure if that made sense.

I also have white boards with wet erase markers on a leash attached to them. Not huge ones but just one that I can brainstorm and figure out my plan for tomorrow, one that the final daily plan goes on, a schedule one. Wet erase is important for me bc otherwise i lose my writing. I also like saving big pieces of packing paper and using them to have a weekly ongoing brain dump/brain map. I keep it in the wall with a pencil/pen like a mad scientist. This just helps my brain remember yesterday and keep building on it.

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u/oldart1127 16h ago

Sorry for your loss. I lost my husband and I have not figured out what is missing but you are correct. I could always run things by him and he’d help navigate

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u/pantygarten 13h ago

im so sorry you’re going thru this too. Our compasses 😭

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u/PeteZaDestroyer 19h ago

Avoidance lol

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u/Ashitaka1013 14h ago

Most people will recommend putting stuff in a calendar on your phone with alerts but I ignore alerts and immediately put them out of my mind and will rarely think to check the calendar on my phone. I still use it but I find it essential to also have a physical wall calendar in my bathroom where I’ll see it several times a day. Allows me to constantly see what’s coming up, which not only helps me remember appointments and engagements but also relieves my “What’s next? What am I forgetting about?” Anxiety.

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u/StatisticianOk5811 8h ago

I’m using a daily page by brain dump. It’s helpful right now. Also I do put my appointments in my calendar immediately. Reminders 1week before -2 days before -1 day before - 1 hour before. Occasionally I still make mistakes.

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u/StatisticianOk5811 8h ago

I might be able to send it as a message. This sub won’t let me add it. I pulled it from the internet

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u/Silver-Blackberry-12 3h ago

For medicine, I am similar to you and got heart palpitations then anxiety on Ritalin so my doctor put me on a blood pressure medication that stops the physical symptoms. I went on Metoprolol Succinate and was able to continue on the Ritalin and now Concerta. The blood pressure pill made all the difference! I try to lean into my strengths. I make friends fast, I’m able to keep trying something relentlessly, and have always had a bunch of unearned hope. Plus, when the mood or need hits for cleaning, I can clean more than I think possible (sure, not the rest of the time though hahaha). I hope this helps some, I’m proud of you for trying to find new things and not give in! You are most certainly not alone!

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u/Happy_Newspaper2013 3h ago

thank you so much! I'm so glad you found the right thing that works for you