r/Advice • u/EarlyCharity22 • 1d ago
Hygiene
Hi guys I'm M23 and i just wanted some advice. I'll give u some backstory. I grew up in a neglectful home and wasn't taught any hygiene I have high functioning autism and getting into new routines is hard but not impossible and I wanna take care of my body. I'm embarrassed by how long it's taken me to ask but like what are the basics I know brushing teeth but how often am I supposed to bathe/shower and does that mean shampooing every time? How often do I shave just things like that sorry
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u/They_Are_Against 1d ago
Hello there! I grew up in a very neat household and while I am too lazy for this kind of standard myself, I hopefully can provide useful advice.
Your teeth should be brushed ideally twice a day for approximately 3 minutes. Use floss beforehand so you rid the in-between spaces of leftovers from your meal. Make sure you go in every possible corner and direction and softly move your toothbrush in circles. Imagine you had to clean a figurine or a cube: you need to cover every inch to eliminate bacteria. Rinse your mouth with clean water afterwards.
When it comes to your whole body, the needed frequency for showering might vary. Personally, I think you need to keep "dirty" places especially clean: genitalia, hands, face and every part that sweats a lot. I shower on a daily basis, but that's my preference. Others go with their body odor. Have you ever noticed such an odor on yourself? If not, maybe start by airing your place well. Keep all windows wide open for a minimum of 15 minutes twice a day to evacuate possible smells. If you've worn a piece but not thrown it into wash already, air that out as well. A chair or hanger will do. You could then smell it the next day to see if it still smells rather clean or has some odor to it. This might help you to develop an awareness for your own odor.
Shaving is probably a whole personal preference per se, but I know there are some really good YouTube tutorials for that.
And lastly, I think you should tend to your body and home like a friend: watch it, take care of it. Don't see it as a hassle, it often helps people to improve their self-esteem and is a necessity to maintain basic health.
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u/EarlyCharity22 1d ago
Thank you, especially for not treating me like an idiot
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u/prpldrank 22h ago
Hygiene routines aren't coded into our DNA. They're learned and it's such an intimate and personal thing.
My best advice would be to think of new hygiene routines/habits as a way to honor your body, and to love it -- to care for "the temple of the self." It can be very special and powerful to embrace caring for yourself every single day in these new little ways.
After you floss and brush, take a few moments to appreciate how it feels to have a clean mouth. Use a warm towel on your face before you shave, and, enjoy some nice smelling aftershave if you're into fragrances. Play some music during your routines (I listen to history podcasts) and carve time out -- it's your time for you.
You're not an idiot...you're learning self love.
Honestly, my Sunday morning personal hygiene routine is like spa day for me, in my own house. It's so cathartic and comforting. I look forward to it all week.
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u/Key_Tutor8727 15h ago
this is so sweet i love how you see a daily routine as something healing, it really is<3
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u/They_Are_Against 23h ago
You really aren't. It is only logical that we have to learn certain things at some point, be it as a child or as an adult. They don't all come naturally. Plus you're really not the first one to ask on reddit. :)
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u/ClottedCreamAndJam 22h ago
I would also like to advise the use of deodorant or antiperspirant. Sometimes we also become nose-blind to our own smells, where we can no longer smell ourselves and so we may think we're fine, but others might notice an odour from time to time. Usually, deodorant or antiperspirant will help hide the minor smells.
Deodorant/antiperspirant is not a replacement for regular showering though. More of a compliment to your hygiene routine.
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u/Velvety_MuppetKing 20h ago
Nah man, you’re not an idiot at all. This stuff isn’t always instinctual and how can you know if nobody taught you?
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u/CatchMeIfYouCan09 21h ago
Showering is subjective to you, your skin/ hair type/ your job, lifestyle choices, weight etc etc etc.
I'm not super active, I'm average weight. I clean my under carriage/ pits/face daily. Body shower 2-3 ish times a week. Wash my hair? One a week.
If I'm back at the gym (currently not) or having an active lifestyle; out in the heat etc etc... then it's a daily shower. But I may still only wash my hair 1-2/week.
If you want healthy hair it's recommended you only wash it once a week; but there are 5 ish steps. Shampoo once and rinse; shampoo 2nd time and let it set a few min then rinse; conditioner, let it set a few min then rinse; when you get out you apply leave in conditioner. If you're using heat like a blow dryer, then next you add a heat protectant; last step is hair oil or serum......I don't use the last step and don't use heat on my hair. But my hair gets 6-8 inches a year and grows in very very healthy.
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u/squattybody1988 22h ago edited 22h ago
He gave really sound and usful advice. His instructions were on par. I'm glad that you are taking this advice to heart. I'll make a few more points that he missed.
If you aren't sure what smells bad and what doesn't, as far as body odor is concerned, just imagine something that you don't like the smell of, and liken that to body odor. For instance, my husband doesn't realize when he smells because he doesn't have a sense of smell, and when he starts to smell, it smells like rotting onions to me...don't ask me why, but that's what it smells like to me. I'll then have to tell him that he stinks.
Also I've noticed that I don't start to smell unless I haven't had a bath for about 3 days....it's a shorter time period in the summer than the winter because we are naturally less mobile in the winter, and it's hotter in the summer, so you'll sweat more. Since you are a man and have underarm hair, and men tend to sweat more than women for the most part, you'll have to be more cognizant of that.
Also, keep a package of wet wipes and spray-on cologne, like Axe body spray, handy in your glove box or backpack, just in case of a "stinky emergency" to mask body odor if you can't get home to take care of it.
Edit: added stinky emergency sentence, and separated paragraphs for ease of reading.
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u/SchemeSquare2152 12h ago
On behalf of most people in the world, please don't use Axe body spray, it smells vile. If you do have to use a body spray find something other than Axe and use it sparingly.
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u/squattybody1988 11h ago
Ha! Sorry! As a woman, I thought it smelled good!!! But you can use anything you like OP! Thanks for the heads up @SchemeSquare2152! You made my day! You had me 💀💀 at "vile"! Have an award
Edit: added sentence.
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u/SchemeSquare2152 11h ago
Thank you! I was concerned I would offend you. Glad I amused you instead.
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u/squattybody1988 10h ago
There's not much that offends me, but if I do get offended, I'll either ignore it, or explain why I'm offended... Like earlier today, I had a girl come after me because someone asked a question in AITAH, and there were a lot of people that said yes she was TAH. I never said that she was TAH in that specific response to her.... However this one chick came after me because she had clearly interpreted as the wife was being abused and my response to her, ACCORDING to the woman that came after me, was that I was basically calling the OP stupid for being in an abusive relationship. And I NEVER said that, but I also don't think she was in an abusive relationship either....MY OPINION was different than HER OPINION, and she just would not let it go.... OMG, I'm a fcking 54yo female who has been in a couple of abusive relationships before, and as far as I was concerned this was not that... but I told her that if she didn't like my opinion to stay in her lane, and mind her own business.... because by that time, I was done with her nonsense... I had to wind up blocking her because I believe she was one of those ones that absolutely has to have the last word, and I also believe that she had a very huge aversion/hatred towards men.... Not all men are bad, not all men are abusive, and not all men are liars.... The only thing that all men are, is lucky not to be in a committed relationship to that psycho. Except for maybe one...God I hope not. Even she didn't offend me... she just pissed me the fck off, because she was gonna die a bloody mess on her hill. And I didn't know that hateful witch even existed before today...
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u/squattybody1988 10h ago edited 10h ago
There's not much that offends me, but if I do get offended, I'll either ignore it, or explain why I'm offended... Like earlier today, I had a girl come after me because someone asked a question in AITAH, and there were a lot of people that said yes she was TAH. I never said that she was TAH in that specific response to her.... However this one chick came after me because she had clearly interpreted the post as the wife was being abused and my response to her, ACCORDING to the woman that came after me, was that I was basically calling the OP stupid for being in an abusive relationship.
I NEVER said that, but I also don't think she was in an abusive relationship either....MY OPINION was different than HER OPINION, and she just would not let it go.... OMG, I'm a f*cking 54yo female who has been in a couple of abusive relationships before, and as far as I was concerned this was not that... but I told her that if she didn't like my opinion to stay in her lane, and mind her own business.... because by that time, I was done with her nonsense...
I finally had to wind up blocking her because I believe she was one of those ones that absolutely has to have the last word, and I also believe that she had a very huge aversion/hatred towards men.... Not all men are bad, not all men are abusive, and not all men are liars.... The only thing that all men are, is lucky not to be in a committed relationship to that psycho. Except for maybe one...God I hope not.
Even she didn't offend me... she just pissed me the f*ck off, because she was gonna die a bloody mess on her hill, so I did the one thing that I knew would piss her off worse than anything, I didn't give her the opportunity to keep arguing with me. 🤣😂🤣
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u/Competitive-Cook9582 20h ago
Reading your post and the answers. If someone treated you badly for asking an honest question, I'd be PISSED! You're getting lots of good suggestions here, and the only thing I'd offer is to shower daily, making sure to clean every inch of your body.
Thank you for being brave enough to ask the question! And for making my day 💚
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u/ToothPickPirate 19h ago
You’re not an idiot. People come from different experiences and backgrounds. We all need help at some time or another with this or something else. You seem like a really nice and polite person. Be nice to yourself!! That goes a long way to personal satisfaction and overall happiness.
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u/krispeekream 18h ago
There’s no shame in not knowing something. It doesn’t mean you’re stupid, or deficient in some way, it just means you weren’t taught. It’s awesome that you asked!
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u/Welpmart 16h ago
To add to brushing, because I just learned this myself: try to angle your brush up towards your gums (there are picture guides online) to deal with bacteria buildup there. The tops of your teeth and gums matter.
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u/Parking_Garden_7311 19h ago
And about your towel - hang it up after every shower so that it can dry. Don’t use a towel for longer than one week, switching to a clean one every 3-4 days is even better if you can. If you dry yourself off with a funky smelly towel your body will pick up the funk.
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u/MsSpaceface 22h ago
First of all, no need to be embarrassed - asking for help is really cool of you!
Others have already given a lot of good advice, but I just want to add: don't forget about your nails. Keep them short and clean - this goes for fingers and toes, both. Keep a nail file (or your preferred alternative) handy and clean any dirt out as soon as you can, after noticing.
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u/Glade_Runner Expert Advice Giver [19] 1d ago edited 17h ago
These are good and important questions.
Generally speaking:
Brush your teeth each morning and again before bed. Floss at least once a day.
The best advice is to brush after every meal, but some people find this cumbersome and often don't brush after meals eaten away from home.Unless advised by a dentist, use a soft bristle brush and don't use too much pressure when brushing. Some toothpastes are more abrasive than others, so choose based on how delicate your teeth seem to be.Bath or shower once a day. If you do a strenuous workout or get especially dirty, take another shower. Change your towels at least once a week.
Shampoo frequency depends a lot on your hair type and how dirty your hair gets. Many people shampoo every day, but some people find this dries their hair too much so they just shampoo once or twice a week. Many people who only shampoo once or twice a week find that rinsing their hair with hot water on days they don't shampoo gets it sufficiently clean. Some people also use a conditioner after they shampoo, but other people never do this.
Shaving is dependent on what you want. If the desire is for the smoothest look and feel then you have to shave every day. In the past, men were expected to shave their faces every morning but stubble has become much more accepted in recent decades. Shaving below the neck is also up to individual preference, with some people shaving daily and others not shaving at all.
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u/EarlyCharity22 23h ago
Thank you so much
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u/double_96_Throwaway 20h ago
Also if your hair gets too dry from shampoo get some conditioner it moisturizes it
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u/ailimeDU 17h ago
This comments is great! I'd like to add some tips:
As for the towels, change your bed sheets once a week.
Depending on the country you're living in, if you've the economic possibility or a National Health Service that works, I'd recommend some yearly check up. I'm no health worker so that's some that came to mily mind: dentist (at least a teeth cleaning once a year could prevent further expensive problems), dermatologist especially if you've moles on your skin so you can check them. For others checks, please health workers of reddit, help!
Sorry, I like to list things, I'm asking with no judgement, are you living alone now? Also some lists about how to household management could help?
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u/Illustrious_Thanks34 17h ago
Sorry, but out of curiosity, I’d like to ask — in which part of the world is it recommended to brush your teeth after every meal?
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u/Glade_Runner Expert Advice Giver [19] 17h ago edited 17h ago
LOL, good question. I was remembering recommendations from 1960s rural Florida in the U.S., which is when and where I learned to brush my teeth. In that time and place, fluoride water treatment was not widespread and many poor children never saw a dentist at all. It was schoolteachers who then championed brushing after meal, and I repeated their lesson out of habit. I apologize for that.
To correct my error, I will share that the official advice in the U.S. is to brush twice a day for two minutes.
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u/Cerealandcats 23h ago edited 22h ago
Hey! So, I'll list a few things that might help. As a brazilian, our hygiene standards are a little higher than americans', but you decide what seems better for you:
Body hygiene:
• Brush your teeth after every meal (3 times a day average), and floss at least once a day. Go for a softer toothbrush, but brush thoroughly, and brush your tongue well too.
• Shower twice a day. Maybe in the morning and at night, giving special attention to areas like genitalia, armpits, ears and other places that you notice sweat a lot or accumulate dirt (like your bellybutton maybe).
•Shampooing depends on your hairtype, but I personally wash my hair every other day, I shampoo twice, then use conditioner, and only then do I use soap on my body, because conditioning your hair after washing your body will make you grow body pimples because of the oil.
• For skincare, you should wash your face twice a day with a face cleanser. You can watch basic skincare videos on youtube. And everything will depend on what type of skin you have.
• Remember to clean inside your ears, but not too deep to prevent hurting yourself. Nostrills too. And keep your nails and toenails well trimmed and clean.
• Shaving depends on personal preference. But you could also trim hair from areas like armpits and genitalia.
• Use deodorant
General hygiene:
• Change your towels at least once a week
• Change bedsheets either once a week or once every week and a half
• Change toothsbrushes every 2 to 3 months
• Search for how many uses of each piece of clothing is enough before you have to wash it
• There are nice checklists of house cleaning on pinterest that you could use to guide you
Hope that helped! And sorry for the long reply
Oh, and take it slow. I know it sounds like a lot, but that's because I wrote a lot of stuff that isn't everyday stuff too! You could try making checklists with everyday stuff, once a week stuff, once a month stuff, etc. At least that's what helps me. All the best!
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u/BonnieH1 21h ago
Well done for recognising you need help and asking for it.
I tried to find a good guide to hygiene for you, but most of what I found was aimed at people supporting someone with autism.
Here are a couple of articles from autistic people
https://autisticscienceperson.com/2021/07/19/autistic-hygiene/
Good luck with it! 🛀🏻🪥
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u/EarlyCharity22 21h ago
Thank you i really appreciate you looking for the guide
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u/BonnieH1 21h ago
You're welcome! I have an autistic friend and appreciate how challenging some things can be, especially if one's family doesn't really understand.
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u/LightWeightLola 21h ago
Good on you for asking! I’ll tell you the ideal and the bare minimum.
Shower: every day at least once is best. Morning or night is a preference or whether you do sports and exercise. The whole outside of the body body should be washed in the shower with a cloth or loofah and soap. They make gentle soap for your face.
If you can’t manage on some days, take a wash cloth and soap over the sink and get face, neck, underarms, private parts, and feet (in that order, because you know). It’s not good to do that all the time but it’s better than nothing.
Hair wash every other day is fine for most people. Your face should be washed twice a day over the sink though or at least before bed.
Hand wash: Always wash your hands after the bathroom and before you eat. Soap, rub between your fingers and around your nails for about as long as it takes to sing happy birthday in your head. If you’ve been touching things in public like door handles, use sanitizer or wash your hands more frequently.
Deodorant: every day. Unless you come from certain ethnic background that doesn’t produce underarm odour (mostly certain Asian groups).
Brush teeth: Every day, morning and night for at least 1-2 minutes. Brushing every main meal is better but most people don’t brush at work etc because it’s a bit frowned upon. Get a dental hygienist to show you technique and get a cleaning once a year at least. Experiment with electric or manual brush as to what you really like. Flossing once a day is ideal, but a couple times a week is better than nothing.
Nails: Clip your fingernails and toenails every two weeks at least. Some people need to clip fingernails once a week. Just to the point they don’t extend past the fingertips too much.
Washing clothes: Most of time, clothing cannot be worn for more than one day before washing. Jeans and trousers can usually be worn a couple times but it depends how much you perspire and what you’re doing in them. Things you wear over other things like jackets and sweaters can be washed less often. Clean underwear and socks should be worn every day.
Follow instructions on the label, but most things can be washed cold water on low spin cycle. Not everything can go in the dryer. It will say on the tag. Google laundry symbols and it will help you understand the labels. It’s easier to make a laundry schedule and put one load away at a time as soon as you can after it’s dry, but if it piles up, don’t panic.
That’s really all there is to it. Good luck!
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u/Ms_runs_with_cats 22h ago
High functioning Auhd here. Here's my hygiene habit goals, I take more care with my teeth because I've had issues so you can probably get away with less.
- brush my teeth after each meal if possible
- floss teeth at night, then brush my teeth, then mouth wash
- shower once a day, whatever time of day works best for you
- wash your genitals and arm pits in the shower since they're the parts that will tend towards the most stink. Wash your feet too if you find they're smelly
- wash your face in the shower
- shampoo and condition your hair either daily or every second day, you're basically looking to see if it's greasy or not. This does depend on your hair type, so you may need to do more research if you have curly hair
- change your underwear for a fresh pair every day, I usually do this after I shower
- I personally wear the same outfit all week without changing because I work from home so I don't see people much and I take comfort in the sameness of the clothes. What you're looking for is whether your clothes smell or are visibly dirty (food spills etc). For me Sundays are new outfit day, unless I've spilled something on myself.
- change and launder your bedsheets and towels once a week.
Also go slow. It'll take time to get these things into a functioning routine so be patient and honour your needs. If something is sensory hell try and find an alternative that works for you. Be kind with yourself 😊
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u/Illustrious_Thanks34 17h ago
Some great tips here! If I may give a little advice though — it’s not recommended to brush your teeth after every meal. It can wear down the enamel, and brushing twice a day is enough. There should also be at least a 30-minute gap between eating and brushing. And it’s best not to rinse your mouth after brushing, so the fluoride can stay and protect your teeth 🥰
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u/EarlyCharity22 21h ago
Thank you so much
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u/PeacockFascinator 20h ago
I would edit to say that you should wash everything with soap and warm water when you shower, not only when they are stinky.
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u/ALoudMeow Super Helper [6] 20h ago
I would say that ideally, you should wear a fresh clean shirt, underwear and socks every day, but unless you spill something on them, it’s ok to wear pants a few days before laundering them. People tend to wash their jeans less often because a lot of washing can cause that type of fabric to lose its shape and color. But if you want to wash them all the time, that’s ok too.
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u/Federal_Salary4658 22h ago
when it comes to brushing
lower part of your teeth get deep behind the gum line there
get it scrubbed and brushed pretty good you will thank me later
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u/Purlz1st 21h ago
A dental hygienist is an expert at teaching how to brush and floss. Do what they recommend to avoid high dental bills later in life.
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u/Federal_Salary4658 21h ago
I agree with that :) I should of prefaced it with that my bad. Thank you as well! Have a most excellent rest of your weekend 🙏 cheers and much respect
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u/of-have-bot 19h ago
👋 Hi there! I couldn’t help but notice you wrote "should of," "would of," or "could of." While it’s a common mistake, the correct phrase is actually "should have," "would have," or "could have." 😊... Think of it like this: "should’ve," "would’ve," and "could’ve" sound similar to "should of," "would of," and "could of," but the grammar police (and your English teacher) would prefer the former. 🚓✍️...Carry on with your excellent commenting! 🚀
"agree with that :) I should have prefaced"
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u/Fun-Explanation-8278 21h ago
You should shower or bathe daily, with shower gel or soap. This includes washing your genitals, hands, feet and everything throughly. Shampoo and condition your hair,
Brush your teeth. Floss. Mouthwash. Tongue scraper. Included.
Dry yourself with clean towels. Sleep in clean bedding which should be changed weekly.
Aim to shampoo your hair twice a week. Brush teeth morning and night. Clean clothes everyday. Anti perspirant deodorant after washing every time.
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u/katieintheozarks 22h ago
Best attracting sexual partners is important to you (especially women) I would suggest keeping your hands and fingernails immaculate (consider manicures every 3 months) and adopting a skin routine for your face.
Women love a well-groomed man.
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u/EarlyCharity22 22h ago
Thank you for the advice, women aren't in the cards for.me but my nails are atrocious. I'm a nervous nail biter and it's hard for me to stop I've thought about getting fake nails to help tho
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u/just_a_tired_flower 21h ago
I have the similar issues, what’s helped me a lot is putting on cuticle oil anytime I get the urge as a replacement habit!
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u/Christeenabean 23h ago
Great advice from everyone, but don't forget about fingernails! Clip your fingernails and toesnails once a week. Also, clean the outer edges and outer openings of the ears. Don't put q-tips inside your ears bc it pushes the goop back in. A drop of mineral oil every week should help.
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u/NotMyAltAccountToday 22h ago
Yes. I saw a video on YouTube where the patient had an incredible amount of earwax against their eardrum from the Q-tips (cotton buds). It took a expert 30 minutes to clean just one of their ears!
The doctor said never stick them into the ears. I don't use them and when I ask the doctor if there's any wax in my ears and they always say no.
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u/ItsMuchTooLateForIt 22h ago
I'm so so pleased you've received very helpful advice... and glad you asked the question too. I come from a similar background and received one tip from a neighbour which helped me keep my house clean my whole life. .. happy to share with you if needed... don't wanna assume otherwise. Also... more personal and not mentioned in the comments, is a need to clean under your foreskin (if present!), and if you are in a position of imminent sex, or plan on getting physically close to someone, there's a couple more steps to add to your regular routine. Again, happy to expand. All the best OP, and stay curious, it's an enormous advantage in getting through life.
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u/arrgeebee75 16h ago
This! Thank you for mentioning it. If you aren’t circumcised, spend a little time pulling the skin back and cleaning your penis properly. Your little soldier will thank you :)
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u/machinehead3413 21h ago
It’s awesome that you’re reached out to ask for help.
I can only repeat what a lot of others have said already.
Depending on the kind of work you do set a routine of showering at least once a day. If you work in a physically demanding job you may want to wait until after work so you don’t go to bed dirty.
Brush and floss twice a day. If you don’t like floss you can also buy rubber tipped toothpicks. They clean out in between and also gently massage your gums which is good for them.
Dentist every six months, regular checkups with a general practitioner. At least once a year, maybe twice.
Clean clothes everyday. I wear my jeans twice before switching to a clean pair but shirt, socks, underwear should be daily.
It really is great that you asked for help rather than suffering in silence and letting your health deteriorate. Be proud of that. It was probably difficult but you did it anyway. That’s not nothing.
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u/hoverton 21h ago edited 20h ago
M49 here. Probably on the spectrum, but never diagnosed. I’m going to be specific here. Brush and floss teeth at least once a day. Brushing twice is preferable, but it doesn’t always work out that way for me. I prefer Desert Essence floss with tea tree oil instead of normal waxed floss. Glides easier with no wax buildup. I also occasionally use a water pic/flosser. Shower at least once a day. I prefer to shower at night and in the morning I just wash my face and under my arms. Your routine may need to be different based on work. The face wash combo I prefer is a little bit of Dr. Woods Naturally Castile Soap (peppermint) and a partial pump of Desert Essence Thoroughly Clean Face Wash for Oily Skin. The Desert Essence is a liquid and I refill a foaming hand soap dispenser with it. I order mine through vitacost.com, but they should be in places like Whole Foods, Natural Grocers, etc. I also get my dental floss through vistacost. I shampoo at least once a week, but I will also do it if I’ve been in a crowded public space or some other situation where I got dirty/dusty (mowing or other outside work) or been around cigarette smoke. I used to shampoo everyday until I read somewhere that this was unnecessary. My facial hair grows very slowly and I work somewhere that is very casual, so I only shave once a week (normally Sunday night) as well as before any significant events like social gatherings (weddings or funerals), meetings at work, dentist/doctor visits, etc.
I tend to have allergic reactions to lots of deodorants, so I use one of those solid Crystal deodorant sticks which seems to work okay. I found a body spray that I like and don’t have a negative reaction to and I use just a touch of that as well when out in public.
Started using a bidet from rinseworks.com last year and that has been a hygiene game changer for me. It feels so much better than paper.
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u/EarlyCharity22 20h ago
Thank you it means a lot for genuinely helping
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u/hoverton 20h ago
You’re welcome! I work with someone who has poor hygiene and this topic is frequently on my mind. It is difficult to pick up if you were not raised with it.
Btw, flossing took several months of conscious effort before it became part of the routine.
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u/neverstoppedtrying 1d ago
Find some soap that you like, and shower every day. Find some shampoo that you like, and wash your hair every day. If you like being clean-shaven, you can do that every other day, or if you have a beard keep it trimmed at least once a week. Brush your teeth at least once a day and floss every day; some will tell you that you need to brush twice a day, but that’s something you can work up to. Make sure to put clean clothes on every day, and do your laundry often. Find some deodorant that you like and put it on after every shower. Make sure you have a clean towel after every shower, maybe use a towel two or three times before putting it into the laundry. Take it slow and it will become a routine overtime.
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u/Total-Improvement535 23h ago
A lot of these are person to person dependent but
Bathe/shower AT LEAST once a day, definitely at night before you go to bed if you’re just doing it once a day.
Hair washing depends on your hair and how oily it gets and how quickly it gets oily. I have long-ish hair so I wash it every other day, leaving it dry in the shower on non-wash days.
Shaving depends on how fast your facial and body hair grows and how you like to keep it. I trim my facial hair/beard once every other week or so as it doesn’t grow super fast. Body hair I shave/trim only when it gets to the point it bothers me since I’m not intimate often and don’t have anyone else’s preference to how I keep it.
Brush your teeth TWICE day, minimum. You should also be flossing and using mouthwash. Also, be sure to brush your tongue every time for at least 30 seconds.
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u/BathAcceptable1812 Helper [3] 22h ago
If you want to be a crisp clean good smelling guy, shower and wash your hair daily. Brush your teeth twice daily and see the dentist twice yearly. There you have it.
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u/SignificantElk7274 21h ago
Wipe your ass properly. I'll never understand how anyone can leave streaks in their underwear. Nasty shit. Either get a bidet or wetwipes.
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u/EarlyCharity22 21h ago
Thank you but as a gay man my ass is probably the one thing that's always been clean
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u/throwaway4739372 21h ago
I want to second the other comments by suggesting a waterflosser if you can afford one (mine was around $30) for the days you might not feel like regular flossing. I also have autism and have struggled with oral hygiene. Not so much because of a lack of knowledge, but motivation. If you ever feel unmotivated, it comes in handy. It's a bit quicker to use and feels better sensory-wise to me. You can also fill it with diluted mouthwash.
Other random things to note: If you use a loofah, you want to change it every few months as they can gather bacteria. If you have a detachable shower head, use it to REALLY wash anything the water isn't reaching much of otherwise (most parts below your abdomen). Make sure to clean out your ears, bottoms of your feet, and as much of your neck/back area as you can reach.
Optionally, you can keep a facewash near, or in the shower, and wash your face while you're showering, then moisturize using a facial moisturizer when you get out. If you'd like to moisturize the rest of your body too, it's best to use an unscented lotion as the scented kinds can irritate your skin. You'll feel extra fresh afterward.
Only shampoo if your hair is greasy/dirty or if you want to. Assuming you're showering every other day or every few days, I'd recommend doing it every time. If you tend to get greasy hair quickly like me, you can try double shampooing (shampoo, rinse, shampoo again, rinse).
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u/TreasureWench1622 21h ago
If flossing is a challenge, try the Floss - Stix you can buy. They come in bags, maybe 25 per bag. Easy to use! I shower every night so I go to sleep clean, that’s just my preference & change bedding & towels weekly. I always use deodorant too, apply to pits each morning. Wash hair when needed.
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u/Velvety_MuppetKing 20h ago edited 20h ago
Shower every day. You don’t have to shampoo your hair every shower, maybe just once every third shower, unless your work is really grungy or sweaty. But shower once a day with soap, and scrub your armpits, feet, genitals, and butt every shower with soap and some kind of scrubber like a loofah or a sponge. Wash and rinse the rest of your body with soapy water.
Brush your teeth ideally after every meal, if you can, but at least once a day, and floss once a day.
As for scents/deodorant/cologne that’s a personal preference but I would advise against anything but deodorant for every day use. Given the option, no scent is better than heavy obnoxious scents. Don’t use axe or other body sprays. It’s… tacky.
Wear clear underwear every day, and try to wear clean shirts and clothes daily. It’s not the end of the world if you wear jeans or shorts or skirts or pants more than once between laundry days as long as they’re not soiled and don’t smell. Do your laundry regularly.
Wash your sheets and pillowcases and (if you have one) duvet cover weekly. Ideally have more than one set of sheets so you can just put the other one on once in a while to keep them both fresh.
As for shaving that’s really a style preference, but if you want my advice as a bearded man, either shave or have a styled and maintained beard. Don’t just… not shave. I have a beard but I have hairdressing scissors and a beard trimmer that I use weekly to keep it tidy. Even if you’re gonna go full metalhead and have a huge ass bushy beard, it still needs trimming and edging occasionally. And if you have the extra money, go to a barber every now and then and get a full shave or beard trim! It feels great and it gives you a nice baseline facial style to keep to.
You got this buddy.
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u/Disastrous-Goals 20h ago
I have not gone through all messages but maybe no one has said this. Use disposable soft towels for your face, regular towels are usually to harsh and washing once per week is too dirty for a clean face.
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u/No-Explorer9254 20h ago
The above tips may feel overwhelming at first. Self care takes time to make a habit!! I’d say take it slow. Begin with daily showers and using soap everywhere. Brush teeth & scrub that tongue. Slowly incorporate things. It’ll be overwhelming if you do it all at once! Please don’t feel embarrassed. We are all here for you and want you to feel clean and comfortable! It takes so much strength to ask, and you did it! Be proud of yourself for taking care of Y O U! ❤️ sending you a big hug
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u/Vegetable-Floor-5510 20h ago
Floss, and brush twice a day for at least two minutes. Watch a YouTube video by a dentist to learn how to do those things properly. I like to use an alcohol free mouthwash before bed as well.
Shower once a day. Wash your entire body well once and the potentially stinky parts twice! You should wash your hair every 2-3 days. Some people can go longer, but a lot can't. Only you know how greasy your hair gets or how dry your scalp is. Make sure you really get the scalp well when you shampoo. Wash your face with a gentle, fragrance free cleaner.
Moisturize while your skin is still damp, especially your face. Always put deodorant on as soon as you dry off from the shower.
Wear sunscreen on your face every day. If you shower in the morning, you can use a moisturizing sunscreen instead of a regular moisturizer. You only need to wash your face once a day, before bed.
Hope this helps!
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u/preet_m4 20h ago
I was also same but here is what you can start with 1) Follow a skin care very minimal… facewash+ moisturizer. Start taking shower daily for like 2-3 months and then you can skip 1 day( but if you are meeting a girl then never. 2) Make a habit of washing/ changing bedsheet and pillow covers once in two weeks..but if you spending most of your time in bed then once in a week. 3) Start doing some workout and a balanced diet. Thats all you will see a very vast improvement in your self.
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u/LadyNajaGirl Helper [2] 19h ago
I can’t add anything to the good advice already given but I can commend you for reaching out and asking for help. That’s not easy to do and there’s no need to apologise. We all have to learn!
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u/GreenSpaniel 19h ago
I don't think I've seen this mentioned, so just adding it in - seems like most things are covered, but after a shower or bath, make sure to hang your towel up to dry out. Damp towels can get quite stinky and then when you dry yourself with them, it can detract from the washing you've just done. This is the towel you use to wash yourself with, and the floor towel that you use to stand on. Remember to wash these towels, and the one you use as a hand towel by the sink. Depends on how many you have and how often you use them, but maybe after 3 uses? This will vary between people, some wash their towels more, some less, but fresh towels are a lovely way to treat yourself. Also, if your towels are thin, buy yourself some new ones, good towels are important.
When you wash your clothes, make sure you take them out to dry within 24 hours or they will start to smell from the damp (you can do it straight away if you're organised, but often it's something people forget!).
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u/BABEEEESS 19h ago
Try to bathe at least once a day, morning or night whatever fits u - just a quick body shower. Yk, get in between da booty cheeks and make sure every crevice squeaky clean !! 😂 pls use soap. Doesn’t have to be any special soap. Shampoo as needed- everyone’s hair is different so I can’t tell you how many times a week but I usually just shampoo once my hair seems like it’s getting oily. I do this BEFORE it’s too late, so usually the night before it gets greasy. Shave as u want but maybe schedule a routine touch up so u don’t forget if u like to keep trimmed
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u/Early_Economy2068 18h ago
Brush teeth every day 3x a day, shower once a day (you can wash your hair every other day if you wish), make sure you are actually washing yourself in the shower, put on deodorant, and never wear dirty clothes especially if you are leaving the house
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u/Ok-Aside-2499 18h ago edited 18h ago
bathroom cleaning advice: wash your towels often as well! use for mybe 2-3 showers max and wash. good to have multiple towels. i hate when i go to somebody’s house and their towels smell all musty—then you are rubbing that horrible scent onto your body. also lie the towel flat to dry after you shower, that reduces the musty smell. also dont wash a ton of towels in one load. they wont clean properly and might smell musy afterwards.
edit: also if you have bath mat (like that you step on after you get out of the shower) wash that weekly! hang up to dry after if you can (on the tub ledge). it will get most wet and wet = mold, bad smell. scrub your shower weekly with a shower cleaner. you can use a toilet scrubber with a handle. thats easiest. (dont use the same one that you use on the toilet. i just find the handle useful for scrubbing the shower.)
also either wash or replace the shower liner often.
also my grown ass bf does this lmao. dont just spray yourself with with more deodorant when you got all sweaty and stink. we can tell you are covering it up. same goes with shirts. dont just spray the armpit with deodorant and wear it another day.
teeth: brush a little, then floss, then use mouthwash, then brush really well. not flossing with make your breath stink because all the food & bacteria. i always carry gum or mints. brush at least 2x a day. morning brushing is a must though!
if you have short white people hair (i mean the texture), wash everytime you shower. if you have textured curly hair, you might to learn other hygiene for that type of hair. id look on tiktok for that. its helpful for tutorials and stuff.
if you exercised at all that day or got sweaty, shower. always to try shower before bed if you are sweaty and gross, so your sheets and blankets dont stink and get dirty.
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u/DadBodBroseph 18h ago
Do you know any guy in real life you’d trust to walk through this stuff with you? It’d have to be a really awesome dude—he’d need to be patient, not judgmental, and teach stuff clearly. Reddit advice can be helpful, but in-person can go a long way
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u/Lipsiekins 18h ago
I'm AuDHD. I have had to learn to gaslight myself into creating a hygiene routine for myself. It's taken me years. I love my bed, it's my safe space, and I don't want others in it. In my head, I have to shower before bed "to get people off me" because I don't want them in my safe space. So I hope in the shower and wash head to toe. Nothing extreme (just a wash cloth once a week because i have eczema) and dove unscented sensitive skin beauty bar. I specifically use this because I have sensitive skin and it can be used all over, no special soaps needed. Both my derm and gyn recommended this bar of soap and it has been a game changer for me because my skin was part of the reason showering was so awful. Anyways hope this helps a bit. Best of luck!
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u/sylvanwhisper 18h ago
Very good advice on process here! I'd like to add it's okay not to do these things all at once right away. For new habits, I tend to choose one at a time.
It also helps to pair new habits with existing ones. For example ple, I was struggling to remember to charge my earbuds. So I teamed that with my afternoon meds. Now I almost never forget!
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u/ReadTheReddit69 18h ago edited 18h ago
I'm similar to you and also struggle with hygiene when I'm depressed or overwhelmed. Here is the minimum i strive to hit:
-brush teeth before leaving the house
-shower every other day (more often in the summer because sweaty). Showering consists of washing whole body with loofah and body wash and private areas with washcloth and gentle soap like baby soap
-shampoo and conditioner hair in shower every other day (my hair gets greasy - if yours doesn't you can probably get away with twice a week)
-deoderant the pits before dressing in the morning
-fresh clothes every day - jeans can be repeated but everything else has to be clean
When I'm able to put in more effort, I also:
-Wash my face with a cleanser stick and warm water
-shower more often
-brush teeth and floss before bed
-scrub soles of feet and in between toes in the shower with a foot brush and body wash
-use unscented moisturizer on my face, hands, and any noticeably dry spots
I try to wash towels and bed sheets every two weeks
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u/ExistingLab1866 18h ago
That's always depend on your body and what you're comfortable with. Most of people clean themself more them they should cause they love this feeling of cleaness. I dont know where you are on the globe but personnality but here we have a line to call nurse and you ask them what you want! They would give you information base on science in not publicity. I have discover so many thing! I love science.
Good luck with that new challenge.
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u/Consistent_Damage885 18h ago edited 17h ago
Shower at least twice a week, plus anytime you do any activity that makes you sweaty or you see or feel dirt or smell body odor. Wash your hair at least twice a week or if it feels greasy or gritty. In the shower, use soap in your armpits, groin, butt crack and any place that is visible dirty, has body odor, or has gotten sweaty.
Wash your hands thoroughly after every time you use the bathroom and before every meal. Wash your face every morning, and again every evening. Brush your hair and teeth at these times also.
Change bedding at least every few weeks.
Wash towels at least every few weeks.
Change to clean clothes after every shower. Do not re wear gym clothes before washing.
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u/broker098 17h ago
Wear deodorant and keep some in your car in case you ever forget or sweat a lot and need to freshen up. You might not be able to smell your stink but other people can.
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u/cleopatra4president 17h ago
All advice here is great, so I just want to add that you can google some personal hygiene and cleanliness checklists, and print your favorite one out to hang up as a reminder until it’s becomes routine! I did this as a young adult and it really helped discipline me and add structure to my day/week!
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u/NJrose20 17h ago
Shower every morning or evening. It shouldn't take long, five-ten minutes is enough.
Buy a big pack of wash cloths. Grab a washcloth and step under the hot water. Then squirt body wash (or rub bar soap) on the cloth. Start with your face, wash it then your ears(behind them too) and neck. Then gradually go down your body washing everything but your genitals and butt. Do your genitals next and your butt last. If your hair needs washing (at least three times a week) out a little shampoo on your hands, rub it in then rinse. Ditto with conditioner if needed. Then dry off and make sure to put on clean clothes or pj's when you're done. Put on deodorant if it's morning.
Use a clean washcloth every day and launder them in hot water with your towels.
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u/Fickle-Salamander-65 17h ago
Loads of good advice, try not to get overwhelmed. Shower every day, brush your teeth twice, fresh underwear daily, they’re the main things.
You’ll have to figure out your shaving routine based on what you like.
And if you want to know the secret to a thoroughly satisfying routine…brush your teeth in the shower. It’s amazing and I don’t know why.
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u/Magumashasha_ 16h ago
Hi I also have autism and I always struggled with brushing my teeth. I always hated that only some of my face was getting wet and it almost always makes me gag so while I grew up being consistent because my mom was making sure I was doing it, my habits got worse when I was on my own. But then I started doing it while I showered and that helped with the having only some of my face wet, and if I gag it’s ok because I’m in the shower if it becomes more than that. Same with clipping my nails. I know it uses more water but I would rather use more water than stop brushing my teeth
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u/sammyk84 16h ago
Ok I work in the dental industry so I will give you some tips.
First, go see a dentist. It is very likely you have years of buildup and this is causing bad breath, especially in the mornings, and sometimes your gums bleed while you're brushing. You MUST go see one and get that buildup removed, most likely a deep cleaning as well. It'll be painful but if you don't want to spend $100k when your teeth fall out, you will start taking care of your teeth.
Once your dentist journey is done, it's all about maintenance. I don't know how much crowding your teeth has but depending on it, you might need to floss twice a day but it's recommended to brush twice and day and floss once. You may also need to use a water flossed or electric brush.
Tips for brushing. Use toothpaste, doesnt matter what brand just get some on that brush. Angle the brush hairs so that they gently massage the gum and go from one side to the other. Then do the tops in the same manner, from one side to the other. Then angle the brush to do the same for the inside of your teeth, from one side to the other. Do this for both upper and lowers.
Flossing, it is recommended to use string floss. Take about your whole arms length. Go in between each tooth and move up and down NOT side to side. Again, push in and then move it up and down NOT side to side. Move the floss to a clean spot and do the next area.
Remeber, going to the dentist and getting that buildup removed and deep cleaned is important. Bad teeth hygiene can lead to or worsen such conditions as blood diseases, kidney issues, and even liver diseases. I'll be honest, it won't be cheap but for the love of all that's good DO NOT go to some corporate dentistry place, PLEASE find a local Dr, someone who cares about their patients. If you don't know any, find someone who has a great clean smile (crooked teeth are extremely common so look for clean) and ask what Dr they go to.
As all things, consistency is key but once you get the habit down, you will feel disgusted when you forget to brush and once you get to that point the bad breath and bleeding gums will have stopped and you will have a clean mouth. Good luck and godspeed.
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u/RadarFromAfar 16h ago
I just want you to know taking the step of posting this question is an act of self love and I’m excited for you! Once you get more practice at self care and hygiene you’ll see so many mental and emotional benefits, it becomes really fun and enjoyable.
As a high functioning neurodivergent person myself, I just went into research mode to find you a perfect YouTube video that actually explains not just what you need to do, but how, and with what kind of product, as well as how often. He mentions an electric toothbrush which honestly is great, but not imperative.
https://youtu.be/U-kKKZATK70?si=_FPbyhm4N11mwgns
Since you are on this journey of dialing a routine in, make sure to look up how to do things that are suggested when you aren’t sure what it looks like in action. For example, shaving can look like a totally different process for different people, and it can be overwhelming to pick which tools to use. That’s where YouTube is a magical place to learn and get ideas, as well as to make sure you are doing it properly.
This is where your list making skills come into action. As you research, make a list with each basic thing you need. Then look into the specifics of which version of that item to buy. So you might have body trimmer on there, then you find out which one would be the best for your needs based on budget and the type of hair you have. You can always search Reddit for discussions about the best men’s razors etc.
As far as specifics:
-Showering daily is a good practice and also helps ensure more frequent showers happen during times of burnout or mental health struggle times (if you are prone to those). If you are only showering once every 3 days when you feel good, that could easily drop to once a week when going through things that make self care more difficult. So every day, might drop to every 3 days if you are in the habit.
-Washing your privates doesn’t mean just swiping a soapy hand over it. It’s the one area other than your hair that will take the most time in the shower. Use your hand with soap moving in small circular movements starting with where your pubic hair begins, working all the way down to your scrotum. Make sure to pull back any skin that might prevent the soap and water from thoroughly cleaning (especially if uncircumcised) and use your fingers to get soap in between smaller creases. Once you have the front done, re soap your hand reach all the way to your scrotum from the back and work your way up with an up and down motion in between your cheeks. MAKE SURE to rub the soap directly onto your asshole and even slightly into the opening. I swear on my life, this is one thing that will make you feel truly CLEAN and like a million bucks when you get out of the shower.
-If you don’t have wet wipes after going number 2, get a thick wad of toilet paper and wet it in the sink to wipe yourself, then follow with a clean toilet paper to dry off
-Keeping your pubes trimmed with an electric trimmer also keeps sweat smells at bay and makes it easier to clean yourself in the shower
-When you wash your hair, use your nails to scratch/scrub the shampoo into your scalp to help deep clean. If you notice flakes/dandruff in your hair when it’s dry, get a shampoo with Tea Trea oil made for dandruff.
-Use a separate cleanser for your face if possible
-If you struggle with transitions or motivation to get in the shower, look into getting a shower stool…it’s a helpful thing for a lot of neurodivergent people because it doesn’t feel as overwhelming to shower for some when they can sit. Also, if you haven’t already joined support groups for autistic and AUDHD peeps, those are great places to get tips on hygiene and cheats on managing hygiene when you just can’t get yourself to do the full routine.
-If you skip brushing, or get up and snack after brushing and don’t want to re brush, use a gentle mouthwash like GuruNanda brand, the teeth whitening combo one is epic
-Wash behind your ears in the shower and occasionally do gentle q-tip in your ear to remove wax…don’t push it in too far or be super aggressive
-Wear a fresh pair of socks and underwear each day regardless if showering or not
-Use a deodorizing powder in your shoes if you have sweaty feet that are prone to smelling
I hope some of this was helpful!
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u/acnhat 16h ago
I was in the same boat. Heres my guidelines
Teeth. Brush once in the morning and once at night. Waterflossing once a day at night prevents bad breath and gets rid of food stuck between teeth. I put a cap of therabreath mouth wash in the water flosser with warm water and use a low setting. Any mouthwash works, I just like that one. Professional teeth cleaning one a year helps any built up stains and overall health if you can afford the fee. In general it is pretty affordable but ask upfront about pricing. The location I go to costs $125 for a visit
Hair. Shampoo once and rinse. Shampoo a second time and rinse if you have greasy hair. Only condition the ends if you have longer hair. If you have hair longer than five or so inches putting a tiny amount of argon oil on the ends makes it look and feel very healthy. The smell is also nice
Wash body with soap using either hands or a rag. If you use a rag wash it after each time in the shower to prevent fungal infections. Wash armpits for thirty seconds each to remove old product and clean any smell out. Wash belly button with soap and rinse. Wash between any cracks and anywhere there is a crease to prevent hard to reach build up. For face use a gentle soap and rinse. If pores are an issue use colder water than you use for your body. Many people use an anti dandruff shampoo as a face wash if there is trouble with acne. Just be sure to rinse well and be gentle when you scrub your face because the skin there is more sensitive
For shaving i would suggest a youtube tutorial.
Out of the shower pat yourself dry and apply a deodorant to dry armpits. If you want to get rid of or just trim the hair there that is up to you. It can help if you have particular trouble with smell but isnt necessary. Only do it if you prefer less hair under your armpits. Use a facial lotion to avoid dry skin. I like the cerave face lotion with sunscreen because it means i dont have to also use sunscreen. Apply to damp skin and pat gently until its no longer visible or damp
For clothes there are very good guides on youtube. Choose a detergent you like that works with the washer you have. If your clothes are particularly smelly you can either use a small amount of white vinegar on top of your normal detergent or you can use the non bleach sport clothes additive. I like the sport additive because it works well and gets rid of any mildew smell. Adding too much extra stuff will not clean the laundry better. Product build up can lead to mildew smell so just keep it simple
Good luck! There is no shame in not knowing how to be hygienic. Everyone starts somewhere. This is a huge industry for a reason. Just keep it simple and stick to a routine and it will be good. Dont let anyone sell you on unnecessary products just because youre learning
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u/Gold-Kaleidoscope537 16h ago
Full shower with hair wash every day.
Get face wash for your face. Not “soap” for your face.
Also trim your finger and toe nails. There are videos on YouTube
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u/Key_Tutor8727 15h ago
Keep it simple.
The comments have summed pretty much everything up but here's some additionals.
Mouth hygiene:
- brush twice daily (1-2 min each time)
- mouthwash (sometimes) otherwise chew gum/ use peppermints
- floss your teeth (use toothpicks and floss)
Body Hygiene:
most people don't know that other's CAN infact smell them. So, shower daily (at least for 4-5 min).
- wear deodrant AFTER you come out of the shower + (optional) wear cologne
- wash your pillowcase every week & bedsheets/ covers every 2-3 weeks (this depends on the person)
Now I'm a girl so idk about the shaving one, but I take everything showers every Friday. This basically involves a lengthy shower with multiple steps.
I use a loofah to scrub (not harshly) my skin and a massaging tool for my head. (it just makes it easier to clean any buildup).
Hair routine: (only use a small amount of each product)
- shampoo
- rinse
- shampoo again
- rinse
- -------------
- conditioner
- wait 5 min
- rinse thoroughly
last but not least, your bedroom. This still applies if you share one lol.
- keep food items in the kitchen, not the bedroom
- take out the trash
- organise your clothes and never throw dirty laundry back into the closet
- wipe surfaces every 3-4 weeks. remove any dust.
stick up post-it reminders on your bathroom mirror if you forget these things. maintain a routine. e.g you wash your hair every Tuesday and Friday evening.
Good luck! :)
also search up vids about men's hygiene on Youtube for additional tips.
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u/PastStructure7836 15h ago
Shower daily. If you have long hair or greasy/oily hair shampoo it every second shower. If not every third shower. If you have a beard, shampoo it every shower as beards can get very gross very quickly. Brush teeth twice a day every day with a good quality toothbrush and toothpaste. Wash your body with a sponge and soap or a loofah and shower gel/soap. Put deodorant on after every shower and the opposite twelve hours (if you shower at night, put it on the next morning AS WELL. If you shower in the mornings, put it on before bed AS WELL.)
Here's the gross one people will shy away from talking about: wash your dick. If you're uncircumcised, wash it fully and pull the skin back and clean it gently but completely. Same with your balls and your ass. People can and probably have smelled you in the past.
Scrub behind your ears. Wash your clothes regularly. Hoodies can be worn a couple of times, jeans 4 or 5 as long as you aren't sweating in them. But tshirts, underwear, socks etc should ALL be worn once.
Follow the advice about the bed sheets from another post.
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u/ReikiLadyDeb 14h ago
I’m going to add one thing that I haven’t seen here: antiperspirant/deodorant. Use it after every time you take a shower, or every morning. This will keep your pits from stinking. Look in the mirror while you apply it to your armpits to make sure you are putting it in the right place.
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u/Thetechguru_net 10h ago
Sometimes the show Mystery Science Theater 3000 would show short films before the main picture they were riffing. I saw one where the short was a hygiene basics film for boys from maybe the late 50's early 60's when schools felt it was their duty to fully prepare kids for adult life. Of course they riffed on it, and it was funny and we all laughed, but it actually had great advice for someone in your situation who did not learn these basics from their parents. I had good parents who taught me well, but I actually learned some tips to take better care of my finger and toe nails from it. Probably worth trying to find it or something similar.
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u/lilmaso420 7h ago
Bro I guess I have not been cleaning properly either. Should've known I also grew up in a home that wasn't nejecteful but I think both of my parents were nejected to. So they just didn't know either 🥲. Gotta get my own routine in order !
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u/AwkwardDuddlePucker 6h ago
There's so much good advice here - if you feel overwhelmed with all these 'new' things you could look at the app FINCH. It's a self-care pet that can help you to remember and build good habits.
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u/hiiad 6h ago
Hi, I kinda get where you are coming from. I have had to change a lot compared to how I was raised. I can recommend a book called "Atomic habits". It helps with breaking up changes into smaller tasks. I have many times felt like "I need to change this, and this, and this" but I try to do too much at once and it gets overwhelming and I end up giving up within a few weeks. In my experience, making a list of all the changes you want to make/things you want to do, and then focusing on one or two at a time, slowly building it up, till you feel like it's part of your routine, before adding a new thing, is really the ideal way to do it. I believe in you! You got it!
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u/CriticismPast6702 4h ago
Clean your arm pit hair(remove em) do the same for for pp as well and be careful when doing use some. Water and some. Soap work every time, take bath regularly clean your brush 2 times per day Wear new underwear and socks use some. Mints or gum keep a perfume with your self and use some. Deodorant
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u/em_850 3h ago edited 3h ago
Hi! Woman with male partner with lots of autistic/neurodivergent people in our family.
Brushing teeth: 2x daily, morning and night. If you forget sometimes it’s ok, just aim for this amount.
Showering: 1x daily if you are exercising daily, living in a bigger city, outside often or normal amount. Every other day is personally what I do but I also work from home and don’t go out often. I find men prefer a daily shower in the morning not sure why. Exfoliating scrub is good, I’d recommend using that once a week. Otherwise, regular body wash is fine.
Shampoo/conditioner: if your hair is straight, thinner, lighter, I’d recommend once a day. If you have dry, curlier or denser hair, every three days to once a week is ok. Always pair them together. If you need hair advice, I’d recommend asking people at ulta to help you find stuff for your hair type.
Deodorant: I do once a day in the morning.
Undergarments: change once a day
Sheets: if you can change them one a week, that’s great. Many people probably change them every 2.
Shaving: my partner shaves every week or so but he has a short beard. Up to you, but I’d at least check it once a week to see if it looks well kept.
Hair cuts: this is a big thing I think people miss on. A good haircut is a big one for men and can be a huge game changer for looking put together or not. If you have short hair, try getting it cleaned up once a month.
Cologne/body spray: unnecessary. My partner is extremely sensory sensitive and the other neurodivergent/autistic people in our family are as well. My partner gets complimented often for smelling fresh - good detergent, regular laundry with some light scent booster can go a long ways with just being bathed regularly without spraying on scent which can feel overwhelming/suffocating.
I would just once a day take a good look in the mirror and check to see if there’s any weird hair growth, messy hair, greasiness, etc. A lot of hygiene is learning to go off sight/smell. The more comfortable you can get with checking in on your body, the easier it is to take care of it. Not everything is a one size fits all!
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u/Lucky-Individual460 Helper [2] 22h ago
Good on you for asking. A shower every day and clean clothes every day. You can wear jeans/pants a few times before washing but shirts, underwear socks have to be clean every day. Wash hair at least twice per week. Wash towels at least weekly and sheets every 1-2 weeks. Brush teeth twice per day. Shave daily if you are going to a job. Sometimes my husband misses a day shaving and I don’t mind but a long beard is very unhygienic looking to me. If you want facial hair, keep the beard very short.
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u/machinehead3413 21h ago
This last part is incorrect. My beard is 3 fists long and it’s as clean as any other beard you’ll find. Shampoo and a little beard oil and I’m good to go.
Just because you don’t like something that doesn’t mean it’s not hygienic.
It took a lot for OP to ask. Don’t fuck his head up with this kind of nonsense.
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u/Lucky-Individual460 Helper [2] 21h ago
My response is only to help OP. I am proud of him for asking. My goal is to help him not have any barriers to success due to cleanliness/hygiene issues. Many businesses have rules about facial hair as many people find long beards unhygienic. It is up to OP what information will help him. But, it would be helpful to him if we could keep things positive and not attack each other.
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u/machinehead3413 16h ago
Well, your response said that a long beard was very unhygienic looking to you. You didn’t say anything about “many businesses”.
When a guy is asking about how to be better at keeping his hygiene up, I’m imagining a man who hasn’t shaved in a while and one of the first things he reads is you calling long beards unhygienic. I fail to see how that could be helpful or positive for him.
And to be clear, no one attacked you. I typed words that called you out for being too judgmental. Your response to him was out of line and you needed to be told.
Have a nice day.
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u/ItsMuchTooLateForIt 14h ago
Nah, you said a long beard is unhygienic to you. Then you get called out and widen the net... many businesses, many people.... you're not being real, and that's not helpful, nor showing pride. And you weren't attacked either, missed opportunity to show some grace and back down and apologise....
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u/SectorNo9652 20h ago
You serious?
You don’t need anyone to teach you anything if you’re capable of learning yourself.
This is coming from a disabled orphan.
I shower every other day n make sure I use things that make me smell good. Find your own routine.
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u/EarlyCharity22 19h ago
I completely understand where you're coming from however I just put forward the question because I thought maybe other people have been in a similar situation and can give tips on hygiene and how to break my regular routine.
Hygiene was never ingrained on me and living up the way I did it became unimportant I've grown up now and just moved into my fully own place and wanted to start fresh so I'm sorry if you felt offended by my post but there is no need for the negativity from me asking a simple question
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u/SectorNo9652 19h ago
Not offended at all?
I’m saying the best you can do is find a routine that works for you and your disabilities.
You’re an adult that knows his disabilities.
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u/EarlyCharity22 18h ago
Sorry I misunderstood
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u/ItsMuchTooLateForIt 14h ago
Just to clarify OP, you didn't misunderstand. That comment was aggressive for some reason, and derogatory. They may not use the word 'offended', but they wanted to put you down. Good job with your answer, calling them out with no confrontation and politely. I'm saying this only so you have a reason to trust how you feel in other situations.
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u/erimurxxx 23h ago
Change and wash your bedsheets about once a week too. You sweat during the night and if you're not showering daily, they will smell a bit.
No you don't have to shampoo your hair every time you wash, but that depends on how much you sweat during the day/ how oily your hair is.
Change your socks and underpants daily.
Brushing your teeth is important- it's recommended twice per day. But if you struggle with this, just make sure you brush them at night. Try chewing gum to keep your mouth fresh during the day.
Keep your nose hair trimmed so it's not poking out your nose.
Vaseline or chapstick for your lips to keep them moisturised.