r/AutisticPeeps • u/Pale4ngel Autistic • 3d ago
Art Autism Acceptance day in my perspective.
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u/Christsolider101 3d ago
Oh wow, I’m 26 years old almost turning 27 years old and it’s been an experience for me. To being misunderstood by teachers, some friends, some of my family members and even accused of things that are not true by doctors such as (never being able to talk for the rest of your life) or at times being a burden to my own family members (couldn’t at times handle my differences especially with me having severe language difficulties as a toddler, general developmental delay as a toddler and autistic traits as a toddler, all of which are still present in my life although it lessened over time). These caused me to blame myself, hate these conditions or even want nothing to do with these because they caused my life to be held back. I wished to be cured so much I even tried to pray them away several times in my childhood and teens but nothing happened. Upon finding lost medial reports of my self years later in my early 20s, I started to research more into them now encountering the word neurodiversity and trying to understand it. Now a few years later having learned enough about it, I simply just accepted my neurodivergence but still I have much to do when it comes to fully appreciating them as of now.
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u/Pale4ngel Autistic 3d ago
I'm sorry for your struggle and I hope you will find self-acceptance, you deserve it
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u/Christsolider101 3d ago
Thank you. I hope you accept that you’re not alone in this and you’re not less than a human being. There’s always something special about anyone even if they can’t see it. Your resilience is something to be proud of and I hope you continue to accept and make peace with your trauma as I am as well.
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u/Pale4ngel Autistic 3d ago
Thank you, your words are very meaningful for me
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u/Christsolider101 3d ago
Did you ever find out which kind of autism you had or related to (was it autism, Asperger’s, PDD NOS, CDD, PDA,etc) ?
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u/Pale4ngel Autistic 3d ago
In my diagnosis it didn't get specified. Just autism. Comorbid with depression (later re-diagnosed as a cyclothymic disorder), anxiety, social phobia, C-PTSD and DID
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u/Christsolider101 3d ago
Oh it was a little different to my time. I was diagnosed as a toddler (around 3 years old) in the early 2000s. The doctors said that I just had autistic traits but wasn’t diagnosed as autistic but I was diagnosed with language difficulties and general developmental delay as a toddler. Upon checking over time, this relates to more of PDD NOS (atypical autism subgroup because of my severe expressive and receptive language disorder).
Did you know if your autism was level 1, 2 or 3 ? Which level did you relate to most ?
I know for sure that my autism level would be or relate to other specified or level 2.
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u/Pale4ngel Autistic 3d ago
Ohh I understand. Thank you for your information. They gave me level 1 autism, even though other specialists said it was level 2. I relate to the second more.
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u/AgreeableServe8750 Autistic and RAD 3d ago
I love this. While you’re accepting that it’s something you live with, you’re also sharing that it’s not something you enjoy.
I think this is some beautiful art too
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u/Christsolider101 3d ago
How did you eventually accept them ? May I ask at what age ?
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u/Pale4ngel Autistic 3d ago
I accepted them when I got the diagnosis at 17, but at 13 and 15 psychologists and social workers were called by my school in order to make the tests, but it was COVID time so nothing was done. I had time to process the eventuality to be autistic. It didn't bother me because, diagnosis or no diagnosis is who I am, nothing change. I very much hate myself, but not because I'm autistic, but because I'm me.
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u/Christsolider101 3d ago
May I ask how old are you now ? And how are you coping with trying to see some of the positives of your autistic traits.
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u/Pale4ngel Autistic 3d ago
I'm now 20, almost 21. I'm not coping at all. A lot of attempts, hospitalization, meltdown, flashbacks... I don't see my autism as positive at all, it had a role in making me a victim of sexual violence for years, it makes me dependent to others. I can't bring myself to find good things in this.
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u/MrHorns7 3d ago
4th panel immediately makes this comic not relatable to me.
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u/Pale4ngel Autistic 3d ago
Why?
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u/MrHorns7 3d ago
I don’t have meltdowns and disrupt the peace of my friends.
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u/Pale4ngel Autistic 3d ago
I understand. Not every autistic person has meltdowns. In my case, I start collapsing to the floor, start screaming for the sensory issues and try to hurt myself. And it's often in public, because there I receive most of the stimulus. But I would never disrupt their peace voluntarily.
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u/Mediocre-Side-9522 3d ago
I have autism too celebrating my autism was cool. it was also my moms birthday yesterday 9n autism acceptance day so I ate mexican food to celebrate her birthday and my autism. you are very special. God made you for a reason. God bless ur autism, pale
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u/Christsolider101 1d ago
I just wanted to say, the art is very beautiful, cool and fitting. Very illustrative and abstract? Like a storybook character kind of drawing.
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3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Pale4ngel Autistic 3d ago
I have no benefits in having a disorder, or it would be called like this, a disorder. I have no positives to look in. Creativity? Open mind? They don't come with autism, even a neurotypical can have it's not exclusive to autism. My life is indeed miserable. Lots of attempts, comorbid disorders, sexual trauma caused in part by the fact that my autism prevented me from understanding the signs. I'm very dependent for basic care, I'm not proud to be a burden for others, even if I try with all myself to be a positive influence and alleviate their suffering. If you can't relate, I understand. But this is MY personal experience.
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u/AutisticPeeps-ModTeam 3d ago
This was removed for breaking Rule 6: Be respectful towards others and don't start fights.
The OP shared how they are affected by there Autism, it’s great that you can see positives about it in yourself personally, but most of us do only really see our Autism as a burden, mainly because it’s only really negatively affects us, please respect their views on their own autism, what they shared is their personal experience.
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3d ago
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u/asdmdawg Level 1 Autistic 3d ago
No, I didn’t invalidate them. I said you can have struggles while also not seeing only the negative. Read it again.
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u/Christsolider101 3d ago
That’s a very important point in regards to myself. Learning how to accept the positives of my autistic traits. But it’s a long process and it’s difficult. It’s better being safe than sorry.
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u/Christsolider101 3d ago
For someone like myself who accepts the good and the bad parts of my autistic traits but finds it hard to like it fully, what do I do ?