r/BG3 Mar 03 '25

Meme What's my build you ask? It's New Jersey Dad

Post image
14.2k Upvotes

154 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/MrBwnrrific Mar 03 '25

“Y’know what, Shadowheart? Who’s Shar, huh? Some shadow lady just made out of night or whatever, living in the sky so she can boss me around, tell me I ain’t allowed to touch myself that way ‘cause it don’t please her. Masturbation is specifically designed to please me! No one’s getting hurt except the wildebeest. Yeah. I give him a name.”

93

u/SeverusVape Mar 03 '25

Baldur's Gate Paradise baby!

29

u/The_Powers Mar 03 '25

"I want my name to be Spaghetti"

13

u/Intelligent_Deer974 Mar 04 '25

Tonight....you.

9

u/The_Powers Mar 04 '25

Heheheh, what you think he means "tonight, you"? It's like he's, err, threatening me or something.

5

u/Intelligent_Deer974 Mar 04 '25

You uh, bastin that turkey today?

3

u/The_Powers Mar 04 '25

Yeah I said you could use it, but that doesn't mean "Here, turn it into a dog laboratory!".

476

u/DieselYVR Mar 03 '25

"Look, SOMEONE has to make sure that you wacky group of crazy kids get something to eat! I'll cook something up over the fire. You kids just have fun with your adventuring and your flirting and all the silly little quests you go on!"

145

u/2ndratefirefighter Mar 03 '25

The Gourmet from Skyrim? very nice

1

u/DarkestNight909 Mar 05 '25

DO NOT QUESTION THE GOURMET!

44

u/Irons_idk Mar 03 '25

There's no cooking mechanic in the game tho :(

61

u/RepentantCactus Mar 03 '25

Doesn't stop my party from solely consuming bread, cheese and wine. Every dinner is girl dinner in this party.

30

u/DieselYVR Mar 03 '25

Someone still has to find the food!

22

u/TheMeerkatLobbyist Mar 03 '25

Finally we know who prepared all the dwarfen meat in the goblin camp!

4

u/Anxious_Katz Mar 03 '25

Senshiiiiiii!!!!❤️❤️❤️

2

u/angrytomato98 Mar 04 '25

BG3/5e needs a chef class lol

3

u/DieselYVR Mar 04 '25

There is a chef feat in 5e. :)

454

u/lolth-sworn-drow Mar 03 '25

135

u/AccomplishedBig7666 Mar 03 '25

I swear the reactions in comment sections make me cackle so hard lol.

26

u/Disastrous_Ad1060 Mar 03 '25

Somebody please make a version of this with Raphael, I want the devil himself to be the victim

12

u/EternalMonsterfucker Druid Mar 04 '25

I didn't make it, but here you go.

16

u/Inquisitor_Boron Mar 03 '25

Cursed to put my hands on memes

5

u/The_DapperCat Mar 05 '25

Is that... a meme? ...No. Nevermind.

137

u/otte_rthe_viewer Paladin Mar 03 '25

This is why I love dwarves

60

u/HeavySweetness Mar 03 '25

My dwarf barbarian playthru is literally my self insert playthru for this very reason. Especially the parts where you yell at strangers in dialogue for being mean to one of the kids/pets. (Barbarian intimidation roles are hilarious how have I put 600 hours into this game and not done this before)

20

u/otte_rthe_viewer Paladin Mar 03 '25

When dad didn't get his can of beer for the day.

11

u/HeavySweetness Mar 03 '25

Even worse: when I haven’t had coffee yet and someone’s acting the fool.

6

u/otte_rthe_viewer Paladin Mar 03 '25

Now why do I find this so damn accurate

1

u/chet_brosley Mar 06 '25

I played a dwarf monk/bard specifically so I could sass people and then punch them in the face as hard as possible.

8

u/x36_ Mar 03 '25

valid

18

u/otte_rthe_viewer Paladin Mar 03 '25

Because no matter what. Male dwarves look like the average father

17

u/TheWither129 Mar 03 '25

I literally made a dwarf guardian that looked like my dad

My actual real-life father

Hes not dwarf-shaped, hes normal guy sized, but it looked like my dad as a dwarf

4

u/otte_rthe_viewer Paladin Mar 03 '25

I did the same thing but as a tribute to my grand dad

106

u/Xyyzx Mar 03 '25

It’s just such a shame there isn’t a good gruff voice. You’d only really need one and you could probably cover Dwarves, Half-Orcs and any large burly Barbarian types…

…as someone with a fairly deep voice and a lot of recording equipment I’ve been considering trying my hand at recording a couple of voice packs, but I need to dig into the details and find out exactly how much player dialogue there actually is. I guess you’ve got a set of generic Tav lines, the Durge versions, ability dialogue, a set of location-based reaction lines and then that one little monologue from the shapeshifter later on… For a theoretically ‘silent protagonist’ it’s more than you’d think.

30

u/Caverjen Mar 03 '25

I hope you or someone else makes a deeper voice mod. My 2nd playthrough was a half-orc barbarian, and it broke my immersion that he sounded so posh.

14

u/Creativered4 Barbarian Mar 03 '25

Actually I think I saw one on nexusmods. I believe it was something like "deeper voice for durge" or "deeper dragonborn voice" . I don't remember exactly what it was called, just that I found it while looking for mods for my durge dragonborn run.

4

u/Caverjen Mar 03 '25

Ooh I'll look for that when I do my next durge run, thank you!

79

u/Mr_Stach Mar 03 '25

J. Jonah reporting in

44

u/LewdSkitty Mar 03 '25

I need pictures of Drider-Man!

9

u/Ill_Reality_717 Mar 03 '25

This is perfection, send this to the top!

3

u/SquarePegIX Mar 04 '25

The Onion Knight?!

54

u/Stop_Hitting_Me Mar 03 '25

In a four player run, I once made a Dwarf dad life cleric and everyone else made slightly edgy lesbians.

Dwarf dad didn't always understand his new adoptive daughters, but they needed to get to hot topic. And damnit, he was going to make sure they got there.

16

u/Costati Mar 03 '25

Were the lesbians fighting over Lae'Zel, Karlach or both ?

21

u/Stop_Hitting_Me Mar 03 '25

They were actually very calm and reasonable about who romanced who! Discussed it calmly like theyre at a round table. Quite civilized.

8

u/Costati Mar 03 '25

Awwh we love to see it lol.

119

u/PitifulMagazine9507 Mar 03 '25

So half of his work is slapping Astarion every time he talks?

21

u/THE_F0REVER_MAN Mar 03 '25

This is just Carl.

5

u/NJNeal17 Mar 04 '25

Hot Carl.

18

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '25

Only thing missing is a “[Gruff Dad] What!? No. I’m old enough to be your father, you horny little freak” rebuff line that you can use over and over.

(And if you use it enough times, you get an Accomplishment.)

1

u/Mouton-Muet Druid Mar 06 '25

Saying that to Halsin or Minthara would really fucking funny 🤣

2

u/stavs6 Mar 06 '25

Astarion is also over 100. Throwing the embodiment of dad to the dastardly crew of daddy/mommy issues isn't going to go the way you were hoping

110

u/Arimeris Mar 03 '25

I hope larian will give us face sliders before they move on from BG3, the game is near perfect in my opinion but only having a handful of fixed faces for each race kinda sucks

131

u/Xyyzx Mar 03 '25 edited Mar 03 '25

It’s not going to happen. Larian made a specific choice to limit face geometry in order to allow a wider and more realistic set of facial expressions.

You can actually go look at the alternative in Dragon Age Veilguard; they gave players a bunch of sliders so you can make your character look exactly like you want. …but now you have the NPCs showing off motion-captured realistic emoting, while the highly customised Veilguard PC looks great in stills but acts like a cross between an animatronic waxwork and a past their prime Hollywood actor who had way too much Botox.

22

u/Arimeris Mar 03 '25

Interesting, I didn't know that. Quite a few people here suggested mods, how do these mods deal with that? Do they lean into the jankiness?

5

u/R-Sanchez137 Mar 03 '25

I play on xbox, so mods are limited compared to PC, but we still got a decent amount.. there are some new faces in there you can try out, a good chunk of them are just NPC/companion faces unlocked for the player, but there are completely new ones too and they seem to work exactly the same as any of the vanilla ones in cutscenes/dialouge.

I mean it's not like your character is talking tho, so there's not much there to be jank, if that makes sense.

13

u/MistakeLopsided8366 Mar 03 '25

Veilguard's facial animations are sooo much better than BG3 when it comes to the MC. In BG3 my tav makes some really dopey looking faces, the grins and grimaces all look just a bit off. Whereas Rook genuinely feels like they fit perfectly. All of the expressions look and feel natural, certainly more than bg3. It was one of the things that struck me the most about the game, they nailed so many small details in veilguard that people overlook because of the overall commentary on the game to be to shit on it for any and all reasons.

14

u/Reysona Mar 03 '25

I will never miss the opportunity to knock on the Veilguard for what it should be knocked for.

I finished the game and lost count of the very awkward Rook head nods, jilted arm movements, and randomly exagerated eyebrow raises throughout the game. The beard physics were nice, though.

6

u/MistakeLopsided8366 Mar 03 '25

I'm not saying the expressions are perfect, but holding up BG3 as being better than veliguard is just nonsense. Maybe it depends on what you make in the character creator though. My designs may work better with veilguard's facial motions than bg3 and vice versa for someone else. My, subjective, experience was that veilguard was the far better experience. Purely in terms of the facial animations. Not discussing any other aspects here.

7

u/CherryZer0 Mar 03 '25

Agreed, they're just different, not really better or worse, at least for Tav/Rook.
My favorite Veilguard character.... ended up being my conventionally attractive Grey Warden British Man Rook, because the VA is great, and the facial expressions were harmonious.

4

u/Reysona Mar 03 '25

That's fair enough.

I played as a Qunari rogue with a big billy goat beard and bushy eyebrows, but I don't necessarily think the design was the root cause as I found Bellara and Neve to also have somewhat awkward facial expressions.

In contrast, I can recall the BG3 characters having fairly natural looking emotes — especially Shadowheart and Astarion. My issues with the expressions in Veilguard weren't as noticeable with Emmerich or Lucian since they had more stylized designs.

3

u/MistakeLopsided8366 Mar 03 '25

The companions were much better overall for both games yes. They obviously were able to fine tune the animations to fit a predetermined face model better than the adaptive ones used for player created ones.

I will argue that Emmerich, by far had the most dead, expressionless face out of all of the characters.. but then.. I did convince him to become a Lich...

8

u/Leaf-01 Mar 03 '25

Mods

-17

u/Arimeris Mar 03 '25

In my opinion I should not need mods to customize faces in a 2 year old 60€ role playing game

16

u/Leaf-01 Mar 03 '25

Well too bad? Idk what to tell you, the game has an obscene amount of care put into it that directly translates to the player experience, and there’s a solution sitting right in front of you. If that’s not good enough for you then it’s a you problem.

-9

u/Arimeris Mar 03 '25

It's less of a problem and more of a hope or wish of mine that larian will give us face sliders at some point

15

u/jh55305 Mar 03 '25

The devs put work into implementing a mod menu that's incredibly easy to use within the game itself, that's thought that not many devs do.

-5

u/Arimeris Mar 03 '25

I completely agree, mods are great, I just think character customization is one of the most important aspects of a role playing game and I just think the customizability of the faces feels strangely lacking compared to the vast amount of detail and care of the rest of the game and I just have the hope that larian will give us something official, that's all

2

u/Irons_idk Mar 03 '25

That's your opinion

3

u/Arimeris Mar 03 '25

That's... what I said...

1

u/TunakTun633 Mar 03 '25

The mods can be added in game. Is that really worth a complaint?

3

u/Arimeris Mar 03 '25

I simply wanted to express my wish and hope that larian will give us official face sliders

14

u/Safe-Ad1933 Mar 03 '25

It's me Mario

10

u/TrialByFireAnts Mar 03 '25

"Whyd you paint flames on the grove?"

"So it looks like it's tearin' ass across faerun but it's just sittin' there!"

9

u/Kaleph4 Mar 03 '25

from taxi driver to dark urge: dad has been reincarnated

7

u/Thebirdsarecumin Mar 03 '25

Jokes on you my dad has less hair

6

u/da_chan Mar 03 '25

Is it ok to post the link to the original? The rest of the post is so good, it would be a crime to omit it!

https://www.tumblr.com/hughmunculus/727100377576718336/im-going-to-play-dark-urge-im-going-to-play-a?source=share

7

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '25

Abuela is here because the party is too skinny and needs to eat better

4

u/MisterJWalk Mar 03 '25

I did the same. He was a halfing bard named Daaad. It was a fun run.

3

u/2Hanks Mar 03 '25

This is my wife’s dad

4

u/usernamescifi Mar 03 '25

is your wife's family from new jersey?

4

u/theBonesae Mar 03 '25

Balnor. Loves a good tuna sandwich

1

u/Glad-Dealer8432 Mar 04 '25

And a bud heavy ;)

1

u/theBonesae Mar 04 '25

............chicken

3

u/Angelharpoon24 Mar 04 '25

Alright, Imma make a Danny DeVito Durge.

1

u/not_REAL_Kanye_West 29d ago

Devito is a dad from Jersey so its pretty much the same thing.

3

u/Smutt_Wizard Mar 03 '25

Tom Hanks but squished

3

u/Cloud9shit Mar 03 '25

Why do I hear Ron Swanson?

5

u/Kettle_Whistle_ Mar 03 '25

See, I think what you heard was “bring me a lot of bacon,” when what I said was “bring me ALL the bacon.”

3

u/jtskywalker Mar 03 '25

I am playing Senshi from delicious in dungeon. Similar vibe, bigger beard.

3

u/superscuba23 Mar 03 '25

Welcome to dungeons and daddies, not a bdsm podcast, a story about 4 dads from our world flung into the forgotten realms looking for their lost sons.

2

u/Rinf_ Mar 03 '25

You havent met my Albino Duergar: Master Gelt Pang. Open (Ring)Hand monk, divorcee and constantly bitching abt his exwife Francine. Ine of my most fun coops with voice ever :D

2

u/catsandparrots Mar 03 '25

Excellent, I have a vengeance paladin/swordbard divorcee named Totally Lying, let’s get them wine and let them complain together

2

u/theTinyRogue Mar 03 '25

This is hysterical 😂😂😂

2

u/memo689 Mar 03 '25

Looks like Mario from the first Mario movie from the 90's

2

u/SourDewd Mar 04 '25

I made a dwarf with maxed out age and made him not exactly attractive. Kinda ugly but strong. And my wife made a gorgeous feminine asian elf and HATED seeing my ugly dwarf (who was also a monk and used no weapons like a peasant)

2

u/le_zucc Mar 04 '25

He better have that maxed-out dad strength.

2

u/Poppyseed1994 Mar 04 '25

OK HEAR ME OUT

1

u/AccomplishedBig7666 Mar 04 '25

Come on man....r u Astarion?

4

u/Techn0-Viking Mar 03 '25

Bro, I'm from NJ, and that looks like my dad! He looks like 95% of dads here!!

Oh, gods above, I pray I don't look like that in 40 years...

1

u/DapperJackal96 Mar 03 '25

Hey how did you get this picture of my dad?! Seriously looks just like him without his glasses

1

u/Less_Party Mar 03 '25

Bro’s like 2 slider notches away from Bob Hoskins as Mario too

1

u/Nefarious_Nemesis Mar 03 '25

They made Balnor the Brave from NADDPOD before he went gray and got yoinked into Bahumia.

1

u/Abayon3 Mar 03 '25

The bright hair colored balding short king is unironically one of my favorites. This is Han, my solo tactician gnome

1

u/Reggaeton_Historian Mar 03 '25

NJ dad calls you stunad if you pronounce it mozzarella instead of muzzarellllll

1

u/Trexep92 Mar 03 '25

Looks like Bob Hoskins in the live action Mario Bros. movie from 1993.

1

u/jenovalife1 Mar 03 '25

That's just Mario

1

u/skyejedi27 Mar 03 '25

Horniest guy there for sure

1

u/NZsupremacist Mar 03 '25

Ohhh, nice stache there, Tone.

1

u/drhko Mar 03 '25

He looks like my grandpa

1

u/OnionPastor Mar 03 '25

That’s how I build my characters lmfao no way I’m playing a hot gnome or halfling

1

u/whyreadthis2035 Mar 03 '25

Welcome to Baldur’s Gate. Now go home.

1

u/DestyTalrayneNova Mar 03 '25

Is it bad I just thought "upset Mario" when I first saw the picture before I read the text?

1

u/Juls_Santana Mar 03 '25

Ya gotta name him Mario Luigi. Ya just have to.

1

u/ub3r_n3rd78 Mar 03 '25

He looks like he’s going to yell at you for thinking about touching that thermostat one more time…

1

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '25

Its pronounced Brutananadilwesky!

1

u/ProfXavier89 Mar 03 '25

Repost booooooo

1

u/Coeusthelost Mar 04 '25

Okay now I want Ron Swanson as an mc of bg3

1

u/mshortsleeve Mar 04 '25

He looks so disappointed in me.

1

u/MARUSHI-rdt Mar 04 '25

And the OP also made a continuation of this, with the Dream Guardian as Your Mom

1

u/Mercerskye Mar 04 '25

This looks very similar to my attempt at Mario. Luigi was a little easier

1

u/LocalPsychological47 Mar 04 '25

Astarion approves.

1

u/VIII-Via Mar 04 '25

He is still hot tho 👀

1

u/elcouto Mar 04 '25

Look, I did my own research on that tadpole thing, and ivermectin will take it out. No magic of yours is gonna enter my body.

1

u/Glass-Airport-5158 Mar 04 '25

It looks like Haj Tuqtay baba, ancestor of the turks

1

u/DontCareBear36 Mar 04 '25

Tom Selleck would be proud of that mustache

1

u/livxdingle Mar 04 '25

Better yet, New Jersey Dad IS the Dark Urge.

1

u/sybban Mar 04 '25

That’s Mario Mario

1

u/myporn-alt Mar 04 '25

Ok, as soon as the new build is out THIS is my new playthrough.

1

u/livvyspeaks Mar 04 '25

I showed this to my husband, and he pointed out that this looks exactly like MY dad lmao not from New Jersey, but I grew up in New England so close enough

1

u/Intelligent_Deer974 Mar 04 '25

Do ya think you can back that up?

1

u/LSpace101 Mar 05 '25

I call that the "Nick Offerman" face.

1

u/Traditional_Joke6874 Mar 05 '25

Second time today I've hurt myself laughing at a BG reddit. Well played. 🤕🤣

1

u/A_Fossilized_Skull Mar 05 '25

Looks like he's two beers away from cirrhosis of the liver. And from the tone of that post I'm guessing he'd turn down magical treatment.

1

u/knighthawk82 Mar 05 '25

Warhammer eagle barbarian, let's go Mario!

1

u/b3sties Mar 05 '25

Waste Management?

1

u/DoubleDoube Mar 06 '25

I themed my first character (a warlock) with the backstory of being a circus ringmaster and I didn’t realize how prefect it was going to be.

1

u/New-Chemical4437 29d ago

That's Bob Hoskins as Mario

1

u/Any-Pipe-3196 29d ago

honestly, I don't hate this, and its more real-world logical. That probably would be the look of someone that would save the world

1

u/Flashy_Routine_6158 27d ago

You failed, he looks hot af

-2

u/Maximilian_Sinigr Mar 03 '25

No way, the redneck Durge