r/BG3 1d ago

Help Forget the cool & powerful weapons! Tell me about the silly & odd weapons in the game!

I have played all of the game so spoilers are allowed and expected at least on my end. I personally want to make a character that revolves around a silly weapon.

At first I was considering the poop scraper dagger and the rock that is named nut buster. But admittedly when I played last I never payed to much attention to those kinds of weapons so there may be others that I'm unaware of.

So I'm wondering if y'all know of the silly category of weapons available in the game?

144 Upvotes

104 comments sorted by

202

u/usernamescifi 1d ago

Is there a more ridiculous weapon than a stick of salami? 

98

u/proteusON 1d ago

Poo scraper

39

u/TheRealJakeyBaby 1d ago

I wanna run a poo scraper pirate swashbuckler in patch 8

21

u/CarelessFeedback9579 1d ago

Duel wield poo scraper and salami

14

u/proteusON 1d ago

Both are for the butt

24

u/CouchGremlin14 1d ago

Eldritch Knight Wild Heart Barbarian for a returning salami that blinds enemies lol

9

u/jaded-introvert 1d ago

Yeah, salami really is my first thought here!

105

u/Lavarosen 1d ago

I think it’s called the drunken bastard? Its a great club gives advantage attacking enemies when drunk and has the fucking funniest description. I’m sorry I have no idea where it is, or its specific details but I love that weapon.

You could create a dwarf who wields it and is just an alcoholic.

20

u/pjc7 1d ago

I made Minsc a Wild Magic Barbarian with the drunken equipment build. It was a lot of fun.

7

u/Robhos36 1d ago

This has me wondering, because I’ve never tried it. Does the dialogue change if all the party is drunk? Because that would be amusing

13

u/Freakjob_003 1d ago

Yup, you pick it up in the bar in the Shadowed Lands in Act II, where Strumbold Thorm is. Gonna be far better once the Drunken Monk subclass drops!

4

u/Jmaster570 1d ago

Unfortunately its a great club so its 2h.

1

u/Freakjob_003 20h ago

Balls. Maybe two levels of fighter then, for Action Surge and weapon proficiency?

2

u/Jmaster570 18h ago

I may be misremembering, but I don't think proficiency is the main issue. Monks cannot use 2h weapons with their abilities.

1

u/Charybdeezhands 17h ago

There's a perk for that though, right? My Sorcerer is dual wielding Staffs.

3

u/RelativisticTowel 17h ago

Nope. Monk abilities only work "while you are unarmed or wielding only monk weapons and you aren't wearing armor or wielding a shield". Monk weapons are "shortswords and any simple melee weapons that don't have the two-handed or heavy property". The bits in quotes are copied from the 5e Player's Handbook, afaik BG3 did not change these rules.

Note how that's very specifically worded to depend on the weapon itself, not how you're wielding it. So you can wield the club in one hand with the right feat, but it still doesn't count as a monk weapon.

2

u/Charybdeezhands 17h ago

Oh yeah, I remember now. I hate that rule for how vague it is.

Like I'd much rather have all potential monk weapons have a little icon in the corner or something.

1

u/Freakjob_003 9h ago

Ah, darn. Thanks for the correction.

66

u/Freakjob_003 1d ago

The "Goomba Stomp" build revolves around the hammer that deals 1d4 thunder damage when you jump, Hamarhraft. You play Monk, use Step of the Wind to remove the bonus action for jumping, and boing around the battlefield dealing damage to everyone.

7

u/AdditionalMess6546 Bard 1d ago

Also works if you land from flying

5

u/No_Nebula_3392 1d ago

That's very creative. But hear me out. Couple levels into Rogue and you remove the need to replenish ki since your dash and etc will be a bonus action.

11

u/JD-Valentine 1d ago

The point of using monk and step of the wind is that you can jump like 90 times in a turn using step of the wind since your ability jump no longer costs a bonus action for every jump

2

u/thorne_antics 1d ago

And if you drink a potion of hill/cloud giant strength you can jump even farther so basically you're unstoppable

2

u/Ancient_Rhubarb_3783 20h ago

the athlete feat and/or getting someone to cast enhance leap on you before combat too… happy jumping

1

u/thorne_antics 20h ago

I gave Lae'zel that feat one time and she had like 18-20 strength (probably 18) so at the creche she was jumping all over the place in the hatchery and combat was so easy.

2

u/Ancient_Rhubarb_3783 20h ago

i call that her monkey jump of doom LMAO

2

u/thorne_antics 19h ago

"Fool, you cannot possibly hit me from where you're standing."

Laezel jumps several meters with minimal effort

2

u/Ancient_Rhubarb_3783 19h ago

i don’t remember the number exactly but at one point her jump distance was nearly 60 feet and it was INSANE😂

1

u/thorne_antics 19h ago

WHAT THE FUCK THAT'S LIKE MY HEIGHT TIMES 10 AND THEN SOME

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1

u/No_Nebula_3392 13h ago

Sorry I forgot to mention you do it in combo with the gloves that have that same effect

4

u/Trollet87 1d ago

Ty for this looks like lot of fun.

4

u/MistakeLopsided8366 1d ago

I had to stop using this after laezel knocked SH and tav off a cliff when she landed beside them. Woopsie! It is hilarious though.

2

u/Ancient_Rhubarb_3783 20h ago

SHUT UP i didn’t know that build was called the goomba stomp i’m obsessed with that😭😂

2

u/Robertooshka 1d ago

I'm playing a mod that changes a lot of the rules and it doesn't cost a bonus action to jump. I guess that would be OP haha.

4

u/CeallaSo 1d ago

Monk's Step of the Wind is included in this setup because it provides that function in the base game. Once you select it, it no longer costs a bonus action to jump, only requiring you have at least 10 feet of movement remaining.

1

u/Freakjob_003 20h ago

I use that mod as well, because it doesn't cost a bonus action in the tabletop and it isn't too much of a "cheat."

1

u/Robertooshka 13h ago

I like it a lot more. It's annoying when you can't move because of characters in the way

1

u/ConsciousTeach8284 6h ago

There's also the gloves fleetfingers which let you jump once per turn for free if you've dashed.

Not sure exactly how this pairs with step of the wind, but potentially could get 2 jumps a turn for one bonus action

52

u/sskoog 1d ago

u/usernamescifi beat me to it -- but, during one of my later playthroughs, I knew approximately when the Lae'zel "duel me for my love" camp scene was coming, so I would put Laezel's armor/weapons/potions/scrolls/bombs in the camp chest before bedding down.

Sure enough, the much-hyped scene arrived... and Lae'zel beat me into submission, using a salami from her camp supply sack. Hilarious, and, when you think on it, quite Freudian. =)

16

u/AllStitchedTogether 1d ago

Here's some of my favorites that always make me laugh! In no particular order:

You can dual wield salami!

Two greatclubs, Problem Solver and Rat Bat

Various medical-related weapons in the House of Healing

Very Heavy Greataxe

Hoppy the warpick

Staff of a Mumbling Wizard (circus prize)

Bigboy's Chew Toy

Clown Hammer

Least Expected bow

Punch-Drunk Bastard (been waiting for patch 8 to use this one)

Salty Scimitar(rrr)

Anything Booooal related, lmao

Unseen Menace

Staff of the Ram (mainly because the glitch with going stealth makes me laugh)

3

u/AdditionalMess6546 Bard 1d ago

Unseen Menace is an incredible weapon

Is polearm master fixed yet?

3

u/AllStitchedTogether 1d ago

I'm not sure, I don't typically have a polearm build. What's wrong with it?

2

u/i_bungle 14h ago

What's the benefit of it being invisible? I used a few times for a while but i dont understand why it is good

3

u/AdditionalMess6546 Bard 13h ago edited 6h ago

Because it's invisible, you get Advantage

If you miss you lose advantage for the rest of the turn, but then get it the next

2

u/i_bungle 13h ago

Ah damn!!! Somehow i never noticed :O thanks

1

u/AdditionalMess6546 Bard 6h ago

Give it to a fighter with Great Weapon Master

Risky Ring with zero risk

3

u/MossyPyrite 1d ago

What’s the ram staff glitch??

3

u/AllStitchedTogether 1d ago

Last time I used it, it stuns you when you come in or out of a crouch lol. Very inconvenient, but silly when out of combat.

3

u/Rabbitknight 1d ago

Bent Wand of Fireballs

1

u/Chembaron_Seki 1d ago

I guess you waited for patch 8 for Punch-Drunk Bastard because of the Way of the Drunken Master subclass?

Unfortunately, the weapon is a two hander, so it doesn't qualify as a monk weapon....

1

u/AllStitchedTogether 1d ago

Yes, but you only need 3 levels of monk to be immune to the negative drunk effects. The greatclub already has a better damage die than monk weapons at that level plus most of the ki abilities don't require a monk weapon to use them.

I plan on doing a "oops all drunk" run, gotta keep it interesting lmao. Monk probably isn't the best class to multiclass with, but I don't expect a drunken run to be all that serious XD

15

u/Acceptable_Account_2 1d ago

https://bg3.wiki/wiki/Reverse_Rain_Cloak

Not a weapon, but the Reverse Rain Cloak applies the “Wet” condition when you wear it.

14

u/ElectricalCar2044 1d ago

Not weapon but the unlucky thieves gloves that add a piece of coal to your inventory every time you steal

13

u/The_Shadow_Watches 1d ago

I found a sewing needle.

Wanted to see what would happen if my Throwzerker tossed it at someone.

It did 0 damage, but knocked them prone. Which seems to be an accurate take of someone throwing a needle at your eye.

6

u/MistakeLopsided8366 1d ago

Is this how Volo escapes most fights?

12

u/MistakeLopsided8366 1d ago

There's a ring from the circus Djinn that let's you "misty step" but it only teleports you and none of your armour/weapons. Not really sure if there's a way to use this to my advantage but it is certainly odd and silly :)

(Pretty much anything from the djinn is worth trying at least once for funsies)

3

u/JD-Valentine 1d ago

Laughs in monk not needed any gear to kick ass

2

u/R0da 1d ago

Isnt it boots?

1

u/Crawfordking 11h ago

I used it in the final Elder Brain fight on a tactician run. It gave me just the extra movement needed to get to the portal. I had Halsin stay back and pick up my armor.

4

u/MistakeLopsided8366 10h ago

Lmao. The thoughts of the team being in such a desparate situation that they send Tav in butt naked into the portal for the final push is so perfectly Baldur's Gate -esque. I love it :)

1

u/Crawfordking 9h ago

FR, it was intense. I didn't know what to expect, so I pulled out all the ass pulls.

8

u/syllelilyblossom 1d ago

You don't need any weapons at all when you have a barbarian and a gnome in your party

2

u/ApprehensiveAd6040 1d ago

Love throwing my little gnome bastard at people. He's got tough, he can take it. Lol

1

u/Caverjen 1d ago

I tried that but my gnome always ended up prone. How do you get around that?

2

u/ApprehensiveAd6040 1d ago

You don't, you just gotta throw mobile on the barbarian so you can pick his ass up and throw him again! Lol

6

u/Platypus_With_A_Gun 1d ago

The spear(lightning jabber)that is just a giant crab claw you get off a kuo toa in act 2

5

u/grumpus_ryche 1d ago

Dual-wielded by Laezel decked out in red-dyed flawed Helldusk armor. Crabby gith, indeed.

2

u/QuailDifficult8470 1d ago

I gave my Tavern Brawl barbarian (Karlach) a few levels in EK fighter so she can bind this and use it as her main throwing weapon.

1

u/Crawfordking 11h ago

It was quite effective for most of act 2 for me.

7

u/Palanki96 1d ago

the strongest weapon in the game: Chasm

i realized yesterday i can just throw people away, skip entire fights

and goblins. the joy of throwing those little fuckers at each other just never gets old

8

u/echoingpeach 1d ago

chasms are good until you knock someone off and realize you wanted their loot. 🥲 my first time at the creche was…. rough LMAO

3

u/Palanki96 1d ago

i never really did it before Act 2. Sometimes i would try and knock off enemies but mostly for fun, not as an actual battle plan

I was worried the enemy would alert others so i panicked, grabbed him with Karlach and thrown into the abyss. Then against the Warden i thought: "Gale can cast Telekinesis from some gear, i should try it". I didn't think it would actually work

2

u/Consistent-Flan-913 18h ago

And it REALLY sucks when the one you knock is a Mimic that ate your Everburn Blade 🥲

1

u/echoingpeach 13h ago

NOOOOO oh no oh that sucks lmao

4

u/ElfStuff 15h ago

I killed the avatar of the god of undeath by throwing a dead Tiefling child at him.

3

u/twuntfunkler 1d ago

There's the club of giant strength that puts your strength up to 19 but it's still only a club.

6

u/Individual_Soft_9373 1d ago

Put it in your off hand. Hit things with a real weapon.

3

u/JD-Valentine 1d ago

Use it with the titanstring bow for a free +4 damage on every hit without elixirs or any investment

2

u/RelativisticTowel 16h ago

Tell that to my Gloomstalker Astarion and his Titanstring Bow. Until well into Act 2, with good positioning, he'll often have two enemies down before anyone else gets a turn. Plus he can carry all the loot.

3

u/Sn1o 1d ago

I just throw anything and everything I pick up. Bars of soap, hammers, bottles of anything around, whatever you have that’s a throwable is now a weapon. Honestly I throw more hammers than anything as they’re super abundant in Acts 1-2.

6

u/grumpus_ryche 1d ago

Ahh, the Jason Bourne school of combat.

3

u/AstarionsRightTooth 1d ago

The description for the Slicing Shortsword tickles me every time 🩸 Also a fan of the rat bat 🐀

1

u/JD-Valentine 1d ago

Did they ever fix the damage rider bugs since it was still broken on honour mode last i checked

3

u/AlzarnsFire 1d ago

'Nut Buster'... the ultimate throw weapon.

(I should try building an EK and binding it to me... would it work cause it's not classed as a weapon?)

2

u/Finnvasion2 1d ago

I've not seen anyone mention "Hoppy" yet so i will. Society if brilliance lady in the mountain pass carries it, it's lethal and silly.

2

u/ApprehensiveAd6040 1d ago

I think Club of Hill Giant Strength is deserving of a place on this list, considering how you get it. But Salami Stick is the #1 on my end

2

u/Ghoulybutt 22h ago

punch drunk club? with bonus damage if you use it while drunk. very silly.

2

u/NootTheNoot Paladin 12h ago

Reverse pickpocketing thousands of coins into an enemy's inventory, then hitting them with the weapon (Gerringothe's?) that does damage based on how much money the target is carrying.

I love this video of someone one-shotting Raphael ...and their framerate.

1

u/The-Comfy-Chair 1d ago

I have Karlach as a throwzerker using goblins as ammo.

Flind’s (gnoll) flail is fun as it requires a saving throw against madness every turn

2

u/Chembaron_Seki 1d ago

Flind's flail (which is actually a mace, lmao) just requires saving throws on turns you didn't attack enemies with it. It basically just forces you to keep attacking, but the added healing for doing so is nice.

1

u/coldblooded_heart 1d ago

Not exactly silly but: i always like to get the doom hammer asap, then roleplay it on a character that it "took hold" of and carry it until myrkul, where it blocks myrkuls healing ability. Idk. I think its just a neat weapon. And the fact its sold to you buy a goblin and its name is doom hammer. Just strikes me as funny all around.

1

u/CarelessFeedback9579 1d ago

If only you could make the cheese wheel that the genie turns you into a permanent transformation and just role around Baulders gate fucking people up as a cheese wheel

1

u/EmrodCaduceus 1d ago

The glaive sold in the goblin camp/Roah moonglow inside with the jump bonus, paired with an eagle heart barbarian jumping miles for their eagle charge, sub specializing as a grenadier for acid/fire/water.

The hand axe songs by the druid merchant in the grove with bonus damage vs burning follows a similar kind of gameplay, toss an alchemist fire while closing on the enemy position, attack with bonus damage, shove target/others into the fire.

Vision of the absolute gets a, fairly justified bad rap, but with hex Dex, you can make the debuff pretty reliably with a martial warlock!

The knife Sazza, the goblin you escort out of the grove jail, has bonus damage vs slept or unconscious enemies, paired with sleep, while it's still in it's prime at levels 1-3, gets pretty amusing on a rogue.

Nature's snare from the hidden tunnel to the grove chest is pretty hilarious as a club and instigator for shillelagh damage and control. It pairs pretty decently with Monk as well if for whatever reason your Corellions Grace is missed/financially prohibitive/misplaced or in use.

1

u/Acceptable_Account_2 1d ago edited 1d ago

You know, you can actually optimize the Poo Scraper pretty well if you want to:

  • it’s a throwable dagger
  • it can benefit from the Tavern Brawler feat when thrown (drink an Elixir of Hill Giant Strength)
  • because it’s a finesse weapon it is a candidate for a Rogues Sneak Attack (configure Sneak Attack to apply as a reaction, and prompt it to ask you. Will work on thrown attacks)

Poo Scraper Thrower Assassin!

Also, if you take 3 levels of Eldrich Knight you can bind it to make it a returning weapon. Or if you don’t mind using an exploit, have a Hireling EK bind it every morning then send it directly to your inventory.

(I didn’t invent this build: https://youtu.be/KMrq95oxGDo?si=BgZylVdCh8SwqpP3)

1

u/Raevyn_6661 23h ago

I armed astarion with those sausages for shits n giggles 🤣🤣🤣 just him running around sneak shanking ppl with sausages never gets old

1

u/Hotlush 13h ago

Arrow of sparrow slaying, just what you need for the chirpy buggers.

1

u/OrdinaryMattress 6h ago

Really disappointed I can’t dip the branding stick into fire and go around branding people 😪

1

u/wisebongsmith 2h ago

I had a lightning charges based run where i used every lightning charge item along with the joltshooter on my ranger. it was okay.
there's a greatclub at the brewrey in act 2 that is grants benefits to a drunk user.

1

u/Suspicious_Ad_986 1h ago

There’s a baseball bat in Ketheric’s Son’s bar that’s named something like “Rat Crusher” or something. Its effects and description were pretty funny

0

u/satrnpirate 11h ago

astarion

0

u/satrnpirate 11h ago

astarion