r/BeAmazed • u/Dynastyisog • Jan 04 '25

Animal Dude explains why alligator won't kill him

64.1k Upvotes

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221

u/Celwyddiau Jan 04 '25

Alligator bumming is the worst kind of bumming, it's true.

67

u/mechy84 Jan 04 '25

Legs too stubby for the reach around?

17

u/B4TZ3Y Jan 04 '25

Not to mention that scaily thang penetrating the anoose

5

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '25

Clearly they are putting the wallet in the wrong back pocket. Plus if it's a female gator with a strap on she might just dump a clutch of eggs back there.

1

u/B4TZ3Y Jan 05 '25

OH FUUUUUCK IMABOUTOBUSSSS

1

u/RebootSequence Jan 04 '25

That, and because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush

1

u/mechy84 Jan 04 '25

In their bum?

5

u/Dinlek Jan 04 '25

This sounds like a challenge... ideally for someone who is not me.

2

u/garak857 Jan 04 '25

Don't kink shame me.

1

u/gratusin Jan 04 '25

In Florida, an alligator is probably still in the top ten of most dangerous things to stick your dick in, but it’s definitely not at the top of that list.

1

u/ledfloyd87 Jan 04 '25

That really bums me out