r/BeAmazed • u/CleanwithBarbie • 23d ago

Miscellaneous / Others The owner had depression and I cleaned her home for free

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102.7k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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197

u/Motor-Narwhal-8089 23d ago

The fact that there is a bunkbed in this home indicating the presence of a child makes me sick. People need to grow up. This is literal neglect. Qualifies for a CPS call!

83

u/IAmSk0va 23d ago

I scrolled WAY too far to find someone else that was alarmed by that.

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u/AmaterasuHS 22d ago

people were mostly concerned about a cat instead

2

u/Brendadonna 22d ago

The cat and the kid are innocent and vulnerable and completely dependent on this person. It’s neglect.

2

u/No_Window644 19d ago

Ngl i feel like animal lovers are kinda messed up in the head and this is coming from someone who's had multiple pets and took in a stray kitten

1

u/Comprehensive_Pipe58 22d ago

Typical Reddit users

79

u/mrsbaltar 23d ago

Yeah I thought this was wholesome (and still very generous of OP), but it was really upsetting to see the toys and bunkbed. No child should have to live in this kind of environment.

29

u/Lorezia 23d ago

Yeah there was a real emotion whiplash when that image appeared

1

u/TheEldenRang 23d ago

Luckily, they are no longer. Hopefully, the mother gets some help and doesn't let it get like that again. The parent could have said no. A lot of people are too proud to accept help. This person did. It's a good thing.

1

u/[deleted] 22d ago

[deleted]

1

u/TheEldenRang 22d ago

Don't belittle people who accept help in bad times. That doesn't help anyone.

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

[deleted]

0

u/TheEldenRang 22d ago

Aight. You're wanting to fight. Soooo not doing that.

71

u/mamax22024 23d ago

i’m also a mother who struggles with depression but this was sickening. i’m glad it’s cleaned up, and really hope it doesn’t get in that bad of condition again for the kids.

13

u/TRVTH-HVRTS 23d ago

Sadly, I’ll bet it looks that bad within a few weeks. I can’t help but feel this lady took advantage of a free service and won’t do the right thing moving forward. No shade to OP, but I personally would have felt obligated to make that dreaded call to CPS. These kids are still in danger.

-1

u/PM_AEROFOIL_PICS 22d ago

That’s definitely possible, but we don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. Maybe now that the home’s in a workable state they can hire a regular cleaner to help them stay on top of things.

2

u/TRVTH-HVRTS 22d ago

I don’t think this person has the money nor the wherewithal to hire a cleaner, but I do hope they get the help they need…

28

u/marzgirl99 23d ago

Yeah this is why I’m hesitant about having kids as someone with depression who struggles to keep my place clean. I don’t want my depression to be a burden for a child.

5

u/IndecisiveTuna 23d ago

As someone who suffers from mental health as well, it’s selfish to have children if you don’t have your issues managed.

There are days where I’m barely able to take care of myself. I do it and for the sake of my dog, which has helped me be accountable.

8

u/bean-jee 23d ago

postpartum depression is a whole other beast and isn't predictable. nobody expects to be completely fine pre childbirth and suddenly unable to get out of bed post childbirth.

not saying that the conditions weren't terribly inappropriate for children, just saying that it's not always selfish vs responsible.

3

u/IndecisiveTuna 23d ago

That I agree with completely. All this to say, I really don’t know what else this person is going through, and there can be so many reasons for this. I hope they can get whatever help they need.

I think a lot of times we tend to look at these things from one point of view. It’s easy to cast judgement when we aren’t directly in the situation.

3

u/marzgirl99 23d ago

Same here. My cat is the only reason I get out of bed sometimes.

3

u/IndecisiveTuna 23d ago

I can’t speak for you, but I’ve already made the decision to not have kids and this is definitely a big reason. The state of the world is also a contributing factor, but when I put it all together, the decision to go child free is easier.

3

u/Isabellablackk 23d ago

same, I have quite a few reasons for being child free but my mental illness is one of them. I’m 25 and I’ve been in and out of therapy, treatment centers, outpatient centers, etc. since I was 11. I just bring a printed out paper with all my diagnoses and current/past medications when I meet a new provider because I can’t remember it all. I have vastly improved and am fairly stable now at 25, but with having mental illnesses that are genetic and/or untreatable by meds, I would feel selfish to have a child. Not to mention the way a pregnancy and stress of a baby would very likely cause huge backslides in my mental health and I don’t want to traumatize a child or become incapable of caring for them.

Mental illness aside, the state of the world definitely is not a place i would want to bring a child into.

2

u/Lfeaf-feafea-feaf 23d ago

You couldn't tell from the state of the apartment just how sick this person must be? Your (and others') judgement is sickening. A person who lives in literal filth is not selfish. A selfish person would not willingly live in literal filth by their own volition. It's impossible to have any kind of understanding of depression and look at these pictures and even think "selfish".

3

u/busigirl21 23d ago

Selfishness and a lack of hygiene are not mutually exclusive, maybe you're conflating selfishness with narcicism, but creating a filthy environment and not caring that it harms others (especially kids) is selfish. People who are alcoholics are sick, but it doesn't mean that being messy drunk around kids is okay. People who are depressed stop caring about themselves and their environment, but it doesn't make it okay to inflict that on your kids.

That kind of living situation inflicts real emotional damage. This is the stuff that turns into life-long issues. It is absolutely selfish to not get help before this point. I have severe depression among other issues. I know when I'm getting bad, and I do everything in my power to not let it harm others. When you have kids, you have a responsibility to them, and abducating that because you stopped caring is selfish, yes. Kids should have the right to feel happy, healthy, and safe as the bare minimum. That's not this home.

2

u/IndecisiveTuna 23d ago

I suffer from depression and severe OCD. I’ve had messy places. This is beyond that. Your mental health shouldn’t be a crutch. They need help, but when you have children in the picture, you can’t make the same excuses.

1

u/Lfeaf-feafea-feaf 23d ago

Again, you are failing to comprehend that someone who's completely crippled from depression to this degree is SICK. It's not a choice. These people are no more capable of "fixing it" than someone in a wheelchair. Just like a paralyzed person's nerves don't work, so is the case with mental health issues like this. The neurons don't work. It's not an excuse or a crutch, it's an actual illness.

If you have OCD and still can't fathom this part, it's no wonder mental health still in 2025 is so misunderstood.

1

u/Mya-_ 23d ago

I think it’s not so black and white. There are cases when all odds are against someone trying their hardest and it’s not selfish but I wouldn’t say that’s the majority. This person clearly has responsibilities, being a kid and a cat. (even though OP is apparently blind to the littler box) I think it’s naïve to think this person isn’t selfish. I also think it’s harsh to label them as selfish when they’re clearly struggling. I think the state of the house when a child and animal are assumed to be living there is more sickening than calling this person selfish. And OP is just enabling if they don’t call cps and get this person actual help.

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u/Motor-Narwhal-8089 23d ago

This is not okay man

12

u/lilbios 23d ago

I grew up like this as a child (under 8). I wished someone called CPS for me.

1

u/no_bra_no_problem 22d ago

My husband’s family home looks like this and I was so relieved when he finally got out. Nobody should live like that.

19

u/PollutionMany4369 23d ago

Agreed. :( I’m a mother and I myself have depression. No judgment there. But I really hope the kiddo or kiddos are okay.

8

u/TackyPeacock 23d ago

This- my kids’ rooms get cluttered with toys but when our bathroom shower was leaking and I realized when it had created mold on my sons wall (the wall is right against the bathroom wall with the shower head) he temporarily slept on the couch and my boyfriend fixed the shower head and replaced the entire panel of drywall. This is not acceptable, I sympathize with depression and messy houses but your children sleeping in a mold filled house of trash is not okay. I won’t judge the room itself as I understand not everyone can afford certain luxuries, but at the minimum kids need a clean and healthy environment.

8

u/Storymeplease 23d ago

There's a family photo (printed on a pillow, second to last Pic) that shows there is at least one child.

14

u/Dangywyatt 23d ago

Also a scooter, plushy toys, and suspect bin that was "not a litter box"

13

u/Motor-Narwhal-8089 23d ago

I’m so glad to know Reddit isn’t as sensitive as TikTok so everyone here agrees with me

5

u/Aasrial 23d ago

Exactly. It’ll just end up looking like the before photos again. Cleaning the house was nice, but it’s just a bandaid. It does nothing to solve the root of the problem, and it’s definitely not fair for the kids. I’ve lived all my life with depression and it never looked even close to this.

0

u/IndecisiveTuna 23d ago

But there are varying forms of depression, surely you know that. Severe depression will absolutely result in severe neglect of one’s self and surroundings.

3

u/Aasrial 23d ago

I do know that, however this is beyond depression and is inexcusable. Willing to bet there’s more than depression going on.

1

u/IndecisiveTuna 23d ago

I guess, you may be right. We can’t know for certain. I’d be curious to know how the person is from a social standpoint. When I did home hospice, I saw homes in worse states than this more often than one would think. It was pretty astounding to me.

A lot of people live in pretty deplorable environments, and I’m not sure how.

2

u/Aasrial 23d ago

Yeah it’s one thing if you are disabled or living alone…children and animals don’t deserve this. :(

0

u/howdylu 23d ago

sometimes, this is what depression is. i wouldn’t say it’s ‘beyond depression’ as it’s also kind of a spectrum

9

u/DataDude00 23d ago

That was my first thought.

Happy that this person got help but there are children in this home so this is pure neglect

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u/Motor-Narwhal-8089 23d ago

I’m literally sick to my stomach

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u/Motor-Narwhal-8089 23d ago

Update I just now saw the other decorations such as shower clings

2

u/CommunicationTall921 22d ago

Likely the kids and cat have already been gone for a while.

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u/mygrowthstory 22d ago

I hope so.

2

u/CRYgriidle 22d ago

Exactly what I thought, and I saw a litter box too so there’s probably animal neglect as well :(

1

u/SweatyTruck8394 22d ago

Yep! I would’ve called CPS

1

u/Obstetrix 22d ago

Thank you. Good lord it took too long for me to scroll and see a comment on the bunk beds. Please please please make a DFCS report.

0

u/happy_bluebird 23d ago

Sadly this is what major depression is

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/happy_bluebird 22d ago

Your experience is not everyone’s. You’re being judgmental

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u/JayAndViolentMob 22d ago

You know, it's OK to be judgemental when someone is being harmed.

1

u/happy_bluebird 22d ago

It depends on if the person you are judging is at fault. Yes they are causing harm but it’s not their fault. It’s a sad situation and everyone is suffering

0

u/I_Like_Metal_Music 22d ago

Oh yeah because telling someone who’s dealing with that severe of depression can just magically get better and “grow up”. How about we make mental health care more accessible and not absolutely demean and belittle people with mental illnesses like you are.

1

u/Motor-Narwhal-8089 20d ago

No one agrees with you. I have mental health issues. Excuses.

1

u/I_Like_Metal_Music 20d ago

Everybody, even mentally ill people, REFUSE to acknowledge how bad mental illnesses can get. Y’all just want to look at the bare minimum and easy to look at parts and not the awful behaviors that come from them. People kill themselves because they get so depressed. This is a VERY common issue with people who are severely depressed and people like you who demean and diminish what they’re going through simply because you don’t like looking at it is what makes people like this person not want to get help. Stop judging people and be a little considerate.

0

u/I_Like_Metal_Music 20d ago

Quit acting like mental illnesses cause the bare minimum of issues and ACTUALLY become educated on the effects of them. 🖤🖤

0

u/I_Like_Metal_Music 20d ago

Please keep commenting things that get removed. I’m loving it.

1

u/Motor-Narwhal-8089 20d ago

All of my comments are literally still here so you’re talking out of your anal glands lol

1

u/I_Like_Metal_Music 20d ago

If they’re there then why can’t I see them and I’m not getting any notifications? They’re also not showing up in the main threads either. 😘

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u/Motor-Narwhal-8089 20d ago

Because you don’t know how to use Reddit I haven’t gotten any notifications saying that my comments have been removed therefore they haven’t been. Maybe it’s God shielding your overly sensitive eyes from the truth. GROW UP

1

u/Motor-Narwhal-8089 20d ago

Go touch some grass and maybe a cleaning rag while you’re at it

1

u/I_Like_Metal_Music 20d ago

Get some therapy babes. May make you a little less hostile🖤