r/BeAmazed • u/MobileAerie9918 • 12d ago
Miscellaneous / Others In 2017, Heather and David Mosher married in a Connecticut hospital, just 18 hours before Heather passed away from terminal breast cancer.
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u/ACiDRiP90 11d ago
As someone who lost a kid last November to cancer, and who’s wife needs a biopsy Wednesday on a slow healing wound.. I can honestly, and wholeheartedly say.. fuck cancer.
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u/Rdtackle82 11d ago
That wound could be acting that way for any number of reasons, deep breaths, take care of yourself in the meantime. Big hugs from a stranger over here, I'm so sorry for your loss.
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u/Curiouser-Quriouser 11d ago
Very kind. And very good advice.
And still fuck cancer.
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u/MakararyuuGames 11d ago
Fuck cancer.
And fuck all the people who think it's badass to use cancer as adjective when swearing.
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u/Horton_75 11d ago edited 11d ago
As someone who has survived and beaten not 1, not 2, but 3 different types of cancer, and whose wife has also survived and beaten 3 different types of cancer, I can honestly and wholeheartedly agree…FUCK CANCER.
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u/YesDone 11d ago
I'm in chemo right now, so I'm not being glib when I ask if you guys are being exposed to something in your surroundings? What an absolute nightmare, and what a great outcome!
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u/XDXDXDXDXDXDXD10 11d ago
3 times does seem like an outlier, but in general, cancer survivors are more susceptible to getting cancer again. Theres a bunch of potential reasons for this, could be genetic, could be that the cancer metastasises in ways that can’t quite be detected, could also be increased risk factors from the chemo itself.
That being said, exactly how much of an impct it has is somewhat unclear as far as I know, and there are certainly many cases where this doesn’t happen.
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u/TheTendieMans 10d ago
Yeah, my friend's uncle caught cancer 3 times. The 3rd time it metastasized from his liver to his brain, heart, spleen and lungs. During each treatment he refused all visitors, so they would remember him as he was, and not how he ended. Was very hard on his wife and 2 sons.
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u/exzyle2k 11d ago
My mother has so far successfully beaten cancer three times. Two breast and one bladder. First breast cancer was when she was a young child, second in her late 50s, bladder was in her 70s.
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u/Horton_75 11d ago
For me it’s an unfortunate family history. Both my parents had a couple kinds of cancer, so the odds of me getting it too were very high. As for my wife, well…I think she had some rotten luck through the years. But we’re both still here, still standing. We’ve gotten to know all the oncologists in our area very well over the years. Which reminds me: PSA time now. Get your screenings done folks. Ditto for your scans and so forth. Early detection is the key!
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u/YesDone 10d ago
And advocate! It took me four months to get scheduled for the damn scan after I notice symptoms. Fuckers sent me into stage 2.
I left them after their oncology department was just as disorganized as radiology. Best choice I made.
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u/Horton_75 10d ago
You are so right. We gotta advocate-loud and long-for ourselves. It’s sad that that sort of thing is necessary, but such is the state of specialized care in the US. If you want treatment, you gotta raise holy hell to get it. And absolutely shop around if you can, in order to find the best & most competent care!
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u/Prestigious-Hotel263 10d ago
You should be able to sue when things progress to different stages. That's why I act hysterically sometimes at hospitals.
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u/somuchyarn10 9d ago
I had a skin cancer removed last year. Just had my six month screening today.
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u/Horton_75 9d ago
Good for you. Post-surgical care is just as important as early detection. Stay diligent! 👍🫡
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u/Guilty_Application14 7d ago edited 7d ago
I've had sqamous, basal cell, and melanoma skin cancers and am being treated for bladder cancer at the moment. Bennies of living long enough, and that nothing else has killed me yet.
Oh, yeah - Fuck Cancer!
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u/xavierfern3751 11d ago
Stories like yours are a beacon of hope for so many battling that monster.
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u/PCPaulii3 11d ago
I feel like a bit of a piker here... But I have beaten cancer once. Playing the waiting game at present after a battery of tests last week. Hopeful.
You have done very well to beat it three times.
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u/The_bad_Piglet 11d ago
Good luck with waiting, that must be stressfull. You got this and i am wishing for you for good results.
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u/Quetiapine400mg 11d ago
I assume your mindset just kind of adjusts, because I couldn't fathom where I'd be mentally on the second time - much less a third. Good health to you going forward.
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u/Good-Airport3565 11d ago
Lost my mom to pancreatic cancer 13 years ago. Tumor found in January, gone in May. Fuck cancer.
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u/LucretiusCarus 11d ago
Sorry dude, It's insane how fast pancreatic is. Dad was feeling unwell in September and was gone by January. It's been three years now and I still can't believe he's gone.
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u/4Wonderwoman 11d ago
My mom got pancreatic cancer at 83 and beat it. Even her surgeon, after the whiple, was shocked .
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u/your_moms_bf_2 11d ago
I bet the cancer was shocked as well
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u/4Wonderwoman 10d ago
Thank you! The Japanese woman surgeon got in my personal space 1 month after mom’s surgery and abruptly said, “You, You do not understand. Your mom is doing better than my patients 20 years younger.” It still took me 4 years before I understood after reading up on the statistics. Mom was not particularly strong or healthy.
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u/Good-Airport3565 11d ago
That's incredible! My mom was 52. It's such a hard cancer to beat, I'm so thrilled your mom beat it!
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u/LucretiusCarus 11d ago
I am so happy for you! It's almost always a death sentence and very tough to deal besides.
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u/4Wonderwoman 10d ago
Thank you! It took me 4 years to understand how fortunate she was. She was not athletic or in unusual good health but it was caught in time. Like my ovarian cancer - stage 1A. I was “alerted” by a dog at a rescue facility. I found out later (after biopsy during surgery) when I called to tell them, that I was the 8th person that old Alaskan Malamute had “alerted” to cancer! Miracles or damn lucky- take you pick! 💕
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u/4Wonderwoman 10d ago
Thank you! It took me 4 years to understand how fortunate she was. She was not athletic or in unusual good health but it was caught in time. Like my ovarian cancer - stage 1A. I was “alerted” by a dog at a rescue facility. I found out later (after biopsy during surgery) when I called to tell them, that I was the 8th person that old Alaskan Malamute had “alerted” to cancer! Miracles or damn lucky- take you pick! 💕
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u/InternationalGood588 8d ago
Can you please elaborate a bit more about the malamute alerting you
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u/HealthyDurian8207 11d ago
My grandpa went into the hospital mid-May for fluid in his lungs.
He was gone early June. He got his diagnosis literally two days before he passed, 3 weeks after being admitted into the hospital.
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u/Good-Airport3565 11d ago
Oh how awful... My mom's timeline was so fast, but that is devastatingly sudden. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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u/Good-Airport3565 11d ago
It feels like a thief... Here and gone before we even knew what happened. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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u/LucretiusCarus 11d ago
Thank you. it's still feels a lie to think how we went from waiting to discuss the results of a biopsy to the doctor advising us for end-of-life care.
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u/4Wonderwoman 10d ago
I am so sorry you lost your Dad. My mom’s doc (2nd doc- first one was terrible and did nothing for her) reacted fast. They caught it just in time.
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u/HerietteVonStadtl 11d ago
My partner's mom had the exact same timeline, 4 years ago. She only started feeling unwell in December.
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u/FlareArrowwood 8d ago
Lost my mom 13 days ago to pancreatic cancer. As much as it sucks, I'm glad I'm not alone.
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u/YesDone 11d ago
I am SO sorry for your loss. It's unfathomable what you are going through.
I'm right in the middle of chemo, bald, beat up, in pain, everything affected (vision, voice, breathing, muscles, fingernails--I'm on Hydrocodone for the fingernails pain, it's no joke--fatigue, neuropathy, guts, brain, everything) and got an infusion today. Gonna have 2 surgeries, radiation, and immunotherapy for the rest of the year, and maybe a few more years.
But my particular treatment is 95-100% effective if I just keep going and get the poison every week. So that's what I'm gonna do. I get infusions on Monday, lay in bed for 6 days, do it again. Fucking glad I have a good prognosis though because I'm too aware that not everyone does.
Fuck cancer.
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u/Key-Importance6955 11d ago
i am so sorry - sending love and prayers that soon you will be wonderfully healthy - keep your mind on the positive
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u/eatyourvegetabros 11d ago
Fuck cancer. ….and one day soon, I am very hopeful that you will get to say YESDONE, u/yesdone. ✊
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u/ACiDRiP90 10d ago
She had a good prognosis also, it just happened she developed a yeast infection in her blood. Which I feel they over corrected trying to treat. Besides that, she was beating cancer! So keep on trucking, and kick it in the ass!
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u/RitaTeaTree 8d ago
Oh no that sounds like a real struggle. Hope you get a chance for a moment of joy here and there whether its a look at the moon or from listening to music. Good luck stranger!
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u/Comfortable-File7929 11d ago
Fuck. Man. I will never imagine what you are going through. Fuck cancer.
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u/flopflapper 11d ago
I can’t fucking imagine. I don’t want to. I’m sure this means less than nothing to you but please DM me if you need anything from a stranger in Virginia.
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u/haleandguu112 11d ago
hey hun , i just got a bunch of gastric (stomach) biopsies today. im so sorry for your loss , and keeping you & your wife in my thoughts <3
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u/Brief-Study-76 11d ago
I’m so sorry you’re having to enduring that. My mom is currently caring for my brother who has cancer; she’s lost her dad and her husband (my dad) to cancer. Yes, FUCK cancer.
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u/No-Neat2520 11d ago
It blows my mind that we can keep a hand alive in a leg, but we haven't figured out how to beat all cancers. I'm not trying to be a conspiracy theorist, but IF there are people who are withholding the answer for profit, there really is a special place in hell for you.
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u/RonnieJamesDionysos 11d ago
There are a LOT of types of cancer, and the survival rate has increased significantly on several. If people find a cure, selling that will be much more profitable than selling band-aids.
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u/blissfully_happy 11d ago
In the US? We don’t properly fund research.
In fact, we literally just cut 90% of all funding for cancer (and other diseases) because billionaires need more money. Even before this, our funding was shameful in relation to other government expenditures.
Pharmaceutical companies do research, yes, but they are constantly worried about their bottom line. The research isn’t for the betterment of society, it’s to enrich shareholders. If we fund national laboratories and fund national research, the growth is for the betterment of society, not just for shareholders.
Alas, we must always think of the bottom-line. 🙄
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u/photosendtrain 11d ago
I mean even with all the funding in the past, we're still nowhere near beating ALL forms of cancer. It's just incredibly complex and difficult, which is what I believe the guy above you was trying to say.
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u/someonesshadow 11d ago
I think that most the RESEARCHERS in medicine get into it in order to help people. Someone would speak up if cancer cures had been discovered, also the ultra wealthy would never die of cancer either.
I wouldn't put it past an insurance or pharmaceutical company attempting to squeeze every penny and then some for cancer vaccines and curative treatments, but I wouldn't be concerned with it being suppressed once it does get discovered.
There is almost no incentive to hide it either, because other countries are also doing their own research so having the first patent on the market is HUGE. If someone discovers their own cure other research groups might stop looking and instead contract with the patent holder rather than burn more money on research that may or may not lead somewhere.
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u/Worldly_Most_7234 11d ago
Cancer is part of nature. It is cellular mutation and degradation. Cells cannot replicate and remain perfect forever. We can no more figure out how to beat all cancers than we can figure out how to cheat death. Our medical technology is amazing. Our pharmaceutical companies (despite how much people vilify them) are amazing. We have pushed the limits on curing cancers and will continue to, but we won’t be able to cure them all.
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u/Yehoshua_ANA_EHYEH 11d ago
Doctors in antiquity may have figured it out. Galen for example. Also fig leaves may have potential:
Cytotoxic and Hepatotoxic Activities The cytotoxic and hepatotoxic activities of the extracts (8 mg/mL in water) were tested using the sulforhodamine B assay, according to the procedure described previously [25,26]. To perform this assay, three human tumor cell lines were used: MCF-7 (human breast adenocarcinoma), AGS (gastric adenocarcinoma), and CaCo2 (colon adenocarcinoma), obtained from the European Collection of Authenticated Cell Cultures (ECACC) collection. In addition, two non-tumor cell lines were used: VERO (non-tumor African monkey embryo kidney cell line), also obtained from ECACC, and PLP2 (non-tumor porcine liver primary culture), a cell line prepared in-house according to Mandim et al., 2019 [26]. Ellipticine (Sigma-Aldrich, St. Louis, MO, USA) was used as a positive control for all cell lines, and the results obtained are presented as the extract concentration required for 50% inhibition of cell proliferation (GI50 in μg/mL).
Herbalism may actually work and stories of ancient healers may have some truth to it. I’m decoding recipes or trying to find the truth behind lots of mythology. Turns out a lot of poems are basically pharmaceutical advertisements
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u/photosendtrain 11d ago
Do you know what they call alternative medicine that works?
Medicine.
No one has figured it out, but once they do, you can bet every pharmacutical in the world is going to jump at it for a chance to be the richest company on the planet.
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u/KoolAidManOfPiss 11d ago
BeAmazed, NFL, and all the other positivity sub's are just playgrounds for bots. Reddit probably likes them to be active so they can show advertisers its not all porn.
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u/Educational-Year4005 11d ago
Why don't we stick to the modern medicine? Yes, ancient cultures happened to identify plants that had beneficial compounds. However, we've identified those compounds, improved upon them, and figured out dangers as well
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u/Yehoshua_ANA_EHYEH 11d ago
I just posted scientific research on compounds found in fig leaves. That’s…modern medicine? Not sure what you’re going on about
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u/Educational-Year4005 11d ago
Yes, those compounds tentatively appear to have some beneficial properties. That doesn't mean you should promote the use of fig leaves for cancer or tell people to hunt in ancient myths for treatments. What we have now is the best available and encouraging non-scientific beliefs can lead directly to harm.
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u/Yehoshua_ANA_EHYEH 11d ago edited 11d ago
Oh fuck off, not what I said at all. If anything it encourages not assuming we know everything and applying modern science to what they were doing. If you read what I said and stick fig leaf juice on cancer you weren’t long for this world anyway.
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u/4Wonderwoman 11d ago
As an ovarian cancer survivor, thanks. I agree with what you are trying to fo here.
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u/BurlHimself 11d ago edited 11d ago
And she may very well have made his dream come true.
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u/NoBoss2661 11d ago
I'll post another inspirational quote.
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u/Unstoppable_Cheeks 11d ago
one hopeth in the darkest night that they did bang nasty before the evening twilight, inspiration
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u/garcianelsondzrgd 11d ago
Absolutely love is not just about time it's about the moments that truly matters.
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u/denyfate 11d ago
“Gotta have opposites, light and dark and dark and light, in painting. It’s like in life. Gotta have a little sadness once in awhile so you know when the good times come. I'm waiting on the good times now.”
― Bob Ross after the loss of his wife.
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u/Enzown 11d ago
Not only after losing his wife but back at work trying to bring other people joy. We don't deserve people like Ross.
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u/tweekinleanin420 11d ago
Both in this situation. Good lord the feels I'm going through right now. I can't wait to get home and just hug my family. I have it so much better than I let on .
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u/Ddog78 11d ago
There's this hindi song that's one of my favourites. This reminds me of it.
I don't have a proper english translation so I'm just pasting what I found on a website. Not a full copy paste, just some stanzas.
'Aaj Jaane Ki Zid Na Karo' - link
tonight, don’t insist on leaving. keep on sitting close to me like you are. tonight, don’t insist on leaving. oh I will die, I will be lost, don’t say such things. tonight, don’t insist on leaving.
life is trapped in the prison of time but these are the few moments that are free by losing them, my beloved let’s not have a life of regret tonight, don’t insist on leaving
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u/Cultural-Bite3042 11d ago edited 11d ago
Thats an Urdu (not Hindi) song written by a Pakistani poet (Fayyaz Hashmi), composed by a Pakistani composer(Sohail Rana) and sang by a Pakistani singer( Habib Wali Mohammad) as a playback song for a Pakistani movie in 1973. And when a female Pakistani singer (Farida Khanum) sang it in her soulful voice it made the song a timeless classic ever since across the region. Give credit where it’s due.
The link you posted is of the remake not the OG.
And yes Fuck Cancer.
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u/Ddog78 11d ago
Ohhh I only knew the Hindi version. TIL! Ty
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u/Cultural-Bite3042 11d ago edited 11d ago
No worries. Listen to the OG or better yet in Farida Khanum’s voice and you’ll fall in love with the song and how it hits even more❤️.
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u/Sugar_Plum_Mouse 11d ago
Imagine filing a marriage certificate and a death certificate all within such a short amount of time. What are you doing to me Reddit? This is lovely and tragic. I am so glad that she had that before she died. She got to leave with her love.
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u/NC_Ion 11d ago
And then having the hospital and insurance companies coming after you for money.
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u/sanityjanity 11d ago
I hope they had a religious ceremony, but didn't file the paperwork with the state. I'm sure she didn't want to leave him with crippling medical debt
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u/mage_irl 11d ago
You are not responsible for a relative's medical bills, their estate is. If their estate, as in the assets in their name, isn't enough to cover the bills, the estate is considered insolvent. A medical debt is considered an individual liability, and if the estate is insolvent, it is discharged. Debt collectors don't want you to know this and will often unlawfully try to collect the money anyways.
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u/sanityjanity 11d ago
A spouse is different from any other relative. In some states, being married would join their assets, and his would be vulnerable.
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u/Emotional_Pace4737 11d ago
If their assets were adjoined, it's fair game. They'd probably need a prenup or something.
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u/mage_irl 11d ago
Depends on the type of assets and the states. For example, a house in both peoples names would usually be safe from collection, so would retirement funds and personal savings accounts.
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u/cluberti 11d ago edited 11d ago
Connecticut enjoins the assets and requires the estate to pay medical debt as part of discharging the debt of the deceased, so I do hope this was a religious ceremony and not a legal one as well or they had very good lawyers.
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u/ProclusGlobal 11d ago
ELI5, what are the actual legal and financial benefits of being married on paper then?
Lower income tax? Visitation rights in hospital? It sounds like we are off just being ceremonially married without signing any paperwork?
This is a legit question from someone nearing this decision.
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u/cluberti 11d ago edited 11d ago
There are a few benefits that make sense to some people - this is US-centric, so if you're in another country some of these could be different. Always consult a lawyer, even with marriage - "legal marriage" is a business contract, essentially, and should be thought of as such if you can. Even if you love your partner and trust them fully, talking to a lawyer and a tax advisor before getting legally married is a very good idea to make sure everyone is protected and everyone's wishes are legally documented (similar to getting a will - which you should also do). To your question, here's a (probably) non-exhaustive list:
While alive
- tax breaks in most states and federally (filing jointly, marital tax deductions)
- better mortgage terms in some cases
- easy shared health insurance access
- next-of-kin recognition (so you can make medical and other life decisions for your partner before anyone else has a say)
After death
- pension benefits (assuming your spouse has one)
- social security benefits you can take if over 62
- veterans/disability/medicare benefits
- estate inheritance and tax benefits
- IRA rollover
There are divorce benefits you may or may not be entitled to if you are legally married and the relationship dissolves, but that has too many caveats to really list them all here, because they'd all have an asterisk and need explanation. Suffice to say, though, if a marriage dissolves, you would likely have legal rights to shared things in most states, especially if married for a longer period of time, unless a prenup exists that might change those.
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u/Cool-Traffic-8357 11d ago
Thats just insane that you would go into crippling debt over this. What a great country to live in.
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u/Hippopotasaurus-Rex 11d ago edited 11d ago
Every time this comes
springup I think the same thing. This isnt really a heartwarming story if they filed a marriage certificate with their state. That guy will be in MASSIVE, crippling, never recover from debt.2
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u/mybossthinksimmormon 11d ago
So due to American Health Insurance, it would be best if they did not get legally married. They can't go after him with the cost. Ceremony is great, but no documentation please
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u/whubbard 11d ago
I got a letter addressed to my sister last week asking for her to file information so they could investigate her insurance claim of her death. Nice work United Healthcare.
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u/Dimos1963 11d ago
The thought of marrying the love of your life only to lose them so soon is devastating, but at the same time, there’s something deeply comforting about knowing she got to experience that moment of pure love before she passed.
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u/Sugar_Plum_Mouse 11d ago
Absolutely it’s sacrifice to make sure that she had what she needed before she left. And we know that he truly loved her to give her that gift. I can only imagine how incredibly painful that was for him, but to see her have that joy.
My parents were married for 54 years and my dad died about a year and a half ago. My mom’s dying from a broken heart. She has declined so much. It’s so hard to watch.
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u/atony1400 11d ago edited 11d ago
My parents did the same thing. Married and dad passed from melanoma 6 days later, so kinda lived it.
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u/Sugar_Plum_Mouse 11d ago
My dad died a year and a half ago and my mom is dying from a broken heart. It’s really hard to watch. I know that the only reason that she’s hanging on is because of me.
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u/bonerland11 11d ago
Yeah, no kidding. Marriage certificate won't even be logged into the state registry before she passes.
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u/Wintermoon54 11d ago
God. I've seen this before and it just breaks my heart. But I feel happy for them esp for her. So incredibly sad.
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u/Choloefox 11d ago
Such a powerful reminder of love and commitment, even in the face of unimaginable sadness. Their bond will always be remembered.
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u/Whole_Rowwww 11d ago
Cancer’s brutality is beyond words. Moments like those remind us to cherish every second.
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u/Wintermoon54 11d ago
It is. I've lost three family members to it and its so heartbreaking. But God yes the reminder to cherish every moment is so important.
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u/No_Season_354 11d ago
Yeah thers got be a cure, stop spending money on weapons and use it to fight cancer , hopefully some day soon cancer will be a thing of the past.
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u/pLuR_2341 11d ago
The pharmaceutical companies will never let there be a cure. The medical industry wants to keep people sick not make them better.
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u/EndStorm 11d ago
This one breaks my heart. My younger sister is currently battling it, but it has spread to her spine and we're just trying to do our best to get through it. I hope this woman's final day was the most joyful she could have. Oh, and fuck cancer.
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u/gingerlovingcat 11d ago
🫂 to you and your sister. I was diagnosed with MBC 2 years ago at 35 and every day is a fight to stay alive for one more day. I'm sorry we're in this situation.
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u/EndStorm 11d ago
Thank you so very much for your thoughts, and please accept all of my good thoughts and energy, for whatever they're worth, for you. I'm sorry you are going through this.
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u/gingerlovingcat 11d ago
You're so very welcome and thank you as well. It's really, really tough. I'm just trying to make myself take the next step each day. The fear is overwhelming but it doesn't look like I can do a whole lot about it. I'm finally accepting that.
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u/Showmeyourhotspring 11d ago
This is horrible, my heart goes out to you and your family. Just maybe to offer some hope - my mom’s cancer spread to her spine over 19 years ago, and she is still going. Her bones have become more brittle and the medicine she has to take is hard on her body. But the drugs keep it from spreading and she is enjoying life. I’m sending good vibes and hopes for your sis that she can still enjoy her life for many years to come 💕
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u/EndStorm 11d ago
Omg, thank you so much. I deeply appreciate your comment. The spine part has been what's caused me and our family the most distress. Thank you so, so much, for taking the time to make your comment and share that information. It gives me hope.
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u/Autumn8688 11d ago
Sending love and healing prayers to ur sister and u and family 🙏🫶
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u/Midtier_laugh 11d ago
I’m so sorry. I’ve been through it to support my brother and know that i want your sister and family the best of everything
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u/MichElegance 9d ago
If it’s any consolation, and with the thought of giving you some hope, mine metastasized to my spine over two years ago, as well as my ribs, and that particular cancer has been in remission! Stage IV. There are so many amazing medications and targeted treatments that treat bone metastasis. If she’s not already, she should consider going for bone infusions as well. Those helped strengthen my bones heal any lesions. You can live a very long time with bone metastasis. I’ve connected with women who have lived over 20 years! ✨💖💪🏼
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u/EndStorm 8d ago
Thank you so much for your thoughts and for sharing your experience! Rooting for that to continue for you and your remission to also continue!
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u/Frank_Perfectly 11d ago
It's so weird how somone can be so alive and celebrating one moment and then cease to exist just 18 hours later.
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u/UnfairStrategy780 11d ago
On a practical level I wonder how it was possible. Maybe some sort of drug cocktail that gave her one last boost?
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u/PizzaPlanetPizzaGuy 11d ago
Probably just need to see one last thing through at the end. Hope can be very powerful. I expect that once the ceremony was complete she was as ready and prepared to move on as one can in such circumstances. She no longer needed to hold on so she let go.
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u/UnfairStrategy780 11d ago
Yeah that could definitely be the case, but I’ve also seen the last 24 hours of cancer and there was no amount of natural adrenaline that would have lifted them from their bed in that state.
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u/ShadedSpaces 11d ago
"Terminal lucidity" is a strange but interesting phenomenon. Plenty of people in the hours or days before death get this sort of surge of energy, alertness, and mental clarity.
I think (I could be wrong) the term originated with dementia patients because it was more striking for them, right before death, to suddenly become alert and lucid.
But it happens with all manner of people in the process of dying. Many do not go gentle into that good night.
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u/Kyrital 11d ago
This is probably what happened to my mom before she passed. My sisters and I visited her in the hospital on Christmas with my dad, couldn't really speak or move much. A couple days later he reported she was able to walk around a bit and even went outside! I'm happy she had some freedom before the end.
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u/Lost-Stay2760 11d ago
Sometimes at the end patients will rally and almost seem normal, I’ve heard nurses describe this as a sure sign that death will come soon
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u/PrimaryPractical365 11d ago
Good man. I hope he is doing well. His wife is now resting, so sad to see this.
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u/PaleoShark99 11d ago
My cousin was the photographer!
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u/this_place_stinks 11d ago
No way! Any other cool (for lack of a better term) details/stories from this one?
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u/PaleoShark99 11d ago
She’s part of my extended family, so I don’t see her often but her name is Christina Lee Karas.
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u/jorrylee 11d ago
Why didn’t they remove the blood pressure cuff and sat monitor? It’s only in surgery and direst of cases they need it in place constantly.
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u/ZeldasBinaryTampon 11d ago
Heather and I were actually related by marriage. Her family had married into my Dad's side of the family, and we were all part of the wedding party. We were young teens the last time we were together. I hadn't seen her for many years by the time she passed away. I didn't even know she was sick, and I was quite saddened when the news got around.
She came from a truly amazing family. I remember her being a very cool, very sweet, and very pretty young woman.
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u/Curri189 11d ago
How brave the groom has to be. To give his love the wedding she deserves and keep your cool because you know this is the last day you'll see your wife alive. Don't let her see your despair, don't let her know you are breaking inside. Just be happy and present in the moment, for her. Because this is the last good moment she will have in her life.
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u/PretzelTitties 11d ago
This same scenario happened to my friend. The girl died a few days after their wedding
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u/wacheeniee 11d ago
My dad was in hospice with terminal cancer when he and my mom got married. He was in such bad shape and passed away shortly after. FUCK YOU CANCER!!!
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u/Autumn8688 11d ago
I’am sorry for your loss 😢 My condolences 💐 Sending you hugs 🫶 and yes F Cancer. It took my best friend away from me last August. Still heartbroken 💔
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u/StefanLeenaars 11d ago
I had a similar situation happen to a friend. Her boyfriend was diagnosed with a terminal cancer, and they decided to get married a week later. What shocked me was how difficult it was to organise this. I particularly remember they couldn’t find anybody to supply two wedding rings in the close time frame. Most jewellers would just say: ‘Sorry, no can do!’ And would hang up after you explained the situation. They were getting desperate. I suggested a small jeweller my mom visited and told me they had good service. They totally came through. Visited the couple at the hospital with a selection of their rings. And had them ready within five days. I told them, ‘If and when I get married, I will buy my rings from you!’ And I did!
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u/SpeakerSingle3582 11d ago
I lost my friend to cancer when we were 7. Fuck cancer. Emily, I still think about you often.
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u/No_Hair4703 11d ago
I had a very similar experience to this.
My very first gf, we met at 15 and were together for 9 years and had 2 children together. We had planned to marry on our 10th anniversary, but never made it that far.
She was diagnosed with cervical cancer very late, and was constantly fobbed off by GP's, which meant it was terminal by the time it was discovered and had spread to her lungs.
Within weeks she was in hospital knowing there was not much time left, and her last wish was to get married.
After a few hours I had managed to get the marriage sorted and get some cheap wedding rings from a local jewellery shop.
We married in the hospital later that day, and a couple of hours later she was on so much morphine that she never woke again, she passed exactly 7 days later holding my hand.
It's such a strange feeling to have whats supposed to be such a happy day and the worst time of my life all entwined in such a way.
She lives on in our children, and is forever with us.
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u/JustAnother4848 11d ago
It's very possible I can find myself in a similar situation. I've been in a relationship with a woman for 8 years now. She has a lot of health issues. I really doubt she makes it to 40. We can't get married because the medical bills would bankrupt us. She wants nothing more than to get married.
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u/EllieHatesYou 11d ago
I love this picture but it also makes me sad. If this was a legal wedding he just signed up to be responsible for her medical debt.
After almost a decade of working in patient billing for a large hospital, I tell all my friends and family to divorce and get POAs after an expensive diagnosis. This saves families from absolute financial disaster while dealing with the unimaginable.
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u/Scoobysnax1976 11d ago
It is sad that this was one of my first thoughts too. The US medical system sucks.
I have a friend that specifically didn't get married until after they completed their treatments. They would not have qualified for the low cost medical insurance with their partners income.
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u/climb_harder_koobs 11d ago
I’ve heard of people getting divorced on the death bed so that families aren’t left with an unreasonable financial burden after death of a loved one. But never the other way around.
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u/OlderDutchman 11d ago
I never heard of people getting divorced on their death beds. Must suck to live in a society where healthcare means financial disaster.
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u/Rndmdvlpr 11d ago
Yeah I get it from a romance perspective and think that’s awesomely wholesome, but I do wonder if he set himself up for financial ruin.
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u/Doctor-Magnetic 11d ago
If anyone ever came after me for medical debts for a passed loved one I would honestly tell them to get royally fucked and start grilling the debt collector for their career decision to be a money vulture
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u/Secure-Pop8521 11d ago
I’ve been on edge for a few days and this got me crying. So much love and pain. I too would listen to what he has to say also.
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u/NoRadish4622 11d ago
Damn. Wasn't planning on a cry tonight.
I was recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer, with a mutation that increases my risk of metastasis and others forms of cancer like breast and brain.
Before finding out much more info, I was so scared and thought the worst. My boyfriend offered to grow his hair in case I needed chemo. I asked him, if it ended up being terminal, if we could get married before then. He said absolutely.
Turns out it's probably fine. I'm getting a thyroidectomy soon and doing further genetic testing, but I won't be receiving chemo and despite the mutation the likelihood of metastasis is very low. But the sentiment behind it still makes me very emotional.
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u/Orphanbitchrat 9d ago
I am SO glad you’re doing so well❤️. Stay awhile because we (planet Earth) simply cannot do without you.
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u/CybGorn 11d ago
Married and widowed all within the period of a day. 🫢
Hope he has recovered from this and remarried.
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u/casualcretin 11d ago
Curious how long they were together and if she was diagnosed before they started dating.
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u/AztecGodofFire 11d ago
She doesn't really look like someone less than a day from dying.
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u/Allergic_Allergy 11d ago
I don't know how true to real life it is but you always see in medical dramas and sometimes books where you get a description of people dying who have this period where they're doing great, high energy, clear headed, seeming like they're on the mend, etc. then... they pass the next day or shortly after it wears off.
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u/gavinobee63 8d ago
i saw this on my feed and it simultaneously sweetened and broke my heart. my boyfriend and my mom both battled cancer - and both won! but it’s a terrible disease. i know too many people affected by it. i’m glad they both got to marry, but i can’t even fathom having to have that happy moment and soon after, having to sign a death certificate. may she rest in peace.
and fuck cancer!
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u/Azula-the-firelord 7d ago
If I were him, this would disturb me so much, that I would violently bash my head in against my control in a psychotic outbreak.
How the fuck do people do this and not go literally insane?
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u/fenixmartin 7d ago
My aunt dragged not just us but the whole family name out of poverty, and what did the world reward her with?
3 different forms of cancers; fuck cancer.
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