r/ContraPoints • u/Realistic-Chair-6682 • 2d ago
My response to the 'conspiracy video' as someone raised in two cults, and whos parents believed 95% of the shit in the video. QANON, illuminati, anything pill shaped is satanic, the Catholic church especially big poopoo stinky, organ harvest, masonry etc. Also AMA
Hi I'm new to this sub, I'm sorry if you don't do AMA's but I checked the rules and it said 'Posts must be on-topic', and considering the recent 'conspiracy' video I thought it might be fun to deal with the embarassment of believing a big portion of this shit in my life as a child/young adult lol by coming clean.
As a guy who was told vaccines cause autism, anti depressents (and epilepsy meds (as an epileptic this was a big L ;-;)) it's actually crazy watching this video because it made me realise gaddamn this shit is actually crazy. I never realised how big of a deal this was. It was my partner who made me realise only recently I was actually raised in two cults, because beforehand I thought it was just religion.
I was raised by people who believed literally 95% of the stuff in the video. My parents didn't directly believe in the flat earth and lizard people, but they did entertain the idea as family friends where very convinced. I think the first thing that I want to say about this is you might be completely surprised about how many people believe this. When you get into this circle, you realise how many people believe in the fact that the jews run everything and you're a slave to satan. Don't take pills! Thats big pharma trying to harvest your organs, instead do a bunch of mushrooms as a teenager in a forest to connect with your chakras. Don't go to school! That's the beginning of manipulation.
Before any obvious ones, the pyramids 'conspiracy diagrams' were very very enforced into me as a child. I didn't realise it now but it was kinda very anti-semetic. Bankers that happened to be jewish a lot of the time where the ones portrayed as the 'ones who really ran things'. Jay-Z and Beyonce where all in on it, and most popular celebrities where all committed to blood rituals.
Every single logo like the M in the monster energy drink (same thing in your video queenie pop) was proof of the Catholics using satanic logos to control us. Catholics, Prods, Islam (although funnily enough my mum being Polish was very sure it was mainly just the Catholics) are humans manipulated by 'the system'.
Text is getting long so I'ma stop here feel free to ask me anything love u all xoxoox (sry mods if this isn't relevant enough although a long term contrapoints fan I've only recently joined this sub)
P.S I thankfully managed to de-redpill myself through my teenage years but I'm still struggling believing anything in the mainstream media not being deep state. I know it isn't but it's just installed paranoia at this point.
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u/Educational_Long4998 2d ago
Thank you so much for doing this! This is a topic that is very interesting but also very painful for survivors, so the fact that you're willing to indulge our curiosity is very appreciated.
I am very curious as to your process of de-radicalization, how did it happen? Did you have anyone guide you through it or did you take on the process on your own? Did you read/watch any sources to help you? What did your family think about this process?
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u/Realistic-Chair-6682 2d ago
well I was just convinced it was 'buddhism' most of my life and then later I told my fiance about it, looked into it, and realised there was a lot of repressed trauma in that. I think by leaving my family and going into foster care just made me not give a shit about that, and I think naturally after that I just began catogarising these people as crazy.
It just took me a while to realise I also once was one of these crazy people.
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u/Dependent_Visual_739 2d ago
Glad you managed to get out of the conspiracist hellhole and more power to you, man! As for my question, what part of Natʼs video hit you the hardest? Personally, in todayʼs increasingly polarized and unempathetic age, the part where Natalie points out that prominent conspiracists are like that because of severe personal humiliation made me wonder if we couldʼve stopped people from getting into these toxic mindsets and movements if only we understood them instead of going in to harass and shame them immediately.
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u/Realistic-Chair-6682 2d ago
One of the things that hit the hardest was the pyramid. It was something that I basically have memorised due to the amount of times I was educated on it. And it's also the fact that I was in a lot of hippie/druggie groups that believed this shit and it was just treated as common knowledge, and then being able to look at it now it's crazy. I mean the amount of times I had drunk friends in the same place as me go to me and go 'you know who runs the world right'.
The astrology segment as well is a big aspect of the abuse I received with the whole chakra bullshit. It was nice to see that acknowledged. I mean I still like star signs but I don't want to hear from my parents the reason I'm judgemental or the reason I can never improve is because I'm a fucking libra.
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u/Aehrik 2d ago
It's hard to deal with this in only one way. The guy she mentioned thinking he was Jesus or whatever - I'm inclined to tell people like this "no you're not" and then move on and ignore them. But depending on the situation one might not just ignore it. Maybe shaming is the way to go to avoid harm? Idk, it's a difficult question tbh
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u/Realistic-Chair-6682 2d ago
I think the best thing you can do is pity them. I mean these people are usually always mentally ill, and I don't use that as an insult I'm in therapy because I'm mentally ill. Most of us these days are.
That being said theres mentally ill and batshit crazy. And these people are mentally ill batshit crazy people. My parents and people in these circles usually experienced trauma and need a war to fight in, a way to justify what they went through by fighting against a made up enemy. Bipolar, paranoid psychosis schizophrenia, BPD, all of these are so much more prevelant in these communities. I do want to clarify that I would consider myself amongst one of these groups, and the people I love the most, the best artists I meet usually suffer with these things and I would jokingly say it spices up our personalities.
But theres others that are lost in their dellusions. I'm grateful because I had a desperate need to find truth because of the conviction that there is a deeper truth people don't see. And that's what made me realise, my family, the chakra loving weirdos, the anti religion anti semetic cult cultists that would tell me I've got epilepsy because I don't chant enough, they are all people who had to convince themselves they know the hidden truth because realistically they were so scared because they themselves don't know what the truth is.
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u/The_Persian_Cat 2d ago
Hi! First of all, welcome to the sub. Secondly, thank you so much for putting yourself out there like this. I'm extremely sorry to hear everything that happened to you, but I'm proud of you for being able to break free. I'm an epileptic myself-- although (thank God) I haven't experienced it directly, I've heard a lot of wild things about how our condition is seen by conspiratorially-minded people.
I just wanted to ask-- when you say you were raised in two different cults, what do you mean? It sounds like there was a lot of overlap. Where did one cult end, and the other begin?
One other thing-- it takes a lot of strength to realise you're being hurt by your beliefs from childhood. And it takes even more strength to admit you're and actively change your ways. I admire you, seriously. How did you come to that realisation? Was there a single thing that sparked this change, or was it a more gradual thing?
You mentioned your partner-- I'm glad you have someone in your life who was there for you through all this. <3
Also, I hope you're doing better now. (And I hope you're taking whatever meds and getting the medical attention you need, especially for epilepsy)
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u/Realistic-Chair-6682 2d ago
So the first one was the SGI, a controversial form of buddhism that is officially recognised by France as a cult (other nations and many organisations do as well). The leader has received multiple accusations of rape (and pedophilia) but is also involved with intefering with politics in Japan as well as leading henchmen to protect the interest of the religion, by threatening the opposition with violence etc. The leading belief of these people is that chanting 'Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo' is the secret answer to everything in the universe, and if you chant it well enough and frequently enough it will grant you anything and everything you need or desire. But if you are to not recieve it, is because you are simply not good enough. They would deny the outright accusation but here are some fan copy pastes from wikipedia (that cites reputable sources before u deny wikipedias credibility)
- 'Soka Gakkai members have made arson attacks and bomb threat against rival groups'
- Rick Alan Ross, cult specialist and founder of the nonprofit Cult Education Institute, considers them a "destructive cult" and claims to have "received serious complaints from former members and from family members."\154])
Heres a summary I think encapsulates it very well https://culteducation.com/group/940-soka-gakkai/7646-cult-or-buddhism.html
After some time my mother moved onto following the teachings of 'Osho', a delluded groomer that promoted orgies and is the only conspirator of a bio-chemical terrorist attack in America after invading a whole town and overtaking a police force. I recommend watching 'Wild Wild Country' on netflix. Absolute mindfuck. Anyways his teachings passed on to many people worldwide including, my mother. This is when I started hearing about these 'Dynamic Meditations' and 'Doing shrooms/orgies in the forest' which wanted me to eat the barrel of a shotgun. To my mums surprise after hearing about these things I didn't really want to participate in any of those specific rituals. Nevertheless I went along with the shit they were saying and as a young child with no other source of support or knowledge (I was indoctrinised into believing newspapers, and any media are sources of news provided by 'the system') I went along with it again and believed that there was something in me that caused all of this. That I didn't drink enough herbal tea, that I didn't commit enough to the genius of Osho and that these seizures are all my fault. At this point though I was just so addicted to MDMA, ketamine, speed, alcohol (I was like 15 btw) that I couldn't commit enough so I was just a dissapointment to my mum that deserved what he got because I wasn't committed enough on channeling my inner spiritual energy and 'past lifes'.
When it comes to realising it it's when I started funnily enough going to church on a friends recommendation. I always despised religion (not too fond of it now either) but I talked to the priests, and the other people, and realised holly shit these people are actually more sane then the ones in the forest doing mushrooms and denying themselves basic human hygiene. I realised that although the Church isn't perfect it's not crazy. There was community. People didn't have to be better than anyone else there to receive love or care. As a bisexual guy I obviously don't love all of the Churches policies and trust me I better than anyone know why Catholicism can fuck you up, but for a while I identified myself as a Catholic and when I told my mum that she said that 'that's her biggest failure in life, you're my biggest failure in life'. And when she said that it was the sweetest words I've ever heard. Having that insane bitch call me crazy made me realise it was all a scheme. It made me realise that I wasn't ever the crazy one, it was always her.
My partner helped me as well, there are still times I blame myself for my own illnesses and imperfections, but I can tell from right to wrong. I identify now as a quaker at most, probably a tad more agnostic, but whatever it is I don't identify as that crazy shit and I'm grateful for that freedom.
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u/The_Persian_Cat 2d ago
Ooof. I know of both these groups, actually. Absolutely terrifying. You didn't deserve to have your childhood ruled by them, and thank God you were able to free yourself. I'm sure you know this logically, but for what it's worth-- you don't have anything to blame yourself for. Your illnesses weren't something you did, but that self-loathing was something that was done to you. I know those feelings go away just for my saying so, but I hope hearing it helps a little bit anyway.
I know you're not a religious believer, but I hope you don't mind if I pray for you anyway.
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u/Dogtimeletsgooo 2d ago
The podcast Behind the Bastards did some episodes on Osho and his second in command, I think
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u/itsquinnmydude 2d ago
I mean there are a lot of actual good reasons to distrust mainstream media, it's just that substituting it for conspiracist nonsense will be even more illusifying. Like the Catholic Church actually is bad but not because they're part of some kind of NWO illuminati plot or whatever
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u/Realistic-Chair-6682 2d ago
I self identify as an anarcho-syndicalist so obviously I'm very sceptical of the mainstream media and the government, that being said I think 'The Gaurdian', a non profit newspaper with a history of good journalism is a better news provider than tiktok.
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u/seaweed_nebula 19h ago
As a Brit, I think the Guardian occasionally features a particular kind of British insanity (especially when the opinion writers start talking about trans people 🫠), but overall, it's a better paper than most
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u/cykelpedal 2d ago
I'm still struggling believing anything in the mainstream media not being deep state
Eh, just because your bullshit radar goes off doesn't mean that there is some grandiose plan behind it. To make a compelling story all media have to take some short cuts, and some media does undeniably have an agenda - but they all does not have the same agenda. In the media you get to see a short, incomplete glimpse of the truth through the lens of different people and edited for consumption. Mostly correct, most certainly incomplete.
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u/TheVecan 2d ago
Thank you so much for your perspective and I'm glad you were able to get out.
My question is how are you able to deal with any embarrassment that comes with believing so deeply in something that you then realize is false. I imagine that the reason so many get entrenched in their conspiracies is because they don't want to confront that blow to their ego that maybe they were taken advantage of. Not saying there necessarily has to be shame, it seems you were kinda raised in the conspiracy-verse, but I guess I'm wondering if you had any ways of combating the shame if it exists.
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u/yalamayu 2d ago
Fuck. Bless you. (I say this in a completely secular way LOL.)
Some questions off the top of my head:
Do you fuck with secular mindfulness & meditation?
I'd love to hear about the process of you & your partner coming to agree that you were raised in cults. They must be pretty spectacular and love you a lot to go through that with you?? Or maybe it was chill lol.
Have you been in therapy? If so, I'd be interested to hear how your therapist has responded, what they've suggested, etc.
Thank you for mentioning SGI. I'd never heard of it before. I'm a Buddhist (convert) and a lot of the darker/ fundamentalist/ etc "Buddhist" groups elude me. I think I should know about them!
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u/Emergency_Elephant 2d ago
What do you think is a good way to talk to an audience that might have conspiracy theorists in it about a conspiracy theory based topic?
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u/ScrawnyTreeDemon 15h ago
Not a question, but as someone who was also raised in a household brimming with conspiracism, I'm so glad you got out. It really is just such a horrific funhouse-mirror version of reality. The paranoia is so difficult to untangle. Wishing you strength as you continue with recovery. Not enough people take the psychological damage inflicted by conspiracies seriously.
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u/WondyBorger 10h ago
The fact that your mom is Polish and tunneled in on the Catholic boogeyman is really interesting!
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u/Aehrik 2d ago
Thank you so much for contributing and I think this is extremely on topic (as a non-mod of course lol). Sometimes I see people in this sub over-intellectualising Natalies video(s) by saying this one specifically is "not much of a big throw" and "basically all of this is well known" and it rubs me the wrong way because it doesn't take into account people like you with experiences like this. It seems as though this video was very helpful to you and that exactly is the reason why it is so awesome. I'm glad you found it and can come to terms with the fact that you were raised in TWO (!) cults believing all of this crap. I hope you don't run into too many problems with your family in the future. Glad to have you share this 🩵