I’m honestly just trying to make sense of this. Me and my girl were together for almost two years. Everything felt solid—we had our ups and downs, but nothing that seemed relationship-ending. Recently, I found out she cheated on me… with my homeboy. Someone I’ve known for years and trusted like a brother.

I feel betrayed on both ends, and I can’t wrap my head around why either of them would do this. Was I missing signs? Is this more about me, or just about who they are? Has anyone else gone through something like this and made sense of it?

I’m not even sure what kind of advice I need, I’m just stuck between angry, confused, and heartbroken.

Hi everyone, I'm 24/F born and raised in one of the countries in Asia.

I’m not quite sure if I’m someone who can have sex or deep physical intimacy outside of a committed romantic relationship. Even though I’ve come to understand Western and Latin dating cultures more, I still find it difficult to open myself up emotionally to the idea of sleeping with someone I barely know.

But to be clear, I don’t think those behaviors are wrong or shallow at all. In fact, I often think those cultures handle dating better than Asia culture does. Thinking about it logically, having sex before becoming an official couple could actually be more reasonable—since sex and physical compatibility play such a significant role in relationships. And really, what’s so bad about sex anyway? I’ve always felt that my country is unnecessarily conservative about sexuality, and I believe that’s something we seriously need to change.

Still, the discomfort I feel around having sex before a relationship probably comes from not having much experience, and just not being used to it yet.

Some people might say: “So what’s the big deal?” “If you’re not comfortable, just don’t do it.” “That’s your right. It’s not weird—just a cultural difference. You don’t have to change if you don’t want to.”

And I totally get that. But that’s not really what I’m trying to say.

I want to understand why I feel this discomfort. If I realize that my values and my behavior are not aligned, I’m willing to adjust my behavior.

I do know culture plays a huge role. But I don’t think it’s the only reason. And if it turns out that my discomfort is only due to my cultural upbringing, that would honestly make me feel pretty bad. Why? Because I don’t want to be a passive person who thinks the way I do just because of where I was born. I want to be someone who thinks critically and chooses my values consciously.

What makes it even more frustrating is that I’ve always been angry at the sexist double standards in places like Asia—especially the idea that women must be “pure.” That belief system disgusts me. So if I’m still unconsciously tied to that idea… it makes me feel deeply disappointed in myself.

At the same time, I don’t want to rush into any stance out of rebellion or pressure, and then end up hurting myself—either physically or emotionally. I don’t want to look back and regret it.

Ironically though, I love making decisions fast. That internal contradiction makes this whole thing even harder to navigate.

To be honest, I’m still unsure if I should even talk about this with people around me. Even with my friends from other countries, I hesitate. Especially when it comes to men—I feel like sharing this might make them see me as weak or naive, or even take advantage of me. It feels like digging my own grave sometimes.

Am I overthinking this? Or is it actually smart not to share these thoughts with people I might date in the future?

Anyway, I’m still figuring myself out. I really believe I’ll find my own answers with time. And I hope that when I look back at this post in the future, I’ll be able to smile and feel proud of how far I’ve come.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. I’d love to hear your honest thoughts—especially if you’ve been through something similar. Any advice would be deeply appreciated. And please forgive me if I’m not using Reddit properly—I’m still new here!

So I (19F) recently hung out with my friend, her boyfriend (29M), and a few of his friends. It was the first time I met them, and honestly, I thought her boyfriend seemed nice—easy to talk to, kind of attractive, and just very comfortable to be around.

Throughout the night, he made a few comments that stuck with me. While playing pool, he told me I smelled good. Later, he complimented my eyes. He also touched my waist when trying to squeeze past me, and at one point, he went to 7/11 to buy firewood just because I mentioned wanting a fire. The next day, my friend texted me that her boyfriend offered to take me to check out a car.

That caught me off guard, but I didn’t want to overthink. He and my friend were very touchy and affectionate in front of everyone, so maybe he’s just really into her and trying to make a good impression?

But then I went out drinking with them again, and he kept calling me cute—like, over and over again, even right in front of her. He also bought me a drink when I was about to get one for free from another guy, and gave me his sweater when I was cold. He kept trying to get me to go swimming with him too. And the weirdest part? My friend told me that he asked her to give him my number.

It’s confusing, because I kind of liked the way he looked at me. I’ll admit I was smiling, holding eye contact, and being a little flirty—I wasn’t trying to lead him on, but I did enjoy the attention. I’ve realized I’m drawn to older guys who are upfront about liking me and who go out of their way to show it.

The thing is… I’m not looking for anything right now. I’m young, I’m a virgin, I’ve never even kissed anyone until recently. I’m just living my life and working on becoming the best version of myself before I seriously date. I know I’m valuable and I have a lot of love to give—but I want it to be with someone who’s loyal, committed, and respects me.

He’s in a relationship with my friend. He knows I’m inexperienced. And still, he flirts with me in front of her, brings up cuddling, and acts protective. I told him I wasn’t going to text him, and he said, “Well, I guess I’ll have to text you every day then.”

That doesn’t sit right with me. I’m starting to feel like he’s crossing boundaries and trying to get close to me in a way that’s not okay—but at the same time, I felt kind of special, like why me? I’m torn between feeling flattered and feeling preyed upon. He hasn’t done anything physical, but I feel like he wants to sleep with me eventually.

I guess I’m wondering: Was I wrong for smiling and being friendly? Is he being inappropriate? How do I handle this without hurting anyone or getting dragged into drama I don’t want?

I (20M) have been dating my GF (19F) for about 3 months, but I don’t feel manly at all. I feel like a bitch, and I won’t be able to protect her in public. For reference, I am 6’4 and skinny, and since I am a bit slim, I feel like it will be easier for other guys to try to holler at her and try to steal her from me due to my frame. I don’t know if it’s just social anxiety. She likes how I look, but I don’t buy into it. I’ve been working out the last 2 months. I’ve gained a bit of size, but I still feel the same. Any advice would help me, Am I just overthinking it?

I have been with my ex for 2 years and up until 4 months ago everything in our relationship was going really good. She is kind, easy going, secure, easily entertained, appreciative of everything she has and just a general really good vibe to her. EVERYONE in my family really likes her. She has the most attractive personality type in my opinion. She was very supportive, very sweet and very loving. The one thing she lacked probably the only thing is a lack of communication and she would lie about small things. She was not good at communicating with me what she wanted. I had to guess and at times I got complacent. Sometimes she told me she WAS okay with my actions but she really wasn’t. On a few occasions we would watch a movie together and instead of going to bed with her I would stay up and drink beer and watch podcasts. She wouldn’t say anything to me. She just told me she wanted to go to bed. Then one time the next day she was mad all day and finally told me when I asked over again why she was upset. I stopped that behaviour but I did things that weren’t that great. I loved and supported her but would often not prioritize her. She would come over and I would start doing my chores when she arrives. When she called I often would answer a lot later, I ended up changing that though. I stopped posting her on social media.

Starting 4 months ago I was on a break from work and was spending my time poorly, my money poorly and I ended up going through a state of taking things for granted especially her. I was never happy with what I have. I feel horrible about it. She gave me the world literally. She ended up leaving on a work training trip and cheated on me. She lied and gaslighted me about the whole situation. When I caught her flirting with the man over text I confronted her and she blamed it on my jealousy. She put me through 3 weeks of lying to me, causing anxiety and torment. Finally after a couple days of space I ended up coaxing her to tell me what I already knew. She cheated. I found out she had unprotected sex so she risked me getting stds.

After all of this I somehow still love her because she is so genuine and sweet but I this nasty side to her, it destroyed me. She said sorry but at times she felt she didn’t have to say sorry which boggles my mind since she disrespected in the worst way possible.

I know she would never do it again and she told me she never would if we got back together. I thought I was going to marry her. Our goals in life are slightly different though she is very serious about kids and work and I take life one day at a time I have an artist mindset.

Go easy on me Reddit

I’m genuinely thinking of getting back with her because I’ve never met someone who I loved their personality this much and who they are this much. Most people have things I don’t like but, she had almost nothing wrong except her attitude towards communication.

I know how naive this sounds and I’m aware of this but I feel something different.

Go on a few dates, physical attraction, lots of green flags, and I'm ready to go all in for a woman. I tend to overcommit very early. How do I stop from doing this? It's a bit embarrassing and I have to stop myself from love bombing. I am just fine single (just did 6 months no dating) and I don't get attachment anxiety if things aren't reciprocated right away or I go for a long period without a text. How do you pull back from somebody you have a strong attraction to? Or is it not a big deal and just go with it? I just went on two dates with a woman this weekend (just met two days ago after a few weeks of texting) and I'm ready to ask her to go on a weekend vacation with me in a month, and completely stop talking to other women. We haven't had sex but things have gotten steamy (lot's of kissing/making out).

This happened to me a couple weeks ago and I’m still low key bothered by it and just want to know why someone would act this way. This guy pursued me for 4 years in my DMs but I was never interested because he lived across the country and was 12 years older than me. he was finally in the same city as me and I agreed to meet him for drinks next time he was in. We talked for 2 weeks prior, calls, FaceTime everyday, etc. he showed up to my apartment and insulted me 3 times within 10 minutes. Told me my kitchen smelled weird, I didn’t look like my pictures (I said we face timed??? (And yes I do look like my pictures) and then proceeded to touch my hair and say wow it’s actually soft it looks really rough in your photos. I was so taken back I didn’t even know what to say. After insulting me he told me to come closer to him and he was hugging me and wanted me to sit on his lap. Last thing I wanted to do lol. And kept kissing me. I think im just bewildered and want some male insight bc what the actual fuckkkkk. I should have kicked him out but hindsight is 20/20 and I think I was more confused than anything. I gave it another chance and saw him one more time and I felt really confident in how I looked and he grabbed my stomach in a way to say there’s some skin I can grab I’m pointing it out. Never gave me one compliment but kept trying to touch me. Weird behavior all around. Edit : I’m 30 and he’s 42

i am curious what do people in a rs talk about after a few months? do yall ask each other what they had for bfast/lunch/dinner? if yall dont then what else do yall talk about?

How many dates? Is the third date too soon? When is it too late? What if she had already told you she was looking for a boyfriend? Do I even need to talk about this, or should I just let things flow?

All I know is that I want exclusivity, but I fear it might be too soon. On the other hand, I fear that if I don’t talk about this, she might go for someone else.

I don’t know what to do, as I have 0 experience in dating.

So I started seeing this guy who has so much going for himself feels like he has his whole life figured out while I have no idea what I’m gonna be doing in the next five years i’m not too sure what he sees in me but he says he likes me and it makes me question is he really into me or does he just wanna have sex with me?

I 33F just came home from a first date and I am so confused about my emotions, need to talk to someone.

Short backstory: I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 yrs last May. We kept on living together for four months, during that time I was not really able to process the end of the relationship. After moving out and starting a new job I did my best to heal, allowing all emotions showing up, and trying to process them, especially through journaling. That’s what helped me most I found. Even though I know I’m not 100% over it, I got an on a dating app a few weeks ago, since I really felt like going on dates and meeting new men. I am not searching for a relationship, rather having a good time and some romance an intimacy. I had two first dates before, but we didn’t click, decided not to pursue things any further and everything was fine.

So yesterday I went on my thrid first date. We did not text too much beforehand, I just had the impression that he 40M would be fun to hang with and I think he is very attractive. So we met for a walk in the park and he even brought some small picnic, which I found very considerate. For most of the time the conversation was easy going, sometimes a bit sluggish maybe. We did not click fully, but I for my part enjoyed the date. I had the impression that he was easy going and thoughtful at the same time, which I really liked. We went to his place to get some warmer clothing, since we planned to go to an outdoor party later. There, over a small, improvised dinner, we found a topic that really made us connect. The eye contact intensified and it was definitely mutual. I felt happiness hormones flooding my body and almost felt drunk and high simultaneously, even though I was completely sober. At that point I would have liked to kiss, but I was eager to go to the party as well and more importantly did not want to rush things, so I did not act on it.

Since going to the party meant I would not be able to go home the same day, we already agreed on me staying at his place. The party was nice but also kind of boring. Since it was too early to go to another club and he was really tired, we decided to go back to his place after an hour or so. There the conversation did not really get going. We had drinks and spent the rest of the evening on the couch cuddling and watching some nonsense on youtube. We decided to go to bed early, there we continued the cuddling, got closer and kissed. From my perspective, there was room for improvement regarding the kissing, but it wasn’t bad at all. When he was trying to get sexual, I said I was not sure I wanna go there, so we just switched to sleeping. Or let’s say he did, I couldn’t really fall asleep, lay awake at least half of the night. He was also in my dreams which I find obscure, because usually I don’t dream of other people a lot, and if I do, it’s mostly family.

The next morning I sensed some distance between us. It was kind of okay, since I was not totally convinced we were a good match. At the same time I realized I was definitely interested in meeting him again and exploring where this could lead. That’s why I was kind of anxious to ask him how he feels about meeting again, but I finally found the courage. Basically he said “yeah sure, we can meet again, but from my side it would be just as friends”. As I already expected this, it did not hit me so hard at first. We continued the conversation and he gave me a few reasons, why this is not for him. Like my indecisiveness towards what I want, and also that he met someone not long ago, where he thinks there is potential, even though he does not think it will lead to a relationship. We both agreed it was a nice date, but it’s good we did not have sex.

After that he dropped me off at the train station, we hugged briefly and wished each other well. That’s when it began to sink in: I was somewhat hurt and super sad! Tears came to my eyes I and I didn’t really understand why. Yes, being rejected always sucks and often the ego is hurt. But it felt different. Since I didn’t feel like I had a crush on him the conversations were not always lighthearted and there were a few traits in him that put me off, it felt especially confusing, that his rejection made me so sad. So I sat in the train, weeping for a guy I barely know. Am I really that unstable? Am I needy? Is it normal to cry over someone you just met? And what part of me exactly is it, that got hurt so badly? An why?

Should I have acted differently in situation a or b, so the evening would have turned out differently? Would I be happy or maybe even more hurt?

Did I idealized him, because lately I tend to feel lonely and I’m in need for feeling close to someone? Why did I enjoy him being attentive and caring, even though it was not that extraordinary what he did? My family and friends are loving and they always offer their care to me, why do I crave it from someone else? Why do I need this male attention and confirmation?

I think a fair share of what is so hurtful right now is the hope for a new adventure and intimate connection being destroyed. The hope for a “place” where I could just be and not need to have my shit together.

What is it that make me feel so desperate and sad? And how do I manage not to project the rejection to my own worthiness and capability of being an interesting and desirable partner, without having to hide my insecurities?

Of course I do not expect all the answers, but I’d be happy to hear from people who’ve been in a similar situation or can relate otherwise. I am so confused rn -.-

So I went through a really bad breakup because my ex cheated and it’s taken me almost a year to feel ready to date again.

I decided to try Facebook dating and I wasn’t able to change my age (it said 34 when I am actually 27) because I had made my Facebook account when I was a kid and couldn’t put my real age on there.

I put in my bio that I am actually 27 so it doesn’t seem like I am lying about my age.

Some guy liked my profile but he added this as a comment on my photo “lmao okay but you’re still old though. And ugly too”

Of course he had no pictures of himself on his profile. Just some blank profile that said he was 24 years old.

But im not gonna lie it did sting. Like why go out of your way to comment that?

I had never used apps before now so I feel very discouraged. I already feel vulnerable putting myself out there on an app, my self esteem has taken a hit from my last relationship, and then I get comments like that..

I know I need thicker skin but I feel hurt. How do I not let these kind of remarks get to me?

Girls and boys, I need your advice / ideas. I'm going on a date with a guy I really like, both in their 20s.

I'd like to make some hot moves. Not direct flirting, but something that will stick in his head before he goes to sleep. Do you have any ideas? The last time we saw each other I gave him a kiss on the cheek, but that's too innocent. I'd like something hotter next time.

Btw need ideas like letting him know I'm not wearing panties but not that vulgar...

I’m a 26 year old guy and I’ve gone on two dates in my life. They were both right before the pandemic and were with a friend of a friend, didn’t end up going anywhere. In the years since I’ve only had a handful of online matches that went nowhere as well. So, I’ve never had a girlfriend, have never had sex, and have never kissed a girl. 

I’d be lying if I said this didn’t bother me. It ver much bothers me. I feel so far behind and constantly worry it’ll be like this forever. For a majority of days it’s literally the first thing I think about when I wake up. It’s always in the back of mind and it won’t go away until I gain experience.

I’m not trying to date right now because I’m trying to lose a large amount of weight. I’ve been overweight my whole and am trying to focus on fixing that. I’m actually having success for the first time in years and I think trying to date would sabotage that success. Plus, not being fat anymore will increase my chances of dating.

Unfortunately, best case scenario I reach my goal weight by the time I’m 27. By that time I will still have zero experience. How much will my inexperience impact my ability to date? Will women even want to be with me? It just feels like a big red flag and a dealbreaker for most women. I’m worried she’ll think “Well there must be something wrong with him if he’s never found anyone to be with in 27 years.”

Am I worried about this too much or is it a valid concern?

Hey guys, I would appreciate some advice. I'm 32M and i never dated in my life, so I'm unsure about what's proper and/or expected.

I went on 5 dates with 30F who is just out of a long 10 year relationship. She ended it in November.

Yesterday we finally kissed, or better said, we had 3 mini make out sessions, held hands and cuddled.

I plan to invite her to my place next. We were never inside yet and i think she wants to be more physical with me.

I have no idea where we even stand right now tbh. When we were still in talking stage, she did mention she's not sure what's she's looking for and wants to just see where things go - basically, that she's open for anything or nothing....

Me personally, I don't want a situationship or a short relationship, because i know I'll get attached to her. I want something serious but i also don't need to move fast and I'm prepared to go slow.

My question, how should I act from now on? When I see her again, is it expected for me to greet her with a kiss now? I have no idea. I know i could ask her, but I don't want to sound insecure and unconfident. Which i am inside, but I'm really trying not to show it because i know that girls don't like that. Does the fact that we kissed yesterday mean that we are pass that barier and kissing is now normal / expected?

Anyway, just typing this out helped a bit. Honestly I have no idea what I'm doing guys, I really don't, and I don't want to mess up because i like her 😅. I'm trying to keep it cool and text her good morning and stuff (she's a really good texter) and not ask for dates too quickly.

Yeah, who would've thought, right?

A few weeks ago I (32M) got out of a short but intense "situationship", lasting for two months, with a coworker (29F) from another department. We had been texting near daily, been on dates and sleepovers and had developed what I thought was something emotionally intimate. However, over time it became clear that she was not willing to invest fully. She started distancing herself from me by responding more slowly to texts and acting precious when I saw her at work. I mentally gave her up many times when she acted this way, but there was a sort of cycle to this. She would distance herself (a boundary I respected and didn't push), then a day or two later she would ask me out again and we'd meet up. It seemed like the old game of reverse psychology.

Eventually, as this pattern had repeated itself for the nth time with a more prolonged period of avoidance on her part, I got sick of the merry go-round and just asked her whether she was now pulling out. She let on that she didn't want to take it any further and had apparently been wanting to bring that up with me. I was pretty gutted, but said that I respected her decision. In hindsight I regret not asking for more clarity, as there was no major explanation for it, just a vague comment about not feeling it.

I spent a week working from home to process the whole thing and fortify myself a bit mentally. When I came back to the office I noticed she was suddenly orbiting my side of the office a lot more, stealing glances into my desk as she passed it. I figured maybe she was curious about how I was coping. At one point she stopped by to have a brief conversation and asked me whether I was coming to an upcoming afterwork-event (later I talked to her on friendly, casual terms at this event). As I was leaving the office that same day, I passed by a common break area and saw her having what seemed like a private conversation with another coworker. Someone I know has pursued her in the past. When she noticed me, she turned her back. He ignored me too. I'm probably seeming paranoid, but it just felt off, and I'll explain why.

This guy (~40M) has a bit of a reputation and is known to have hit on pretty much every girl at work. I also overheard him once talking about how he’d been friendzoned by her in the past, and I knew by her admission that they'd gone to a concert together not long before she and I started seeing each other. They often sat together at lunch throughout our relationship as well, always with mutual friends, so I didn’t think much of it at the time. But now, looking back, I feel a little sick at how naive I might’ve been. During the period leading up to the breakup, and thereafter, I've noticed several people from that same circle of friends suddenly acting overly nice with me. Like they were in on something.

I also knew she’d dated (or was at least semi-involved with) someone else in the company before. Someone who ended up in a relationship with another colleague. I never pried into it, but it had always seemed to me like the aftermath of that had been pretty ugly for her. At the time, I thought it was well over and done with. Now I’m wondering if I was just part of her pattern, maybe even part of some attempt at emotional retaliation.

So yeah, my stress levels are pretty high at the moment. I'm trying to move on from the relationship while also having to second-guess people I run into every day. Worst of all, I'm unsure whether I’m just being paranoid or if I’ve been genuinely manipulated by this person. I realize what's now happening (or not) between the two of them is none of my business and I have no intention to involve myself either way, but I'd feel pretty humiliated if it turns out she was just playing me this entire time.

How do I make sense of this mess of a situation and move on? I'm seriously considering quitting the job in order to get away, even if it's a place I have genuinely enjoyed working up to this point. As of now it's all very fresh however, and I might be overreacting, but it feels like a bit too much to handle in a place where I'm supposed to stay productive and level-headed.

TL;DR: Dated a girl at work for two months. She was keeping me in a push-pull dynamic. Eventually she broke it off after I asked for clarity. A week or two later she acts strange and hovers near my desk, seeming like she's trying to either conceal something or control me. I then see her talking privately with somebody she had apparently dated (and rejected) prior to our relationship.

First off I wanna clarify in this situation the FWB isn't someone random off of tinder, it's an actual friend of yours that they've known for a while and they know them/have heard about them (but not dating). Also your not bringing different people all the time like it's just this friend.

If you brought the friend over and had sex in the house (being quiet/respectful) would your parents be mad? Has anybody done this, what was your parents thoughts?

Hi all, I'm currently talking to a guy I met on a dating app. Genuinely his personality is great - the convo isn't forced, he's engaging, doesn't take ages to reply and also isn't cringey which is my biggest ick in talking stages. I find myself waiting for his message bc it's that engaging which isn't a common thing I've found. However, when he sent me photos of himself I wasn't 100% feeling it. He's been candid with me about his weight loss journey and says he's still got weight to lose so is it one of those 'wait on it' glow up moments? I don't really know what to do past this point lol.

We met through mutual friends; talked a bit; made eyecontact; told her male friend I am interested in her. The guy went to gauge and said it’s okay to make a move as she is also interested. She asked for my number; at the end of the party she kissed me twice (she initiated).

Next day I texted her and she sent a short; dry response. I tried again and asked her out; she only replied 8 hours later and kinda ignored my question and she just asked another boring; dry question nothing to do with me asking her out. A couple of dry texting the next couple of days and that’s it.

Is she still interested or just a bad texter ? She sent me the last message but it was so dry I kinda gave up and haven’t sent her anything in 4 days in hope that she would message me herself which didn’t happen. Should I still send a final more playful; flirty message or just leave her alone ?

Been seeing this guy just to hookup, here and there, for about a year. In the hidden folder on my phone, I have sexual videos in there with previous flings. Since I've taken sexual videos with the current guy as well, I keep these in the hidden folder too. While he was over last week, he asked to see one of them. I angled myself while going into my hidden folder so he doesn't see any of the other stuff in it. He then asked what's in my hidden folder, and I was trying to pass it off as just nudes (cuz I don't wanna be tactless and say it's videos with other guys). I was like "it's just other stuf with me in it", and he was like "I wanna see". I tried dodging it by saying I'll show him later. To this, he said "you're so secretive".

That was the end of that convo. But I have a feeling he may lowkey know I have videos with other guys, because a couple months ago, he was at my place and asked to see another video we had recently taken at that time. When pulling that video up, I remember he asked how many other videos I have like that one. I sorta lied and said "just this one". He said "yeah, right" and we moved on from that convo.

Things are very casual with us, so I wonder if he's just jealous or something, when he was over last week? Because I feel like this stuff is sorta personal to ask about. I'm lowkey worried that he's asking because he wants to watch my other videos.. that'd be weird and I'd never show him.

So I’ve started noticing a pattern in my dating history. Mostly that I come off as a bit too friendly—like I’m giving off a vibe that I’ve already decided this person is more of a friend than someone I’m actually interested in romantically.

On almost all of my dates, it was the girl who had to initiate the kiss or make the first move. Only then do I suddenly switch into a more flirty mode, kiss back, or show more interest. But if that moment never happens, the date usually ends with them saying they’d love to stay friends. And weirdly enough, they actually do try to stay in touch. I know most people hear that line and it just goes quiet after—but in my case, they mean it.

There’ve also been times when girls approached me first or flirted with me—and honestly, I can probably count on one hand the times I started flirting. And even then, it usually happened when I had no real intention behind it, I was just in a good mood and the casual back-and-forth felt fun.

I guess I’m not sure how to break out of my own head and actually show a girl that I’m into her. That I find her attractive, interesting, and that I’m not just here to be polite or friendly. I tend to walk into dates too casually, almost like I’m trying not to show too much too soon. And I don’t really know why that is or where it comes from.

i realised the reason non of any of my datings worked out was because of peoples influences

firstly, i always tell my ex bestfriend about it. she will say stuffs like “you’re chasing him too much, he’s not interested, he’s just talking to you for some works, he’s playing hard to get ” and i always ends up leaving cause i believe im being taken advantage of.

actually this started by the time i was in highschool. this guy and i we’re newly dating like 2months. and i remember calling him once to ask him how is he since i think he was sick or something and i just wanted to show i cared and my friends manipulated me and told me that “he’ll start taking advantage of you. he’ll take you for granted, he’ll use you” and my dumbass got influenced and brainwashed.

and this one time when i replied to a guy in highschool. back when i didn’t even own a phone, from my moms phone and my mom told me “he’ll see me as cheap and characterless and that im so easy” just for replying to a guys text on my moms phone????

like ive been manipulated and brainwashed my whole life by single women. who cannot hold down a relationship???

on the other hand my cousin sister who is very happily married always tells me to talk and be nice to men. be polite and stuffs. and she has a great marriage where her man literally worships the ground she walks on.

also this one time when this guy was asking me for my number on the first day of meeting me. i gave it but one of my friends manipulated literally started shaming me for being cheap???

and this issue is not restricted for women alone but even men. a lot of guys are like very caring and show their feelings when it’s the both of you but once their friends are around they’re just complete jerks and cold.

at this point i feel like if you really want to start seriously dating you need to befriend other people that are in serious committed loving relationships.

modern dating is already difficult enough and getting shamed for just being nice to the opposite gender is getting boxed into being a “pick me”.

also, i’m a feminist and always and forever will be

I am starting to lose hope. I’m a 33F, great job, my own home, great friends, am good craic and pretty decent looking ( above average).

For some reason, I’ve never had confidence in my dating life and I didn’t put myself out there as much as I should have. Now looking back now I feel like I wasted time and missed lots of opportunities. I often had people fancy me in the past but was too shy or nervous to embark on a relationship. In the last few years this has totally dwindled. I also never had the guts to make a move if I liked someone. I am looking at my friends getting engaged and married. There are very few single people left in our circles. Now I feel lonely, sexually inexperienced and fear I’ve missed my chance. I would really love to meet someone to share my life with. I would like to have a family. I feel I am a good person and have a lot of love to give. I feel despair. What should I do? Is there still hope for me?