So I sent the text.

[u/alphaofthewoodsr3]

I sent a text to my father explaining to him why I don’t want to speak to him. It came after he found out I’m pregnant and tried to call me (I had his number blocked but apparently you can still leave a voicemail - which is super annoying). I unblocked his number, sent the text, blocked it again).

I feel better now that he knows why I blocked him but I’m still feeling awful. For context, he treats everyone poorly, will drink and drive - drove to my brothers house extremely drunk to pick up his kids) and have treated my mother horrifically over the years (they are not together- haven’t been for about 30 years) but she would still do a lot for him and is just a nasty man to be around.

I text him saying why I don’t want to talk to him and here I am. Just sitting here. I am deciding to better myself but it’s hard.

[u/pitzarat]

Proud of you for standing up for yourself ❤️

[u/alphaofthewoodsr3 → u/pitzarat]

Thank you so much ❤️

[u/yogurt_feind]

Cutting someone off is always hard, you did the right thing. Give yourself some space to breath and process it. You did great! And it only gets better from here. Awesome job ❤️

[u/alphaofthewoodsr3 → u/yogurt_feind]

Really good advice, thank you ❤️

[u/These_Lingonberry635]

You’ll never change your father’s (or anyone else’s) behavior— you have neither the right, nor the responsibility, nor the power.

You can only control your own behavior, and that’s exactly what you did, for your own health and the health of your child.

Well done.

Lois W. would be so proud of you.

[u/alphaofthewoodsr3 → u/These_Lingonberry635]

That’s very true, and I’m glad you pointed it out. It isn’t my responsibility despite me feeling like it was.

Thank you.

[u/torontoballer2000]

You're so strong.
Build the life you want and get so stable and balanced.

Then, some day, help others.

[u/alphaofthewoodsr3 → u/torontoballer2000]

Thank you. You made some good and valid points. Stable and balanced are good words that I will aim towards too. Thank you!

[u/kendr444]

i am SO proud of you! i have been debating calling my mom and cutting things off with her after she has done some…pretty bad things to me over the course of my 23 years of living. you have actually inspired me. i know it’s probably hard now, but you will feel better in the long run for standing up for yourself.

[u/alphaofthewoodsr3 → u/kendr444]

Aw thank you so much! I don’t feel good but I feel so much better now that I have communicated and given reasons and explanations to do what I did. I sent my close friends, my brother and partner the message and they all pointed out different things he’s done which I forgot. All said how fair the message was and I think the validation from them was enough for me to realise that I did the right thing. I have barely thought about him today - despite me thinking about him constantly- so it shows.

I definitely think communication is key and like you said, standing up for yourself will empower you and make you realise how better off you will actually be.

Good luck in whichever you decide to do!