r/DivorcedBirds • u/thesweetestberry • Mar 04 '25
Angry Bird Divorce “Take a good look for the last time, Paul! You will never find another bird who looks like me!”
1.1k
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 25d ago
Angry Bird Divorce Though only 6 years old, Prince Frederick has been named the new Pope, negating his betrothal to the daughter of the Duke of Vladestok. War with the Prussians is inevitable now.
780
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 24d ago
Angry Bird Divorce This is Jason. He is going to his ex wife's house to stab her.
351
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/jeeplet18 • Feb 05 '25
Angry Bird Divorce "That's it George! I've had enough with your gambling! First you lost the car, now you blew all of little Timmy's college fund! Get OUT!"
561
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 9d ago
Angry Bird Divorce After finding out he would never see his kids again, Emilio welcomed death. But the predators could sense the darkness that had consumed him and wanted nothing to do with it.
595
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/afeeney • Feb 16 '25
Angry Bird Divorce Emma practiced for her dating profile video, but every topic she picked, she ended up talking about how much she hated that jerk Paul, for leaving her with four eggs a week from hatching.
654
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/cheezie_toastie • Jan 26 '25
Angry Bird Divorce Scott was out for a relaxing lunchtime flight when suddenly, he saw her. Amy. His wife. His bride. Making out with some common pigeon. How dare she.
769
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • Feb 26 '25
Angry Bird Divorce "You slept with a poor person?! In our bed?!" "It was spure of the moment! There was no time to get a motel!" "A motel? LIKE A FUCKING PLEBIAN?!"
228
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/rehabforcandy • 14d ago
Angry Bird Divorce Roy’s incessant political rants finally made Trish snap
460
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/1RegalBeagle • Mar 05 '25
Angry Bird Divorce Get therapy they said, well maybe this was his therapy, Diane!
472
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 9d ago
Angry Bird Divorce When Ben had agreed to "tie her up and do whatever he wanted to her" Kim thought their romance may be rekindling. She did not expect that what he wanted to do with her was tell her he was moving out and make her watch him pack his things.
183
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • Feb 20 '25
Angry Bird Divorce "Look me in the eye and say nothing is going on between you and Rebecca. ... ... ... Yeah, that's what I thought."
316
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 18d ago
Angry Bird Divorce Ethan laughed maniacally as the church was engulfed in flames. Abigail would not be getting remarried today after all.
260
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • Mar 03 '25
Angry Bird Divorce "Passive resistance! If you want to divorce me you'll have to carry me to the courthouse!"
282
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/rehabforcandy • 6d ago
Angry Bird Divorce “Phil… Phil… PHIL! She’s not gonna talk to you. Give us your phone.”
321
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/whiskyzulu • Mar 01 '25
Angry Bird Divorce Hootilda signed the papers, her talons dragging over the parchment. “There. You’re free to go play house with that little fledgling.” Gary smirked. “Jealous?” Hootilda chuckled darkly. “No, just wondering how long before she realizes you need to take the blue pills to perform.”
140
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/lady_grey_fog • Feb 21 '25
Angry Bird Divorce Lady Amherst was through with Lord Amherst's wandering wings when the cleaning finches were in the drawing room. But try as she might to maintain a stoic face, she could not help a solitary tear from betraying her emotions.
270
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/whiskyzulu • Feb 14 '25
Angry Bird Divorce Tara had been modeling at Fashion Week in New York City when she got the news that her ex was getting remarried to her once best friend, Gisele Bündchen. Her heart was broken. Joaquim had left Tara without explanation, just an empty house, papers to sign, and a sticky note that said, "Sorry, -J."
375
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/jeeplet18 • Feb 13 '25
Angry Bird Divorce Linda is telling everyone that will listen, and even the ones who wont, about George's gambling problem.
291
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/whiskyzulu • Feb 19 '25
Angry Bird Divorce Gina filed for divorce, citing “excessive handsomeness.” “I can’t live like this,” she sobbed in court. “Every date night, the waitstaff flirted with him! I once caught my grandma winking at him.” Her husband, Fabio, flicked his perfect hair. The judge sighed. “Yeah… I get it.” Divorce granted.
271
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/whiskyzulu • Feb 09 '25
Angry Bird Divorce It was a low point for Monty. After being kicked out of the loft by Elliot for his new boy toy, he had found a cheap rental for recently kicked-to-the-curb mates. Monty was forlorn. He used to be Elliot's boy toy. Sure, he had put on some weight. But was he not still a total hottie tot hot tot?
351
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/BirdWalksWales • 27d ago
Angry Bird Divorce He was gonna show Janice! He was gonna show them all! Just you wait!
282
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • Feb 11 '25
Angry Bird Divorce "You can't arrest me for breaking into my own house! I never agreed to any separation much less that I would move out!"
295
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/karavanjo • 3d ago
Angry Bird Divorce Kevin couldn't believe Sarah got the penthouse in the settlement while he was stuck in the basement apartment. His daily protests from the ventilation shaft fell on purposefully deaf ears as she enjoyed her new view and newfound freedom
203
Upvotes
r/DivorcedBirds • u/tybaltveria • Mar 02 '25
Angry Bird Divorce Nigel's wife left him. He has poop on his puff and anger in his heart.
242
Upvotes