I’m a first time cat owner, and about two weeks ago I took in my adorable baby boy, who is about 10 weeks old now. He mostly wants to play, but does sleep beside me and on top of me when he doesn’t nap in his own bed that’s besides my bed.
Anyway… I like don’t understand when to pet my baby. I’ve watched all the videos, read all the reddit posts, and I’ve gathered that I respect his space and let him come to me for pets, but others say to pet him to teach him your affection level. Sometimes people say to baby your kitten, others say to pretend you don’t care so that they come to you when they’re ready.
As of now I talk to him a lot, offer out my finger to see if he does anything with that, but he never does. Sometimes I just pet him while he eats to normalize the sensation. I don’t want to overstep but also fear him becoming solitary because I never showed physical affection in the effort to not overstep. Sorry I overthink everything related to my kitten and just don’t want to be a bad dad to him. Thanks everyone :)
It's a bit of a balancing act between giving him his space so he feels safe and respected, while also giving him enough attention to show that you are "safe" and care about him. Reaching out 80% of the way and letting him move to you is a good way to do this because it shows that you are trying to interact without invading his personal space. A couple quick pets while he eats or walks past you is also good. Basically try to pet him whenever you see a good opportunity, and if he pulls away just let him go. It sounds like he trusts you if he naps near/on you, so you are already doing something right. Just don't give him reasons not to trust you and things will be fine.
On a related note, if you are able to touch his paws frequently and give his fingers a little squeeze to pop his claws out then that will be VERY helpful for the future when you want to trim his claws. Get him used to having his paws handled as much as possible. This is usually easier if you tire him out with some play time first and then hold him while he rests.
I give that advice to every new cat owner I meet because I had a cat who DID NOT LET ANYONE touch her paws ever. The vet techs refunded my claw trimming fees once because they couldn't even clip her claws without losing their own blood. I have had my current cat since she was 8 weeks old, and I play with her paws all the time. She doesn't even fight it, and I think she kind of enjoys having her claws trimmed now.
I feel your pain! the vet has also refunded me twice haha I only recently found two vet techs who can get the job done. he doesn’t get physically aggressive, but he’s the most slippery lil fella so they were worried about nicking him
I had a friend who had a “hands off” approach and didn’t want the kitten to get too “attached” and as a cat, that kitten became as big of an asshole as my friend 😅 all my kittens I’ve had I’ve always given infinite pets and cuddles and they are affectionate and wonderful as can be 🥰
when we got our kitten, she was so tiny (1.1 pounds) i was afraid to let her have run of the house, mostly because we have 3 big dogs. i was terrified they’d accidentally step on her.
well, my solution was to keep her in the bedroom with us for about a week and a half, and then in the bedroom/hallway until she was 3 pounds/3 months old - so basically just my husband and i for a month.
it took her months to stop wailing if she was ever left alone in the house (if my husband and i dared to leave at the same time), and she’s currently 2 years old and the clingiest cat i’ve ever owned lol. she did grow out of the mournful wailing when we both leave, but she definitely sticks next to my husband or myself 24/7. if we’re in the living room, she is. when we go to bed, she follows and gets in bed until we get up. i’ve never seen anything like her lol, i love her so much
the dogs have never come close to stepping on her btw, i may have overreacted 😂
It's a kitten. You can love on that kitten all the time.
When the kitten is like 6 to 8 months old it will become a teenager and will mostly likely pull back a bit and be more inclined to insist on having more space. Then's the time to start respecting the kitten's boundaries.
pet that baby! i’m a firm believer that you can’t overlove babies of any species, and all of mine have turned out fine (some of them may be extra loving and maybe a bit clingy at times lol)
For sure pet him whenever he comes to you to snuggle or sleep.
But you can also pet him when he comes to you and you're not sure what he wants. Like you can pet him as a greeting. It's also nice to pet him when you leave and come back to the house, or when you wake up in the morning. Petting is a "hi/bye" thing as much as it is a snuggle thing.
If he sniffs your finger when you offer it, then let him sniff for a second and then move it to his cheek to pet him. He'll probably start to come in for more pets.
Don't try petting him in the middle of playing, or when it's clear he wants to play. I would also say not to pet him when he's eating, but I guess he's okay with that. It's just that he's busy and focused on something else, so it seems like an inconvenient time to me.
For nail clipping, someone suggested getting him used to you touching his paws. That's a good idea, but you should also just clip his nails while he's asleep. He'll wake up in the middle of it but you can usually get a couple of paws done at a time.
Just pet him. Don’t make such a big issue out of it. I’m sorry these videos you’ve been watching are so confusing. Throughout the day, pick him up and give him a little cuddle and a quick kiss and then set him down. He will let you know when he’s had enough petting. Watch Jackson Galaxy’s TV show “my cat from hell“. He often times will point out to people what they’re doing wrong with petting and holding their cats. I think he’d be a good resource for you.
most boy cats are very affectionate. I haven’t heard of any boy cats that aren’t anyway my little guy like to be on me when I sleep and I would maul him with kisses now he can’t get enough of it and even puts his head up so I can kiss the top of his head lol they also say if they sleep on you, they are saying that you are their property
My small boy kitten hates kisses and any affection unless it’s from my dad. Remember, it’s best to let your cat adapt to your lifestyle, not the other way around. But that’s not to say don’t change anything, I just wish someone told me that when I got my kitten a few months ago. As he gets older more of his personality will come through. Just play it by ear for now
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