r/LinkedInLunatics • u/Jonesy-2010 • 19h ago

Agree? Guess Tesser is going through somethinf

Post image

Tesser gave this group a shout out to boost his linkedin algorithm. I have no words and am amazed. Maybe we should help him out?

tesstimony

548 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

54 comments sorted by

154

u/olderthanbefore 19h ago

In typical fashion, he fucked up phased when he meant fazed. And his job is words. Which sane person would hire him ?

32

u/NASA_Herpetologist 17h ago

It's also y'all, not yall.

11

u/Notacutefemboygamer 14h ago

Nah he meant like we haven’t done enough damage to bring him to his next phase. He’s still in phase one. We gotta up the ante guys 💪💪

4

u/olderthanbefore 8h ago

From a cocoon to a butterfly, or something like that I guess 

17

u/ibuprophane 19h ago

Man, it’s 2025. We all make typos and mistakes, but FFS, this is like the one thing AI can help you get 100% right and for free. Blows my mind.

224

u/pixelatedCorgi 19h ago

How can a self-proclaimed “Career Whisperer” need a job

That’s like going to a financial planner for investment advice and them asking you for stock tips

36

u/honvales1989 Agree? 18h ago

What is even a career whisperer?

67

u/pixelatedCorgi 18h ago

He gently whispers the URLs of Indeed job posts to prospective clients.

23

u/honvales1989 Agree? 18h ago

I thought the guy just whispered phrases like ‘Agree?’ or ‘This is what x thought me about B2B sales’

7

u/pickle-matrix Jonathan Tesser 11h ago

"double yew double yew double yew dot indeed dot com forward slash ..."

20

u/Prince_Jellyfish 15h ago

I’m a career whisperer. Allow me to demonstrate:

career

12

u/Chaos_Engineer 13h ago

I guess it's derived from "horse whisperer", so a recruiter who teaches people to get the trust and respect of interviewers, instead of just hitting the interviewers with a riding crop.

That's a rookie mistake, interviewers can be proud and stubborn creatures, and the more you hit them, the less they'll want to offer you a job.

6

u/extemporizatron 9h ago

to be fair, he’s more of a career whimperer at the moment

2

u/TheGothWhisperer 7h ago

It's like my profession, but it doesn't pay as good

1

u/pjs-1987 1h ago

With his help, you can have a really tame career

33

u/mick_the_raven 19h ago

Legit LOL on that one

5

u/townmorron 15h ago

He doesn't need a job, a job needs him

2

u/haver_of_friends 2h ago

It’s what he wants to be so he’s thinking if I make this my LinkedIn title surely someone will validate me and hire me for this weird hyper specific role that I made it up my head

1

u/Lonely-Dragonfruit98 7h ago

I guess the title “local nonce” was already taken.

91

u/Nihilus-Wife 18h ago

Big 7 likes buddy! We’re helping mad large 👌🏽🥴🙄

35

u/RykerSanQuentin 18h ago

The algo is out to get him. He recently posted about it. Plus, one of those likes is his own.

10

u/Nihilus-Wife 18h ago

Lmfao 🤣👌🏽🙌🏼

1

u/Ambitious_Big_1879 4h ago

I need him to whisper about career to me bad.

28

u/macci_a_vellian 16h ago

The career whisper needs us to help him get a job?

6

u/zuzucha 11h ago

He needs to pipe the fuck down. Change his title to some job / skill that actually exists and start applying instead of keeping up this lunatic BS.

3

u/jgalexander91 6h ago

Can you imagine as a recruiting manager wanting to hire him over someone with the same set of skills? He’s an emotionally stunted manchild with an ego befitting someone much better than him.

It’s bad for business having someone in your company sounding off on LinkedIn.

He’s become unhirable.

30

u/Drprim83 19h ago

I just feel sorry for this guy at this point.

6

u/OkTemperature8080 15h ago

nah I don’t

2

u/TheGothWhisperer 7h ago

I do, but in a schadenfreude kind of way

8

u/RykerSanQuentin 19h ago

With all the exposure, he'll land a job in no time. He's been playing chess all along.

8

u/lettucelover4life 15h ago

Bro can’t hang on to a job for more than a few months lol

8

u/cursedkyuubi 17h ago

Who's really benefiting? Him from being mentioned in this reddit? Or us on his post.

At the time of writing, it looks like he is benefiting more since there are over 30 upvotes here and he only has 7 reactions

7

u/NegotiationOk4424 16h ago

He is so tortured. And he still needs a job. 

5

u/HeyItsTheMJ 14h ago

Ugh. This creepy fuck again.

6

u/Stee_Serpent 14h ago

Teamwork makes the meme work Keep going Tesser

4

u/BenNHairy420 15h ago

Love that he calls it torture, amazing that it gets to him like that lol

13

u/edroyque 18h ago

It would be a wholesome plot twist if all this lunacy actually helped to land him a new job

4

u/haywardpre 14h ago

When is he not? Dude is a professional pick me loser. The only job he hasn’t gotten fired from yet.

6

u/Bill92677 18h ago

One man's torture is another u/reddit's entertainment.

6

u/Jonesy-2010 17h ago

I personally did not know tesser was this popular. I think this thread has more engagement than his linkedin post.

3

u/SoldTerror 9h ago

CringeLord is back.

2

u/deadpools_dick 17h ago

I am the Career Wheesperer!

2

u/ThreeCharsAtLeast 4h ago

Trade Offer!

We recive:

Your LinkedIn … content

You recive:

An algorithm boost (maybe)

2

u/Detroit-1337 4h ago

wonder how many times the #tessticle refreshes this page to see how many times he’s mentioned here?

#tesstimony

2

u/6amrainclouds 2h ago

I found this sub through tesser's post. #grateful

6

u/swpotato 19h ago

And never begin a sentence with and.

9

u/cireddit 19h ago

Why not? This article on Meriam-Webster suggests it's perfectly fine and has been so for a long time.

Genuine question, by the way. I literally can't find an authoratative source that suggests it's incorrect start a sentence with and except as a matter of style, not grammar.

6

u/swpotato 18h ago

You are correct. My strict ass English teacher in junior high with the full backing of her elite pedigree must have had a bone to pick with using conjunctions at the beginning of sentences. I think there were some others along the way that supported this as a no no as well. It still stings to this day every time I see a sentence begin with 'and'.

1

u/cireddit 5h ago

Fair enough, I was genuinely curious. Thanks for the answer! 

0

u/Herbie1122 18h ago

It’s fine as long as an independent clause follows.

2

u/kelpieconundrum 14h ago

Huhh, maybe the rule exists to prevent fragments. And just has been misinterpreted. (Ick, I see why)

4

u/deletemorecode 19h ago

Any PR is good PR 🤷‍♂️