r/MadeMeCry • u/Railionn • 6d ago
Heartbreaking clip of a dad who has to explain his son that mom passed away in the 9/11 WTC attacks.
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u/sandy_85 6d ago
Oh my god. This is so painful to watch. Can't even imagine the pain of the dad and the son. This is heartbreaking.
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u/Soniquethehedgedog 6d ago
I had to explain to my young children that they’re grandmother passed and it is brutal. I feel for that dad and the boy
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u/scandr0id 11h ago
Hell, I'm almost 30 and just cried in the car earlier because I miss my dad who died in 2002. I can't have been much older than little man here and watching this really cut deep.
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u/Nyetoner 6d ago edited 6d ago
It is.. and these are the stories from the safer countries. Right now there's about 40.000 kids in Palestine and about 600.000 orphan children in Sudan that feel the same, but all the while still not being safe themselves. They live in poverty and danger while dealing with losing their parents, family, friends, and neighbours. And then we can speak about all over the world, and even the smallest most peaceful nations experience both aggression and violence, accidents, and death. Sometimes it's nature, but people are their own biggest enemy. A moment like this is just as sad as for all those other kids around the world, they just tend to be lost in the masses of other stories. I feel sad for the boy, for the family, for the mother. He is also lucky because he have a safe place to live, he still has family and a very good dad. The emotional reaction this kid has should teach us that this is how every kid feels in this situation, and in different ways..most adults too..
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u/HillMomXO 6d ago
I’m sorry but the thought of my children asking my SO to find another wife right after being told I was dead and gone is haunting me 😭
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u/Lovq 6d ago
As hard as that thought is, think of it this way: the only reason your child would immediately be asking to “replace” you is because you were/are such a huge & important part of their life. They can’t bare the thought of your presence being removed, they love you so immensely that they need something to fill that void. It only speaks volumes to who you are/were & actually means that you were a very very good & loving parent. Obviously they really only want you, but they absolutely need & deserve more than only one person loving & caring for them everyday (& for this reason I lecture my husband that he needs to try & find someone -if I died- because my child & him deserve all the love this hard world can muster.)
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u/Upset_Tangerine009 10h ago
That’s actually really sweet. When my dad passed away when I was 13, my mom never found someone else. I was raised my her and my grandma (whom she had helping raise me since I was a baby). My uncle came to live with us for a while to help out and that really made me feel a sense of peace.
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u/dirtyhippie62 6d ago
Kids don’t know any better, it’s not personal. Their level of thinking is “oh no, mom is gone, but I need mom. If my mom isn’t available, we have to find another mom, because I need a mom.” Obviously their own mom is preferably but if they understand they can’t have their own mom, the next best thing is another mom.
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u/WhereIsLordBeric 6d ago
When I was six, my grandmother died and my mom explained to me what death was. She told me she was sad her mum had died.
I remember thinking, 'Wow, I hope MY mom doesn't die because then who would give me food?'.
I am now in my 30s and my mom has cancer and she is literally all I think about. I have my own baby now and in the interminably quiet moments of having a baby when you are alone with your thoughts for hours every day - contact napping or waking up for the fifth time in the night - my mind keeps going back to my mom.
Your kids might be too young to know now, but you are absolutely the most important person to them. There's a reason care home attendants say most old people call out for their mothers in their dying days.
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u/Kim8mi 4d ago
I'll be honest I didn't cry from the video, cause I could see the boy didn't understand the depth of what his father was telling him, which is to be expected, but I'm in tears with your comment. I've been having constant reminders that my parents are getting old and sometimes all I think about is how scared I am of losing them. I wish the best for you and your family.
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u/WhereIsLordBeric 4d ago
Isn't it wonderful and painful and beautiful to love and to be loved?
All the best to yours too <3
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u/hamiltonguy 6d ago
You can definitely tell that the child doesn't understand the full gravity of what just happened and all he can see is that his daddy is in pain and the child wants to fix it. I'm his mind the only thing he can conceptualize being the fix is to get his dad a new wife so that he will be happy again like he was with mommy. It's actually a VERY touching conversation and quite a thoughtful offer of the boy.....to put his dad's needs for a companion of his own needs to want his mommy back. Really beautiful.
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u/Upset_Tangerine009 10h ago
Speaking from a child development perspective, children need that parental figure and love. The boy just wanted to feel the love his mother had given him. He wanted the comfort and needs it to grow.
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u/cashmerescorpio 2h ago
I agree, but he's so little he's not thinking clearly. I'd bet he thought his new mom would be just like his old one. He doesn't understand you can't replace humans like that. He doesn't understand death. Heaven is just a place people go that he can't visit. Children speak so plainly without thought or filter. I'm sure they had many more conversations about it, and it would probably take him years to fully understand what actually happened. I hope his dad didn't re marry quickly, though. My partner and I have already discussed it, and if one of us dies, especially if it happens when our kids are young, we will not re marry for a looooooong time if ever. I personally think doing quickily so is disrespectful to the person/relationship. It should be a year absolute minimum before they even start dating, and even that's soon. I've seen people dating weeks after a spouse has died! Saying all that, this post is about a boys grief and the loss of his mother. I'm just sad for him, and I hope he was able to grow up happy and well-adjusted. I'm sure his mother would've wanted that above all.
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u/Mentatminds 6d ago
10,000 children lost a parent or parents on 9/11. Harshest statistic from that day.
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u/Used4KillingTime 6d ago
Dude why in the fuck is this being recorded…
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u/bendubberley_ 6d ago
As OP states, it was supposedly for a documentary, still doesn't change the fact it shouldn't be recorded.
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u/Piddly_Penguin_Army 6d ago edited 6d ago
I remember watching this documentary years and years ago. It wasn’t too long after the attacks. It really doesn’t feel out of place, and if I remember correctly a large part of the documentary is about child grief and how to explain 9/11 to a child in an appropriate way. I was 6 and live on LI, and remember my dad having to explain that he didn’t have an office anymore and why he was going to so many funerals. Hopefully this scene helped another person who had to present bad news to a child.
Edit: I found the documentary, it is called “Telling Nicholas” and was released in 2002.
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u/Used4KillingTime 6d ago
Yeah I saw OP state it’s part of a documentary but unless it’s a documentary on the things that absolutely should be kept private and not recorded then distributed to the public, there’s no excuse.
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u/bendubberley_ 6d ago
I cannot imagine the kid potentially having to watch this back knowing THIS is the moment he found out his mother was killed in 9/11, so fucked up man.
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u/EquivalentCounty7570 6d ago
You guys seriously need to leave your basements. It was for a documentary. Do you know what a documentary is? Do you think the man didn't know this was being recorded?
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u/northdakotanowhere 6d ago
They had microphones on. There was a Dr. that was listening in. He may have done this for his son. The way he handled it is something we should all see
The only thing I'd argue about is who released it. Back in 2001 we had no concept of the internet being forever. Maybe he didn't want the documentary out for this reason. 🤷♀️
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u/rosiehigurashi 11h ago
Serves a purpose. Shows the gravity of 9/11 and effects on victims family. Also teaches parents how to describe a loss to their children
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u/Fancy-Noise-7557 5h ago
I tend to agree with you. Although I’ve been working with TV production for the past 25 years, mostly documentaries and reality shows, this is a delicate subject to go about with such a young kid. I read the article posted by someone else in this thread, and it is quite clear that Nicholas, by that time 17 yo, felt that being part of this documentary so soon after, and having to share such a life altering and devastating moment with a film crew and subsequently the rest of the world added to his mental issues in the years after 9/11/the loss of his mom. Adding to this, the film crew approached his family only two days after on 9/13 - while his mom was still missing, and his family was still very vulnerable and probably not in the right state of mind to make any smart decissions on this docu project: https://www.newsweek.com/story-behind-911-documentary-finding-nicholas-67353 - while I agree it’s an important story to tell, and I believe I would probably have been onboard with doing this story back then, I think - at least in my country - the production companies and broadcasters in general have much more emphasis on ethics today, especially when it comes to children on cam. I don’t think we would have made this docu today, tbh.
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u/cashmerescorpio 2h ago
Yes, this didn't sit right with me. It was predatory. They could've alteast blurred their faces/names or gone the audio only route. Or waited to give the family time to process it. Especially the dad calls out "Dr Linda, I think I need you" or something to that effect. They must've said they'd help him, and she just doesn't move. While I agree it best coming from the dad and not a stranger, the dad was clearly struggling. Normally, I'm a big proponent of releashing most of the files related to 9/11. THIS should've remained private. They could've interviewed him later, maybe, but to film this moment of a child finding out his mother is dead, it feels like a line has been crossed.
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u/Reptarticle 5d ago
Exactly, I just don't understand in what mindset you'd be in to want people to hear this.
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u/TelephoneBusy9594 6d ago
I saw this documentary soon after 9/11. It documented the family raw from the mom being missing. I searched this documentary for years and never found it
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u/BeautyAndTheDekes 6d ago
Do you remember what it was called? I’m sort of morbidly intrigued by it.
EDIT: Ignore me, just saw OPs comment with it.
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u/Speed009 6d ago
honestly...why would anyone wanna do that? feels like something a modern "influencer" would do smh
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u/freddie_delfigalo 6d ago
Even though I don't like that this was filmed, I do think it shows how to break news like this to a child. When he interrupted and mentioned the magic street you can get lost down my heart broke. It's si hard because you don't want the child thinking mums just on holidays and will be right back but you also don't want to give the kid a deep look into death at a young age.
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u/liburacci 6d ago
Fuck..ill have a meeting w my boss in 30 mins. Now shes gna be weirded out by why im crying. (44yo grownass m)
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u/XJollyRogerX 6d ago
Man I hear you. I have two sons, the oldest about his boys age. The thought of having to ever do something like this is absolutely soul crushing.
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u/Sukithearsonist 6d ago
fuck osama bin ladin for doing this and fuck george bush for doing even more henious shit in iraq and afghanistan
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u/Wide_Caramel255 6d ago
I remember the difficult moment when I had to tell my 11-year-old son, who was away in Chicago with my mom, that Daddy would not be coming back from work. 💔💔💔💔 My husband was a doctor, and he passed away in his sleep after working an overnight shift. 🥲🥲🥲🥲 I miss him so much; I see him in my dreams every day.
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u/JustHereToWatch55 5d ago
That must have been really hard. I hope you're doing okay.
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u/Wide_Caramel255 5d ago
oh thank you 🙏 so much, I had a covid, stroke ( couldn’t talk or walk for a month) and pneumonia 2023 and 2024 had a heart attack fall and broke my shoulder and damaged my nerve in my whole are, I can’t get dressed take a shower and got fired bec my std is finished and I am only 48yo I have a dog 2 cats and I am raising a new born kitten 🐈⬛)))) Bless your heart ❤️
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u/whatwouldhagriddo 6d ago
I remember seeing this on the news in 2001 and sobbing for that little boy. Over two decades later, it still makes me cry.
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u/ShallotLast3059 6d ago
As a father of two boys who’s nearly lost their mother that was devastating.
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u/the_tenth_dentist 6d ago
I saw this documentary as a kid when it came out. I remember the rage I felt. How could this kid who’s my age lose his mom while my mom was in the other room. It definitely flipped a switch in me that day. I hope this kid found solace
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u/IzzyBizzyBear 6d ago
Lost my dad at 11yrs old. My advice for that father.... please for the love of God, always be there for him. Sports, school events, everything he gets involved in, be there. Always talk to him so that he knows he has someone he can share his feelings and thoughts with. Have a day of the month to go visit his mom's grave or memorial. He looks younger than 11, so he needs dad to step up in a huge way. It won't be easy but now he knows she is in heaven instead of having that thought of "mom left me", "mom never loved me".
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u/CaptainKate757 6d ago
That kid is probably around 30 now. It would be interesting to revisit the family and get an update on how their lives are going.
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u/JustHereToWatch55 5d ago
I really hope they're doing well. This was a hard watch, can't imagine losing a parent at that age. And growing up, you learn about what happened, a horrific way to lose a loved one.
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u/CinnamonSpiceBlend 6d ago
This is an article the child, Nicholas Lanza, wrote about the experience when he was 17 in 2011. This is the last time he spoke publicly about the experience when
https://www.newsweek.com/my-mom-died-911-heres-how-i-learned-forgiveand-let-go-67379
A little background about the documentary https://www.newsweek.com/story-behind-911-documentary-finding-nicholas-67353
The mom’s obituary https://voicescenter.org/living-memorial/victim/michele-b-lanza
How the family was talked into participating https://www.desertsun.com/story/life/2021/09/08/mary-pickford-theater-hold-doc-screening-anniversary-9-11/5690406001/
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u/TelephoneBusy9594 6d ago
I saw this documentary soon after 9/11. It documented the family raw from the mom being missing. I searched this documentary for years and never found it
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u/lostpassword100000 6d ago edited 6d ago
There are some moments in life that serve no purpose to be recorded. This is at the very top of that list.
Seriously OP, take this crap down. It serves no purpose and imagine if this was your kid.
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u/Alana_Piranha 6d ago
You could say the same about holocaust videos. They serve a purpose, and it's to educate. Child psychology is important. This video can also help a parent communicate a tragic loss to their child and what to expect
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u/SavagePrisonerSP 6d ago
0 purpose is wild. Videos like this remind people just how fast your loved ones can go. Videos like this make me appreciate my mom and my dad more. It reminds me to stay in touch with them, even if I really don’t feel like it.
Also, it seems like the father is fine with being recorded and it put into public. OP shouldn’t have to take shit down. It is uncomfortable, but you don’t have to watch it.
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u/northdakotanowhere 6d ago
I hate the "you shouldn't post this" dialog. It's old. This is life. Even the part that makes people share these things. That's life too. We can't pick and choose.
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u/lostpassword100000 6d ago
Just like this poor kid that has no choice in quite possibly the worst moment of his life being posted?
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u/northdakotanowhere 6d ago
Unfortunately children don't have much of a say in life. It's up to the parent to make the right decisions for their child.
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u/Smart_League_7737 6d ago
I assume Max is like a dog that died. I think having the prior experience and understanding of death is helped him instantly understand what “mum has died” means
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u/MellowMintTea 6d ago edited 6d ago
This is a very private moment that should not have been recorded.
I was in kindergarten at an elementary school a few blocks from the WTC, I heard the first plane hit, saw the second plane, and the massive hole in the towers. Vividly remember seeing little dots of people jump and fall.
My dad had rushed into my classroom and immediately took me out. When we got outside, for a brief moment, the whole street and all cars were just frozen and looking up along Greenwich st, with clear view of the towers. That scene has been etched into my memory and I’ve done everything to avoid looking at footage of it ever again.
I remember my parents sitting my sister and I down after to try to explain it to us and they just couldn’t.
I fortunately did not lose anyone close to me, but many of my classmates had family in the towers. One of my friends grew up in a fire station and many of his father figures lost their lives. Another close friend’s father had jumped from the one of the floors in the towers and broke his leg and arm, but survived. The majority of my classmates and I also developed asthma as a result of being so close to the site.
I really cannot stand how so many people seem to constantly try to joke about it now. It will never be funny to me. My father would become completely enraged when one of his friends would start talking about conspiracy theories on what happened, and he would just start screaming that we were there and he didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about. I don’t react with that level of anger, but it does still make me very uncomfortable and I start having bad flashes of it. There’re a few reaction channels on YouTube I’ll watch here and there, generally most is funny and then they’ll throw in a 9/11 joke at the end, and it just kills my mood for the rest of the day. Maybe that in itself is supposed to make it funny to these people, but it’s just not and never will be to me.
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u/mercurymercuryekia 3d ago
And then we killed 100s of thousands of afghans, then invaded Iraq, Syria, Yemen and currently their is a genocide in Palestine which we fund and arm but we won't talk about that because we are a bunch of hypocrites
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u/77_parp_77 6d ago
Tragic as this is...it shouldn't have been recorded
Acted out with replacements maybe...but not the real thing my god
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u/Winter_Ad_7424 6d ago
well..... definitely the right sub, im now a puddle.
I hope father and son were able to find closure somehow and have happy lives now.
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u/Gurthy_Lengthiness 12h ago
Well….I made it 1 minute it. I couldn’t take it, I gad to turn it off. That little boy could not turn it off. I’m so sad for anyone who loses a mom or a dad or a sibling in a senseless war or accident.
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u/Weather0nThe8s 12h ago
what is this from ? Who is recording and why? I don't mean any offense.. I just don't understand why this is recorded? it's obviously not scripted from a film or anything? I really hope nobody takes this the wrong way and gets mad. I dont mean it any way like that...
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u/Decent-Garlic-8410 11h ago
Wait until the kid finds out she is alive. Wait until you find out the kid knows it's acting. Wait until you take 1 minute to ask what on God's green earth a father would say yes to filming his kid. Just sit and think about it. You are being ridiculous. That kid is as in on it as the mom. I really wish you could take 2 minutes step back and ask. Whi filmed it. Would a dad say yes. And the grand finally. Does that kid sound like mommy just blew up?
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u/Decent-Garlic-8410 11h ago
That stupid little kid asked for a new wife. You have to be an absolute brain dead moron to watch this and then comment on Reddit. I watch this and I cried. Oh, this is tugging my heartstrings that little stain of a human that is acting for a camera. By the way, a nice camera. You see that nice video quality in 2001. Yeah okay anyway, that little stain of a 501c3 fraudulent tax evasion s******* just asked for a new wife tomorrow and you're watching this posting on the internet that you're crying and watching this. Can you please I need you to just stop reading this as soon as you get this last bit. I need you to put the phone down. I need you to go in the bathroom and I need you to look in the mirror and I want you to just stare at it and I want you to say this. If my wife died in 9/11 I would want to film it and tell my kid that she's dead and my kid would ask me if I was going to get a new wife tomorrow. That's right. I want you to say wife and I want you to think really long and hard about that. Poor poor little baby child losing his mom to a 501c3 fraudulent tax evasion charitable. You can't hear me grunt but I was grunting. I want you to go back in the mirror now because you got distracted. Reading this go back and I want you to tell yourself my kid would ask for a new wife while I was filming telling my kid that she just got blown up by 19 Muslims. I want you to do that and I want you to really think hard about how much you love that 19 Muslims blew up that kid's mom that doesn't exist and that he doesn't exist, but you know it does exist. They're 501c3
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u/Intrepid_Leopard4352 11h ago edited 11h ago
The saddest thing. This is from the documentary “Telling Nicholas;” I remember when it was originally released. I hope he is now doing ok. As a mom now… I know how much his mom wished she was still with him too 😞
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u/Upset_Tangerine009 10h ago
This is so heartbreaking on so many levels for me. I was the little boy’s age im the video at the time of 9/11. The gameboy really made things hit home about the time frame. I couldn’t imagine this happening to me at that age. My dad passed away when I was 13 and I remember crying a lot like this as well. I work with children now and I just can’t imagine something like this happening to a little child. I want to reach out and hug the little boy and comfort him. 😭
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u/No-Category-6343 10h ago
Never seen this. I thought this was a movie or something. Raw stuff and feels kinda exploitative
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u/Powerful_Artist 10h ago
Poor guy. What a heartbreaking moment to capture..feels wrong to watch. But my heart goes out to them. RIP
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u/Aggressive-Formal235 9h ago
Omg. That made me tear up. Imagine the other families who had to break the news....especially to small kids. May his mom RIP and i hope the kid (whose grown up now) is ok.
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u/Railionn 6h ago
Yep :(
Did this video get reposted somewhere? Suddenly I get lots of comments again
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u/Railionn 6h ago
Yep :(
Did this video get reposted somewhere? Suddenly I get lots of comments again
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u/Aggressive-Formal235 6h ago
Im not sure but this was thr first time watching itvfor me. Truly heartbreaking 💔
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u/littlemisshoneytoes 5h ago
Wow this really broke me. As I lay here and nurse my first son. This poor baby.
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u/cashmerescorpio 2h ago
Ah, man, who filmed this and why 😭😭😭😭😭 Who was his mother? I really don't think anyone should watch this. It's so personal and sad. 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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u/lbambacus 6d ago
Not every single human experience needs to be posted for random strangers to watch on the internet. This is one of them.
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u/RamDassWasRight 6d ago
Jesus Christ, who records something as heartbreaking as that?? Is this really real???
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u/Old_Administration51 6d ago
Lost count of how many times this has been posted. Pure karma farming.
Be ashamed, be very ashamed.
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u/Railionn 6d ago
Where exactly? I've searched. The youtube link only has 100K views. Thats not much. I've never seen it on reddit before.
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u/LillyCort 6d ago
I really didn’t want to watch this, but I watched it and now I’m in tears.