r/MartialMemes • u/Saint_Kuro Friendly Sect Uncle • 1d ago

Shitpost Monday Would you comsume the Monster Elixir this way, fellow Daoists?

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142 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

89

u/NTM-FDP Well in a Frog 1d ago

Thank you, Junior, for this... "delicate dish," but this Venerable has chosen to enter a fast for at least 100,000,000 years.

148

u/7th_Archon Sage of Brainrot 1d ago

I am not a demonic cultivator.

52

u/yUsernaaae Poison Tester 1d ago

Not even demonic cultivators would use this, professionals have standards you know

19

u/Ren_Zekta Undying 1d ago

Everybody has their own taste, but no sane cultivator has this bad of a taste.

And bro, your flag literally says you're a poison tester. Isn't it what you normally do, tasting these questionable concoctions?

12

u/Phionex8556 1d ago

A so-called poison tester? Hmph. What lies before us is nothing but dogshit—pathetic and beneath even his contempt. Not even poison dares linger in such filth.

5

u/Academic-Leg-5714 The Heavenly Demon 1d ago edited 1d ago

Not even demons are desperate enough to resort to this.

Typical anti demon propaganda has you looking down on our kind

62

u/PureKin21 Junior, you dare?! 1d ago

I would rather transmigrate to reverend insanity

25

u/TechySage Dumplings Peddler 1d ago

19

u/Secretsfrombeyond79 1d ago

Why not just make a regular omelette with vegetables ... it would be both cheaper and more tasty than ... than whatever this is

23

u/CalestialDolphin Jade Beauty 1d ago

Though I walk the path of a demonic cultivator, I do not taint my essence with elixirs refined by lesser hands or materials unworthy of true refinement.

7

u/Artillery-lover Demonic Cultivator 20h ago

I am a demonic cultivator.

I have invented new poisons just to taste them.

I have swallowed whole a still living realm poisoning millipede just to use my stomach as a cauldron to refine its bloodline.

I divised a pill that converts the expelled impurities of a cultivators early breakthroughs into qi.

this concoction, to even be in its presence, would be a poison so virulent as to rival my feircest pills.

I only hope a cultivator uncountable aeons my senior can find this and use it as a source of inspiration to begin the next golden age of the poison crafting arts.

11

u/lastchanceforachange Young Master Dipshit 1d ago edited 1d ago

Fellow Daoist this is not for human consumption, the alchemist making that elixir is a rock golem which breaks through Nascent Soul phase so it can change in to human form. It's physiology is entirely different than us, that golem can consume things which make a giant beetle dissolve its stomach.

4

u/make-it-clap- 1d ago

I fear for my bowels, for not even a jade Empress would be able to quell their ire , ONLY the most devilish demonic cultivateurs could Fathom to do such horrid atrocity .

4

u/Hot_Heart_5686 1d ago

Pay attention fellow daoists. This right here is the scarcely known vital ingredient that one needs to consume, to practice the extremely famous Watery Bowel Movement technique.

3

u/Azurlium Sect library hidden master 1d ago

Junior I'd rather poison test pills in a Demonic Sect.

1

u/AffectionateTowel111 13h ago

No way you're not getting my job

2

u/Cryotivity 1d ago

i wouldnt consume anything made in that pill cauldron

2

u/watermelonseed01 1d ago

You should cripple your cultivation for suggesting this fellow cultivator

2

u/Final_Biochemist222 1d ago

The dao of dysentry

2

u/fakersleftnutsack Dumplings Peddler 19h ago

only if I wanted to enter qi deviation and implode

2

u/Prestigious_Match825 17h ago

I'm having a qi deviation just looking this, Seniors pls help this junior ahhhh

2

u/Doomword 1d ago

I have no aptitude for earth path therefore I can't grasp seniors teachings of heavenly shits.

1

u/Big-Secretary-7515 1d ago

Is that Kanye West?

1

u/nightmare001985 1d ago

I cook my own food thank you...... The chickens will eat this though

1

u/Mardon83 Guest Elder 1d ago

Looks tasty. Most people think elixirs are just potions or at most a pill, but yes, it can be a meal too. Lot's of ancient elixir recipes are meals. As for the Monster drink, I rather have Coffee .

1

u/Devilsified 1d ago

I take a bite of egg and drink a sip of drink.........i am crazy but not to the point I will just mix in anything that I get my hands on

1

u/Karen_the_first Please wait while I court death... 1d ago

Which lower world produces such horrifying heaven shattering elixirs?

1

u/Master_Ad_2180 1d ago

that's poison elixir right there

1

u/DragoninR 1d ago

I cannot consume monster, I get very talkative, then get a sense of impending doom as migraine starts to set in.

1

u/dpoodle 22h ago

I can smell the aroma of the medicine all the way here. Junior  a real pill king doesn't need a furnace to create high grade nourishment pills.

1

u/aura_aviator 18h ago

Western Golden Crow region has fallen to such dire state. (West to china)

1

u/flamdorean Please wait while I court death... 17h ago

1

u/Beast0011 17h ago

I dont possess a poison resistance technique so pass

1

u/CursedFingerInUAss 12h ago edited 12h ago

🇮🇳 is a cult of decay and feces all Indians are born with the ancient heritage of the Gau Mata demonic beast of excrement

1

u/AdBoth9012 9h ago

Is this perhaps the method for mastering the cancer path ?

1

u/Russian_Meme_Man_34 8h ago

I would like to taste it, just to feel what it tastes like. Maybe even eat it, if I don't risk dying from it.

1

u/severalpillarsoflava Killer of Chickens and Dogs 1d ago

That's actually pretty good (just swap the monster with Lemon Juice)