r/MomForAMinute • u/Seven8Nineten • 2d ago
Encouragement Wanted I am finally standing up for myself.
Even though I’m in my late 30s, I’m just now learning about the way my childhood shaped me. I’ve never struggled to stand up for others, but I find it incredibly hard to stand up for myself. I’m doing it now. It hurts when the people in my life show me who they really are when they see me now, the real me, without a mask. They act out when I set boundaries. It hurts. It is temporary. It is worthwhile.
I don’t know who in my life will stay to support me and who will leave. That scares me the most, but I will be brave.
I’m doing the work to parent the part of me that has always needed parenting. Today I am crying. Tomorrow I will be strong.
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u/Present-Response-758 2d ago
Remember, boundaries are the distance at which you can love yourself and others simultaneously.
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u/cannycandelabra 1d ago
You’re going in the right direction, my love. You will get there and you will have loving supporters. (Hugs)
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u/Brief-Meringue-9064 2d ago
hi big sib - i hear you and i see you choosing yourself - and i'm so proud of you for that! you deserve to be loved in the way you want and need to be loved, no matter what.
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u/Muted_Piccolo278 2d ago
There is great strength in tears; they are a physical release of emotions that can be toxic when buried and denied. You will be strong tomorrow but you are already strong today. There are people who won't like your boundaries and those people are probably not healthy for you anyway. You will never stand alone: personal strength (not arrogance) is an admirable quality that people respond to. And in the background always are us, your Internet parents, who are proud of you for knowing your worth and celebrating as you determine and map out the life you want to live ❤️
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u/Stay_Good_Dog 2d ago
Oh, babe. You so deserve the love you are giving yourself. And you are worthy of the boundaries and care you are setting for yourself. Those that honor and respect that are the ones you need in your life.
This is a hard challenge for those of us who weren't taught from a young age to enforce boundaries or stick up for ourselves. I was taught to "respect authority" even at the cost of my self esteem, my rights and my body. I was about your age when I finally realized the path I needed to take to become healthy.
You will not regret this choice. You will be stronger, wiser, and better for it. The people you allow into your life from this point forward will run parallel to your path and support you. You will only become a more balanced and capable human being as you travel this road.
I'm proud of you, babe. It takes courage and strength to see where you have been and want to overcome it. Love & light to you.