r/Mommit • u/ResponseSuitable1413 • 23h ago
Who’s really surviving on three hours sleep?
Moms , I keep reading posts of women saying they only get three hours of sleep a day and I’m wondering is this an exaggeration ? Maybe they get three hours some nights but more usually? Is it humanly possible to survive on 3 hours ? I like to sleep 8 hours but now with a baby get anywhere between 5-8 hours broken and when I get five hours I’m absolutely devastated and make up for it by day time naps and going to bed early . Then I think about those moms who say they get 3 hrs every night and I’m like …. Huh?!
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u/--BabyFishMouth-- 23h ago
Surviving? Yeah. Thriving? Doing well? Absolutely not.
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u/sleeepykoalabear 23h ago
THIS!! My 17 month old has been waking up every hour and a half for the past two weeks and I feel like a zombie.
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u/Upsidedownabby 21h ago
Can I upvote this x 1000 😂
Last week my 11 month old decided to stay up multiple nights from 11 pm to 4 am. Mama was absolutely not thriving. Barely surviving lol
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u/Wit-wat-4 16h ago
YUP! I can’t wait to at least get 5 hours of sleep. Like once a month I get that and it feels so good. Funny to think once upon a time 5 hours wouldn’t be a good night’s sleep! Lol
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23h ago
[deleted]
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u/partypacks86 22h ago
Have you seen spiders on your ceiling or woken up searching for your baby in your bed? I remember this vividly when in the newborn twilight zone with both my kids. They didn't sleep in my bed, but my brain was convinced they were there.
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u/the_gruffalo91 21h ago
Omg I almost threw my son after seeing spiders crawling on him! I've never moved holding a newborn so fast off a bed
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u/planetarylaw 22h ago
I always stop to say hi to fellow moms who were driven to sleep deprivation hallucination. It's nice to see others out in the wild lol. Crazy, ain't it?
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u/FoxTrollolol 20h ago
Saw a mouse run across the kitchen floor and convinced myself we had an infestation.
There was no mouse.
Took a week for my husband to convince me we weren't going to get bubonic plague.
My colicky first born really went the extra mile making sure she kept me on my toes 😅 my new baby is an absolute dreamboat in comparison. She sleeps three, maybe four hours some nights and I'm like "hell yeah girly! Catch them Z's!"
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u/PracticePurple1205 16h ago
Been there. My first I almost chucked her across a room because I somehow forgot? I was holding her and when she stroked my back/shoulder I thought it was a bug and instinctively almost threw her.
I also started seeing shadow figures out of the corner of my eye as soon as it got dark every evening, and knew that was a good sign I needed to carve out more time to sleep somehow.
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u/Worldly_Science 23h ago
I was getting 3-4 hours of broken sleep a night with my first and we realized I am not someone who can do that long term. My anxiety went through the roof, I would get snippy or go into a rage.
With our second, my husband stuck to making sure I got more sleep. I still have my moments, but he also lets me make it up on weekends he doesn’t work.
I just can’t be a good human, let alone a good mom, on 3 hours for more than a day or two.
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u/BethCab4Cutie mother of 2 👼🩷👶💙 23h ago
Definitely not an exaggeration for me and no I’m not functioning well but it is what it is. 🤷♀️
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u/Professional-Key5552 22h ago
Yes, no one asks, just have to live through it when the kids are young
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u/ResponseSuitable1413 23h ago
This is insanity you guys
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u/planetarylaw 22h ago
Yeah but it's reality. And in the US, we have no social safety nets. Moms are expected to carry on with work/careers and raise the baby solo. We're not allowed to complain about it. We're expected to do it with a smile. And if we deviate at all from the norm, as necessitated by survival, we get judgment.
I was a PhD student with a colicky, PURPLE crying, velcro baby. He hardly slept, and when he did, it had to be on me. Of course, you get hammered into your head that cosleeping is the best way to murder your baby, you heartless baby hater, you! So by two months PP running on fumes (and exclusively pumping because I had hammered into my head that breast is the only option if you love your baby and if you buy formula you must support evil corporations), still obligated to my research at a lab an hour drive away with long term overnight experiments running... I was falling asleep at the wheel.
I consulted my pediatrician, at my wits end. I was going to kill myself falling asleep at the wheel or do other some grave careless thing. She gave me her blessing to cosleep and supplement with formula. She gave me instructions on how to cosleep as safely as possible, because in her medical opinion, my risk of accidental dismemberment or death was higher than my infant's risk of SIDS.
So great. I was still exclusively pumping due largely to social pressure and stigma. But at least I felt empowered to supplement with formula. But exclusively pumping is time consuming and energy draining, so it didn't afford me any more sleep. And pumping away from home is a nightmare... and I was cosleeping which meant my baby actually slept, but then I still wasn't sleeping well or enough because I was waking up every 20 minutes in a panic that my baby stopped breathing.
There's no winning in middle class/lower class America as a mother. Unless you enjoy the benefits of intergenerational wealth or dumb luck, you're fucked. I had colleagues whose parents flew over from China to nanny their babies for them so they wouldn't miss a beat in their PhD. I had colleagues whose parents paid for full time nannies and overnight doulas for them. That's awesome for them. But it paints an unrealistic picture of motherhood when those privileged moms go on to yap about how easy motherhood is. Don't even get me started on the dads lol.
Waitlists for daycares were up to two years long on average for me, and once they got in, it cost my entire PhD stipend to send them. My partner had the same stipend so we basically slowly went into the red year after year (especially with our kids medical care, that's another story, don't get me started on the state of health insurance and overpriced medical care in the US).
Currently, 8 years later... I'm unemployable because I have not been able to give my career track what is required in order to stay relevant and employable in my field. It's been a train wreck in slow motion that started with my first pregnancy as a grad student. Once you have a baby, it doesn't matter if you give it your all, it will never be enough to keep you meeting your career goals (compared to if you'd remained childless or compared to your childless colleagues or priveleged peers).
And I love my two kids. I wouldn't go back in time to change anything. But fuck. I wish I had known the reality of motherhood. I would have been able to properly plan and prepare for my life being forcefully pushed off track. The emotional brunt of it all could have been lessened.
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u/UnionOk2156 20h ago
Wow are you me? Lol I’m a PhD student with no childcare. My mother works and partner is a ceo (long hours never available). I have no formal childcare and my MIL is so uncomfortable to be around I’d rather walk over fire than deal with her anymore (she babysits 6 hours a month). I’m losing it due to lack of sleep and recently I’ve given up and started cosleeping most nights because I can’t function not sleeping anymore.
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u/planetarylaw 19h ago
I'm so sorry. I know your struggle. Some of us just don't get blessed with the village, you know? My biggest advice is to take the IDGAF approach. Advocate for yourself and your little one, because nobody else will. It's just so hard and I'm so sorry. You need your sleep. Your baby needs you to get sleep. If that means putting a firm mat down on the floor and sleeping with no pillows and blankets, then that's what it takes, and that's what you do. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
The IDGAF attitude will get you far. I wish I'd instituted it sooner for myself. For real. Need to pump? Go pump. Fuck the lab meeting in ten minutes. The meeting will go on without you just fine. That sort of thing. Take care of yourself and your little one. My life is still hectic and stressful these days, but much much easier now that my kids are older and not interrupting me every 15 seconds. Hang in there.
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u/Delicious_Slide_6883 18h ago
I just had to drop out of my PhD program. I was ABD, and halfway through chapter 2 of my dissertation and just emailed my chair telling her I can’t do this. Supposed to have a phone meeting with the department chair Monday for her to try to talk me out of it.
Between being full time caregiver for baby, housekeeping, and working to pay bills I just have literally no time or brainpower left for a dissertation.
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u/UnionOk2156 17h ago
I know exactly how you feel I’m in the final stages but I keep partially filling out the withdraw paperwork on my bad days. Thankfully I’m not working outside of teaching for the department I was working until I quit in January there’s no way I could do that along with raising my son and the program.
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u/dallyan 22h ago
Sorry, I didn’t give a fuck. I supplemented with formula from the beginning as well as breastfed and I coslept with the baby so that I could just breastfeed him as soon as he woke up. Is that dangerous? I dunno. Me being sleep deprived is also dangerous. At some point perfection is the enemy of the good and new moms need to feel ok about not being perfect.
Side note- I also was doing a PhD when I had my kid and my career also got derailed.
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u/planetarylaw 20h ago
It took me a long time to get to the DGAF point. I wish I could take that energy and give it to myself way back then. Please do share that energy with other mama out there. We need more of that energy to empower other mamas. Thank you and I hope you're doing well.
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u/Professional-Key5552 22h ago
well, this is how it is to have a baby and small children. Unfortunately normal
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u/smokeandshadows 21h ago
I have twins who are 7 months old. For the 4th month, I was only sleeping maybe an hour a night. One twin would literally be up once an hour or so and the other twin had feeding issues. It was literally hell and I honestly don't know how I survived.
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u/jessykab 23h ago
My son woke up every 90 minutes until he was 7 months old. I survived if you use that term loosely, I felt like a shell of myself and struggled with PPA and PPD. The best I could hope for was a 3-4 hr stretch from like 8pm-midnight on the couch, where I would sit down hoping to feel human again and inevitably fell asleep until he woke back up again, and then it was every 90 minutes. I remember feeling anxious as the sun went down because I was in for an exhausting night, again and again and again. It was rough.
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u/Silly_Safe_4554 6h ago
Did you consider sleep training?
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u/jessykab 1h ago
We loosely did something like Ferber at that point, I couldn't even consider CIO. But once I let him cry for a few minutes, he ended up self soothing and putting himself back to sleep. That's when I started getting 4 hours stretches, and at 11 months started sleeping through the night. My natural supports were pretty limited at the time and even though I had cousins and sisters who had their first babies around the same time, they were all much better sleepers so it was like I was the only one going through the struggle and had no one to advise me, until an acquaintance actually messaged me out of the blue to check on me and I just word vomitted out of sheer exhaustion and desperation, and she was like "let him cry for as long as you can handle, even if it's just 2-3 minutes, and work your way up to 10 minutes." Once I tried that, he typically self soothed within 5 minutes.
I think it was a mix of that, him getting older and heavier, and him finally being moved to his own room, that got his sleep worked out.
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u/sleepym0mster 23h ago
I absolutely get about 3-4 hours of sleep a night. 5 hours on a good day. 6 on an amazing day. i don’t have the option of taking a nap during the day or going to bed early because I have a toddler and my partner works 24-48 hour shifts away from home. it’s just barely surviving and certainly not thriving. but this is the phase of life we’re in. I don’t wear it as a badge of honor lol
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u/meccadeadly 22h ago
My worst night was 20 minutes in a 24 hr period.
I was in the newborn stage, breastfeeding twins with a potty training toddler.
After two weeks of little sleep, I started to hallucinate. It was bad
Almost 4 years, I get about 6-7 hrs per night
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u/claggamuff 22h ago
So from the day my baby was born until 5 weeks I literally slept 3 hours per night and many nights not at all. In my case I had severe anxiety, so it wasn’t necessarily baby keeping me up. I was even on sleep medications and they did nothing because my anxiety was that high. I checked myself into a mother and baby unit at 5 weeks and got a lot of help because 3 hours / no sleep every night definitely made me loopy as hell
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u/planetarylaw 22h ago
I have only recently learned about mother and baby units. I am so happy to hear they even exist! I hope to see them become more widespread.
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u/queenjenay 23h ago
Me. I have A 7 year old and a later work shift. I come home after work, and sleep for one hour or three and if I’ve had three I’ll start my day and if it’s just been a nap, sometimes I come home and sleep for 3 more. I’m tired. I look like shit (people point it out) and everyone else asks how I do it. I don’t know tbh. We just DO.
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u/GoneWalkiesAgain 23h ago
I used to. My younger son has level 3 asd and that kid just didn’t sleep for the first 5 years. He’s seven now we figured out what works for him and now I get 6-7 hours a night. My husband as adhd and can’t function on less than 7 hours so I took the sleep hit every night. I basically main lined coffee for a while.
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u/GuideNo4812 23h ago
I had about a month where I got 2-3 hours. 8 month sleep regression. Thankfully, on the weekends my husband would take the baby so I could have a lie in. If I didn’t have those lie ins on the weekends I would have gone crazy.
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u/TheSorcerersCat 15h ago
Same, around 9ish months. It stayed pretty shitty until 11 mo that for me when I realized my baby was lower sleep needs.
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u/GuideNo4812 6h ago
Well done for getting through it! I think mine was to do with moving and teething and fast development. So many things came at once with my baby!
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u/spookycat93 23h ago
No exaggeration here. I naturally struggle with insomnia of my own, and my sweet beautiful daughter with her autistic brain has just the wildest sleep troubles and always has. It’s not a great mix. So I’ve averaged about 3, maybe 4 hours (if I’m lucky) of sleep during the week for literally years now. My husband has me sleep in on the weekends when he can, bless his beautiful soul.
So yes. Surviving, yes, but mostly because I learned to adapt. Thriving, depends on the day. 🤷🏼♀️
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u/bryceriel 23h ago
3-4 hours and lots and lots of sugar. I always gain so much weight AFTER my pregnancies. I don't feel like myself, I feel like I'm going insane. Every night I just want to scream and cry. :) surviving, not thriving
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u/cupcakesweatpants 22h ago
When my twins were infants, they had chronic ear infections and never slept for more than about 30 minutes at a time each, and not even at the same time. I fell asleep standing up waiting for the microwave to cook pretty often. I was so sleep deprived that I barely even remember the first year of their lives. I tried to take classes again because I had them while in college and I could not comprehend the material I used to be able to do. Sleep deprivation is really bad. Luckily, they got tubes put in their ears and never had an ear infection again. I was only 21 and it was so hard to not get uninterrupted sleep. When I had my 3rd kid, even though I was in my 30s, I was way more functional because I was able to get 4-5 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.
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u/Lepidopterex 23h ago
Once my 2nd started sleeping through the night, I definitely had some insomnia because I as worried as soon as I'd fall asleep he'd be up.
But I'm back to 10 hours a night again, which is what I need to function well. For me, with two kids, both starting sleeping through the night around 3 years old. And i hated finding out that "through the night" was technically 5 hours in a row instead of my hoped for 10 hours. The thing that sucks is that it's been 5.5 years for me from first pregnancy to sleeping 10 hours, because my first started sleeping through the night right after I had my 2nd kid. So it all reset for me.
I was totally delusional for a long time, but fairly normal now again!
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u/CaffeinenChocolate 23h ago
My firstborn was insanely colicky and temperamental, which caused me to survive on solely 3-4 hours of sleep a night, every night, for over a year.
I was completely miserable, exhibited symptoms of depression due to the lack of sleep, was in a constant fog and genuinely can’t remember most parts of my LO’s first year because of how sleep deprived I was.
I was definitely surviving, and my little guy was thriving; but I was solely surviving and nothing more. Most of the time, parents in these situations are simply ‘making it’ - but we’re all on the fucking edge and miserable due to the lack of sleep.
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u/Old_Fondant_993 23h ago
When my twins were newborns with terrible acid reflux, I probably had nights like that. I can’t remember exactly because of the lack of sleep :p. Anyway, my husband would sometimes almost doze off while grocery shopping, and I was a zombie.
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u/bcgirlmtl 22h ago
In the newborn days I found that I needed at least four hours uninterrupted to feel like I could at least be a safe caregiver to my baby. Some nights it was two hour chunks and that was really hard but when I got a four hour stretch it was amazing lol. Now they’re 2 and 4 and I get 8 hours again and it’s glorious.
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u/generic-usernme 23h ago
I have a newborn who is EBF and a toddler, 3hrs every night sounds about right....if I get more than 5 it's a miracle
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u/jklm1234 23h ago
Everyone is different. I’ve been training for this my whole life. I could go 1-2 weeks on 3-4 hrs of sleep a night when I was younger. Now maybe 2-3 nights? Then I have to catch up and get 8 hrs for a few nights.
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u/kdawson602 23h ago
I have 3 kids; 4, 2, and 11 months. I have pretty terrible insomnia so there are a lot of days I go to work after 0 sleep the night before. Even I can’t do only 3 hours every night. On a great night I get 8, on a bad night I get 0, on the average night I think I get about 5 hours.
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u/Lady_Black_Cats 22h ago
As someone who has a natural night sleep schedule I did pretty well so long as I was getting a good nap in mid morning.
Hubby was awesome at helping with that. But it was ROUGH the second time around with my second baby. Toddler wanted me and the baby wanted me and I really couldn't do it very well. Plus I could only have decaf coffee so yeah, I had a harder time. But I did survive it. Weekends were a blessing because my husband could let me sleep in with the baby by taking my toddler outside to play. I was not friendly in the mornings for about 6 months though. Thankfully the baby is almost 1 now so it's getting easier.
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u/lookhereisay 22h ago
3-4 hours is pretty average for me. There is always something. My 3yo will sleep through but a load of motorbikes will go racing past and wake me up.
My son will be ill and coughing, or me, or my husband or all of us.
My brain will turn on and stop me sleeping. I also wake up at 3am which was my sons old night feed time. That he stopped before 6 months!
I’ll need a wee. Or my husband will need a wee and wake me up as he gets out of bed.
My son will shout out at 3am but he’s actually dreaming and goes immediately back to sleep.
I’ve tried everything (room is pitch black, white noise, meditation, no screens before bed etc) but 5 hours is amazing for me.
Plus the day starts at 6am at the very very latest.
I’m so tired!
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u/Hux2187 13h ago
It's not an exaggeration. My daughter is 2 years old, and her sleep has always been absolutely terrible. She constantly wakes up through the night and sometimes will not go back to sleep for hours. She also doesn't sleep for long, too, and is always very hyper and no sign of being tired through the day. When she does get back to sleep, it's so hard to relax because I know that she's only going to get back up within 30 minutes. We've tried everything, and nothing works. Health visitor said that some toddlers and babies will have terrible sleep, and as we've tried everything that we've just had to ride it out, and she'll probably get better with sleep when she's older.
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u/eyeamyinyang 23h ago
Back when I worked overnights at Walmart, I only got 2-3 hours of sleep a day, depending on when my then partner had to work. We had to be on alternating schedules. On weekends, I got to catch up and get 7 hours. I "survived" by drinking a monster energy drink every day plus 2-3 of those 5 hr energy shots. That lasted a year before I began having heart problems and had to quit. Skip forward 10 years, and I developed insomnia and went months getting, again maybe 2 hours total a day, until they medicated me to knock me out because again I started having heart problems. I'm still here somehow, but my heart took the brunt of it, and I worry it's lowering my life expectancy. I just hope all my kids are adults before that happens 😥
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u/Duchess_Witch 22h ago
My son had severe asthma as a child- no lie when he was 2 1/2 he got croup on top of it and we slept- use that term loosely- in a recliner walking every two hours to use a nebulizer, give prednisone, steam shower inhales, freezer inhales, - for 8 weeks straight. I was a zombie. This went on for different cycles until about 5 when his lungs got stronger and we got the asthma firmly under control.
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u/happytre3s 22h ago
For most of the week I get about 3-4 hours of broken sleep, but then I have a night where I crash out hard and my husband is forced to take over bc I'm literally unconscious. He does try to take over more often, this past week was horrible though bc he had super early and super late calls every day bc of a work incident.
I am also still up and pumping at least twice a night (or directly breastfeeding on occasion, but I prefer to pump and bottle feed this one bc she's bite-y), so it makes sense to me that I take the nights. ... Mostly. B
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u/DetectiveEvening7804 22h ago
Yes, I had a colicky baby for months and months. People didn’t understand since their babies weren’t colicky and were shocked when I told them how much my baby cried lol. Most night it was 3 hours sometimes 4.
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u/kokoelizabeth 22h ago
While pregnant with my first I made the mistake of thinking people were exaggerating or joking, they indeed are not. The newborn stage is absolutely brutal for many people. Mine is 4.5 years old now and I’m still traumatized from the sleep deprivation I experienced.
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u/ohokthankstho 22h ago
Oh dude yup! This was me when mine were 2 and below. 3 hours of sleep broken up into little pieces for nearly four years. Nightmare fuel
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u/introvertedmum0707 22h ago
Never thought I could survive with 3 hours everyday, but here I am scrolling on my phone at 3.30am lol, I should be asleep as baby is asleep and I know he’s gonna wake up soon for milk.
It was really difficult at first, I was like a zombie at first, with the milk pumping and feeding but I dunno when and somehow i just got used to it.
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u/Adventurous_Meal3860 20h ago
This is why we're one and done. We both decided we couldn't do this cycle again. Literally two years of these type of nights. She's four and JUST now sleeping past 6 AM.
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u/Such_Memory5358 20h ago
My second is 10 months old and if I get 3 hours of sleep I call it a success his a terrible sleeper and it also takes me ages to fall asleep. So majority of the days I’m only on about 3 hours combined and some nights none at all. It’s exhausting but you just go on with it. ( I’m low sleep needs myself but 3 hours is terrible). We went away for new years with friends and they actually saw how much I slept and were shocked they didn’t understand how I was still running around like I slept the entire night and was happy. I just told them I hate myself for like 5 mins at the start of the day cause I’m so tired but then get over it and drink a butt load of coffee
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u/squeaky_pterodactyI 20h ago
My baby is 3 months old. When I’m able to get 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep, I weep with joy.
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u/sodaandpoprocks 19h ago
For the first few months I had 4hrs broken sleep. I became so unwell from it and it made me so unhappy.
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u/CarmenDeeJay 19h ago
Well, my mother insists she only gets 3 hours of sleep every night, which is why she's tired and wants to stay in bed longer.
I put a camera in her closet just to be sure she's okay when I am at work. I can see she sleeps soundly all night long. I think she's just depressed because my dad passed away. Poor lady...
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u/Kinky-Hair-8008 19h ago
Girl lol I worked night shift as a nurse to take care of my baby during the day, I didn't thrive but I survived. We napped together lol
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u/Spiritual-Back9133 19h ago
Sleep is a privilege not everyone gets and you never really know this till you KNOW this. Signed, a mom of a medically fragile special needs child.
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u/inlovewithmycrush04 6h ago
I work nights, I am a single mother, I have my two younger kids with me as their dad is no longer in the picture and my two older kiddos live with their dad by choice, no legalities involved. Anywho, I work at night while they sleep I am home in time to get them to school at 7:30am I then get laundry and normal household things done and get in what sleep I can before the kids get out of school at 3p. So I usually get anywhere from 3 hours to 5 on a good day. It's usually closer to the 3 hours. It's exhausting to say the least but I gotta do what I gotta do to keep my kids happy and healthy 🤷🏼♀️
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u/kittywyeth 23h ago
never in my long parenting career (my first is fifteen) has this been true for me. i get plenty of sleep. i exclusively nurse so it’s broken up when i have an infant but i make up for it with naps during the day.
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u/Justwhy_90 23h ago
I think a lot of the time it’s an exaggeration to say they’re living that way daily. My thought is that when they get to the point of posting about it, they’ve had a string of days/a week of this and they’re starting to lose it. Anyone doing this is (short of very unusual sleep genetics) terribly unhealthy. You will literally take years off of your life. That “second wind “- the nervous energy that you feel that pulls you through - is adrenaline kicking in. Your body is in survival mode and it’s both screwing with your brain chemistry and putting internal stress on your whole body. Repeated sleep deprivation has been used as torture. You become slow, clumsy, have issues paying attention… You have increased risk of all types of accidents, increased risk of stroke, mood disorders, and more! … (3-4 days with no sleep at all, and you jump right into hallucination and delirium). Lol, & people wonder why some women are so angry and neurotic. *Not that man don’t suffer lack of sleep/ rest in our overly-capitalist culture, but it seems to end up hitting the Moms hardest.
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u/mama-ld4 23h ago
It has to be an exaggeration. When my kids are little, I average 6 hours of broken sleep and I can manage, but I’m definitely not thriving unless I get a mid day nap of another 2-3 hours. If it was 6 hours uninterrupted, I could thrive.
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u/spookycat93 22h ago
2-3 hour nap with 6 hours of sleep? That’s beautiful. 😭
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u/mama-ld4 22h ago
If I could swing that, that would be amazing haha. I thankfully have very involved grandparents that are happy to give breaks when needed!
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u/daniface 23h ago
I mean, definitely in the newborn stage, 3 hours, 5 hours was a luxury then. Now I have a 3yo and am pregnant and I get anywhere from 5-7 hours a night. I give myself enough time for more sleep, but unfortunately my sleep winds up being very broken, I wake several times throughout the night despite my toddler sleeping soundly through the night, so I think i'm just a poor sleeper in general.
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u/concentrated-amazing 23h ago
I had many days were it was 5-6 hours of broken sleep (usually either 2 or 3 segments) and no nap. I don't recommend it, but it can be done.
3 seems really low though. I don't think many people are doing that for more than a few nights without serious repercussions.
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u/tinydncr 22h ago
I regularly operate on far less. My son goes to bed at 11pm, comes through to our bed around 2am. But it takes me HOURS to fall asleep. So the first time he comes through I've usually only just fallen asleep myself. Takes an hour to resettle him. Another 3 hours for me to fall asleep.... But that's no dice because I get up for work at 6am! He is 4 and has never slept straight through.
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u/LadySwire FTM 22h ago
I have four hours of sleep these days. It's not even the baby's (already a toddler 🥺) fault! I try to have time for writing (which is my hobby) after work + family time soo... I sacrifice sleep 🙃
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u/Obviously-an-Expert 22h ago
No, it’s not an exaggeration. 3 hours of very broken sleep is about all I got. Everything was a real blur and it felt like torture. Colicky babies will do that to you 🙃
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u/sweetpotatoroll_ 22h ago
For the first 2 months, I consistently got 3-4 of sleep per night. I honestly don’t think it’s an exaggeration. My son did not sleep longer than 2-3 hour stretches for the first 7 weeks until I started cosleeping.
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u/yuudachi 22h ago
Honestly 4 hours of straight sleep is enough for me nowadays. That's at least one whole REM cycle!
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u/silver_squirrelly 22h ago
personally, i was almost definitely manic because i went off some of the dangerous meds for my baby while pregnant and breastfeeding and while i was tired and dragging behind, i was generally okay. but let me tell you, my husband SUFFERED at less than 5 hours of sleep a night.
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u/Extension-Concept-83 22h ago
Like a few others have said, surviving not thriving is my motto. It’s somehow easier with the second baby? Maybe because it’s less of a shock to the system and I know it will eventually get better.
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u/gainz4fun 22h ago
In the newborn stage that’s about how much I slept because my anxiety was so through the roof that my body/mind didn’t allow me to sleep. I’d stay up watching her sleep and anticipate her waking up and when she’d wake up to eat I was never able to fall back asleep if I was sleeping. Lasted about 6 months, I’ve also never been a napper so “sleep when the baby sleeps” didn’t work for me, that’s when I’d catch up on chores and cleaning bottles or staring blankly at a wall. lol
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u/Sanfletch63 22h ago
My children are all adult but I have insufferable insomnia. I survive 3-4 hours most nights because I can’t sleep well. My Doctor has been chasing me for a sleep study but I’m not ready to stay overnight at a sleep facility. I know I’ll end up being a CPAP dropout not wanting to wear the mask. And no I am not interested in an inspire body implant to help me sleep. 😂😂😂. I think some people can survive on three hours but eventually, you will crash and get the sleep you need. I love when that happens.
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u/Sunflower_okie 22h ago
Yes. Many times I have to go to work as such as well, I wake up at 3am to get ready for work. I have to be there clocking in by 4:25 and my baby likes to wake up around 3:15 for comfort/feeding. My 2 under 2 goes to sleep at different bedtimes no matter how much we try to get them on the same schedule, and it makes it difficult to ever sleep at an official time. I’m also pregnant with my 3rd, so sometimes it REALLY sucks lol.
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u/xxspringbaby0408xx 22h ago
Yup. My son would sleep for 2 hours, then wake to be fed, changed, and rocked back to sleep. Every. Damn. Night.
I understand now how sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. Also, those first few months are the reason I became 1 and done. Go figure.
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u/dallyan 22h ago
No, I never did and I wouldn’t have been able to survive like many of the mothers here. That said, my ex helped with night feedings (we supplemented breast milk with formula from the beginning) and I coslept pretty much from the beginning.
But I was pretty much one and done so I don’t know what would have happened had I had more.
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u/Sisyfos1234 21h ago
I slept maximum 4 hours a night for at least 2,5 years. I was literally DEAD tired. I out my kitchen on fire. I forgot my name. I worked 4 jobs and then 2 jobs + went to school! Horrible. After kid was 3, started getting 6 hours/night. Been like that for a year now. 2 times I have slept 8 hours and it has been SO much difference! After sleeping 8 hours I feel so refreshed in the morning compared to the 6 hours. Honestly, having a child and not sleeping feels like it has aged me at least 10-15 years. I went from feeling like a youngster to an old lady! My body is tired, my mind is tired. I just wanna go to sleep and sleep like 4-5 days straight right now. I fantasise about it, dream about it (wake dreams 😂) someday I will sleep again. But it just feels like it will be too late by then. My hair will be gray, I will soon be dead and sleep forever then 🥹
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u/Burnt_and_Blistered 21h ago
I get about 5.5 hours now. I work from 6:15 am until 5:45, and my commute is around an hour (a little shorter in the morning. Then I have family stuff, pet stuff, and household stuff (most of which is ignored during the work week)—and try to have a minute for myself before going to bed.
When I worked nights, I often got less than 3 on work days. I don’t know how I functioned in any of the roles I had, but I did. I also fell asleep any time my body wasn’t moving on my days off.
I couldn’t sustain the 3-hours-or-less thing, but 5.5 is something I’ve been doing for years. As I get older, it bothers me less and less.
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u/franticbaboon 21h ago
With my first i did the sleep when they sleep. However when you have more and the older don't nap, plus partner works nights. I can honestly say I've probably ran on less than 3 hours. Especially in the cluster feeding phases when they are up about every hour so by the time I actually would fall asleep they'd be up again.
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u/busymama1023 21h ago
I cannot function on anything less than 7 hrs! My girls are older now but they were sleep trained through the night early!!! First baby 7 weeks old. 2nd baby at 6 weeks old.
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u/books-and-baking- 21h ago
I personally become suicidal when my sleep gets that bad. I’m sure some people can survive on that, but I can’t. My partner took on the brunt of nighttime stuff because of that, for which I’m forever grateful.
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u/aclassypinkprincess 21h ago
My son had bad reflux and needed to be held constantly at first or he was puking. My husband and I took shifts when he was home from work but I would get max 4 hours
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u/Practical_Action_438 21h ago
I made it quite awhile with 2-3 hrs sleep. It was absolutely terrible. I love toddler stage. Babies suck! 😂 not really but I don’t miss that sleep deprivation. Now I sleep 12-8 but he still wakes up about 3 or more times briefly. I wish I coslept from the beginning it would have helped me get way more sleep but I was too scared to
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u/Jacewrites 21h ago edited 21h ago
My daughter is 20 months now but, from birth to 3 months old I got 4 hours (not much better) of sleeper everyday for 3 months. So, yes this isn't an exaggeration.
7am-5pm awake (Me)
5pm-6pm Feed and change
6-8pm Sleep
8-9pm Feed and Change
9-11pm Sleep
11pm-12pm Feed and Change
12pm-2am Baby Scream
2am-3am Feed and Change
3-5am Sleep (Sometimes)
5-6am Feed and Change
6-7am Awake (Me)
Sometimes I could get baby to go back to sleep from 6-8am. 8-9am Feed and Change. Then, 9am-11am Sleep. But for the most part 4 hours of sleep. And keep in mind 6 hours of interrupted sleep is not very restful.
Edit: If she didn't scream she'd lay there wide awake and it's impossible to sleep. But, when your baby is awake the second you start to doze she'll scream at you to wake up and give her attention. No matter how much attention I gave her eventually after 2 hours she'd fall asleep.
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u/Snowysaku 21h ago
Back when I had a newborn yup it was really 3 hours. I literally would sleepwalk the baby, fell asleep face first into a bowl of pierogies while pumping, and would literally daydream of pretending to pass out at work to get a little extra sleep until someone noticed or asking to be admitted to the hospital for exhaustion. It was rough.
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u/Interesting-Swimmer1 20h ago
It’s hard to tell precisely how long you sleep because of the nature of sleep. I had a sleep study done once and I felt sure i had slept terribly, like only 45 minutes all night. I had actually slept about 7 hours.
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u/FoxTrollolol 20h ago
With my first I struggled with the lack of sleep. She was extremely colicky/reflux and didn't sleep more than an hour or so until she was three months old. Which was only getting me short cat naps by the time I got back to sleep.
My newborn is the polar opposite, she will happily sleep for three hours before waking and honestly 😂 I will take three hours over 30 minute cat naps any given day.
Am I tired as all hell? Absolutely, but I also remember the hell that was a colicky baby and just thank my lucky stars I'm able to function.
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u/babyrabiesfatty 20h ago
When I have a couple 6 hour nights I feel wrecked. Naps and early bedtime were necessities when my little guy was struggling to sleep.
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u/gemcatcher 20h ago
Yes. Some babies are better at sleeping than other. That’s why some parents do “shifts” so one parent can get uninterrupted sleep.
The newborn experience was rough for us, our daughter hardly slept and feeding made it a real challenge. There were a lot of nights where I was lucky to get 3-4 hours. I was determined to Breast pump, so I would feed her, t fry to put her to nap and then pump. And maybe I’ll have some time to either sleep or wash the dishes
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u/prampusher 20h ago
For the first three or four months after my baby was born I got an average of 3-4 hours of broken sleep every night. I was an absolute wreck and fell into a horrendous postpartum depression that lasted almost a year. My baby also kept waking up every two hours to eat (I was breastfeeding her) until she was 8 months old.
It is possible to survive on that little sleep, but you cannot function normally on it. I was constantly desperate for sleep, couldn’t take care of myself, had insane mood swings and a temper that I had never experienced before. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
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u/trashl3y3 19h ago
4-5 is a good night for me, if I’m lucky I’ll get another hour during baby’s first nap but I’ve never been great ay being able to take naps
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u/PossibleOther1515 18h ago
Yes. My son didn’t sleep through the night regularly until he was 5. As a baby, he woke multiple times a night and I had to co-sleep to get any real rest. (I didn’t want to and waited until he was over a year old for safety, so afraid I’d crush him or something) I developed sleep paralysis and major anxiety by the time he was 1 1/2. I was lucky to get 5 hours when he was under 1. Once he was 3, he would usually only wake once in the night and I’d let him sleep with me. It’s a big part of why he’s an only child.
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u/sleepykitty299 18h ago
yes until my baby was 6.5 months and i sleep trained, I was generally getting 2-4 hours per 24 hr period. It was hell. Every day I felt like I was dying and I was just running out the clock on the day but when the sunset started i was paralyzed with fear and anxiety. I was in constant pain. and guess what? I was back to work since 3 months pp, so i was driving to work and somehow working also
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u/carloluyog 18h ago
Yes. On a good night, I’m up to 4 - 4.5. On a bad night, at most 3 - 3.5. It’s broken up. I’ve had less than ten four hour stretches in her 8.5 months.
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u/Delicious_Slide_6883 18h ago
Me. Between baby and working overnights I usually get 3, sometimes 4.
I also work during her naps so I don’t “sleep when the baby sleeps”.
When she was first born I went 6 days without sleep, running off pure adrenaline. Absolutely don’t recommend that one. I was falling asleep standing up at the end of that.
Nowadays, to survive on 3-4 hours, it’s more coffee than I should probably drink.
So yeah, it’s doable, just probably not healthy.
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u/cyborgfeminist 17h ago
I did it for three full years, starting when I was 6 weeks pregnant until my kid was over 2 years old. She was a terrible sleeper.
Do not recommend.
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u/Hundito 17h ago edited 17h ago
It’s not. It’s absolutely horrible. I had to track my son’s sleep when he was 2-6 months old because I couldn’t get him to sleep. He slept 20 minutes at a time and totaled 5.5-7 hours in a 24 hour period. Which is less than half of what he was supposed to get. I have always struggled with insomnia so pre-pregnancy I was at 5-6 hours if I took a pill. I’d either feel like I blinked and 20 minutes was gone and he was screaming, or I was still awake by the time he was up again.
I started hallucinating. I saw shadowy people out of the corner of my eye and heard near constant whispering. I still had to drive to all the doctors appointments to find out what was wrong with my son, and I’d nod off at the wheel unless I was actively eating/drinking. Gained a shitton of weight from eating to stay awake. Especially while driving I would hallucinate animals running across the street. There were days my husband and I thought we were dying. My son hit 7 hours in a night at 14 months old after they figured out he was having some unknown pain in his neck. I had slept almost that whole time and I was so sick. I’d be dizzy for hours from sleeping more than 4 hours but hitting almost 7 made my whole body ill.
My son wouldn’t let anyone else hold him at that 2-6 month age, not even my husband. So I’d put in earplugs while my husband held our screaming son so that I could try to hit 3-4 hours total that day. My husband slept a straight 4 hours most nights and still ended up with PTSD from sleep deprivation torture. Now he gets panic attacks if he feels like he’s being prevented from going to bed.
My case is extreme but I would’ve loved to have gotten a minimum of 3 hours consistently so I completely believe other mums are not exaggerating. It’s hell.
Edit: Sorry I’m all over the place. My kids are still not good sleepers and my dog is sick so I’m tired. Also having written this out, I think I may have actually been dying.
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u/k-hidalgo 17h ago
I always wonder that too. I actually wouldn't function on 3 hours. If I only get 6, my body feels sick from being so tired. When my babies were little, ai had to wake up a lot, but still got 8 hours all put together, plus nap time. Now that my kids are older and I'm working again, I still need at least 8 hours. I have co workers that complain about only getting 5 or 6 hours of sleep, and it just seems impossible to me.
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u/DifficultPop858 16h ago
My youngest was 2 before I got full uninterrupted sleep, and yes there were nights where I would sleep 3 or fewer hours but I wasn’t thriving. I was barely surviving. Now that she sleeps through the night I absolutely prioritize my sleep. I cannot go back to those days. I nearly died (PPD was fierce).
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u/Tulsssa21 16h ago
My daughters 1st year I got 1 hour of broken sleep a night. I "survived" but barely. I planned out ending my life 5(ish) times. Main reason I am 1 and done, I would not survive doing that again. The mere thought of it scares me.
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u/VeilSanctum 16h ago
When my son was about two weeks old I was holding him in the middle of the night after a feeding and also looking at him in his bassinet clear as day. I'll just say that.
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u/TheSorcerersCat 15h ago
I absolutely cannot. So I slept when baby slept to get that first 3-5 hour stretch at first. Which meant I was in bed before 8PM most days until she started sleeping more.
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u/krispin08 14h ago
I survived on 3-4 hours of broken sleep for 14 months. Survived is all I did. My mental health plummeted, I gained tons of weight, my teeth got super fucked up, and my skin was disgusting. I work at a non-profit that serves people with dementia. Took a cognitive test for kicks and was flagged as cognitively impaired. Yes, humans can survive on such little sleep, but they don't function well. My son cemented his place as an only child because I would NEVER do that to myself again. It took about a year after he finally started sleeping for me to feel whole again. I still am weirdly obsessive about my sleep. I don't pass up any opportunity for a nap and I don't stay up past midnight under any circumstances. I know mothers who have multiple children who are all terrible sleepers and I truly don't know how they find the strength.
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u/FeistyMasterpiece872 10h ago
Typing this from my kids bed as i squeeze in next to him and his million stuffies because he cant fall back asleep without me. Can i sleep? No. So what am i doing? Grocery shopping online for food i will be too tired to cook later because my younger one will wake up at 6 am and need mommy, no matter how much daddy tries to let me sleep in.
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u/Pleasant_Award557 7h ago
My daughter woke every hour all night for over a year. Many nights I didn't manage to fall asleep before she woke again. I have done multiple 21h awake days. You survive but you don't feel like it when it's that bad.
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u/JavaLoveC12345 7h ago
Ugh, your body will eventually get used to operating in less and less sleep. My kids were the worst sleepers. With a teenager and toddlers, I still sleep horribly. Unfortunately, my cognition has suffered too. I still do my job, but brain fuzziness/fog is a constant battle.
Hang in there!
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u/Suitable_Space_3369 6h ago
I slept in 15-minute spurts for months after LO was born. It was heinous, and I was sick for months.
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u/LepLepLepLepLep 6h ago
I did 3 hours sleep for a few weeks at the 2-6 weeks mark and let me tell you I was a fucking mess. My baby would scream and cry all the time. Both me and daddy could not get much sleep. I was severely suicidal and daddy was so exhausted he started hallucinating. MIL would take the baby for 8 hours on a Saturday to give us a break to sleep and I was so worked up and anxious about my baby being away that I still couldn't sleep more than 2-3 hours because I couldn't get my brain to shut up and I'd keep thinking I was hearing my baby crying when he wasn't. After baby got lactose free milk it got a lot better but still not great, maybe 4-5 hours sleep a night between weeks 7-11. Now my baby is 12 weeks and both me and daddy sleep much better. I aim to go to bed 3-4 hours before daddy so I get a few hours first and then I do all the night wakings so daddy can attempt to sleep all night since he's back at work, he only got 2 weeks off. Baby sleeps much better and just this week he's started to have one big 4-5 hour sleep per night though this can happen any time from 8pm to 6am so it's impossible to actually make proper planning around it yet, often we'll wait until his next feed and then go to bed and then it turns out it's his king sheep and we're like fuck sake I would've been sleeping this whole time if I knew this was the long sleep. Even when I'm asleep I dream that baby is crying and I'm feeding him and rocking him and then I wake up and I'm like oh I'm in bed and baby is asleep what the hell. I don't know when that's going to stop but I never feel well rested when even asleep I'm caring for baby. Just last night baby slept from 8:30pm till 4:30am. We were shocked. Mindblown. We both didn't go to bed until 1am because we kept thinking he's definitely about to wake up for milk really soon but he just didn't. I'm hoping this is the start of some really great sleep for us all. Fingers crossed.
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u/_mamcia 3h ago
My son is 16 months old and he still doesnt sleep through the night. There are nights where we only get one wake up, but until he was about 1, whoever did the nights with him would get 4-5hrs max, usually around 3hrs.
As a newborn he had feeding issues so the max you would get in a night was about 2hrs between 2hrs feeds, changing, rocking to sleep and then trying to fall asleep yourself. He would be up 20-30mins after you fall asleep. That lasted until he was about 4-5months old, I barely remember that time. Whenever my husband has a day off he would try and give me a night off so I can catch up on sleep. He works 24hrs shifts so needs to be rested for work but whenever he was going to work he’d get up an hour or two early to take over so I can have extra sleep. Even with that I feel like I’m barely surviving and see people that have babies that sleep through at 12 weeks and their parents are absolutely thriving, I am a little jealous. But we are getting better and we get some nights where he doesnt wake up until 3am and that gives me a good solid few hours of sleep.
I’m unfortunately sure there are women (and men) in the same situation with their kids that dont have the same support I do from their partners and end up having barely any sleep.
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u/family_black_sheep 1h ago
Yes. I've always slept badly for as long as I can remember, even as a kid. So when I had kids, it got worse, but even when they sleep through the night, I don't. But I know mine has nothing to do with my kids much anymore.
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u/Naive-Interaction567 23h ago
My baby is 6 months old and I’ve had one night where I got about 2 hours and otherwise I’ve had between 5 and 9. It’s very variable!
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u/ResponseSuitable1413 23h ago
Once in a while I get it … it’s doable .. but I’ve been reading posts about moms with two jobs and night shifts and multiple kids and getting 3 hours per day everyday . Surely that’s not right …
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u/Purplemonkeez 20h ago
I could never get that little sleep. Thankfully my kids were pretty good sleepers, but then we also read a lot about baby sleep & "good sleep hygiene" when I was pregnant and practiced that religiously. I needed 2 nights/week with 6 hrs of uninterrupted sleep where my husband did one of the wake-ups for me and it kept me sane. Before that I was hallucinating and stuff.
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u/Academic_Lie_4945 22h ago
I had a hospital induction with my first born, epidural and everything. I remember being EXHAUSTED to the point of almost hallucinations.
With my second I had a natural birth and labor with no medications or anything. I was HIGH af from my natural birth for like 5 months. 2 hours of sleep? Didn’t matter. I felt great and physically unaffected. The difference in recovery is night and day honestly.
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u/Equal-Course6802 23h ago
Yes - I have had many nights where I slept 3 hrs. I have a 10 month old and last night I think I roughly slept 3-4 hrs all in all. Is it like this everynight? Of course not. But most nights, yeah. Sometimes I lay down and just think about those nights that I used to sleep 8-9 hrs uninterrupted. They seem like something out of fantasy lol.