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u/JerryJr99 9h ago
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u/1OptimusCrime1 9h ago
Look, I knew this man was dumb. But this is literally the very dumbest thing I have ever heard any human being say. And that includes the kid in high school that asked our entire class if people actually wiped until there was no more poop. If we cut interest rates while our economy is in freefall you might as well breakout the Monopoly board because the cash in that will be worth more than the US dollar by Monday morning.
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u/Muthafuckaaaaa 8h ago
the kid in high school that asked our entire class if people actually wiped until there was no more poop
Sooo ummm... Do people actually??
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u/Chroniclyironic1986 8h ago
Na, one and done.
Unrelated, but damn! Why am i so itchy?!
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u/Insanity_Crab 7h ago
Just let it crust over like a scab and tear it off in one go.
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u/Skittle69 6h ago
Why would our hands have fingernails if not for picking dried feces??
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u/NamiSwaaan 5h ago
Ah while we're on the subject, a friendly but stern reminder to anyone who needs to hear it. Some of that "dirt" under your fingernails is fecal matter. Wash your fucking hands please.
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u/1OptimusCrime1 5h ago
I hate you. I'm an empathetic person. I go so very very far out of my way to try and understand anyone I have a disagreement with. But, fuck you. Fuck you for this. It will never leave my brain and we are mortal enemies for it.
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u/1OptimusCrime1 8h ago
Yes brother, yes they do.
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u/LaBelleBetterave 8h ago
Bidet has entered the chat.
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u/Cavinicus 7h ago
Until I got a bidet, I was always annoyed that there seemed to sometimes be that after the first couple of wipes, there would always be just a little bit of poop no matter how many subsequent wipes I made - Louis CK (before the fall) referred to it as "wiping the tip of a magic marker." After I got a bidet, I realized that the "marker" was actually just part of the new solid poop forming in my colon and that the bidet effectively served as an enema. I have the cleanest ass in Chicago now as long as I poop at home.
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u/WilliamJamesMyers 7h ago
this little section of reddit, in the middle of a trump thing, is why i love this sub
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u/Grumpie-cat 7h ago
I swear the bidet and air fryer are on that same level of randomly being brought into a completely unrelated conversation and beginning an entirely different conversation about such items and how having one makes you superior to those without one. 🤣
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u/1OptimusCrime1 6h ago
I'm sorry, are you actually saying that a bidet is completely unrelated to a conversation about whether or not you should clean your butt completely? This seems like exactly the type of conversation that should include a bidet.
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u/Grumpie-cat 5h ago
What I mean is the conversation started with Trumps comment on China. And then segued into bides.
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u/Reason_Choice 9h ago
Literally everything he posted is wrong. Plus, Jerome Powell is a conservative. If he were playing politics, it would be for trump’s side.
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u/EuenovAyabayya 7h ago edited 5h ago
Fiscal conservatives are not on Trump's side.
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u/whiskey_epsilon 6h ago
Fiscal anything would not be on Trump's side, because it implies having some basic understanding of money.
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u/fearlessfroot 8h ago
Are the jobs in the room with us now???
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u/EuenovAyabayya 7h ago
Nobody gonna point out that he also wrote that "interest rates are down" in his demand to cut interest rates? That kind of stood out to me.
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u/Particular_Ticket_20 5h ago
His image?
You narcissist POS, some people actually have policy and planning, they're not just trying to get rallies audiences to love them or worried about ratings.
Fuck you.
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u/Separate_Increase210 4h ago
I still, despite my best efforts, cannot comprehend how and when Trump decides to use quotes.
His random Capitalization of Words makes a little sense -- he likes to do it particularly "important" (to him) words.
But he puts quotes around just he most random fucking shit. WHAT THE FUCK IS "late"?! WHY IS LATE IN QUOTES?? is he being sarcastic, but no he means it literally, what the actual fuck is wrong with his brain?!
Edit: why not "down" and/or "quickly?! This would make sense in quotes! And of course eggs & jobs are capitalized, what in the absolute hell?! How does this dumbass walk & breathe at the same time?!
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u/drawnbutter 6h ago
Trump and his fucking image bullshit. Not everything is branding and popularity contests.
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u/PreacherCoach 9h ago
I love the arrogance in thinking there was only one play another country could do in response.
Like buddy, my Canadian leadership called bullshit right away and pushed back. Clearly that was not expected. Canada!
China has access to an entire other continent. You were never needed there. What did you seriously expect, that China would bow down? Have you met them?!
All that he has accomplished is to force the other countries in the world to look elsewhere for a better trade deal - with out the US influence. Enjoy the perpetually falling revenues on all this.
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u/Boxofmagnets 8h ago
Not to mention that taunting China will cause them to be less cooperative, at very best. But Trump doesn’t want to improve the country, he wants to destroy it
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u/mrmicawber32 4h ago
Many countries will capitulate. We've seen Vietnam and Cambodia do so today. I don't blame them, these countries rely on America and Europe quite a lot.
The EU and China are the biggest US trade partners, and they are not about to bend over and take it. The EU buys like €775 billion of US goods and services every year. Imagine a 20% tariff stuck on that. Although I can see the EU taxing services before goods. It's a two way street, and they are the ones most able to cause harm to the US through trade.
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u/awstream 2h ago
As long as there's nothing vital for survival that no other countries except the US exports, china will be fine. They have farms and factories and the rest of the world are still buying their cheap made in china stuff.
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u/Watching_You_Type 9h ago
See, what you’ve all got to understand is that while China is playing checkers Trump, ever the master strategist, is playing 4D golf.
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u/SaintDecardo 7h ago
It's an acrually pretty fun game once you get the hang of it. https://store.steampowered.com/app/2147950/4D_Golf/
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u/seattleque 6h ago
That looks damn cool!
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u/SaintDecardo 6h ago
It... can be. Humans are not designed to think in a 4-dimentional space. But this was a good tool to help me start to wrap my head around it.
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u/WilliamJamesMyers 9h ago
reminder of the plot of The Emperor's New Clothes, which i believe is the stage Trump is in - one where his advisors will not offer anything but echo chamber:
"The tale concerns an emperor who has an obsession with fancy new clothes, and spends lavishly on them, at the expense of state matters. One day, two con-men visit the emperor's capital. Posing as weavers, they offer to supply him with magnificent clothes that are invisible to those who are either incompetent or stupid. The gullible emperor hires them, and they set up looms and pretend to go to work. A succession of officials, starting with the emperor's wise and competent minister, and then ending with the emperor himself, visit them to check their progress. Each sees that the looms are empty but pretends otherwise to avoid being thought a fool.
Finally, the weavers report that the emperor's suit is finished. They mime dressing him and he sets off in a procession before the whole city. The townsfolk uncomfortably go along with the pretense, not wanting to appear inept or stupid, until a child blurts out that the emperor is wearing nothing at all. The people then realize that they have all been fooled. The emperor is startled, but opts to continue the procession."
written by a Dane, Hans Christian Andersen, and based on other fables it would be ironic predicting Trump's phases. Soon no one close to him will tell him anything but praise. Trump will continue the procession...
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u/optimistickrealist 8h ago
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u/WilliamJamesMyers 8h ago
oh folks might not know this but Trump signed an executive order allowing "jus primae noctis" which is "to give feudal lords the right to have sexual relations with a newlywed bride before her husband"
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u/rhino910 9h ago
Who would have thought voting for a convicted felon and rapist with a multitude of bankruptcies would prove to be disastrous?
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u/TheBlackDemon1996 9h ago
The fuck you mean they played it wrong? What did you think they were gonna do? You guys have been indebted to China for years, you really think they weren't going to reclaim that once you boosted your prices?
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u/ajcpullcom 9h ago
I’m sure China is thrilled US no longer leads the world, and will be happy to assume the role
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u/AcadiaLivid2582 9h ago
China certainly *can* panic -- just watch what happens when a dissident gets a Nobel Prize -- but today China is laughing.
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u/FourArmsFiveLegs 7h ago
37% tariff on US food is no laughing matter. We're the second largest exporter of food to China with Brazil leading the way. This only hurts their people, but Xi would never give a shit about that. He'll just be glad to rake in billions for himself
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u/AcadiaLivid2582 6h ago
The Chinese are delighted with him to the extent that he is often called "Build the Country Trump" (川建国) on the Chinese internet.
(The "country", in this case, refers to China)
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u/FourArmsFiveLegs 5h ago
If you thing starving ordinary people to death to benefit the party is "building China" you're shilling too hard
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u/AcadiaLivid2582 5h ago
Take your complaint up with the laughing, delighted Chinese citizenry
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u/FourArmsFiveLegs 5h ago
That's like MAGA laughing at Libs at their own expense
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u/AcadiaLivid2582 5h ago
If you say so
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u/FourArmsFiveLegs 5h ago
Most of China is fed up with CCP but they end up feeling the absolute worst of the CCP every time there's an uprising of the people
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u/AcadiaLivid2582 5h ago
Look, I have lived and worked in China, speak Chinese, have traveled all over, and know a great deal about the place.
There is no evidence that "Most of China is fed up with the CCP."
I hate the CCP. Most Chinese do not.
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u/FourArmsFiveLegs 5h ago
They're not going to just openly say so and risk punishment. They show it through what CCP calls "revenge on society"
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u/Super_XIII 3h ago edited 3h ago
You realize pretty much every country produces food, right? China isn't going to have it's citizens starving in the streets, they will just buy food from other countries instead.
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u/FourArmsFiveLegs 3h ago
Why would Xi give up his free money made from tariffs to feed some people he doesn't give a shit about?
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u/Super_XIII 3h ago
...because then people will revolt and overthrow him? Xi and the Chinese government aren't stupid, they plan long term and are very good at what they do.
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u/FourArmsFiveLegs 3h ago
Lmao then explain why US food imports into China weren't banned by the CCP
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u/linlin110 6m ago
In this case they think Trump is destroying the US and giving China a competitive edge.
Now the seeing the EU becoming closer to China because the US is no longer a dependable ally, I'd say they do have a point.
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u/HoneycombJackass 9h ago
Trump either is knowingly sabotaging the economy or he really is this stupid. Both are scary.
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u/Mcboatface3sghost 9h ago
It’s weird that you can just make anything up and no one really questions it. This morning I was eaten by a T-Rex but it shit me out, oddly at Waimea Bay, where I borrowed Kelly Slaters board. And surfed a 50 footer to get in while giant tiger sharks chased me, then I hopped on my buddies private jet (a dual seat fighter jet no less) and went to a secret island full of beautiful super flirtatious women and Anthony Bourdain was catering it and marissa tomei was bartending with Diane lane from the late 90’s and Mitch hedberg was doing standup with Sam kinnison and it was open top shelf bar and they had grilled oysters.
See how easy it is. Still doesn’t make it true.
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u/Natural-Ability 7h ago
upvoting for telling it like it is
can't wait to get my ticket to flirtation island when you win top commenter
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u/Mcboatface3sghost 7h ago
I’ll pick you up, my buddy’s getting a 3 person fighter jet. It also has an open bar.
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u/Any_Caramel_9814 8h ago
Trump has always been an idiot. He bankrupted casinos. People happily go give their money away in a casino yet this idiot bankrupted more than 1...
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u/Fragrant_Peanut_9661 8h ago
4 of them. Plus a myriad of business failures. But hey let's elect him to fix us, amirite? I'm tired boss.
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u/optimistickrealist 8h ago
When English is no longer the official language I wonder if the new one will be Mandarin or Russian. Maybe I should just start learning both. And to think I wasted all that time trying to learn Spanish.
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u/santropy 8h ago edited 8h ago
Tangerine toddler about himself right now: -
Look, folks, this guy... a total clown, an absolute disaster—is going to go down as the biggest idiot in history. People are saying it. I’ve seen a lot of idiots, but this one? Unbelievable. Nobody has ever seen anything like it.
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u/dyrnwyn580 8h ago
China's panicked there aren't enough accomodations for when South Korea and Japan send trade delegations.
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u/Main-Video-8545 8h ago
That’s the response of a guy who just realized his mistake. Oops, I didn’t see that one coming. Those aren’t the words of man with a plan.
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u/no_bender 8h ago
China, run by dictators, plans decades ahead. The US, run by Wall Street, plans for the next quarter.
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u/GentleFoxes 7h ago
Also a thing that annoys me since I'm able to read the newspapers: the commentariat equating stock market, or even just S&P and similiar indexes, performance with the overall economy. The recent 20 years have shown that the stock market is happy despite of, maybe because of, the common man being bled dry.
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u/Ok_Airline_9031 6h ago
China has been playing the long game for over ten thousand years. We're barely existed for 249 and mught not make it to 250.
They have walls older than us, buddy.
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u/BehaviorControlTech 5h ago
When you throw bullshit inside your own bubble, it just hits the wall and slides down, leaving a nasty stain
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u/SnortMcChuckles 5h ago
That HE is an idiot we’ve known for decades. That millions of his fans are — now THAT’S the saddest part.
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u/Cosmic_Lust_Temple 5h ago
I didn't even look but I think it's safe to assume Russia's didn't either.
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u/BoredBSEE 3h ago
Again, these idiotic comments aren't for us. They're for his fans. They're the alternate reality that they are tuned in to see.
Doesn't have to be true. Just entertaining.
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u/TheDepresedpsychotic 53m ago
The best part is in order to not look weak America would never remove him so it's 4 yrs of a downwards spiral for you guys. That's 8 yrs between a barely functioning and a complete lunatic president. If I'm wrong do correct me. But this is how it looks from the outside.
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u/MetalMountain2099 7h ago
Pretty sure Beijing was on Holiday today, so we’ll see what Monday looks like. Still think it’ll hurt them quite a bit, but we’ll see.
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u/NateNYC82 9h ago
I hate this motherfucker so much.
He’s going to make us all poor or dead, and he’s going to somehow live happily to 130 on a diet of Big Macs and hatred.