my GF told me when we started dating that she'd noticed a pretty stark difference in the kinds of guys that were interested in her when she was skinny and waifish compared to when she was curvier. she phrased it like one group was interested in vulnerable children, and the other was interested in grown competent women.
Ah yes, of course, skinny women aren’t grown and competent so anyone attracted to them must be attracted to vulnerable people. Next you’re going to say “real women have curves”.
Ah yes, of course, skinny women aren’t grown and competent
no, of course whether or not someone is a competent adult has nothing to do with their weight.
so anyone attracted to them must be attracted to vulnerable people.
no, it's that the people who are attracted to vulnerable people go for the ones that look the most like children, and my GF happened to look significantly younger when she was skinnier. that was about her personal experience, and not a generalization.
Reread the last sentence. You could argue that there is a marked difference between “waifish” and “skinny” but I’m willing to bet that isn’t the argument that’s being made here given that they’re often used interchangeably.
the idea that body type was related to competence.
it's not. at all. she didn't become suddenly more competent when she put on weight, or less competent when she lost weight. she's literally the same person.
the point was about how the creepier, controlling dudes targeted her less when her appearance was one way, vs another, based on their (incorrect!) assumptions about her appearance.
Why not roll my eyes at both? I’m guessing that men didn’t say “I’m attracted to you because you look vulnerable or competent” she (or the commenter) guessed that for whatever reason and inadvertently (I assume) put down women that weren’t like her.
one of her exes was abusive and controlling, expressed interest in younger women, and had online habits that, lets say were suspicious and paranoid and probably indicative of some dark web activity.
another was literally twice her age.
and inadvertently (I assume) put down women that weren’t like her.
nobody's putting down any women. i'm not sure how you jumped from "creepy dudes think skinnier, younger looking women make better targets" to "OP must agree with those dudes!"
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u/arachnophilia Jan 08 '20 edited Jan 08 '20
my GF told me when we started dating that she'd noticed a pretty stark difference in the kinds of guys that were interested in her when she was skinny and waifish compared to when she was curvier. she phrased it like one group was interested in vulnerable children, and the other was interested in grown competent women.