article Jesse Lacey Facing Previously Undisclosed Grooming Allegation As Brand New Mount Comeback Attempt
https://www.stereogum.com/2303198/jesse-lacey-facing-previously-undisclosed-grooming-allegation-as-brand-new-mount-comeback-attempt/news/454
u/Rebal771 1d ago
Yeah we know - it’s the same time period and there’s no reason to think that multiple girls weren’t treated this way.
“Restitution” is wild tho.
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u/kiyonemakibi100 1d ago
These arguments are going around in circles and it's all pointless, if enough people want to go to their gigs and buy any new album then there's nothing anyone can do about it, and trust me the people going to any comeback gigs aren't listening to anyone online yelling at them about it and the venues won't care if they're making money from it.
(my general Brand New perspective is I have zero interest in what they do going forward but you can prise their past albums from my cold, dead hands, I still listen to Led Zeppelin so I'm going to hell anyway)
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u/smjb 1d ago
Genuinely curious - why is there no interest in new music? Their latest album prior hiatus was amazing. Personally I can’t wait to see what else they do
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u/bitchysquid 1d ago
I guess because it’s hard for some people to connect to and bond with a new album when they’re going in already knowing the artist is guilty of sexual assault or grooming. Like with Ryan Adams — I adored his albums prior to finding out he was more than a garden variety asshole, but anything he released after Prisoner I just have no desire to listen to. I will never get to form a memory of listening to it that isn’t tainted by what he’s done and who he is.
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u/PlasticCheebus 14h ago
I was a huge Ryan Adams fan. Had almost everything he did. And now I can even summon the interest to listen to him. Like, I just don't care anymore.
I think a lot of it has to do with how emotionally connected to the music you are. It feels like a personal betrayal, especially with 'heartfelt' music.
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u/expunks 1d ago
I have conflicting thoughts about a lot of it. Is it creepy, manipulative, and clearly abuse of a parasocial relationship? Without a doubt. And yeah, it had long-lasting damage to the girl's self-esteem at a really pivotal time in her life.
But at the end of the day, it was a consensual, parent-approved, strictly platonic friendship... Like, I don't know, are we really lumping some grown-ass loser playing World of Warcraft and having dinner with her parents and putting his arm around her (once) in with actual victims and perpetrators of sexual assault and domestic violence? Seems fucking wild.
Dude's a creep and it all skeeves me out as someone that was a fan – but taking an 8 year exile, apologizing, and getting help IS the accountability. What else do people want? Jail time? A face-to-face apology? To never play music again? I don't know man.
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u/frenchtoastwizard 1d ago
I love how David Bowie is treated like some kind of God and he never once acknowledged his much worse behavior, Marilyn Manson writes a book about how awful he was, Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, ect ect ect but Jesse Lacey who is relatively unknown by comparison to those huge stars makes an effort at contrition and he is still the worst person in the world to some folks.
The truth of the matter is when you put young men in a position of power, and the adoring fans are even younger girls, those young men are going to make stupid decisions. Then you've got your Diddy types who have an empire and well we see the damage manifesting in Justin Bieber right now.
The strangest thing to me, about these new accusations is that the parents knew. Beibers mother knew. Lots of parents knew. Who are these parents? They need to be held accountable as well.
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u/snitch_or_die_tryin 1d ago
Omg I’ve heard the stories of Led Zeppelin…it’s treated as legend-of-rock lore. Like, beating and screwing women with fish or iron rods, or young girls…it’s treated as “wow how wild! Different times! Better times!” It makes me disgusted
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u/JulPollitt 1d ago
Didn’t that singer from Red Hot Chili Peppers admit in his book to basically dating like a 14 year old and even sleeping with her? But like this stuff is a no no? It’s odd
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u/frenchtoastwizard 1d ago edited 1d ago
He drug her around on tour and then basically dumped her off
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u/After_Tax3954 1d ago
Has everything to do with their scene. Emo/alt/punk has always been inclusive and is way bigger on holding these “leaders” of the scene accountable when they do fuck shit. Boomers listening to Chili Peppers and Aerosmith will be told to their face that they enjoy pedophile rock and won’t care.
Whats the line for accountability? The correct amount of time? Not sure. I think a lot of people are just forever put off by it and it’s not like “okay once you finish this course I will like you again.” It’s just over for a lot of people, online at least.
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u/ryanstrikesback 1d ago edited 1d ago
Honestly I can’t believe people give Kiedis money anymore. Dude wrote a book and went full “accidentally slept with a 14 year old, returned her to her parents when I found out….but hit it one last time for the road”
And…..no one…..did….anything
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u/Da_Pendent_Emu 1d ago
Boomers? Fuck me.
Here’s a bit about legal child marriage in the US today.
This is bigger than some “scene”.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_marriage_in_the_United_States
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u/bendybiznatch 1d ago
I’ve had a reckoning with that lately. Add in Prince, Aerosmith (I can’t even look at Steven Tyler anymore), and a few others and my music library has taken some hard hits.
I can’t imagine how Tori Amos feels.
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u/AntJustin 1d ago
Worded perfectly. it's really why I quit really concerning myself with these things. The outliers would people like Diddy that created an empire of it.
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u/zombawombacomba 1d ago
It’s because brand new was very popular with the online tumblr scene and those people are notorious for being terminally online.
Chris Brown is an attempted murderer and domestic abuser and yet he’s still touring arenas. Like I don’t think what Lacey did was good and if someone wanted to press charges I think he probably would have gone to jail for a few years. But at the same time there needs to be a way for someone to change and as a society we need to accept them back in some sort of way.
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u/Mokslininkas 1d ago
Like I don’t think what Lacey did was good and if someone wanted to press charges I think he probably would have gone to jail for a few years.
Why would he have gone to jail? None of the accusers have ever produced any hard evidence of a relationship between them and Jesse. These pictures (taken by and with the accuser's mom) are the only proof any of these women have even spent time in the same room as Jesse. From day one, this has all been hearsay. It's absurd.
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u/maxwellsearcy 1d ago
You have to think that's because there is no evidence. The accusers who are calling for him to be more accountable are the ones who could (allegedly) hold him accountable, but just... aren't? The Medium article talks about the law not "catching up," but grooming IS a crime. Child exploitation IS a crime. And there's no statute of limitations on them at the federal level. If this is really really true, then call the FBI. Demand they investigate and stop this horrible monster from doing these things again! Unless... it isn't actually about that? Unless there's absolutely nothing he could do to absolve himself of whatever it is he's done.
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u/Rebal771 1d ago
There is also a place to put people on trial for their legal transgressions, and the court of public opinion is NOT the correct venue.
If anything, every time this pot gets stirred, the controversy keeps adding more listens to their music. Brand New isn’t in my full time playlist rotations much anymore…but I always seem to think of a few songs I want to hear every time I read these threads.
This might be backfiring in 2025?
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u/zombawombacomba 1d ago
Well it certainly isn’t gonna change anyone’s mind I don’t think. People are paying 300 bucks for pit tickets and they are selling out.
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u/KobeOnKush 1d ago
What he did definitely wasn’t cool, but people treating him as if he’s Harvey Weinstein is a fucking joke and belittles actual SA victims.
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u/hypersnaildeluxe 1d ago
Strictly platonic? He told her he was in love with her. He and the tour manager would message her about how much they wanted to cuddle her.
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u/ArguesWifChildren 1d ago
Right? I hate how people downplay this. Plus things like "well other more popular artists have done worse". Like... Gross. What he did was fucked... Point blank period. Listen to his music, go to his concert, I don't give a damn. But do we really need to try to find reasons to justify or excuse his actions?
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u/False-Hat1110 1d ago
The only reason it probably didn't go farther is because the parents were around. If they were checked out she would have been more vulnerable.
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u/StillBummedNouns 1d ago
You can drop the word “probably.” We know it would’ve went farther based on how he’s treated other young girls around him whose parents weren’t aware
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u/Youreturningviolet 1d ago
Yeah, this is about where I land. I believe Jesse Lacey used his fame and attractive image to manipulate and abuse underaged fans. I believed that when the first allegations came out so any new ones based in that same time don’t change anything for me. I believe a lot of guys in the scene did the same thing and I hope they see it for the disgusting behavior that it was, but most of them probably don’t. I do think maybe Lacey does, because he has sought professional treatment for sex addiction.
I still occasionally listen to Brand New, because even if Jesse Lacey doesn’t actually repent in his heart of hearts, I don’t think the few fractions of a cent he gets from me streaming his songs in a fit of nostalgia are going to be the thing that enables him to hurt anyone else. But I wouldn’t go see them, mainly because so much of their first two albums feels gross when you know the songs that are clearly about manipulating women into sleeping with you are not only not coming from the POV of an exaggerated persona, but are also potentially about underaged girls.
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u/woppatown 14h ago
Yeah. I think the fact that they’re having a comeback after the previous allegations shows that people can change and should have the opportunity to show that they have. Otherwise why should anyone even try to be better? If it were a new allegation it would be one thing, but this is from the same time period as the previous ones. It’s not like any of us assumed that the previous allegations were the only ones at the time anyway. He should be allowed to tour and the victim should get legal compensation. That’s all. I also have a feeling he’ll handle this gracefully.
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u/smax410 1d ago
So she’s coming forward now because she didn’t like his apology 8 years ago. He’s a piece of shit, but he didn’t deny wrong doing. He didn’t name any of his victims or seek to silence anyone. She says he didn’t make an attempt at restitution, which is almost assuredly going to seem like he’s trying to silence people. He also sought treatment long before any of the allegations came out.
Again, he’s a pos, but under the circumstances, he kind of did everything you’d want a predator to do.
I absolutely think she has the right to come out and say people should know about what he did to her as well, but if she feels like she’s owed restitution in some way, ask for it because again, him going to her while she hasn’t gone public is a good way to out her trauma or look like he is trying to buy her silence.
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u/OhioMambo 1d ago
Dude, take your measured and thoughtful comment somewhere else, this is the internet, there's only black and white.
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u/lemurgetsatreat 1d ago
He USED to be a piece of shit. People can change. Even my baby knows that.
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u/smax410 1d ago
He might’ve changed. Idk. I’d still go see his show because he actually made an apology and sought treatment before he got caught.
I do have some conflicting feelings considering he apparently sought treatment more than a decade before it came to light in 17, which means he was grooming this new woman coming forward while he was in or already had completed treatment.
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u/AnonyFron 1d ago
Therapy, charity work and forgiveness/good terms/support from your accuser years before anything became public mean nothing to people who want to take on the trauma of others and fly their own flag.
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u/bigbeefer92 1d ago
I thought it was public knowledge that he was a scumbag. Didn't he have a whole thing in the late aughts early '10s?
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u/ClimateAncient6647 1d ago
He was an asshole in the early 00’s. Met him at warped tour 2003 and he was a dick. Super short with fans, didn’t even wanna be there, and was insulting to the crowd.
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u/mikethemaniac 1d ago
Weird. I met him in my local record shop with the rest of the band in 2006-7 or so. He was super nice as were his band mates. Did a private show in the shop and were very personable for autographs and that.
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u/Late_Ambassador7470 1d ago
People are complex.
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u/FraGZombie 1d ago
Yup. I've met the lead singer of Senses Fail a few times. First time he was a complete dick, but the other two times he was super down to earth and Chill. Sometimes you catch people on a bad day. And I'd imagine the slog of a grind that was warped tour would make anyone a tad rude.
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u/MrsSmith2246 1d ago
Could you imagine being famous and people can literally see you at any time in public and tell the world you’re one way based on a 30 second encounter?? I’ve judged celebs but as I get older I think of all the grace ive been given and how I should give some more (to celebrities who don’t know I exist haha)
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u/kirinmay 1d ago
well he also suffers from mental illness (as i do) and we are complex. something could just set us off if we're in an episode. we don't mean it and we really do try our best to realize whats up and to try and control it.
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u/techerous26 1d ago
Could be something to this, I feel like you often heard about artists being rude at warped tour. I know the one encounter I had where my buddy and I met the bassist for Less Than Jake at their tent he was kind of short with us. In his defense, we were passing out index cards with a joke and our bands MySpace url (look at what little marketing geniuses we were, haha) and asked him to sign one for our bassist, which looking back on it was pretty entitled for us to do. As fun as it is, I have to imagine choosing a career that has you spending every summer interacting with awkward teenagers in an environment that they feel the least inhibited in until you retire would get irksome.
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u/alicehooper 1d ago
Honestly, it’s freaking hot most of the time and you’re all sticky and sweaty and sometimes sunburnt/heatstroked because you keep losing your hat. Everyone on tour has been drunk and annoying for weeks. You want to see YOUR favourite bands but can’t because you’re someone else’s favourite band… you’re shy but some fan just embarrassed you by saying hi at the exact moment your gut was roiling from greasy fairground food and day drinking. You thought you might have to puke in front of everyone and cut the fan off. The stupid security guys don’t recognize your backstage pass but are totally fine with your band mates for some reason and you are pissed off. Plus companies like Monster Drink are handing out lukewarm cans of caffeine nightmare sugar which you stupidly drink and you’re not sure if you’re having a panic attack or a heart attack. Someone runs up to you and tells you to get on stage NOW because they just bumped the order. You’re not in the headspace yet so are kind of a spaced out dick on stage. After you play you just want a nap but the drummer has brought someone back to the RV/bus and they are having loud gross sex all over the back bed and you stupidly left your pillow on there from your last nap. You go find a corner and pass out on top of a giant speaker. You wake up with the chills and realize you must have the flu. Only 4 more shows to go!
As told to me by someone who played a bunch of Warped shows. I only played one, but the lukewarm Monster is a vivid memory for the rest of my life. Like your vomit was nuclear waste.
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u/Outrageous-Region675 22h ago
Lukewarm Monster in the heat! Warped Tour was always the hottest day of the year for me!
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u/insyzygy322 21h ago
I remember one of the later years. Maybe like 2015? They were giving out Takis, and after a long day of not eating anything except the fries that people didn't finish and would leave in their trays or all around the garbage and tables, I was HUNGRY.
Bags of takis that were actually HOT from sitting in the sun all day and a lukewarm monster. Yum!
Not much crowds surfing or moshing after that lol
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u/FraGZombie 1d ago
I love that story so much. It's a perfect analogy of what the warped tour experience was. I loved meeting all the attendees who were also trying to hustle their own band's MySpace page/demo CD. I hope all those bands went on to get signed and live their dream 😭🤟
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u/zilla82 1d ago
All it takes is following along listening to his music to know where is at in life. Him in particular.
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u/FraGZombie 1d ago
And not coincidentally, that first time I met him was warped tour 2006, right when they would have been working on Still Searching.
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u/zilla82 1d ago
One of my favorite records. That record helped me immensely. Even in just not being alone in the misery. Years later it's harder for me to listen to.
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u/Melodic_Concept_4624 1d ago
Underrated comment - Reddit does not understand this lol
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u/SCAMISHAbyNIGHT 1d ago edited 1d ago
Because everyone articulates their experiences as impenetrable fact and indicators of permanent behavior.
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u/TheYardFlamingos 1d ago
If people understood this, social media comment sections would be 10% of their current size
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u/False-Hat1110 1d ago
So... TBS was right.
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u/morecowbell1988 1d ago edited 1d ago
I saw TBS but the lead singer was having his kid that night. The lead singer of Underoath filled in. And holy shit what a show I’ll never see again
Edit: It was Spencer.
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u/theme69 1d ago
That’s so lucky cuz when I saw TBS a year or so ago the lead singer was by far the worst part of the show. He kept swinging his mic around by the cord and you couldn’t hear him sing like 70% of the songs
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u/Brian-not-Ryan Spotify 1d ago
Mics are for singing not swinging
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u/TehHugMonster 1d ago
You tell that to Cedric Bixler-Zavala
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u/phalluss 1d ago
The comment you're replying to is lifted directly from a shirt from the time Brand New and Taking Back Sunday had an orchestrated "beef" to pump up both bands album sales. The singer of Taking Back Sunday is always flinging that damn mic around.
For the record I think swinging a mic around looks cool as fuck when done right
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u/OwlConsistent9199 1d ago
I've only seen tbs recently, twice in the last 2 years, he was terrible. He also came out on the stage when The Maine was playing and tried to sing along and ruined it. Some people shouldn't do drugs.
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u/MayonnaiseOreo 1d ago
Adam has sucked live for 20 years. TBS ain't worth seeing coming from someone that's seen them 3 times.
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u/PoorlyTimedKanye 1d ago
Gillespie or Chamberlin?
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u/bettytwokills 1d ago
I would assume Gillespie, i can actually picture him singing TBS songs.
edit: there’s a video of spencer singing for them in 2013 so maybe not
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u/Leut_Aldo_Raine 1d ago
That sounds amazing! My best show ever was TBS followed by Every Time I Die. Would've been something else if Keith Buckley stepped in for a couple TBS tracks.
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u/jewpanda 1d ago
I'm so bummed about ETID. One of my favorite bands of all time.
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u/Rebal771 1d ago
Yeah but they are terrible live performers, Brand New is fucking amazing live.
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u/decimalsanddollars 1d ago
Typically, but they were also responsible for one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen.
Bamboozle in Asbury Park NJ like 13ish years ago.
Brand New played the main stage. Jesse spent most of the set laying flat on his back with a towel over his head. Couldn’t even hear his singing and he was clearly hungover, sick or super depressed.Drove like six hours for that show. Was absolutely gutted.
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u/o-h-m-RICE 1d ago
I saw Brand New at Rutgersfest around the same time period and they were worse than Taking Back Sunday at their worst, and I’ve seen a lot of TBS shows where Adam lost the plot. Lacey was insulting the crowd and just sounded awful, the rest of the band were playing the same songs at different tempos, it was a shitshow.
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u/False-Hat1110 1d ago
Brand New wasn't always great live. Jesse was drunk at least two of the times I saw them.
TBS is terrible but at least they're live. Adam doesn't need to remember all the words to lead the song along. Then you see a band like Chiodos with a super obvious backing track.
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u/Bluehen55 1d ago edited 1d ago
Brand New is super hit or miss live. Either incredible or terrible.
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u/_LyleLanley_ 1d ago
All that other shit aside, Warped Tour was one of shittiest touring festivals from production side of things. Nothing but scam producers, paying pennies, ripping off artists, crew, and the attending public.
Source: I have many Warp tour productions under my belt.
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u/xavPa-64 1d ago
Ive met several of my then-favorite bands at warped tour and I could always tell they were not having a great time lol. I’ve since learned to never judge any artist by how they acted at Warped Tour.
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u/ThinkThankThonk 1d ago
A lot of people were hanging their hat on the idea that there was only one incident to justify going to these shows ("what more can he do to show he's repentant??"), so this would kinda blow up that reasoning.
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u/Bovine_Joni_Himself 1d ago
I honestly hadn’t seen that justification. What I saw was that he admitted he fucked up and people should be allowed to rehabilitate.
Which is a sentiment I generally agree with, though personally the fact that he wrote their best music during the time he’s trying to made atonement’s for taints the whole thing. My life doesn’t change without Brand New in it.
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u/smax410 1d ago
What’s funny is he had already gone through treatment for sexual addiction a decade prior to the women coming forward (the abuse was prior to him going to treatment).
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u/smax410 1d ago
It was like four or five women who came out in the original incident. He didn’t deny any of it. So it stands to reason that there were more victims out there.
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u/isarealhebrew 1d ago
This. When one person accuses someone of something, you think "OH he did a monstrous thing." When more than one come forward, you think "OH there's a few that we know about."
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u/goodusernamegood 1d ago
Seen plenty of Brand New fans claim, based on absolutely nothing, that he wasn't aware his victims were minors. Seen others claim the victims came forward later and admitted they were actually of age. All bullshit spun out of nothing.
It's clear from some of the comments in here that plenty of people defending Jesse aren't doing so because they think he's "rehabilitated," they're doing it because they don't think he did anything wrong.
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u/BigLorry 1d ago
Which is insane, becuase their argument is “hurr durr he apologized”, and yet his apology makes is crystal clear it was not just one woman.
So not sure what kind of mental gymnastics those people were doing with themselves, but Gold Medal for them I guess…
The apology:
““I was selfish, narcissistic, and insensitive in my past, and there are a number of people who have had to shoulder the burden of my failures. I apologize for the hurt I have caused, and hope to be able to take the correct actions to earn forgiveness and trust,” he wrote. “I am sorry for how I have hurt people, mistreated them, lied, and cheated. I am sorry for ignoring the way in which my position, status, and power as a member of a band affected the way people viewed me or their approach to their interactions with me. And I am sorry for how often I have not afforded women the respect, support, or honesty that they deserved.””
So uh….ok then lol.
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u/CaptainJackKevorkian 1d ago
So uh….ok then lol.
I mean... he's offering a thoughtful and contrite apology, he's been out of the limelight for like years, can people be forgiven?
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u/jlctush 1d ago
I never understand the leap between forgiving someone and literally allowing them every privilege they had previously and essentially acting as if it never happened.
Like, people can be rehabilitated, but that doesn't mean they're entitled to a platform? We're allowed to deny people an unnecessary privilege indefinitely and that's not contradictory with forgiving them or encouraging them to be better. It's also kinda shitty 'cause, while I can't speak to the specifics of this instance, 99% of the time the "rehabilitation" is an apology of varying quality and....literally nothing else. There's *absolutely* no reason to trust someone with a platform in those instances.
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u/clonemusic 1d ago
He asked girls for nudes when he was like 22, lock him up for life and never allow him to play music again.
Nah, people want to see their band (I never have and probably never will). A "platform" is hilariously dramatic for this, but don't expect much else from reddit.
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u/oreofro 1d ago
Yes, of course people can be forgiven.
That doesn't mean that people need to forgive him. Giving an apology and being "out of the limelight" doesn't do anything to fix the fact that he groomed kids.
I'm honestly not even sure why you would say this as if what he did isn't the bare minimum.
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u/CaptainJackKevorkian 1d ago
I wouldn't say it's the bare minimum at all. He gave up his job or passion or calling, whatever you'd like to label it, and all the money and attention that could have been garnered for it, for eight years, while also being rather up-front about what he did (compared to most public figures at least) and offering apologies and going through therapy.
I guess, what would "fix" it?
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u/jimsmisc 1d ago
There is no redemption as long as there are internet points to be won by continuing to punish someone for the same crime.
I moderated a music forum with private messaging in the aughts. Most of your heroes were doing the same shit Jesse was doing; they just didn't get caught.
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u/False-Hat1110 1d ago
What are you saying here.... You moderated a forum and saw children being exploited... and did nothing?
Also Jesse never "got caught" even tho he admitted it - he will never see any legal repercussions.
Finally, I am not cool with child abuse or sexual assault from anyone including my heros. It wasn't hard to cut out Brand New or Saves the Day, there's lots of other good music out there.
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u/NothinButFett 1d ago
Is it really surprising that where there’s one victim, there may be more? As if a man with access to that many underage fans would stop at inappropriate behavior with just one. Decide for yourself.
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u/Alikona_05 1d ago edited 1d ago
I think the wildest part of that story is that her parents seemed to enable that behavior. As much as he is to blame for his actions, her parents failed her so much.
Also the band manager…. If I recall correctly he played a creepy part in the other 2 girls stories. wtf isn’t his name being blasted for the shit he facilitated?
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u/BigLorry 1d ago
Never underestimate a parents ability to throw their child to the wolves if there’s even a whiff of fame, money, or power involved
Hollywood is an absolute travesty in this regard, unfortunately
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u/munchyslacks 1d ago
I have an acquaintance that has or had a pretty personal connection with another artist, who oddly enough runs in the same circles as Brand New, with a mother that fully endorsed the relationship. I don’t know enough to know that it wasn’t anything beyond platonic, but there was a big age gap. Her mother definitely seemed to be filling the “cool mom” role, functioning as a best friend and even having a friendship with this artist too.
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u/deadbeatsummers 1d ago
I wonder if her PSTD/issues stemming after this were more so because of her parents seemingly letting it all happen? Probably an indicator of a bigger problem too
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u/jmerica 1d ago
Her parents didn’t think their 16 year old hanging out with a famous musician wasn’t a bit weird.. is weird.
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u/NothinButFett 1d ago
Yeah that’s on the parents as well. Like, why on earth would they think that was normal/a good idea?
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u/Monchifries 1d ago
I’ve been saying this! And I got chewed out for it . People dont want to hear reasoning . They want his head
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u/False-Hat1110 1d ago
Two things can be true.
Parents are terrible but so is Jesse.
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u/Monchifries 1d ago
Yes! That was what I stated. He was gross and despicable but the parents suck for allowing the girls to be in the situation.
But apparently it makes me a pedo apologist for thinking that way
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u/kingjuicepouch 1d ago
Probably an issue of messaging. If you don't make it clear that the singer is a creepy weirdo it comes off like trying to make excuses for him
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u/Confusion_Cocoon 1d ago
Especially when so many of his lyrics are about how bad of a person he thinks he is. Maybe he had a point.
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u/shaunster101 1d ago edited 1d ago
You can't read that and not think the bloke is just a wrong 'un. If you're a male (or female for that matter) in their mid-20s and you're having this kind of relationship with a 15/16 year old, you're fucked up.
You're in a popular band, if it's REALLY something you want to do then there's probably no end of consenting adults of your own age to 'hang out' with. But instead you're targeting teenagers. Gross.
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u/NothinButFett 1d ago
Exactly. It’s not hard to be an adult and not hang out with teenagers. Most of us can manage that just fine. Because we have no desire to. No reason to. Usually there’s one reason a person pushing 30 would want to hang out with a teen. And most people will refuse to support that. And yet, their shows still sellout.
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u/ALKCRKDeuce 1d ago
Agreed- I coached high school sports during a time Snapchat was at the heights and several of the athletes I coached tried to add me. Immediately declined. I changed all social media names to try to develop a boundary.
My school had a rule that when speaking with an athlete 1-on-1 it was done with a second adult present and in an approved room. Even once, I had a kid (teenager) unable to provide transportation to a game due to a school closure and parents’ work schedule. I had to get a written permission slip from the athletic director and the kids’ parents allowing me to drive the student to the game.
Even with my in-law family, I am extremely careful to change the relationship once the kids I saw grow up started getting older- such as maturing from the cute 4 year old kissing me on the cheek to the now 15 year old giving a very brief hug when seeing them again.
So many have let down the adult mentor to a younger person. I understand every precaution, and as a parent now, I’m in the vigilant mode. But it’s truly a shame this is the world that we live in now or have now come to know/understand.
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u/NothinButFett 1d ago
This response has truly given me hope. I’ve gotten a lot of angry messages for my many comments about this topic but yours has made me feel like I’m not crazy. I’m so glad you have this viewpoint and those boundaries. It is of course, the adult’s responsibility to make sure even just the optics of a situation aren’t bad. Thank you for sharing. Protect children at all costs.
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u/RustedAxe88 1d ago
Yeah, I remember back in the MySpace days, this girl friend requested me. Her profile pic was a dog and I knew a few people with her name, so I asked her who she was. She told me her name and that she was sixteen. I was twenty at the time, so I immediately tried to shut it down. She kept messaging me, asking me my age and calling me hot, so I eventually responded with, "20, too old for a sixteen year old." which ended it.
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u/SuperTeamRyan 1d ago
To be fair there are adults that do mentorships. Of course it's usually more structured and there is usually some organization to somewhat screen weirdos out.
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u/NothinButFett 1d ago
Of course mentoring is different. A grown man in a band hanging out with girls that are in high school, on a tour bus, is not mentoring. It’s inappropriate, even if nothing sexual happened.
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u/ResponsibleCulture43 1d ago
I'm in my early 30s and help manage an arts non profit where most of our volunteers are high schoolers. I wouldn't even WANT to hang out with them. I don't want them texting me, I don't want to spend 1:1 time with them outside of the non profit space. They're children and a lot of them I think are very cool young people who will be cool adults one day but I got nothing to talk to them about outside of casual chats. I'm there if they want to talk to me about something serious (I'm trans and we get a lot of LGBT youth coming in) and I'm happy to be there but you gotta draw hard boundaries. Ain't no way I'm giving these kids my MMO screen names to play with them in my free time lol
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u/Shoottheradio Music School Dropout 1d ago
Unfortunately, you are probably right and statistically are right. That type of behavior is kind of like a drug when you start doing it it mounts on top of each other and you keep wanting to do it more and more and more. I don't have any background in that type of field but I do watch a lot of Law and Order SVU.
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u/ValiantWh0r3 1d ago
So he was platonically friends with, with her parents full knowledge and approval, and never did anything sexual with her? What are we doing here? Am I supposed to be outraged?
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u/Nibsandnubs 1d ago
Did we read the same article? She was 15 and he was buying her swimsuits, putting his arm around her, “snuggling” her in the tour bus, and shaming her for talking about it to her friends saying people wouldn’t “understand their relationship”.
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u/4ph3x2w1n 1d ago
Weird that the parents responsibility are not really mentioned here.
It was fucked up what he did, but nothing sexual happened.
Many more famous artists who we all listen to have done much much worse with no apology accountability or questioning
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u/2reddit4me 1d ago
I found this part of his wiki page to be interesting:
Prior to forming Brand New, Lacey attended Nassau Community College on Long Island for three years, studying child psychology and elementary education.
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u/IRLconsequences 1d ago
Brand New
Ohhh, ok. That's the information I was missing, because I have never heard this dude's name before in my life.
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u/naturalscience 1d ago edited 1d ago
So her family (including her parents) were apparently okay enough with their relationship to allow them him to join them at dinner on vacation, but now that they’re reuniting it’s a bad thing? Alright..
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u/ClimateAncient6647 1d ago
Yeah, this girls parents fucking suck. I mentioned this in another post, I wouldn’t ever let my 15 year old kid befriend a musician that 10 years older than my kid.
The parents are a disgrace.
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u/tin-omen 1d ago
Her parents failed her for sure, idk if she realizes that or not. When I was a 15 year old girl, the last thing my mom would have done was encourage me to hang out with a man in his mid 20s on his tour bus and have us all go out to dinner together. She would have told me absolutely the fuck NOT and then told him to go kick rocks
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u/BigLorry 1d ago
Buddy do I have a bridge to sell you if you think all parents intrinsically have their children’s best interest at heart, especially when it involves fame and money.
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u/Appropriate_Set8166 1d ago
Everyone keeps talking about the fame and money but it’s Brand New… do we really consider them rich and famous? I know they’re huge in their genre but i highly doubt they’re millionaires living the rich life. I’d imagine more middle to mid-upper class at best
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u/Ok-Instruction830 1d ago
Boy for a bunch of self proclaimed progressives, yall really look at rehabilitation of the individual like some boomers.
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u/PunishedBravy 1d ago
Idk exactly what I want to hear from him over this. Like, yeah there are bound to be more victims to his predation, on the other hand he’s likely not a predator anymore, or more accurately have less people to be predatory over.
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u/Brett_Hulls_Foot 1d ago
In high school my girlfriend was obsessed with Jesse and Brand New.
She went to a show with the intent to sleep with him. Her and a friend got backstage, but were too high on mdma and it annoyed the band.
They struck out and I made fun of them, especially since the allegations were “known” then. “You’re probably the only underage groupies, that failed at fucking the band… ever.”
They were 16/17 at the time.
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u/OkJose3000 1d ago
You were cool with your 16 year old high school girlfriend going to the brand new show to do drugs and explicitly try and fuck the singer?
Nah…calling bullshit on this
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u/wtvfck 1d ago edited 1d ago
Um yes breaking news: teenage girls are dumb and impressionable looking for validation everywhere, and rockstars take advantage of that! Who’d of thunk!
my husband works in the music industry and I can almost promise you your favourite band has also taken advantage of their fans.
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u/xxjunecleaverxx 1d ago
Not just people in the music industry...and honestly not just men are guilty of this.
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u/FeralDrood 1d ago
Don't hit me with these hard truths right now pls
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u/wtvfck 1d ago
It goes down even to the bands crews, “yeah I can get you backstage, I can get you on the tour bus, I can get you a signed shirt” - people abuse their positions and impressionable teenage girls think it’s thrilling and there are no consent forms going around verifying ages.
I’m a feminist, and I believe victims. But I also know that as a weak minded, attention seeking teenage girl myself, I did a lot of shit I deeply regret. And I also believe that when men own up to their predatory behaviour, name it and call attention to it, as a society, we should hold space for rehabilitation.
I don’t mean to sound heartless, or like I am victim blaming, but groupies have a name for a reason…
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u/Brett_Hulls_Foot 1d ago
I wasn’t but she was determined and I couldn’t stop her. We broke up shortly after that.
You don’t have to believe me internet stranger, but that’s how it happened.
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u/baconwrappedpikachu 1d ago
How is it so hard to believe lol. High school is prime time for a lot of people for getting treated like shit and not quite realizing how to navigate it for yourself. Like… kind of what the entire discussion of grooming hinges on is the inherent emotional immaturity of teenagers
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u/Brett_Hulls_Foot 1d ago
For real, especially in that time period, early to mid 2000’s in my experience.
When I was in grade 9, a good number of girls my age were dating Grade 12s or even guys in College. We thought it was sleazy back then, even more so now.
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u/SP_Ranallo 1d ago
“They were not allowed to join the afterparty, but Lacey allegedly insisted on driving them back to our hotel.” Sloppy writing / editing.
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u/xxjunecleaverxx 1d ago
Didn't the lake house story seem kind of weird too? Like I thought from the writing that this was some private thing Jesse Lacey set up to further victimize the girl but he straight up invites the whole audience. Oh, the horror!
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u/RamonesRazor 1d ago
Befriending a high schooler to the degree that you have dinner with them and their family is so fucking bizarre. He was like 29 when that dinner happened. Was nobody asking questions about any of this? Her mom? His friends? Anyone in her family? Complete failure on the part of every single adult that was around this situation.
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u/OopsIOops 1d ago
“When I was 15 I tried as hard as I could to get the singer of my favorite band to fuck me. He wouldn’t though, even though I got my mom’s help. Now, 20 years later, my child self is still seeking the adult validation my parents couldn’t provide and I’d rather use an entertainment platform for attention than have to blame the people who raised me.”
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u/Icy_Dependent_4750 1d ago
This is blown way out of proportion. Nothing even happened.
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u/IndecisiveTuna 1d ago
Jesse Lacey is the scapegoat for this shit. I’m not even sure why when Brand New is a relatively niche band compared to actual big names.
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u/exactoctopus 1d ago
Their fame level is why Jesse is the scapegoat. They're not obscure enough that most people haven't heard of them and thus don't care, but they're not popular enough that they have a legion of fans that can drown out everything (like other big bands from their time that are still around). So people can get their moral superiority feel good brain chemicals from letting everyone know they're not a bad person like Jesse and all Brand New fans, without having to worry about a million fans screaming at them.
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u/Rymaa 1d ago
So we can continue to bash a guy that has apologized for his past, and has changed, or we can go after people that are real problems and still living taking advantage of women.
The hate on Jesse should be over. Lets focus our energy on real targets.
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u/Alone-Record-5423 1d ago
Yeah when are we going after Anthony from RHCP? Guy brags about sleeping with underage fans in his book and how he wrote the song Catholic school girls rule where are the pitch forks and torches? Good charlotte playing fests this summer didn’t the singer date Hillary duff before she was of age? Heard rumors for years about Pete wentz from fall out boy being shady with underage girls didn’t he date Ashley Simpson before she was of age? No pitch forks no torches for them. Both guitar players of NFG Steve gets caught sexting underage girls they kick him out but still sing all the lyrics they wrote live Chad groomed the girl from paramore no backlash. John Lennon beat his wife even sings about it denied his kid was his for years. Everyone still loves him and the Beatles. Led Zeppelin liked under age girls. Steven Tyler got custody of an underage girl so he could bring her on tour list goes on and on I’m not defending what Jesse did in his younger years think he was a shitbag back then honestly but he seems to have changed. All I’m saying is that if other people can go see Marilyn Manson on tour whos also on trial right now people can go see brand new
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u/xxjunecleaverxx 1d ago
Hard to imagine that this girl has complex PTSD because of what she alleges Jesse Lacey did...complex PTSD that would be solved if he paid her restitution?
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u/alextastic 1d ago
Summary of all this: Creepy guy does creepy stuff during his creepiest era. Despite everything since then, still not forgiven for being a creep.
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u/LearnTheirLetters 1d ago
She sure waited for an opportune moment, if true. Why didn't she come forth this entire time since the first girl did?
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u/Tylerw12121 1d ago
I did think this was interesting because she was super upfront about being good friends with one of the original women that came forward.
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u/4ph3x2w1n 1d ago
I don’t know but she could have done it 1 week ago, maybe it would have made getting tickets just a little bit easier for me yesterday!
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u/ilikebutts42069 1d ago
No doubt it is ugly and gross. It's all disappointing. I can't imagine being in the same room for longer than I need to with teenagers. There's not much to relate to. Just weird overall.
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u/DoNotEverListenToMe 17h ago
I dont know how Steven Tyler and pretty much every hair rock band for much worse shit get a free pass but Jesse who was also young during the time, admitted to his wrong, got help before it was known, stepped away, lost his son just gets hung like he was raping people.
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u/PawelW007 1d ago
People won’t stop sinking their teeth into Lacey until he dies. Somehow he’s become this supervillain when there’s basically half the scene who have been outed.
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u/anxifer 1d ago
I sure hope no one ever gets a chance to grow, sincerely apologize, and move from their wrongdoings.
Anyways, gonna go listen to Cardi B, Kanye, Chris Brown, and any other mainstream "artist" who surely doesn't have a plethora of disgusting accusations and/or documented CHARGES against them.
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u/Apprehensive-Owl8076 1d ago
This allegation coincidentally comes out at the same time Brand New decides to make a comeback. I'm calling bullshit on this one.
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u/slowbaja 1d ago
Me: reads new Jesse Lacey allegation
Also me: And so three cheers for my morose and grieving pals......
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u/throwinken 1d ago edited 1d ago
Every adult in this story should be launched into the moon. The parents, ALL the band members, the manager, etc.
It's wild to see how many people fall for the geek fallacies. Somehow it's worse to ostracize this guy than it is to prey on teen girls. What a world we live in.
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u/fkullsucked666 1d ago
oh goodie, more “new allegations” that coincide with the bands return. who gives a fuck at this point. if it wasn’t reported to the police and in the courts, i no longer give a fuck. 1 gal getting manipulated and having her feelings hurt has happened 10’s of millions of times throughout the music industry. it shouldn’t cancel the fucking band.
IF HE IS CRIMINALLY CHARGED WITH ANY TYPE OF SEXUAL CRIME, THAT IS DIFFERENT. don’t say im enabling creeps, because is absolutely NOT my position. the girl more than likely got what she wanted out of the ordeal at the time, and now feels like a victim when its convenient and wants to feel like she has some level of power. move along folks. either buy the tickets or fucking don’t. if lacey is a creep, then lament him publicly and go on about your day. nobody thinks positively about him regardless of your shitty hollier-than-thou stance on creepy dudes being creeps. go protest the fucking show if you’re that committed to stopping him
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u/brandnewchemical 1d ago
The bigger story here is the hyperventilating neck vein types that are frothing at the mouth for a “we did it, Reddit” moment.
Seeing these people write up their garbage, and share complete nothingburger articles in hopes of getting people to pull out their pitchforks is crazy.
What’s the reasoning?
Is it projection? What are they hiding? We all know how real projection is, one look at politics makes that abundantly clear.
Is it because he put out a statement about being a womaniser and sex addict and sought redemption? Tried to better himself?
Is THAT what put a target on his back for these people? The fact that he didn’t just ignore it?
Was it a case of feeding the Ibis? Pretty much nobody even acknowledges claims when people accuse them of anything in the public sphere.
But he did, he responded and fed the Ibis - is that why these people have latched onto him like this?
It’s wild to see and would be such an interesting thing to research.
Anyway, full steam ahead with the band - I can’t wait for the new album, would absolutely see them if they came to my country and whether this particular subsection of projectionists or whatever like it or not, the band and Jesse with it, are back.
It’s time for them to find someone else to troll, but I wonder if they even could because he fed the Ibis.
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u/JulPollitt 1d ago
So this is a different girl than last time?