23M Go to town

30

u/Sassy_magoo 1d ago

Muscle tone of a newborn baby

-9

u/DDuriE 1d ago

I have never worked out in my life since I was a newborn baby so makes sense haha

22

u/IndependentGene382 1d ago

It would be more accurate if you replaced “I have” with “things”.

0

u/Old_Comfort_6866 1d ago

Soo good 🤣

-4

u/DDuriE 1d ago

good one.

1

u/Lala0dte 1d ago

Skinny fat

0

u/GenPandaRojo 1d ago

Gooner fit

0

u/No-Damage6935 1d ago

You literally have a picture wearing a shirt from a gym.

-4

u/DDuriE 1d ago

not mine

3

u/No-Damage6935 1d ago

21

u/writeandgobroke 1d ago

You look like the genie that pops out of an unused condom wrapper.

3

u/UltimateFatbear2006 1d ago

That’s actually insane 💀

15

u/wombats_in_the_attic 1d ago

I just know you live to hear white people say “nah you’re different, you’re one of the good ones”

3

u/Ding-dong-man 1d ago

2

u/DDuriE 1d ago

Is it worth living in this world without the validation of our masters?

1

u/Lettuce_Farmer 23h ago

He looks like he eats paninis just to fit in.

11

u/detox02 1d ago

You can tell you beat your meat to J.C. Penney catalogs

3

u/DDuriE 1d ago

Facts On the daily

10

u/rootntootn2gunshootn 1d ago

Damn it's the generic 'black' dude in every Everest College commercial!

2

u/DDuriE 1d ago

😊👋

8

u/DCRBftw 1d ago

What was more lonely for you... prom night or Father's day?

1

u/DDuriE 1d ago

Both :(

7

u/Helpful_Tea_6951 1d ago

Your future is as empty as your apartment.

2

u/DDuriE 1d ago

ouch damn I just moved here thoo

8

u/faucetpants 1d ago

Roast me, rate me, and looking max? We didn't need 13 pictures of a little bitch seeking validation from strangers.

4

u/Invisible2Seen1 1d ago

If only you could trade in some chin for some muscles.

4

u/Clammy_Idiom 1d ago

It took you 45 minutes and 5 tries to write those notes.

3

u/IndependenceMean8774 1d ago

Asscrack Panther.

3

u/Old_Comfort_6866 1d ago

You're a special kind of stupid when you need 2 signs

3

u/DesertWanderlust 1d ago

$10 you auditioned for Miles Morales at a community theater at some point and own a full-size Spiderman costume.

2

u/Flaky-You9517 1d ago

Go to Provincetown?!

2

u/myemuisablackbelt 1d ago

You look like you want nothing more than a drink from Bill Cosby

2

u/tautjes 1d ago

That chin is almost like a slide

4

u/Insomniac50 1d ago

It is a slide for semen.

2

u/Present-Mirror-7669 1d ago

A five year old would be embarrassed if their handwriting looked like yours.

1

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1

u/RoastMaster47143 1d ago

How much shoe polish do they have to use to make you look like you still have hair?

0

u/DDuriE 1d ago

Exactly 0. I have never liked the paint thing after a haircut but each their own

1

u/UnhappyProfessor7658 1d ago

Your face is locked in "sniffing my own fart" expression permanently

1

u/DarthRamious 1d ago

That headline would work better in the WeHo Bottoms chat.

1

u/Meebopunks 1d ago

You make Elton John look like the manliest guy on earth

1

u/NewbOwner8585 1d ago

can’t believe you still haven’t sniffed your dad out with that flotation device of a nose.

1

u/Alive_Charity_2696 1d ago

Looks confused by the pieces of paper with scribbling someone told him to hold

1

u/benjiross1 1d ago

You look like a nice guy with no trilby

1

u/SeaAttitude2832 1d ago

Habsburg bruh

1

u/GenPandaRojo 1d ago

Yeah, I would've stayed away too. You look like you eat your chicken tendies raw

1

u/Master_Reveal_8027 1d ago

You look like your name is Dave and you specialize in fat white chicks

1

u/Weekly_Talk3907 1d ago

Pee Dirty

1

u/Mean_Plantain_7841 1d ago

My guy built like a woman transitioning into a man

1

u/Mean_Plantain_7841 1d ago

Is that come in your nose

1

u/JuniorBat2642 1d ago

At least you brush that picket fence you call teeth, now go to town and get some glass cleaner.

1

u/IllNefariousness4309 1d ago

You look like a gay George Floyd

1

u/Proper-Tip-8240 1d ago

This creep says “may I” before eats ass with a bib.

1

u/rastafarihippy 1d ago

The most uncut black man I've seen

1

u/rastafarihippy 1d ago

You got some white jeans lol

1

u/Mymarathon 1d ago

Here we have a Somali Pirate that only raids Ice Cream floats

1

u/patmcc85 1d ago

Temu juju smith schuster

1

u/Bibfor_tuna 1d ago

not fat but still have titties 😭

1

u/RelevantStrangers 1d ago

Well your handwriting is awful

1

u/duabrs 1d ago

This guy skips leg day.

1

u/AvenuesFred 1d ago

That’s what you say to all the guys

1

u/Gumsho88 1d ago

He’s the guy white people use so that they can claim they have a black friend, but they never call him to go anywhere.

1

u/Rickyspanish6666 1d ago

Temu aljimang sterling

1

u/Individual_Remote_38 1d ago

If kendrick lamar and kid cudi had a autistic baby.

1

u/WordSlayerSayer 1d ago edited 1d ago

You look like you're trying to find an Asian stripper with radioactive crabs to bite you, and turn you into Miles Morales...

1

u/D-Generation92 1d ago

You do Kendrick Lamar impersonations in your hometown of Cairo

1

u/No-Froyo-51 1d ago

Small ass bottle, big ass forehead

1

u/it_is_me_123 1d ago

those are the ugliest sunglasses I've ever seen. It's like you woke up and asked yourself "what can I wear to make everyone instantly lose respect for me?". Mission accomplished

1

u/DDuriE 1d ago

Not the spiderman glasses noooo

1

u/Previous_Struggle118 1d ago

Hairline looking like a back slash /

1

u/malarkeyBS 1d ago

Are you trying to figure out which one is spelled correctly?

1

u/malarkeyBS 1d ago

Ypu look like you tell girls will smith is ypur illegitemate dad to get laid

1

u/Organic-Low-2992 1d ago

13 pictures? You know only women are allowed more than 3. Uh, wait a minute...

1

u/blah-time 1d ago

I cat unsee that asscrack of fat on your chest that you're showing off when you attempt to flex.

1

u/LengthPhysical8861 1d ago

You're proof Urkel fucked Laura

1

u/LengthPhysical8861 1d ago

You got the pecs of Elliot Page

1

u/Florida-Legal 1d ago

Has been in the closet since R Kelly made the song

1

u/GS1969 1d ago

Urkel's less successful cousin Jamal who is rapidly sliding into a fentanyl vape addiction.

1

u/Lettuce_Farmer 23h ago

That's what you say to every guy behind the Wendy's dumpster.

1

u/Far-Paleontologist49 22h ago

If Miles Morales shot webs exclusively into a bath towel

1

u/imacabooseman 20h ago

Urkel, is that you?

1

u/Select_Total_257 19h ago

What’re you trying to flex, Tubby?

1

u/BuffaloAgreeable372 17h ago

Oh you’re back.

I see you’ve taken some pictures with varying facial expressions this time.

How long did that take?

1

u/SpellDangerous2280 17h ago

Why did you make a stupid face in every picture? One silly pic is fine kid

1

u/Squirrelpack 16h ago

Which town? The one your dad never came back from or the one your mom left you in before pimping herself out on Figueroa? The one you’re currently housed in where your caretakers give you gold stars when you have a day without pooping yourself? Is Spider-Man your favorite because your parents lied about dying in a plane crash to avoid having to see who you grow up to become?

1

u/LilRed2023 14h ago

In 2025 all I can think of is Did I Dooooooooo That

1

u/ReadingOutrageous 14h ago

Hootie and the Blowjobs

1

u/Double_Yam3010 12h ago

Congratulations. You’ve been voted the whitest guy on the internet.

1

u/-Hero-For-Hire- 12h ago

Why would he do that???! That's not progress lad

1

u/[deleted] 11h ago

Gimme your grandma address, I'll beat her the fuck up cuz she didn't teached your hoe of a mother to get up and swallow, so now, bitch farted an abomination that's your brokeass gas station tee wearing mf ruining life for everybody.

1

u/Dietzy42 11h ago

Hairline fades away with each photo…

1

u/SeveNVapoR 7h ago

Why does it look like you're nose is weighing down your attempt to smile

1

u/Natural-Ad-4084 7h ago

Body made out of flubber but DSLs keep him in high demand on Grindr.

1

u/madethisforroasting 6h ago

I know there’s blasian… but you’ve gotta be blindian

1

u/y0m4m4l0v3s1t 5h ago

He uses his mom’s contouring makeup to draw on abs before he takes dick pics.

1

u/Soft_Yak_7125 5h ago

Why is there a towel on your door handle

1

u/the_brazilianaire 4h ago

Spider-Man?? I’m sensing more Batman with those brows. BAM POW PLUCK!

1

u/RahimAK47 3h ago

Fat

1

u/Typical-Bill1098 1h ago

Pretty sure I’ve seen your face on a #FlyHigh T-Shirt. Nevermind, they all look the same.

1

u/Prize_Bag7346 1h ago

Do not come to my town

1

u/Easy-Chemistry5464 46m ago

Your dad was there and some how you still ended up on the Internet posting pictures of yourself .

1

u/Weekly_Talk3907 17m ago

You’re the Reading Rainbow dude, except for the reading part.

1

u/Dynamiqai 14m ago

You look like you came here so you'd have an excuse to spazz & quit "Soko Gym". Nice try fatso 👀

1

u/Freezerpuck23 1d ago

Your head is like a beat up boot. The difference is the boot was useful

You are about to leave Redlib