r/RoastMe • u/Legitimate-Isopod-45 • 2d ago

Hit me where it hurts

Post image
19 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

142 comments sorted by

49

u/Flaky-You9517 1d ago

Hit you in the gaped anus?!

11

u/Comfortable_Owl_5590 1d ago

No, right in the cocksucker.

17

u/WooandTJsLoveChild 1d ago

3

u/m_pyle812 6h ago

Mother fucker I can hear this in my head now lmao

2

u/OkMobile5574 1d ago

Its a 3 cocker!

2

u/Ceturney 1d ago

From his woman…. cause he still deep in the closet.

1

u/Legitimate-Isopod-45 1d ago

Lmao definitely not been getting dick for 14 years

1

u/OriginalIronDan 21h ago

So, you’ve been getting it for 15? Judging by your facial structure, that’s not surprising. What would be surprising would be if we could hit you where it hurts, since eunuchs have those removed, so you don’t have “where it hurts” any more.

1

u/Lord-Doobury 1d ago

You'll need a wrecking ball for that.

20

u/Sassy_magoo 1d ago

I bet the top of this picture is a seamless transition from your forehead to the wall

2

u/Legitimate-Isopod-45 1d ago

Okay this fuckin got me to laugh out loud

2

u/LengthPhysical8861 1d ago

Thats a 5-head, nigga

20

u/myemuisablackbelt 1d ago

Your hairline receded harder than the 2008 housing market.

13

u/AsparaGus2025 1d ago

Two studs in each ear, which is also the title of your sex tape

1

u/pocketprotectorinc 1m ago

Yep, a couple Prince Albert’s left behind

9

u/writeandgobroke 1d ago

Five hours and no comments is about as painful as it gets when you spent your free time squatting over small 3d printed versions of yourself.

1

u/Hour_Persimmon_5309 1d ago

I just hit your mom while you were in your basement bedroom.

6

u/Helpful_Tea_6951 1d ago

Your hairline stuck around longer than your father did. It still bailed.

1

u/Specific_Trust_3308 17h ago

This is a good one

6

u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 1d ago

Four girly earrings because he is mentally ill.

0

u/Legitimate-Isopod-45 1d ago

Spot on bipolar here lmao

1

u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 1d ago

They say it's the most over diagnosed illness around

1

u/OriginalIronDan 21h ago

And bipolar does not mean you like two dicks in your ass at the same time, so you’re not bipolar. You’re just a size queen.

6

u/detox02 1d ago

You look someone who was reincarnated as a bastardized version of Luigi mangione

6

u/Snoo_61544 1d ago

bald in 5 years

5

u/tautjes 1d ago

I hate AsapScience

1

u/BajaBeach 1d ago

Literally thought the same thing 😂

4

u/TheOmCollector 1d ago

Why you got genie ears?

1

u/Legitimate-Isopod-45 1d ago

Fuckin hilarious

4

u/LengthPhysical8861 1d ago

You look like Jojo Siwa if she was a gaytino

3

u/musketoman 1d ago

Sorry, i cant hit the missing love/massive disappointment of your fathers

3

u/DarthRamious 1d ago

Ah. So your hairline, then.

3

u/Forsaken-Arrival-983 1d ago

Nature beat us to it

2

u/Ok_Ad_3392 1d ago

I can see all the way to the back of your skull! Your coke spoon must be a shovel!

2

u/Puppy-juice 1d ago

You look like you are a 4th generation descendant of someone who was part pigeon

2

u/PilsenerAddict 1d ago

Liverpool player Van Dick

2

u/Lord-Doobury 1d ago

Virgin Van Dork.

2

u/paragonx29 1d ago

Well it would be in the balls if you had any.

2

u/LengthPhysical8861 1d ago

You look like you choreograph freak offs for Pitbull and Ricky Martin

2

u/Ornery_Tangerine7713 1d ago

You sit to pee and stand to poop

2

u/LengthPhysical8861 1d ago

You shave your chin so that it tickles Lil Nas X's balls

2

u/TheBetty321 1d ago

You look like monkey pox…

2

u/Dynamic_Dano 1d ago

If your face were to implode, but stop when your ears come together, you'd have a vagina for a face.

2

u/Legitimate-Isopod-45 1d ago

This was the best answer lmao

1

u/Dynamic_Dano 19h ago

It's the Elf ears. Pointed at the top, wide at meaty at the bottom.

2

u/LilRed2023 11h ago

I think your ego and confidence is already hurt with the balding so I’ll be nice and just say Temu has a special on wigs or hair pieces for $2.99 and up. Good luck.

3

u/Freezerpuck23 1d ago

Trump never loved you.

2

u/RoastMaster47143 1d ago

Youre ugly and your mother dresses you funny

1

u/wasteofintel 1d ago

got ‘em, definitely a mamas boy

1

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1

u/Hawmanyounohurtdeazz 1d ago

hit you in your mirror?

1

u/UnhappyProfessor7658 1d ago

Mr Smith from the matrix if he was a male Mexican babysitter

1

u/Present-Mirror-7669 1d ago

I'd hit you in the balls if you had any.

1

u/D4m0n619 1d ago

You look like you have a WNBA fantasy team

1

u/Western_Presence1928 1d ago

You're an hermaphrodite so go and fuck yourself.

1

u/Azfor 1d ago

I can see your brain from here.

1

u/Reasonable-Point-766 1d ago

Hit you where it hurts? I can’t and won’t look in your mirror.

1

u/MaterialTangerine600 1d ago

Dollar store gay Murr from Impractical Jokers.

1

u/ricksterrh 1d ago

Your bank account balance is 20.50 please deposit as soon as possible.

1

u/sublimetirade 1d ago

Right in the prolapse

1

u/RatioPuzzleheaded103 1d ago

Bruce Fillmyass

1

u/OFPurpleOdyssey 1d ago

Jizzy Fallon.

1

u/nolerama 1d ago

Ricky from My So Called Life grew up

1

u/WritingCharacter4768 1d ago

It's like AI isn't even trying any more

1

u/Space_Time_Ninja 1d ago

Jimmy Falloff

1

u/Zoff811 1d ago

Well that depends, what do you identify as? That determines if I beat that ass or beat your ass??!!!

2

u/Legitimate-Isopod-45 1d ago

I’m a gay man

1

u/Zoff811 1d ago edited 19h ago

Great then you definitely know what's cummin next!!

1

u/Basic_Scale6330 1d ago

My mom bought me this sweat shirt 

If a candian geese was a person 

1

u/Meebopunks 1d ago

Hit you in your vagina?

1

u/BicycleAshamed9295 1d ago

Shave your head.. you gay looking turtle

1

u/RoastBurns 1d ago

What’s with the stubble? Doesn’t match your mascara and earrings

1

u/Cheese_Potter_77 1d ago

Hit you in your mums lactating nipple? No thanks.

1

u/Strong_Carpenter1484 1d ago

Your forehad loos like a Good place to land the airplane.

1

u/duabrs 1d ago

You want me to punch you in your vagina?

1

u/oldval 1d ago

You don't have the place where men are generally hurt when hit.

1

u/Iamjacksgoldlungs 1d ago

Dollar tree Andrew Tate

1

u/Puzzled-View-3105 1d ago

Do you practice the gay face?  Or is it natural?

1

u/I_shit_you_nah 1d ago

Your face is too long it took me 10 business days to just look at it from the top your head to your chin.

1

u/BajaBeach 1d ago

Glazed eyes. Massive nostrils. Living proof that poppers are, indeed, harmful!

1

u/Previous_Ocelot5340 1d ago

Punching in your hairline then...

1

u/Superb_Advisor7885 1d ago

Is your hair afraid of your face? It seems to be running in the opposite direction

1

u/WordSlayerSayer 1d ago

I've known some flamboyant gay dudes in my life, but never any brave enough to wear four diamond studs on their dumbo flaps...

1

u/Ginger_Welsh_Cookie 1d ago

Your head will do just fine for a target. The inclination would be to go for the twig (emphasis on TWIG) and berries, but just the headshot pic had you looking like a walking chode with a shaved testicle for cranium.

1

u/MoKalb69 1d ago

Aliens aren't real David Grusch.

1

u/DodgersUSA 1d ago

Where it hurts in you’re vagina.

1

u/Comfortable-Ear-5861 1d ago

Temu Dane Cook

1

u/RecentAd1159 1d ago

Down below you mean

1

u/Finger_my_cock 1d ago

This is the guy who invented flower potting

1

u/insertjokehere12345 1d ago

Virgil Van Gay

1

u/Dense_Fail_755 1d ago

Right in the pussy

1

u/BNG1982 1d ago

Your vagina?

1

u/it_is_me_123 1d ago

male pattern baldness is irreversible

1

u/Key_Shine3895 1d ago

If you looked any gayer you’d be straight. 

1

u/IllNefariousness4309 1d ago

The pierced ears are a great idea, they really turn attention away from your hairline

1

u/Adlers41stEagle 1d ago

That’s the smile of a man who has definitely said, “Let’s just vibe tonight” right before trauma dumping over drinks and vanishing like a ghost with abandonment issues.

1

u/LastDirtyMartini 1d ago

Is ‘where it hurts’ where your balls used to be OP?

1

u/blah-time 1d ago

You look like you got your head shaved the first day at basic training and then got sent home the next day for being a complete failure. 

1

u/Awkward-Cry2625 1d ago

That wouldn’t be the groin, because you look like you have no dick

1

u/Stock-Ad-3249 1d ago

Virgin van Dyke

1

u/Aware-Story6605 1d ago

Your hairline looks like Ironman mask

1

u/Puzzle13579 23h ago

Is the world very bright when you mince out of the closet?

1

u/GS1969 20h ago

Bru, ever hear of crypto?

1

u/OneStarTherapist 20h ago

I lived next to the guy for 7 years. I had no idea he was dismembering gay men in his apartment. He was always quiet and kept to himself.

1

u/Okatbestmemes 20h ago

I would, but you look like you’d take pleasure in that.

1

u/Lettuce_Farmer 20h ago

You are like the fourth gay porn actor that wanted to get roasted today. It must be a record. Must have been a work bet.

1

u/predat3d 20h ago

Grave Matthews

1

u/DockDogMan2004 19h ago

You look like you already were in that picture.

1

u/Towndrunk13569 19h ago

Your parents aren’t proud of you

1

u/Winter_Common6056 18h ago

Right in your big fucking nose

1

u/dregjdregj 18h ago

I'm going to assume anyone with those ear rings can't be hurt or embarrassed anymore

1

u/BirdShield 17h ago

Where it hurts? It’s receded pretty far back.

1

u/One_Highlight_7051 16h ago

I was gon make a joke about hitting you in the nuts but you look like a trans man.

1

u/TheMerchantOfVenom 15h ago

Ok, we’ll take away your food stamps…and your Medicaid

1

u/209_Dad 13h ago

In the balls?

1

u/Squirrelpack 13h ago

Your hairline looks like it’s trying to escape your incredibly putrid coffee breath.

1

u/DrQuack32 http://redd.it/5vvq16 11h ago

Why are you on the internet and not cleaning the pool Diego?

1

u/FarSeaworthiness6876 11h ago

now that's a job for all the guys you've been hitting up on grindr

1

u/thiccmaniac 10h ago

Tesco Value Bruce Willis

1

u/Queasy-Position66 8h ago

You’re so lame you only generated 25 comments in 2 days when you posted on r/roastme

1

u/TerribleLeg4777 8h ago

You look like the gay friend that girls have that loves attention, gossip, and saying mean things about people.

1

u/TerribleLeg4777 8h ago

You look like you greet other gay dudes by saying "haaay girlies"

1

u/TerribleLeg4777 8h ago

Hairline saying Vageta, everything else says Spock on cocks 🖖

1

u/CucumberOdd7221 7h ago

jesus christ what did you do to your fore head you look like adam from the bee movie

1

u/Milomilz 7h ago

Your hairline isn’t receding, it’s your hair retreating from that ugly mug

1

u/bosshosshog 6h ago

Your nostrils are bigger than my house

1

u/Natural-Ad-4084 5h ago

I’d punch your pride flag

1

u/Unlucky-Welcome456 4h ago

it's the sweet mammy

1

u/Dry-Force7127 3h ago

Think the good lord has already done that ...

1

u/madethisforroasting 3h ago

Looks like the camera flash scared your hairline

1

u/fishin4au 1h ago

Based on you just scream.. I'm the gay guy ... I don't think it hurt there anymore.

1

u/Acceptable-Baby-3968 51m ago

I would have posted days ago but it took me forever to scroll past that forehead

1

u/Sufficient_Stop8381 26m ago

I tried and couldn’t locate them