Casual
Stupidest question (about Scotland)you’ve ever been asked?
I’ve lived in the US for over 10 years and been asked some daft questions.
Yesterday the uber driver asked where I was from. When I said Scotland they were quiet for a couple of minutes then asked “Did you have to learn English when you moved to here?”.
Also had someone years ago ask me where I was from then accused me of making up the country as they had never heard of Scotland.
Anyway, just thought I’d ask ask while I remembered.
A man from Texas once asked me "y'know that thing yawl wear?" this was a clumsy reference to the kilt of course, "What do the tassles mean?" This stumped me - what does that mean? He clarified "I've seen the crotch thing with two tassles, sometimes three. Ain't never seen just one. Is that like a rank system or something?" Still quite bemused, I told him they represented the number of cows the man owned, as this was a traditional status symbol in the Highlands. No one ever got one cow, as you needed a breeding pair. He seemed really satisfied. I wasn't even wearing a kilt...
Tassles used to be functional, to close a sporran. Now they're just decorative - or at least I've never seen functional tassles on a dress sporran. The number of tassles are just a feature of that particular design.
Legend has it when all clans unite the tassels the great mc tassalor will decend from the Highlands to smite the English with fireballs from his eyes and lightning bolts from his arse.
You jest, but I was in a bar in Norway chatting to some lovely folks, one mentioned that I was awful friendly for an English person, my reply was immediately " that's because I'm not English, I'm Scottish"😉 that person sat quietly whilst the rest of is chatted then chimed in with " Do you keep your Haggis in pens like chicken or do you shoot them like ducks"?
I also once convinced an American that the three big pipes running down the hillside into Fort William were for hot water, cold water, and porridge. Yep, porridge is such a basic part of Scottish life that we literally have it piped directly into houses. It's almost a shame really, that you can tell them absolutely anything and they'll believe it with big wide eyes...
My mum and I were on a road trip in the US and we stopped at a drive thru off the motorway in Texas. The lad at the window asked where we were from. We said Scotland, and he gave us a funny look and said 'yall don't look African' I was a wee bit shocked but just said 'not all of us do brother'
Not about Scotland but a stupid question from an American at work in Scotland. We're standing at the counter in the in-house Starbucks on Monday morning and he's talking about a service at his Church on Sunday. he turned to me and said, 'what Church do you go to?' to which I replied, 'sorry, I'm not religious and don't go to church', I watched the bewilderment spread across his face and then, wide eyed with an air of incredulity tinged with fear, he blurted out, 'wow, are you a communist?' Cultural chasms are easily fallen into 😂
I worked in tourism for around a decade until late 2023, and the 2 questions that, hands down, best the rest were:
"What time does the one o'clock gun go off?"
"Why do some pedestrian crossings have a voice recording telling you when the traffic has stopped?" (I explained it's so blind people know that the traffic's stopped). The woman exclaimed that this was crazy, and that in her country "we don't let blind people drive!"
I don't work in tourism but have also been asked "what time is the one o'clock gun" and then got the follow-up question "where do the shells land?". Tickled me no end to think of folks in Leith taking shelter at one o'clock everyday, and that this person had never considered the possibility that it shoots blanks.
I was visiting Edinburgh one day, maybe 1992, when the gun fired early, causing panic in Princes Street as people thought they were late returning to work. Then it fired again, and again. Many sighs of relief as we remembered it was the Queen's jubilee.
Not just forruners I’m afraid - my uncle was a welder at what is now Ferguson Marine in Port Glasgow. Right beside it is Newark Castle, which is a popular spot for wedding photographers, but obvs have to avoid getting any of the shipyard in the background…and yes, his workmate did opine one day : “bit daft building that nice castle right beside a shipyard”
I worked for an American Multi National for most of my career and I met all sorts of Americans many of them highly educated, intelligent, rational people. I also met the 'others' and in reality, although all nationalities had their various problem children, the American ones unfailingly advertised their ignorance much more loudly so stood out.
This is very possible. I remember hearing an American lady calling into a morning radio show to complain that the deer crossing signs were posted along the busy highway. She thought that was a stupid place to tell the deer to cross and that they should move the deer crossing signs to a less busy stretch of the highway to make it safer for the deer.
Similar signs in Australia for kangaroos.
The signs that really confuse me are the "Koala Cross Here" signs.
Why are they always cross?
I get the odd koala in my backyard.
They're usually stoned out of their tiny minds,
You get that on a diet of gum leaves and eucalyptus oil.
When I tell people I'm from one of the Scottish islands, I've been asked (or accused) of being inbred. Also the usual nonsense about whether we had electricity growing up, how people get off the island, whether there are schools there and so on.
I get asked if there are any police over there strangely. A lot of people ask me where I come from because I have a decent cold tolerance (Used to work with many Indian people so I was an alien to them) and they often have a eureka moment when I show them
Went on a trip to New York some years ago, a taxi driver asked if we played a lot of golf and kept chickens in the yard, he also seemed genuinely shocked that we’d arrived by plane.
Driving through the Highlands, I got asked by an American. Why's that part of the mountain a different colour from the other part? Answer, it was the sunshine. Parts of the mountain was in the shade from the clouds.
Many years ago I was on holiday in California with my mum and sister and we were waiting for a bus. Got chatting to a local lady who informed us of her great nephew Andrew who also lives in Scotland. She asked if I knew him. I told that yes I do indeed know her nephew Andy, he said to look out for his auntie and he actually owes me a fiver!
As we get on the bus my mum's only words were "you spend too much time with your father!"
Quite right. For me I get a wee bit sad when I hike past abandoned villages and bothies, wondering about the lives of the folks that lived there, and of course I get straight up raging every time I see this prick lording over everything.
You’re conflating the stereotype of the GlenCoe massacre being planned and committed by Campbells with the Highland clearances. The clearances were mainly planned by Lowland elites and enforced by Lowlanders, many Highland chieftains took advantage of the situation for economic gain. Regarding the GlenCoe massacre that was also planned by Lowlanders.
Here’s a quote from a chief enforcer and planner of the clearances, James Loch who was an Edinburgh Lowlander
Loch on Gaelic language and
culture:
“l have heard from speeches
delivered by Mr Loch at public dinners among his own party, “that he would never be satisfied until the Gaelic language and the Gaelic people would be extirpated root and branch from the Sutherland estate; yes, from the Highlands of Scotland.”
Cited by Donald MacLeod in his account of the Clearances (Gloomy Memories, 1841)
Here’s a great documentary on the GlenCoe massacre, which shows it was primarily planned in Edinburgh by Lowland elites.
EDIT: Being downvoted but this sorta stuff is even reflected within Highland Gaelic poetry, such as Oran do na ciobairean Gallda (‘Song to the Lowland shepherds’) by Ailean Dall in 1798
Basically comments about how terrible the Lowlanders have been since coming into the lands and working the sheep farms. Destroying the traditional Gaelic culture and having absolutely zero respect for the people.
Tbf if you live in the Highlands and islands it probably would still be a sore point. I don't think they've ever really recovered and it's plain to see. Different in the central belt.
Can confirm there is still sadness linked with it. An australian asking it does make a little funny as many highland scots went to NZ and Aus and then were part of clearing indigeous people there.
An America student who studied with me for a term was blown away by the fact we had actually roads and didn't drive everywhere on tiny, windy country roads. She asked me if the dual carriageways were hard for us to adjust to.
I’ve lived in Canada for 2 decades and it’s eye opening how many people genuinely don’t know Scotland is even a country. I’ve always explained in good humour. I think the whole UK thing throws people off more than we realise.
Funny point/story on that. Same as buddy above, born in Scotland and immigrated to Canada and now live in Quebec. Frequently I'm asked where do I come from cause they can tell by how I roll my r's I ain't native. In Quebcois Nova Scotia is Nouvelle-Écosse, or new Scotland and Scotland is just Écosse, but nobody ever says Nouvelle-Écosse, just Écosse for short since Scotland doesn't come up all that often, so it's always a funny moment of "non, non pas Nouvelle-Écosse, Écosse" followed by them confirming "Écosse Écosse?" and then an ahhh or oohhh as the realization sinks in, usually followed by a how the fuck did you end up here lol
I told a lady in Louisiana that I was from Scotland and she grinned and said, 'well, I know where that is, it's up in Canada somewhere' and she pointed in the direction of what I assumed was Canada but later, as we Ubered home, realised she'd been pointing directly at where the sun was now setting. 😂
In all fairness, it is a pretty confusing setup being a country within a country, where they're never individually recognised internationally except for Sporting Events
It really does confuse people a lot. I'm from England originally, and was asked in the US multiple times if I needed a visa to live and work in Scotland. To be fair, I think I've been asked that same question in other European countries at least once too.
When I studied abroad I often had to explain the geopolitics of “I’m Scottish, no I don’t identify as British, yes I technically am, it’s a whole thing” lol
The UK thing is kinda confusing. I was thinking about that the other day. We're taught that the UK is a country, so Scotland is a country within a country? But Great Britain is not a country, right? Finding the right "country" on a drop down menu can be annoying.
Great Britain is the island that England, Scotland, and Wales are on.
The United Kingdom also has Northern Ireland, which is a totally different country from the Republic of Ireland, which are both on Ireland, which you might also call Eire depending on which set of terrorists you don't want blowing up your car.
And then there's all this weird shit like The Channel Islands and The Isle of Man, which are not actually part of the United Kingdom but which the UK is still somewhat responsible for.
There's various odds and sods of islands that are called British Overseas Territories, that *are* strictly speaking under British rule but are not actually part of the UK at all, except when they are, but mostly they aren't, and they might use GBP or EUR, except when they don't, and frankly it's all a bit of a mess.
We do think it's hilarious when the USians make a big deal of "Independence Day", because frankly by now about 60-odd countries have become independent from the UK which means there's an Independence Day for some country somewhere on average every five and a half days, so they're just not that special.
I had a conversation with an American recently about the UK and when I explained it’s made up of countries and not states (as they see them) he just refused it. Completely, utterly refused to believe that the UK is made up of separate countries and not states. I explained I lived there, it didn’t matter.
The Scottish Tourist Board used to issue a list every year of the stupidest questions people had asked them that year. I think they stopped it in the internet age as it would be too easy to get back to Americans!
The one that sticks in my mind was the guy who walked into the information centre on the top of Waverley Market and asked "Is that the same moon as the one we have back in the States?"
Worked as a contractor at Edinburgh Castle once. Tourists (usually American) would routinely ask if Fife was Ireland.
Another American was once upset because the room where James VI was supposedly born was closed. I asked why his family were so upset and he said they wanted to see it cos his “Grandmother was there when King James VI was born”. He was born in the 1500s.
Then the usual stuff, about Americans with English names telling me about their clan. Had one guy even say to me “I’m probably more Scotch than you.”
Oh lord. I'm an American, but I have a wonderfully stupid question to add to the pile.
I visited Scotland for the first time, for work, in 2014. After returning home to California, I was discussing the trip with a group of my coworkers when our office intern suddenly asked, "So, like, did you have to wear the kilt in Edinburgh? Or do they only require that in the highlands?"
I, and several of my coworkers, sat there in silence for a few moments while we tried to figure out whether she was serious. She was. Turns out, she thought the kilt in Scotland was like the keffiyeh in the middle east, and that it was just something that men were required to wear because "it's their culture".
My coworker, not wanting to miss the opportunity, informed her that Americans are handed a standard-issue American-flag print kilt at the airports passport control desk when we enter the country, but we're only required to wear it when entering government owned buildings. She might have believed it if the rest of us hadn't been laughing so hard.
I wound up an American coworker who had recently moved to Scotland. She asked questions about everything. She didn’t believe me about the tv license so checked it with someone else. After that she believed anything I said.
This culminated in her carrying her microwave to the police station to get it “licensed”. The police officer at the desk told her the law had recently changed so it was no longer necessary. She said they were awfully nice.
Not a question, but was on an airplane, (American) woman sitting next to me asked me where I was from and she said to me "Oooh, speak Scottish for me", to which I replied "I am". I then got out a book, she leaned over to have a look at it and said "oh, that's really good, you are reading in English".
A surprisingly large amount of Australians I’ve met whilst living here for the past 5 years don’t know the difference between Scotland and Ireland. On multiple occasions I’ve had something along the lines of “oh you Guinness drinking wee leprechaun” (in a terrible Irish accent) when you say you’re from Scotland, and when you correct them comes “isn’t it the same place?”
People often find the American education system scarily poor when it comes to learning about other countries, but the Australians are not far behind them on the ‘worryingly isolated and increasingly self centred ideology league’.
In America a guy asked me if we had pizza and did we speak English in Scotland and then answered his own question ‘hey of course all you Scandinavian countries speak English.’
I was in America and someone heard my voice and asked where I was from.
As soon as I said Scotland, they asked
"Do you know U2?"
My brain struggled for a second and I couldn't let the guy down, so I said "Yes, but they aren't the same now they're famous, think they are better than everyone else".
Had American flatmates at uni who asked me if my parents would be annoyed I wasn’t spending Burns Night with them, like it was Christmas or something 🥲
Answer 2 - in Nova Scotia, Canada. Solo road-trip but chatting to two bikers who were originally from Nottingham and Manchester.
American from Michigan picked up on our accents and (loudly) butted in to ask where we were from. 2 x England, 1 x Scotland. He looked it up on his phone - Google Maps. Then asked why there were no roads in Scotland (UK zoomed out - only showed motorways).
I just dead-panned it and said that's why I was over in the US and Canada - getting experience in a car driving on real roads. My horse and cart back home weren't up to much.
The guy didn't bat an eyelid - just mumbled something about how we should start building them - they make a real difference. The two bikers couldn't keep a straight face.
Then started on that we should get someone like Trump in to sort it out.... FFS!!
I'm a Geordie so I often get mistaken for Scottish abroad. When I was in the US I was asked by an American lass if I took a horse drawn cart to get to my American Airlines aeroplane.
She refused to believe me when I told her that British Airways is a thing.
Not the stupidest question asked but my wee Brother was on a train recently going over the Forth Rail bridge and an American Man said to his young Daughter "look, that's the black sea". He looked at my Brother and said isn't it? And my Brother was like... No... That's in Eastern Europe.
Moved into halls of residence in uni in England, midlands, and met a cute blonde from the opposite flat - doing the routine introductions and I told her I’m from Scotland and she genuinely asked…”oh, do they have roads up there?”
No word of a lie. I just shrugged it off and was fine and we were distant acquaintances for the rest of the uni. No issue.
3 years later she came out TOP of her class - she was studying law.
I grew up in Alaska and other Americans would ask me regularly, "Did you use the American dollar?" "Did you have to hunt for your own food?" "Is English your second language?" "Did you grow up in an Igloo?" It's the 49th state!
The level of proud ignorance was something I was happy to move away from when I came to Scotland. Here, no one has ever asked me anything that painfully stupid.
First day of University in the US I walked by two guys moving in and overheard one say "China isn't a country! It's a city in Vietnam." I stopped dead in disbelief.
Or another incident, a girl I went to school with, who I called from Germany, and she had no idea Germany was a country or where it was located and then I found out she thought Europe was a yohgurt flavour. When Americans do stupid, it's on another level.
Traveling in Tennessee I was told my English was really good. Was asked how long it took to drive to Scotland. When I asked "Where do you think Scotland is?" I was told "Somewhere near Canada".
Tae be fair thats no tae bad. For a foreigner that knows the black watch is a military unit, its fair for them to wonder if you are military for wearing it.
I have a pretty clear Scottish accent. They were from Yorkshire and asked where me where I was from, I said the south, they asked where, said I was from Dumfries and Galloway and they were super excited to meet someone from Ireland and started singing Ed Sheeran asking if I knew him…
Visted kentucky in 2016, was asked by a guy if unicorns were really our national animal and if they were real. Twice! I said they were our national animal but not real, then 2 days later he asked me again. This time I decided to tell him they were real and that we all ride them to work.
Two of my scottish friends got chatted up by an american woman in a train in New York, and she asked them if they had both just gotten out of prison because they were so pale
When I was a teenager I met an English girl who though Scotland was a separate island haha. I mean, I know teenagers can be daft, but that was special.
I was in California when I was about 13 with my family. Some attendant in a mall heard our accents and started chatting and asking questions. One was "do guys enjoy having electricity across here?"
To this day its probably the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What makes it even worse is my dad was an electrician. He just called him a daft cunt and we walked away.
I’m American and was going on holiday to Scotland. A coworker asked me if I knew how to speak “Scottish”. I informed the colossal dope everyone in Scotland knew how to speak English. When I told him we planning on going over to Ireland for a few days he wanted to know how we were going to get there. I told him we were going to swim. Apparently Ireland is near Australia. He was and is an idiot.
So, I’m not Scottish. I’m from the U.S. and live here but I have a coworker who is Scottish and obviously has the corresponding accent. Our company invited some financial people in to chat with us and I was sitting next to said coworker when one of the financial guys asks “is that a Boston accent you have?”
Went for a diner breakfast in Maryland with my daughter whilst on a road-trip. Ordered meals off the menu and flipped through the numerous over easy, coffee, sides and drinks options.
Waiter asked where we were from - obviously replied, Scotland.
'Gee, your English is really good - did you learn it over here?'
When I was 19 and an exchange student in Virginia, I went to stay with my boyfriend's parents during the holidays.
Sitting down to dinner shortly after I arrived, his father said 'so you're from Edinburgh - how far above sea level is that?'
I did not know, and said so, and added something along the lines of 'it has beaches on the edge and actual hills in the middle so it probably depends where you are'.
I have often noticed since that many Americans know the height of their town or city above sea level, and I'm fairly confident that 95% of Scots don't know theirs. I wonder why.
Not really a question but I was driving home to scotland to visit family (I live in England at the moment) I turned to my ex wife in the passenger seat just as we were about to come to the border and said “can you grab your passport out for when we get to the border so we don’t hold up the traffic behind us” she looked like she seen a ghost and said “shit I didn’t know we had to have our passports” then I said “I’m only joking there’s no border check point, just the crossover to the right side of the road” which she also believed. She’s from England btw
This didn’t happen to me it happened to one of my cousins who live in Oregon (moved there when she was 6), she’s had to explain on multiple occasions we do in fact have electricity when people ask how we go about our day to day lives without it
Met someone in the Lake District, said I did a lot of hill walking and climbing. Since I lived in Scotland they then asked....so, have you climbed Everest?
Not quite the 'Scotland' thing, but, on finding out I grew up on a Scottish Island, a colleague from the South of Enland once said 'wow, that's cool - but what did you do for food?'. I replied, 'we went to Tesco. Tell me, what did you do in Oxfordshire?'.
Been asked if we have the changing of the seasons in Scotland when in Pennsylvania before the follow up of ‘do you have many cars in Scotland?’ I said most use horses but the doctor and policeman have a car between them.
Was also mistaken for German, English and Irish (last one was in Boston who apparently consider themselves Irish but couldn’t pick out a thick Scottish accent trying to speak clear English).
We were in Memphis visiting family 15 odd years ago. My mum goes to the bank, teller asks where she's from, she goes Scotland. Teller asks "do y'all speak English over there?"
This one is really dark but in Mexico a group of teenage Americans from the rural south that I got chatting to asked what school shooting drills were like in Scotland. I said that we never done drills but they were surprised to hear that school shootings were actually pretty regular here, currently averaging around one every 29 years… and likely to extend that average after everybody was pretty willing to give up their firearms after it.
I’ve never seen such confusion as the cogs turned realising that gun control can work. Other than that they did ask a few silly questions but they honestly just seemed curious to know more about Scotland. I’d take that any day over the regular ignorance you’d expect
moved to the USA in the 00s, when I was a teen. highlights were a kid in my class telling me I spoke very good English, considering we only moved a few months ago, and a (different) guy saying "oh is that in London" when I said I was from Scotland.
Not a daft question, but I think it would have made an excellent TripAdvisor review...
I had a great conversation with a Brazilian bloke that I met in Manaus.
He'd learned English in Belfast, which made for an excellent accent! He said he'd been to Scotland & had liked it 'Apart from all the little animals with long ears that you run over on the roads 😢'.
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