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u/Icy-Cartographer8857 2d ago
This takes me back to when I was in Thailand for a couple of weeks. I was at the bar when an absolute vision of beauty walked in—like a masterpiece brought to life. She sat directly across from me, and the whole time, I kept repeating to myself, ‘Stay calm, don’t get an erection.’ But, of course, the bastard did.
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u/Who_Knows_Why_000 2d ago
At least you know for a fact that she does anal. Just tap it doggy and watch where you put your hands... 🤣
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u/knapping__stepdad 2d ago
Blowjobs n butt stuff. As a Bi Male, it's all good ..
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u/Who_Knows_Why_000 2d ago
Not my bag, but I've been told dudes give the best head, for obvious reasons. I assume that also holds true for trans women.
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u/Logical-Database4510 2d ago
I'll say this from personal experience: penis owners on average give better head from a physical perspective (ie, technique), and the best head I've ever gotten was from a penis owner as well.
That being said, imo most of the goodness in oral sex for a penis owner in my opinion as a penis having person is psychological more than technique. If you look like you're enjoying yourself and having a good time, you're like 90% of the way there lol....we're just happy someone is willing and /wants/ (or at least cares about us enough to pretend, lol...) to suck on the poor bastard most of the time 🤣
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u/ResponsibleMilk7620 2d ago
This reminds me of the movie Bad Johnson where a guys penis detaches and becomes a human being.
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u/joe102938 2d ago
That sounds like a good movie.
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u/punsanguns 2d ago
Only one person can play that role due to nominative determinism reasons
Dick van Dyke
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u/neurodiverseotter 1d ago
There's a medieval german story (roughly translates as "the nun tourney") in which a man gets tricked into hacking his penis off. It starts to develop a life of its own and goes to a convent where all the nuns start fighting over who gets to keep the D.
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u/PrimaryAverage 2d ago
I was waiting for the undertaker throwing mankind off the hell in a cell in 1998 ending
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u/DanMcMan5 1d ago
I can’t tell if you’re referring to yourself or the other person in this story lol.
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u/taylor1670 1d ago
Was expecting this to go a different direction after you mentioned Thailand.
"She sat directly across from me, and that's when I noticed her boner."
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u/vi_sucks 2d ago
Oof, that's gonna backfire on him sometime. Gonna be a real pain in the ass when it does, too.
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u/alwaysflaccid666 2d ago
Tampering with drinks is a felony. I hope it was worth it, bro.
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u/Smooth_Review2934 2d ago
Viagra fucks with the heart too.
Heck people have overdosed from spiking someone already on Viagra with Viagra
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u/xCeeTee- 1d ago
My dad died from a Viagra overdose. Mum took it really hard.
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u/Lightningtow123 1d ago
.... I'm so angry I laughed at this
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u/xCeeTee- 1d ago
I wish my dad was around to say it to, he would've been laughing for ages at that one.
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u/urbanlife78 2d ago
You know the rule, get a girl hard and you have to get her off
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u/Enigma2_ 2d ago
him
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u/urbanlife78 2d ago
You are clearly too immature to be in any physical relationship with anyone
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u/Intergalacticdespot 2d ago
Not how Viagra works. Still need some kind of stimulation. It doesn't raise the drawbridge by itself. Just makes it easier to do. Someone still has to pull the rope.
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u/ResourceOk8638 2d ago
Haha well put! This dude thinks it just makes you pitch a constant tent for 4 hours lol
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u/My_Soul_to_Squeeze 2d ago
For any friends that need to hear this: the commercials are not
pulling your legjoking when they say see a doctor if it lasts that long. It's a real medical emergency that can cause permanent damage down there.5
u/ResourceOk8638 2d ago
This is true and worth noting! I referenced 4 hours because that generally about now long the medication is effective, but no one should have a constant, unrelenting hard on for an extended period of time. That’s just not how it’s supposed to work.
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u/Jaws2020 1d ago
I can confirm this. My best friend had to get his dick drained via syringe due to coagulation in his blood. He and his GF at the time were apparently into some freaky shit. It's a funny story now, but I can only imagine how much that shit must've hurt. He never told me if he suffered any permanent damage from that incident, though.
Your blood is not meant to hang out in that area for too long. If it isn't circulating and doing its job in your body, it will turn into syrup.
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u/vermilion-chartreuse 2d ago
"I wanted to see if she would get a boner"
So you agree she is a she!
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u/Jaws2020 1d ago
You can still acknowledge the existence of trans women, be attracted to women, and still not be okay with sleeping with a woman who has a penis. Of course, it wouldn't make what this guy does any less ignorant, but it's perfectly fine to not be attracted to penis-havers. That's why pansexuality is even a thing in the first place.
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u/_ParanoidPenguin_ 2d ago
With a personality like that, I'll be supposed if he can get a girl to stick around, trans or not lol.
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u/Foreign-Suspect2862 2d ago
Even worse people gate dates constantly. Personality really isn't that important
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u/the_acient_jellycube 2d ago
or maybe just ask??? trans women are accused enough of "trying to fool straight guys" that they'll just tell you they're trans if you ask, cuz they don't wanna be seen as a manipulator. if you support this kinda behavior you're disgusting
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u/Scrivani_Arcanum 2d ago
But if she isn't trans... Major insult.
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u/anonAcc1993 2d ago
Ya, no good solution.
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u/helper-g 2d ago
I know this is a common sentiment but you are aware that this is deeply transphobic, right? Being mistaken for a trans person of the same gender as you shouldn't be an issue unless you are transphobic yourself, at least in this context.
Plenty of cis people get "transvestigated" and I sympathize with not liking that experience, I have been through it myself on account of being trans. It feels very dehumanizing because it is dehumanizing, whether you are trans or not. But this isn't necessarily the same thing as being asked if you are trans because you pass less well than other cis people.
To be clear though: trans people don't owe you anything about if they are trans or not. It's none of your business and it's not information that you are entitled to.
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u/ShemsuHor91 2d ago
I mean, if they're going to date someone, they should probably be upfront about it. Especially since some people can get violent if they find out the hard way.
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u/helper-g 1d ago
The fact that people get violent is a reason in favour of maintaining your personal privacy. Trans people, and especially trans women, have been the victims of extreme violence for decades if not hundreds of years. There are legitimate legal cases where people have been acquitted for murder because they claimed they were in a life-or-death scenario because they found out the person they were into was trans. We are not safe in this world. Expecting us to further risk ourselves is just pure entitlement.
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u/ShemsuHor91 1d ago
I'm not saying they should go and announce it to everyone and anyone. I'm just saying if you're dating a person, you should be upfront with THAT person about it and not surprise them with it when things turn sexual.
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u/Soggy-Wrongdoer-5427 1d ago
I mean true, but if you’re going on a tinder date with someone and lets say you’re a cis male, it’d be kinda weird figuring out if the person is transphobic or not first, then asking them if they’re cis or not, and all that just for a hook up.
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u/BenDover_15 1d ago
If you're flirting with someone with intent and it goes somewhere, the other party is very much owed the truth.
I can't imagine how hard and complicated it is to be in that position, but lying about it is exactly how you push people like the man in the picture away even further.
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u/helper-g 1d ago
Your language is even more transphobic. What is "the truth" here? Do you consider trans people faking who they are?
Likewise, what is "lying" here? Is it lying to not disclose you're trans? What part of that is a lie, unless you think that trans people are faking and lying by living as the gender they identify with.
I assume when you talk about "lying" and "faking" you're talking about genitals here, as that's what most people think when talking about dating a trans person. Gender affirming surgeries exist, my gamer. Trans people can have the genitals most people expect from the gender they identify as.
Finally, why should trans people be responsible for catering towards this person who is clearly mentally unstable and actively out to harm us? Why is it our job as trans people to sacrifice our safety and privacy just so people who want us dead can learn about the fact that we are someone they hate a priori? What part of that is reasonable to you?
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u/BenDover_15 1d ago
Yes. Of course you should disclose it. There's this thing called consent.
You're entitled to your bodily autonomy, absolutely. But so are others.
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u/helper-g 1d ago
I think we should specify things if we are going to continue this conversation. What part of a date with someone requires you to inform them of your trans identity? Again I'm going to assume you are talking about sex because that's the most common caveat people have. I am not in any way trying to say that someone should have sex with someone they aren't attracted to, or that if you are attracted to someone for which you don't have a genital preference you should have sex anyway as that is a violation of your consent, but this is not the same as telling someone you are trans while on a date. Again, many trans people are able to get surgeries to give them the genitals they are comfortable with, should those people have to disclose that they are trans even though they have all the parts people usually expect of the gender said trans person identifies with? Do you expect people who are infertile to disclose that before you go on a date with them? What about someone who is post-menopausal? How about people who have had injuries with scars or "missing" tissue that you can't see before you date them? Why must the expectation be that trans people out themselves for something others in similar positions aren't expected to disclose? Trans people are uniquely targeted for violence and not everyone is comfortable or in a position in which they can be open about their transness and it's godsdamn infuriating that people like you try to weaponize consent against us. You aren't being an ally to anyone by doing this. You are just making an already deeply marginalized group even more stigmatized because you're afraid that someone with a penis making your dick hard makes you gay. Get over yourself.
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u/Faded1974 2d ago
Least paranoid transphobe
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u/powerlevelhider 2d ago
"You're a transphobe for not wanting to fuck males"
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u/shayanti 2d ago
Right, let's gleefully ignore that the dude was fine drugging women because he was terrified they may be trans. Gee I wonder if that kind of behaviour has a name.
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u/AustinAuranymph 2d ago
The transphobic part is thinking trans women are out to trick you into having sex with them.
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u/Relative-Camel3123 2d ago
I farted in an elevator today and a trans woman was in it am I a transphobe too
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u/andrewsad1 2d ago
Why are you defending someone who drugged women?
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u/Relative-Camel3123 2d ago edited 2d ago
Because if this were any other platform and not everyone here were every fucking color of the autism spectrum, you people would be able to tell that this is clearly a satirical joke and not something that actually happened in the real world.
I have a vein popping out in my forehead as I type this. How the FUCK can this many people people this dense?! How are you all real people in the real world??
Jokes exist, guys. Not everything you see on the internet is real. Why do you need this explained to you?
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u/andrewsad1 2d ago
Nobody claimed it wasn't a joke, it's just not a very good one. It's like if they'd called someone a nazi for vandalizing a synagogue, and you chimed in with a "I farted in an elevator earlier and there was a Jewish person on it, am I a nazi too?"
Like, no, and nobody said you are, and whether you intended it or not, the joke downplays the severity of the crime that the person committed
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u/Relative-Camel3123 2d ago
....the severity of the fake crime that never happened, you mean?
I think you're right. I should be openly weeping for these fake women that don't exist that were hurt by this fake man who also doesn't exist.
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u/andrewsad1 2d ago
The story being fake doesn't make your joke funny
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u/Relative-Camel3123 2d ago edited 2d ago
To people like you, nothing is funny. It's seriously no wonder why seemingly everybody on Reddit suffers from some form of depression. I get it. I couldn't even imagine being this joyless and unfunny and unable to laugh at anything. I'd be depressed too.
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u/andrewsad1 2d ago
I'm not the one with a vein popping out of my head as I type this lmao
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u/Relative-Camel3123 2d ago
I'd like your explanation on why it's okay to admit to laughing at someone to their face but it's not okay to laugh at imaginary people who don't exist
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u/AlcoholicCumSock 2d ago
Viagra tastes fucking awful after the coating is gone. I can't imagine you wouldn't notice that dissolved into your drink
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u/TransLucida 2d ago
I think most of the comments are getting it wrong. He probably wanted to make sure they could get it up, once you’re on the hormones it just doesn’t 😂
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u/Hiimpatrickpatmyback 2d ago
I find it weird how straight guys can’t tell I’m pansexual and every time I see a trans woman I can tell and I’m like fuck yeah that’s my girl i’m also kind of gender fluid so maybe that helps🤷♀️
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u/MightyGreedo 1d ago
Somehow I figure that even if she DID get a boner, it still wouldn't be a deal-breaker for him.
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u/Correct-Junket-1346 1d ago
Obviously fell for that myth surrounding Viagra, it doesn't make you "hard" with no decision, it just makes sure when you do get hard it is sustained.
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u/louisa1925 1d ago
Could have gone either way. If he wasn't interesting enough. A boner isn't happening with or without viagra.
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u/Able-Candle-2125 1d ago
Are boners that obvious? I feel like I get boners all the time even in my 40s. Has everyone known l this time? Why am I not noticing boners around me every day?
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u/MaskedBunny 1d ago
You're not staring hard enough. Next time you're out make sure you stare for longer and I'm sure you'll see a lot more.
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u/daimyosx 1d ago
So hear me out not the stupidest idea since you never know now. If it's a lady no harm she is turned on but if it's a dude you get visual evidence pretty quickly. Does make you wonder though how many times this has happened to him that he feels the need to this though
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u/CosmeticBrainSurgery 1d ago
You've heard of playing gay chicken, right? It sounds to me like he's trying to invent a sort of transgender chicken game.
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u/Happy-Initiative-838 1d ago
Ok but did he want them to have a boner or not? Like would he have been happy if they did or nah?
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u/firstfantasy499 1h ago
just another cis straight man and his obsessive, paranoid, creepy, love-hate fixation on trans women
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u/justv316 2d ago
Hah the joke is transphobia and drugging women so funny
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u/helper-g 2d ago
Hehe haha let's make fun of the marginalized group hehe haha /s
I swear these people have nothing going on in their lives they simply live to make other peoples' lives worse. It costs $0 to not be a transphobic piece of shit.
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u/korbentherhino 2d ago
And that is why there's a huge spike in anti trans movement. Has nothing to do with girl sports and everything to do with trying to date hot women and not wanting a trans by accident
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u/tormentedpersonality 2d ago
Maybe he just wants to make sure her boner isn't bigger than his. Hard thing to find though when the bar is a half thumb. Whadoyado
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u/No_Exercise_7440 2d ago
As I understand, viagra will cause a clitoral response