r/StrangeAndFunny • u/lazycarebear • 1d ago
How far you can shoot? This should be an olympic sport for mothers.
6
6
5
u/GonnaGetBanneddotcom 1d ago
That baby is holding a bird while his mother squirts titty milk at the clergyman and I totally get it.
5
3
u/often_awkward 1d ago
It's a fembot!
2
u/2x4x93 1d ago
These boob's were made for squirtin...
3
u/often_awkward 1d ago
And that's just what they'll do!
And one of these days these boobs are going to squirt all over you.
2
u/Small-Skirt-1539 1d ago
Hey, with a baby you do have a lot of milk and it does come with pressure at the beginning of a feed. No robot required.
3
u/often_awkward 1d ago
It was a joke meant to test how old people are because it's a pretty specific reference. My wife nursed both of ours until they were a year old - I'm very familiar with the wonderful abilities of the postpartum breasts. 😂
3
u/Small-Skirt-1539 1d ago
Ah yes. Good old Austin Powers. I must admit I spent far more time breastfeeding than I did watching Austin Powers or even old SciFi shows, so I took it too literally.
An aside.
Now most of the Austin Powers scenes were based on Bond movies. I can't remember 007 with a fembot though.3
u/often_awkward 1d ago
This is what I was thinking of. Now of course I'm thinking about postpartum boobs and the good old days when I didn't know what it was like to have teenage children. 😂
3
u/Small-Skirt-1539 1d ago
When they are babies they can't walk, but they want to.
When they're teenagers they can walk but they don't want to. (Not any great distance, anyway.)3
u/often_awkward 1d ago
I always heard it put as...
When we become parents we spend what seems like a lifetime but is, in reality, a blink trying to get them to walk and talk and then the rest of our lives trying to get them to sit down and shut up.
My kids both walked before they were nine months old. Neither one of them really crawled. That's not a brag. That's not a great thing. I remember parents getting kind of jealous that my kids were already walking. Nooooo they still had the brain of most children that are just scooting around and not really mobile but now mine can walk. I distinctly remember thinking I could never ever let my children out of my sight and feeling like that was the rest of my life and now they ride their bikes to school and they're mostly independent and really fun to be around.
I think I forgot to take my ADHD meds or something but anyway hope you were amused. Like your username but my brain made it short skirt and now I'm wondering if you also have a Long jacket as well as fingernails that shine like justice and eyes that cut like cigarettes...
ADHD brains are weird places and I made two of them because it turned out my wife was also ADHD and we were both late diagnosed but now they're all four of us are medicated we get along famously especially when we all remember to take our meds. 🤣
1
u/Small-Skirt-1539 17h ago
When we become parents we spend what seems like a lifetime but is, in reality, a blink trying to get them to walk and talk and then the rest of our lives trying to get them to sit down and shut up.
Sounds right.
That's not a brag. That's not a great thing.
I hear you! My eldest was an early walker too. He was dynamite! At ten months he could get a chair to open the front door, go a few doors down to his favourite friend's place, and swallow with a pebble from their garden. You don't get a second to breathe, let alone go to the toilet.
Like your username but my brain made it short skirt
Wait, my user name is "small skirt"? When did that happen? I'm sure it was “short skirt”...
It's the Mandela effect or I've been hacked or it's past my bed time.
Long jacket as well as fingernails that shine like justice and eyes that cut like cigarettes...
No, but you are giving me cool ideas.
ADHD brains are weird places and I made two of them because it turned out my wife was also ADHD and we were both late diagnosed but now they're all four of us are medicated we get along famously especially when we all remember to take our meds.
I'm late diagnosed too. Wouldn't life be boring without us ADHD people?
2
u/often_awkward 13h ago
Incredibly beautiful points! I do agree that we adhs are the most fun and I was quoting song lyrics from "short skirt, Long jacket" by Cake
3
3
3
u/CatsEatGrass 1d ago
I used to pump a Big Gulp a day, and would still squirt out several ounces in the shower, at least 2-3 feet, but it would have been much farther without the shower walls.
2
2
2
2
u/Tacos_and_Tulips 1d ago
This is awesome! It should be hung in every women's restroom! Lol
2
u/Small-Skirt-1539 1d ago
No. Breastfeeding does not belong in the toilets.
3
u/Tacos_and_Tulips 1d ago
Lol! I beg to differ! I think it would be most awesome right above the changing station! This way, any mom who is having a hard day can get one good laugh in.
2
2
u/Skweedlyspootch 1d ago
Before I got my period my let down could shoot over an arms length 😆 now it just rainbows over my baby’s head. She’ll triggered the letdown and play in the stream 🥲✨🌈
2
2
2
2
u/CriticismFun6782 1d ago
St. Bernard: "Ma'am you cannot breastfeed in public..." Mary: "F*** off perv"
2
1
18
u/mdCoCoMo 1d ago
I already told you, it was an immaculate conception. And now stop bothering me.