r/Tinder 1d ago

Why even match

Post image
2.3k Upvotes

119 comments sorted by

3.1k

u/I-hate-the-pats 1d ago

“Only one way to find out”

977

u/Darkshino4 1d ago

I hate that this is so far down. Throw the hail mary. “Normally I’m not a chemist but I can be for one night.”

98

u/TheeAJPowell 16h ago

For real. There’s been a few times that I’ve just “pulled the pin” and thrown a live grenade in when it seems like the conversation’s dying. Doesn’t always work, but it’s proven to be worth a go 🤷🏻‍♂️

30

u/FriedTreeSap 10h ago

Yah, I’ve gotten a few dates by sending a Hail Mary text after I thought I’d blown any chance I had of striking up a conversation.

You have absolutely nothing to lose

19

u/TheeAJPowell 8h ago

Literally. I even went on a few dates with a girl a while back, vibed well but she wasn’t looking to date, fired the “FWB?” Nuke and she was up for it.

9

u/HeyTedday 6h ago

Ahhh.....the ol "naked man."

12

u/StetsonTuba8 18h ago

It's at the top now

64

u/I-hate-the-pats 1d ago

Yeah odds are she’s trying to defensively say “I’m not interested in hookups and don’t want that to be assumed if we met” but on a standoffish way

Guys on this subreddit need to realize that they might not be the most confident person in real life, but on this app you need to message with 10/10 confidence

Prompt ChatGPT “respond to this person confidently and flirting; her message is x/y/z”

193

u/wish_me_w-hell 1d ago

Don't prompt anything to any overhyped word predictor, think something for yourself and learn from your own mistake (but chances are that it will go well)

83

u/PM__ME__YOUR__NUDE5 22h ago

It's refreshing to see some sanity in here. Consulting a glorified Cleverbot for dating tips is insane advice to give

6

u/ShawnSimoes 23h ago

Nothing wrong with using the bot for ideas. Just don't expect good result copy/pasting unless you follow rules 1 and 2

4

u/quiette837 12h ago

I mean are you just gonna chatgpt every conversation? Or do you want her to know who you really are? She's trying to date a human, not AI.

If you're just hooking up, be up front about it. Don't be a coward.

3

u/remindsmeofbae 4h ago

Women want a dream. They rarely want the real man inside.

1

u/skadalajara 2h ago

This is InCel talk.

Women want a dream. If a man comes with even a little bit of it, she'll likely give him a chance. But he has to also have some substance as well.

Men want a dream, too. It's just a very different dream.

0

u/skadalajara 2h ago

I'm going to create a LLM plugin for OLD apps and call it ChatCdB. Cyrano de Bergerac. I'll make trillions!

-1

u/DudeYouHaveNoQuran 12h ago

There’s absolutely everything wrong with consulting a dumb robot for ideas on how to get laid lmao.

52

u/PM__ME__YOUR__NUDE5 22h ago

If you need ChatGPT in order to talk to humans, then you are not ready for a relationship. Jfc

2

u/I-hate-the-pats 21h ago

For someone who has only created posts searching for specific porns and who the gay for pay pornstars are, maybe sit out the dating advice for the masses

10

u/heseme 11h ago

What does that have anything to do with anything.

They are absolutely correct though.

2

u/PM__ME__YOUR__NUDE5 7h ago

How is that relevant? Your account is based entirely around American Football, therefore you should only have opinions on that topic?

This is clearly an alt account used for nsfw stuff. Dumbass

3

u/Meatloooaf 17h ago

Meh, I use AI for dating app responses sometimes. I'm witty irl, but as soon as I type it out, my neurospicyness kicks in and I overthink myself out of messages. AI helps me sanity check. Plus then I don't have to keep bothering my wife to make sure my joke is gonna land as intended to Sarah from tinder.

1

u/heseme 11h ago

Overthinking messages isn't typical for neurospicyness. It's typical for people.

-1

u/GrigsbyBear 10h ago

She was probably just drunk and or lonely when they matched and she’s trying to be nice now that’s she’s come to and isn’t as desperate

354

u/Evanthekid16 23h ago

Does your profile have your kinks on it or something? How would she know? Lol

135

u/DevsMetsGmen 14h ago

I actually took it the other way, that she might have some of her own which she doubts he shares. I do think it was an invitation to go down that road, though, even if it came across to OP as being shut down.

304

u/ali_ali45 21h ago

Why do they talk like HR department

34

u/MikeOxlong2420 7h ago

this is reddit, this whole app is an HR department

4

u/wiseguy887 6h ago

I feel like the quality of content has gone down on Reddit over the years personally, it has just become an extended version of 9gag/9chat which we had back in the days

-1

u/MikeOxlong2420 6h ago

what is 9gag/9chat?

0

u/TheoBess 5h ago

⁹chan??

460

u/sliferra 1d ago edited 1d ago

Tell her there’s only one way to find out, what else do you have to lose

6

u/hiimhuman1 8h ago

uhmm, self-esteem? /s

-2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

34

u/sliferra 1d ago edited 1d ago

Plz, do explain what you think the joke is in this post?

Coward deleted his comment

320

u/ArwingElite 1d ago

Friend Zone Speed Runner

147

u/SinisterPixel 22h ago

She said she likes your looks, vibes, and good times. She has handed you the keys. Unlock the door, my dude.

Focus on character and don't worry too much about sexual chemistry. Talk to her and let her know that she's got the vibe check spot on through your actions and conversation. You never know where this could carry you. It could lead to nothing. Or a good friendship. Or it could even work out that sexual chemistry comes later, once she gets to know you better.

A lot of men on dating apps will jump straight into sexual jokes and charged flirting. You have the oppertunity to stand out from the crowd.

Don't squander it.

12

u/RichWhatt 11h ago

Couldn't have said it better myself. Amazing advice. You need to shoot your shot, but do it correctly. Ball is in your court OP, good luck.

6

u/CompetitiveOcelot873 10h ago

What are you two on about? This was a weird af opener, why would you go for this

2

u/Treesrule 1h ago

They have no self respect and only care about banging hot girls

11

u/wailingwonder 8h ago

No. This is trash advice. She came out of the gate negging him (and was the one to bring up sex fyi). She's playing manipulative games. OP should stay away.

80

u/ghoulierthanthou 1d ago

I deleted them all yesterday. Fuck these games.

15

u/MacSchluffen 21h ago

What the fuck is sexual chemistry before you have real contact with a persons other than looks, vibe and an perceived overall good time? That’s three out of fucking three.

26

u/Dhegxkeicfns 1d ago

I've got a feeling we won't have any sexual chemistry either, but we could go sit in a park together somewhere and laugh and all the people who aren't attractive.

13

u/shrapmetal 1d ago

Friend zone without saying one word!

9

u/Relevant-Ad-5817 1d ago

It could have been worse, I matched with a girl a few weeks ago, I asked her if she wanted it to be Friday, and she told me that she gave me a like without wanting to, and that i was ugly but to Don't throw in the towel xD

1

u/ThrowRAGFMom 5h ago

I had multiple likes into conversations that were just friends swiping for them. Or at least that what 3 of them said it was before they unmatched lol. I eventually just gave up on dating apps, I'm chill being single

3

u/Big_Booty_Tootie 9h ago

She wants to talk about it. Get in there bud

3

u/Soetpotaetis 6h ago

Cause it's all just a f*cking joke/game to women... Wouldn't be surprised if they showed their "girlies" how many matches each of them got and how hot the guys are as a flex. Women live off attention

10

u/No-Ad5163 1d ago

Free dinner and drinks, duh

1

u/mihir892 5h ago

And with a friend in tow 🤫

6

u/PristineBaseball 23h ago

I mean, I guess she’s saying she wants to find out?

3

u/Chas_Tenenbaums_Sock 20h ago

Lack of using an Oxford comma, immediately would unmatch

0

u/k10storm 10h ago

fuck an oxford comma

2

u/Chas_Tenenbaums_Sock 10h ago

Lil Jon, he always tells the truth

2

u/HUNTCHA 5h ago

Bruh. Regardless of this particular response, how tf do people get responses from someone like that at all from just LIKING a photo? Didn't even put effort into responding to a prompt with anything witty or interesting. Wtffff, I hate everything lmao

2

u/Tall_Elevator189 3h ago

lol. This is me. I try to befriend everyone I match with even if I don’t find them attractive.

16

u/black_ish88 1d ago edited 8h ago

Sorry guys but if you are Gen Z or looking for Gen Z women on apps, you are already cooked. A bunch of us (mostly women) at our Sales Conference grilled the only Gen Z employee invited for how she scrolls apps and nobody ever fits the criteria (she is a 6.5 at best btw). It didn’t used to be that way 5-10 years ago.

13

u/Dhegxkeicfns 1d ago

Meh, she'll have youth still for a while. She can bag a midlife crisis or two before she's too old for them.

21

u/chineke14 1d ago

It's not a Gen z thing. It's a woman of all ages things especially 35 or below of age. OLD inflates the ego of women because they're the buyers in a saturated male market. It's been like this for years. It's only natural they'll be picky. Hence why the "are we dating the same guy" groups exist

Cue the you hate women incel comments.

13

u/black_ish88 23h ago edited 23h ago

Nothing wrong with picky. I was picky as a man as well. But picky has turned into unrealistic/fantasy for some. Plus it seems the micro attention spans from scrolling social media has also leaked into dating apps. The coworker I referenced wasn’t even reading the bios or looking at anymore than the first pic lol. Even “cute” ones were left swiped lol

1

u/jelder227 7h ago

Ok... a year ago I might have been there on the you hate women. But I am 58, and constantly matching with guys down to the 30s even. I won't go that far, but have dated several guys in their late 40s, and talked to soooo many I can't count.

Every time I match, if it seems to be going OK, I confirm they caught the age (we all know not everyone actually reads bios). Then I ask if it bothers them, and why not go younger.

Every single time.. younger women do drama, they are difficult, I want peace... you look calm...

7

u/DG_Now 23h ago

When someone starts rating a woman on a number scale, that's when I know to stop reading.

5

u/Ok-Engineering-5475 21h ago

Should he have just said a bit more attractive than average?

5

u/RedshiftOnPandy 20h ago

And women just disqualify 99%, neither are good.

6

u/Live_Positive 1d ago

Millennial checking in… it’s fucked for us too.

1

u/Hobbidance 9h ago

That is horrific behaviour. A BUNCH of you 'grilled' the only young woman at a Sales Conference. Then slating her by rating her appearance, big yikes!

Stay away from women, please.

0

u/NasFlow22 1d ago

It's so cooked man

2

u/Cuddling_Guava 21h ago

Just write down you don't own a yacht.....

4

u/Equivalent_Ad7389 20h ago

Women are only loyal to their feelings.

2

u/joelekane 23h ago

“Same. Let’s just use each other as practice. 🤷🏻‍♂️”

1

u/Not_A_Cardboard_Box 23h ago

Try a little banter doofus this is nothing.

1

u/skunkechunk 21h ago

“Scared of a good time?”

1

u/CamoTheseus 20h ago

interesting. How old are you and how old is she?

1

u/LousyLoads 11h ago

She fucking told you why 😂

1

u/icy_ticey 7h ago

I think it’s a new strategy

1

u/thebeardedman88 7h ago

It's called negging for fucks sake.

1

u/Dutchpvr 6h ago

"You don't have any kinks?"

1

u/mihir892 5h ago

She is exploring her options.

1

u/mistersuccessful 5h ago

Why? For looks, vibes and an overall good time

1

u/Mrknowalitte 2h ago

I might start using this as an opener on hinge. Wish me luck

1

u/YarhibolSaliceel40k 2h ago

Too many braindead swipers.

1

u/ironjoeseph3 1h ago

Tinder is a hookup app at the end of the day. Women want this perfect guy, but that guy that they want is either not on tinder or if he is then he is only looking for sex/hookup, not get married or have a long term relationship. Don’t listen to the nonsense when a woman says in her bio, “ not here to hookup.” They all are, just waiting on the right one

1

u/konshens2013 1h ago

Prove them wrong

1

u/cZar_04 1h ago

Well just go w it and try to meet up w her sometime. Anyway you can’t truly tell if you will have “sexual chemistry” with someone just based off of photos. I mean, you can lol, just the basic physical attraction to an attractive person. But, once you meet someone in person they might be much better looking in person than their photos. I know in my experience I am not photogenic so when I did end up meeting some girls they were surprised because I was better looking than they expected. Which is probably more common for men to look better in real life since we don’t use filters and stuff as often as girls do. But yea, I wouldn’t just consider that a rejection, you can still try to meet her, even if it’s just casual like just to be friends, it could still end up developing into sexual attraction for her

u/Surround8600 42m ago

That’s the weirdest shit to say especially on the first message. Da fuk.

1

u/ThexanR 20h ago

Woman moment.

1

u/IsDinosaur 14h ago

Bro has zero game.

0

u/younevershouldnt 1d ago

Oof, that's a serious burn

-9

u/PaulineMermaid 16h ago

"Boohoo, men never get compliments"

Man gets compliment.

"No, not like that. It has to be accompanied by sex!"

She tried to boost you, she felt you were awesome enough that she needed to tell you - and you're pouting because she doesn't want to fuck you.

Maybe she's psychic...

2

u/Excellent-Ad8571 9h ago

wtf are you talking about? 💀

-6

u/BallBearingBill 1d ago

I would have said "That's a shame, most people like mind blowing orgasms".

-5

u/Jironasaurus 1d ago

Self sabotage.

-5

u/ctfinest28 23h ago

You are an idiot. Just say this wouldn't be the first time I've proven someone wrong.

-8

u/Responsible_Lake_804 23h ago

I know better than to do this, but there have been several times where I see a profile and overall I like the person but I know I wouldn’t have chemistry. I’d LIKE to say something encouraging and nice such as this but obviously that’s pointless given the platform.

-7

u/Limp_Duck_9082 20h ago

Sex isn't everything. You CAN have a relationship without sex.

10

u/T-NextDoor_Neighbor 19h ago

If you are asexual sure. If not you’re not then absolutely not. OP is on tinder for crying out loud. I doubt he wants something platonic.

-7

u/Limp_Duck_9082 19h ago

I am asexual. However, my parents kept a healthy relationship for over 10 years — until my dad's passing —without sex.

Sexual compatibility is important if you want/need a sexual relationship, but I would also say that it's equally important to build a relationship on other things outside of sex alone.

-4

u/Sea-Possibility7998 23h ago

The tone of his writing is he’s dead serious.