r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/Legitimate_Ad_5332 • 3d ago
ULPT Request: Neighbor sprays mud on my car
Neighbor sprays mud on car when I park in front of his house. First time it's happened to me, but apparently it's a known thing in the neighborhood. Apparently, on Thursdays (the day before trash day), he is extra mad and that's when he sprays mud on people's cars since he has to move his trash cans 10 more feet lol. Today he sprayed mud on my car and sandwiched my car in between with zero space. What should I do?
Edit: wow didn't expect to get so many suggestions haha I'm definitely gonna try a few lol and for context for those that said park some where else, I got home at 11pm last night and I live in LA. There was legit only one spot on the street and that was the only one open in a reasonable distance from my house. He sprays mud on my car via spraying the hose into his dying grass that's mostly loose dirt from in between the curb and sidewalk.
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u/Bright_Crazy1015 3d ago
A pickup with an 18' car hauling trailer.
If he ever gets you for a disabled vehicle by sabotaging your new to you truck, you can put it on the car hauler so it can't be towed off.
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u/nurdmann 3d ago
Sign him up for ChipDrop. Get a ton of wood chips delivered to his driveway.
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u/HeyT00ts11 3d ago
Those people aren't messing around either. I once had a chip drop come a couple days early, and I tried to refuse it because the garden wasn't ready and the guy got his boss on the phone to yell at me.
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u/decimalsanddollars 13h ago
Chip drop is wild. My wife signed us up a few years ago. We wanted to put chips down under some soil to level off a dip in my yard and will in some planter boxes.
I was expecting maybe 4 yards of chips.
These dudes dropped 14 cubic yards of chips, branches, logs and wood slices in my driveway. The pile was halfway up my house.
I think there’s a photo in my post history.
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u/nurdmann 12h ago
An average first experience chip drop. Mine was similar. About 16+ yards in my driveway. I had to hustle to get enough moved out of the driveway the following Monday for work. So much Christmas tree tinsel, wires, and broken ornaments.
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u/TacoTornadoes 3d ago
Take a dump on his windshield
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u/Substantial-Ant-9183 3d ago
My cousin did this to a police paddy wagon in highschool. Hand to gods🤚
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u/DeFiClark 3d ago
JB Weld his trash can lids
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u/AndyJobandy 3d ago
Don't sand down the edges with something really rough either to help it stick either
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u/QuttiDeBachi 3d ago
When he’s sleeping go sprinkle powdered mash potatoes all over his fuckin yard….sit back and wait for him or nature to add water….profit
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u/rustywoodbolt 3d ago
Can you elaborate?
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u/QuttiDeBachi 3d ago
Add water and that powder starts expanding and you now have a mashed potato lawn….so rain or sprinkler or whatever…the powder will sit there dormant till activated.
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u/rustywoodbolt 3d ago
That powder will start decomposing the minute it hits the ground. Without a truckload of instant mashed potatoes you won’t even be able to tell anyone did anything.
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u/walkawaysux 3d ago
Since moving the trash cans is a big deal for him make it more difficult to move them add heavy stuff to the can bricks dirt rocks anything laying around that’s heavy
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u/Bright_Crazy1015 3d ago
Yep, getting gravel all over the walkway will make them more difficult to pull, and may bruise his feet if he's dumb enough to go for it barefoot or with cheap house shoes.
Adding thinset mortar to the plastic trash cans is a good way to add weight. Splash a scoop in there every week. Until it's got an extra 50 lbs on the sides and bottom.
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u/phathomthis 3d ago
On top of that is it's too heavy they won't pick up his trash or if it causes damage to the truck they'll fine him for it!
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u/AbruptMango 3d ago
Fill them with mud?
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u/walkawaysux 3d ago
Yes anything heavy so he has to struggle with it
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u/eatingganesha 3d ago
this is vandalism. Set up a camera and record his dumb ass. Then notify the police.
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u/theuserwithoutaname 3d ago
Hm, surely this is to ethical to be effective
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u/fattrackstar 3d ago
Most cops in cities won't even show up if you call them for people stealing your property. You really think they are gonna show up for the neighbor spraying his yard with water and kicking up mud on a car? Calling the police would just be a waste of time
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u/Cuneus-Maximus 3d ago
Police won’t do shit. If you have the right coverage your insurance company sure as heck will.
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u/HappyArkAn 3d ago
Piss disk
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u/TMCLSD 3d ago
Just discovered this sub and seen this several times. What exactly is a piss disk?
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u/HappyArkAn 3d ago
It's a running joke and a ULPT which consist in a frozen piss disk that you throw in someone property (here, in the car of the neighbor). I didn' know it could upset some other redditor like the other one commenting. I guess he was a victim of a piss disk. Or maybe he s just a troll, we are on ULPT after all, we are not the brightest citizen.
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u/Bright_Crazy1015 3d ago edited 3d ago
Get him on video. This is vandalism. Easy to call the law or file small claims for the cost of having a car detailed and paint corrected.
For an unethical solution, fermented Herring in his cans and down the intake cowl for the AC in his car.
That shit makes most people gag and vomit as soon as you open it. It's a Swedish product "Surströmming" and it comes in a sealed can, for good reason. Amazon likely carries it.
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u/dubble_210 3d ago
I got you...assuming your neighbour has a car spend a few days eating a high fibre diet, once you start to notice you're shitting solid logs dont shit for 3 days, the goal is to produce a the biggest shit possible. Give birth to your monster shit. Take the shit to your neighbours car and kebab it onto his windscreen wiper. Smear your shitty hand across his windscreen, then when he gets into his car and notices the mess he will activate the wiper washer function, the water should lubricate the shit into some form of paste further smearing shit onto his windscreen. Gloves optional.
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u/AffectionateMarch394 3d ago
Every time he sprays your car with mud, spray his garbage cans with mud. Make sure you get the handles real good.
Negative reinforcement for the win
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u/Apprehensive_Hat8986 3d ago
Technically, that's positive reinforcement. The term doesn't mean "good reinforcement", it means "added stimulus". i.e. Mud shows up on his cans. Negative reinforcement would be a stimulus disappearing, like people not parking in front of his house.
What he does has been working for him, so he's got negative reinforcement encoraging him.
His hose disappearing is yet another kind of stimulus.
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u/theuserwithoutaname 3d ago
Wait, why do you need to park in front of his house though?
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u/dotouchmytralalal 3d ago
Could be California, in which case he’s lucky to park on his own street
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u/theuserwithoutaname 3d ago
Ugh, good point- don't miss trying to find parking out there
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u/dotouchmytralalal 3d ago
Yeah and then weighing if that parking spot is a broken window risk vs a further spot
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u/Prudent-Landscape-70 3d ago
Dish soap on his windshield. It won't harm anything, but a layer of that stuff collects everything and won't go away. Just keeps sudsing.
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u/rufireproof3d 17h ago
Draw a dick on his driveway with waterproofing sealer.
Call a roofing company and request a quote for his address.
Call the trash company and cancel service for his address.
Run a classified ad in your local newspaper for free kittens to a good home with his number.
Schedule a meeting with Jehovah's Witness at his address.
Give out his contact info to pyramid marketing companies.
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u/Curious_Filmer 16h ago
Controversial opinion: offer to put his garbage cans out for him for permanent mud-free use of the spot
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u/missholly9 3d ago
uh, stop parking in front of his house. it’s rude.
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u/Romeo_Glacier 3d ago
Water balloons with round up in them. Chuck em on his yard.
Fish sauce in the air intakes right below the windshield. Hot day will cause the inside of his car to smell like a fish’s asshole.
Put honey or other sticky substance on his trash cans handle. They will be sticky and draw bugs.
Super glue the trash can lids shut.
And the tried and true. Piss disks.