r/UnsentLetters • u/Acrobatic-Main-1450 • 5d ago
Lovers You’re slowly losing me
You may never read this.
Or if you do, maybe it will be too late. But I need you to know what you’re walking away from—not as a warning, but as a truth you’ll carry, whether you admit it or not.
You’re not just losing me.
You’re losing a life you could have had with me. A life full of softness and depth. A love that would’ve stood beside you even when the world didn’t. You’re losing someone who would have fought for you, healed beside you, and loved you through every version of yourself—even the broken ones.
You’re losing a woman who would’ve woken up every day choosing you.
Who believed in you even when you didn’t believe in yourself.
Who saw the man you could be, and never once used your past against you.
You’re losing the kind of love people don’t just find again.
The kind of love that holds you in silence, that makes a home in your chaos, that stands still while everything else moves.
You’re losing a partner.
A best friend.
A mirror.
A fire.
A soft place to land.
A future.
And maybe right now, you think you’re choosing space, freedom, clarity.
But one day, when the silence stops feeling peaceful and starts feeling empty, when you look back and realize the door is truly closed, you’ll remember me—not as a memory, but as the moment you turned away from what was real.
And I’ll be gone.
Not because I stopped loving you.
But because I started loving myself more.
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u/Competitive_Wait7332 5d ago
Holy crap, I could have written that myself. Except I already pulled the trigger. And it's too late for them.
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u/Red-Licorice-Whips 5d ago
I have been that woman who was lost, discarded or walked away.
I know who I am and what I can give. I'm working so hard on me right now. Because I want to find the man who will do all those things right back.
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u/TensionEquivalent192 4d ago
I am not your person. You did not write this about me. But as a man who had the same and as a man who chose the same as your person and then regretted it for a long time, just know this, there is nothing you could have done. I was too afraid of what stared me in the face until it was too late. Your man is not a bad person. I'm sure he even loves you. He may just be grappling with fear. Extend him grace. Give him understanding, but still... choose yourself
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u/Acrobatic-Main-1450 4d ago
This sounds heartbreaking. I am truly sorry.
I have thought about this, you know? I just wish there was a way to make him see before it was too late. Cause I promised myself, once I fully close that door, it won’t open again as long as I live. 😞
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u/TensionEquivalent192 4d ago
May i share something with you? It is a story of love loss and ultimately becoming. It's is written from the perspective of the man. It is not written about you. But maybe just maybe it will bring you peace
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u/Acrobatic-Main-1450 4d ago
I’d love that. Thank you
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u/TensionEquivalent192 4d ago
Sent you a message
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u/Usual-Idea-2343 5d ago
Unfortunately I am going through the same. Hanging on but letting go all at the same time. And it only makes it harder, knowing that I have been there when no one else has and yet I'm the one that is being pushed away.
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u/Carenbear01 2d ago
Me too... I did so much and was deceived and pushed away. It's a heartbreak only those know going through it. 🤗🤗🤗
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u/Ferretyfingers 5d ago
This resonates strongly. I could have written this.
I love him. I have already given him more chances than I have anyone else in years, on the strength of this. But my patience is wearing thin and I have almost run out of tears to shed.
If he wants to be defeatist, to be alone, I am probably going to let him.
If he wants me then he will have to make some gestures, and what’s more, stay consistent at it.
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u/Carenbear01 2d ago
Me too the same thing.. men can be so stupid sometimes and it just hurts so much!
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u/throwaway_202010 4d ago
This letter gave me goosebumps. I am sorry for the pain behind it, but grateful you're learning to pour love into yourself.
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u/Ok-Individual-1406 5d ago
I can really relate to this in my current situation. It’s like I could’ve written it for my partner.
It’s so heartbreaking, but sometimes we have to love ourselves more than we love another person, even when it’s difficult.
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u/Impressive_Wolf1489 2d ago
Absolutely devastating letter. But if you're willing to fight for them, why aren't you willing to tell them before it's too late? Just leave them hanging only to confirm everything after the door is shut. Its cruel. Push them away enough so their silence justifies abandoning them. I should know this is just how it works. It's just how people are. i know you have reasons, and maybe this is how things always will be, but this place is just tragic.
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u/NoKaleDale 5d ago
you better love yourself, you are all you've got. people who really love others rarely need to go to a public forum and preach about love anonymously. whoever told you love was a feeling lied. its action.
love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah-jeff buckley
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u/Odd-Tadpole-6172 5d ago
We're all human and for what ever reason may be someone who is having difficulty and in a huge monster wave and there are drifting further out. Sometimes people don't have some one to talk to or someone else doesn't care to hear sob story or and over, what ever it is. Shame on u for not making people feel comfortable and get them some answers and get them back to shore safe and sound. I bet some people's lives have changed in all kinds of ways from advice on not . Don't h Judge others u don't like go else wear and read about getting pedicures or something.
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u/Odd-Tadpole-6172 5d ago
Men getting pedicures and drinking champagne and eating chocolate might spark ur interest, perhaps
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u/Usual-Idea-2343 5d ago
In order to truly love anyone you have to love yourself first and then and only then can you truly ever love someone else. If you don't love yourself then don't go looking for love from someone else in return when you can't truly love them the way you should.
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u/Appropriate_Boss1794 5d ago
I'm sorry that you feel like your losing me. I love you with all my heart and soul. I'm doing everything in me to keep my mind in check. I don't want anyone else. I don't want to go looking for greener grass. I'm happy and at peace with you. And I'm being as patient as I can and hoping you will open up to me and let me know we're we stand. I love you babe
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u/raze_valo 4d ago
Why does this feel like a letter I would have sent her but the postman knew I would be hurt if she doesn’t accept it?
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u/Carenbear01 2d ago
I can relate too so much but when it's toxic and you know it you have to let go. I tried so much to give care and love. I didn't get it back the same way. It hurts like a knife 🔪 though stabbing at you with pain you can feel in your mind, heart, body and soul. When you fall in love with a person and you just thought they felt the same but they didn't put in the same effort as you did. Then you have to choose you and love yourself more.
It touched me reading this. I still cry about my relationship with him. But he didn't choose to love me the same way so I have to accept it for what it was. Although I though different until I didn't feel loved like I deserved. It's so hard and we have to go through these life lessons. I have went through it myself and twice now. But this second time I think hit me even worse than the first. I don't think I can even love again. It's hard.
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u/Patrick191336 5d ago
I see these one-sided deals it's not because I don't love you it's because I love myself more but you're refusing to communicate with this individual so yeah I'm sorry that's a one-sided deal you're not truly trying to go in depth into the Storm and this life battle if you're looking at it that way I'm sorry I got to tell you straight from the heart if you want to use all these deals or whatever it's simple to communicate it's you that makes it hard for the communication or the situation get past the hard and communicate if it truly matters.... If it doesn't truly matter keep going with that one-sided coin or a life
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u/Lazy_Friendship_6728 5d ago
Maybe you should make sure they read this? I would work with the one I love to ensure losing each other would not happen without a second thought Although not showing my appreciation is not one of my shortcomings though if that did happen it would certainly not be deliberate.
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u/BottlegBoy 5d ago
I chose you every day, and when you had the opportunity to choose me you didn't.
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u/Maleficent_Voice_747 4d ago
Never try and love a woman walking away, guys. You should let them know this. I hope it works out for you, OP. All the best before you have to become that woman. 🫂 Good luck. ❤️
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u/BoysenberryOwn8432 3d ago
I hope like hell this isn't meant for me. My person should know that I'm not putting distance or giving up. My phone has been broke and that's why they haven't heard from me. My meds have made me sleep obnoxious amounts of time
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u/Sufficient_Pay_349 2d ago
Yeah, I mean it’s just a matter of fact that I literally posted this through your body or your profile. Miss you 🐻
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u/Key-Professional509 5h ago
Damn. I wish I would’ve sent something like this to my ex as he was pulling away. Because we both know it’s the truth.
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u/Odd-Tadpole-6172 5d ago
Seems to me that you gave her your heart ur soul ur time . Your main concern and purpose was for the one you loved and u even took away u from urself. Now if any one doesn't know thar u really gave ur every day words. Time, thinking about her ,her wants her needs all was from ur big big beautiful beating heart to her she was the only owner of ur heart and she was probably aware ot that and made it made her feel smothered, and scared. I don't know her. This is why communicating is and trust is so important to a great hot loving relationship. And if can't give you a reason or what's wrong than let her go. If it's meant to be it will be. But don't just sit and wait broken hearted and wondering what if. If I did something wrong. Ect. Don't sit there for long, because she might go see if the grass is greener on the Other side, and when found out ur a pot of gold that many girls want rather than an asshole u fucks anything that moves and doesn't really care about feelings and emotions and pleasing there love that might abuse her, ect. Than it is ur choice if u want her to have that key once again but beware she I'm do it again, I hope it all good for you both I'm sure ur both good people
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u/Acrobatic-Main-1450 5d ago
You know.. some posts here are so general and many people are not looking for advice. Neither am I.
I’m a woman, who has given some time to her lover to choose her again. I am a woman who is standing here with love in her heart even after being broken to pieces by her man. He is good, he is selfless, he is kind, but he might want to take a different road through life than what I can offer. He might choose himself over us
Anyway, I have given myself one more week to hope. After this, I’ll be choosing to heal instead of spending my days between the feeling of loosing us all over again and hoping I am his choice.
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u/Odd-Tadpole-6172 5d ago
Does express himself emotions his thoughts his future? He does sound like real gentle man rare to find one anymore. I hope it all works out for the best .
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u/Suchega_Uber 5d ago
You're doing the right thing. I am a person who is similar to your person, but wasn't in a healthy enough place to want it. I have my own you. Actually, a few people like you. I am now, finally, in a place where I can see that. From where I sit, I am so proud of them. They each went off and had a better life without me, one I couldn't possibly have given them, because I hadn't been managing myself properly. I think about them often. I regret so much, but at the same time, I am so happy for them. Happy they chose their own happiness.
It is incredibly kind and compassionate of you to give this offer and incredibly brave to choose you own happiness. I don't know what your person will do. It's not really my business. I just wanted to offer you my experience in the hope it will reassure you that you are making the right decision.
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u/TrickyPaperclip 4d ago
I relate to what you wrote. I am also a similar person to OPs person and regretful over the past when I wasn't more aware or healthy enough to manage my emotions and behaviors. I am not in contact with my exes anymore but many are married now and have a life I was ready for or able to give them. I'm happy for them! One sounded like the OP and I wish I could have heard him 5+ years ago. I still think about him but we are No Contact and ended harshly after much struggle. I sometimes wish I could apologize now that I have grown and can see clearly now but I also feel I could try harder to let go and forgive myself. I think OP is also doing the right thing too.
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u/concious_muscle_ 5d ago
you helped the opposition using me not going for that I have strict regimenteds
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