r/WallStreetbetsELITE • u/Synfinium • 4d ago
Shitpost American homies how we feeling tonight
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u/brendamn 4d ago
I'm feeling sick of this fucker. Every dam news and information site is him. Finance, comedy, sports, science this fucker finds some way to creep into it by running his big lying mouth just pulling shit out of his ass daily.
Why the fuck did we elect a president we have to hear about 24/7 and wonder what dumb shit will be come up with today. I want to think about a president 1 time a week tops. Fuck this guy
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u/raeninatreq 4d ago
I'm Australian so literally whenever trump vomits his shit it's every midnight for me. So I'm literally waking up to trump on the news having said something big and ugly every. Day.
I'm so sick of him too. He's not funny or inspiring. He's like an annoying mozzie in your bedroom whining in our ears.
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u/IdealOnion 3d ago
Oh he’s inspiring all right. He’s inspired millions of Americans to embrace their worst impulses, he’s inspired them to envision a future where their fellow Americans are ruled by their betters. He’s one inspirational mother fucker.
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u/benjatado 3d ago
Ah, I can only imagine that incredible blessing feeling to be able lay my head down on the other side of the world from this political hell hole place called America.
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u/harbison215 3d ago
Yup. I’m tired of seeing his fat fucking face and then doom scrolling through comments and nothing ever changes or gets better. I’m trying to quit giving a fuck but it gets more difficult each year as the headlines get more and more outlandish
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u/Extreme_Anywhere2430 4d ago
How the fuck did you clowns vote for this prick??
JFC - he told us how fucked up he would be and yet here we are 🤷🏻♂️
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u/Universe789 4d ago
Because Republicans are so remedial that they would dunk their heads in a portal potty just to laugh at everyone's reaction as other people see and smell them them.
Political suicide bombers, if you will.
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u/OlBigSwole 4d ago
“A conservative would shit their own pants just so a liberal would have to smell it” seems apropos all things considered
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u/RelativeCareless2192 3d ago
They already cut their nose to spite their face, so they can't smell their own shit anyways.
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u/SuperFeneeshan 3d ago
MAGA people have a few reasons. I have a few friends that are between 90-100% MAGA. One is capable of occasionally saying, "I don't agree with X... but." That's the 90% guy. The 100% guy is just a lost cause. Every message he sends ends in a wink emoji or smile.
They believe that the debt and deficit would collapse the economy down the road. Better to rip the band-aid off now and put us on stronger footing immediately than to keep growing the debt.
They believe that we are dealing with unfair trade deals with the rest of the world so why shouldn't we tariff them?
They both regularly just go back to how bad "wokeness" is for some reason. Like mid economic debate just.. "So you think dudes dressing up as chicks should be able to participate in women's sports?!" Which is an interesting economic argument when we're talking about DOGE or tariffs.
That's just my experience with two devout MAGA boys. My other MAGA-adjacent friend is more like "Well... I think the liberals are exaggerating how bad he is."
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u/SlowIntroduction3732 3d ago
Apparently, people thought Joe Rogan was the most trusted source of information. Mis-me on that
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u/wtfwtfwtfwtf2022 4d ago
He looks like a human fart in a Santa hat.
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u/Rocky75617794 4d ago
Close. He is a WET human fart and is like Santa—fat.
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u/passion-froot_ 4d ago
Donald Trump is what happens when your drunk roommate superglues his own asscheeks together before drinking laxatives, but forgot a 2-3 cm gap in the glue. That way the shit becomes a fountain instead of a drool
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u/GweepLathandas 4d ago
A voluminous, puddingy fart in a hot tub that your dad didn’t give you permission to use…
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u/BlackBlood4567 3d ago
Watch what you say
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u/discsarentpogs 3d ago
Just don't miss
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u/WestCoastBestCoast01 3d ago
Can you believe that dumbass kid who made it on the roof
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u/fortestingprpsses 3d ago
It's hydra now. You cut the head off, another will take its place...
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u/Wjldenver 4d ago
Another day, another crisis. This will define Trump’s second term.
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u/pkg4133 4d ago
I mean, that was his first term as well. Another day, another crisis
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u/schmeckfest 4d ago
And yet, half of the US electorate wanted more of it, because the other candidate was a woke black woman.
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u/fortestingprpsses 3d ago
Half of them are bigots who can't rub brain cells together to figure out what's in their best interest.
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u/Maleficent-Farm9525 4d ago
Tomorrow the stocks will be great to ski downhill.
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u/Low_Entertainer_6973 4d ago
And all through the land, not a Trumper was aware of the stupidity at hand.
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u/HotAspect8894 4d ago
Believe it or not, calls
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u/Born-Competition2667 4d ago
This.... for no other reason than everyone says we're going to crash... seen this movie before.
"Inflation at ATHs! WWIII is coming!"
SPY pumps 5%*
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u/HotAspect8894 4d ago
Everyone’s too bearish. Puts are super expensive rn too.
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u/Born-Competition2667 4d ago
Yep... puts are JUICED rn and flow reflects that.
I'm not saying back to ATHs next month by any means, but I said going into this week, I wouldn't be surprised if we start a little red, went flat... and pumped into the end of the week... Then just chop until either the FED, ERs or tariff changes/negotiations occur.
I'm pretty heavy cash and have just been scalping the IV, but that price action wouldn't surprise me at all.
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u/Best-Act4643 4d ago
Good luck, V-shaped recovery incoming!
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u/Tosslebugmy 4d ago
Liberation day is the kind of thing Kim Jong would call a day he’s conscripted everyone aged 6-60. Remember when he and Dump hung out just because?
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u/Parking_Guava8657 4d ago
I hope Americans enjoy Termination Slip Day... they are going to liberate you from your jobs, houses, and repo your cars
Good luck claiming unemployment support, since DOGE is chainsawing everything
Americans need to cancel this clown show... the world is waiting
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u/LaChevreDeReddit 4d ago
He is creating a mobs of Angry people with time on their hand and desperate for food and money.
....what could go wrong.
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u/mik33tion 4d ago
‘Twas the night before tariffs, when all through the States, Not a business was stirring, all fearing their fates. The tariffs were placed on imports with care, In hopes that Donnie soon wouldn’t be there. The workers were restless, anxious in their beds, While visions of price hikes danced in their heads. And economists with forecasts, and I with a wrap, Had just settled our nerves for an economic nap. When on the news there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter. Away to the TV I flew in a flash, Opened my laptop and cleared out my cache. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a figure so orange, with tariffs to cheer. With a little comb-over, lively and brash, I knew in a moment it must be Donnie’s bash. More rapid than eagles, his policies came, And he whistled and tweeted, calling them by name: “Now Tariffs on China! Now Europe! Now Mexico’s turn! On Canada! On Japan! It’s time to burn!”
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u/leshake 4d ago
50/50 on whether he calls some bullshit extension or makes some "clarification" that's unclear and either does nothing or does everything while holding the global economy hostage for no reason.
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u/AllThingsBeginWithNu 4d ago
He’s either going to crash the market or tell us we have all been involved in the most epic episode of “punk’d” ever recorded
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u/truthputer 4d ago
How do I opt out of this experiment? I rather like having an economy that can produce enough food and not having to ration gasoline.
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u/rabidwolf86 4d ago
Trumpcesion is in session, hip hip hooray. Get your goods and run for the hills.
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u/LordReekrus 4d ago
TV man sure knows how to create a good cliff hanger episode
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u/Rocky75617794 4d ago
I look forward to the season finale when he falls off the cliff after a natural death heart attack
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u/stonka_truck 4d ago
...and all through the white house The senate was silent, and so was the house.
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u/MilitantlyWokePatrio 4d ago
Fantastic. Booker broke the racist record, and America won in Wisconsin and Florida (through the margins). We see the smoke and mirrors of this traitor being exposed in the first tangible way electorally and it's great.
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u/GlassTarget5727 4d ago
I work in an office and before the election most in the office were praising Trump and after the election they were filled with joy and they kept talking about how much our country will be improved, we were outnumbered 26 to three but for the last two weeks the atmosphere has changed and when an outside office associate comes in and the topic is mentioned, these people actually tell them that they have no interest in politics and never supported Trump.
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u/WilyWascallyWizard 4d ago
Idk, crypto pumped today but now is dropping again. Looking forward to tomorrow just to see what happens.
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u/Infinite_Adjuvante 4d ago
All VIXed up here. If not tomorrow, Thursday. If not Thursday, Friday. Backlash is in our future soon.
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u/FullRage 4d ago
Waiting to see how hard market tanks, then deploying my cash. Managed to actually time things for once.
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u/NiceGuy373 4d ago
When do tarrifs kick in?
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u/TandemCombatYogi 4d ago
That's the fun part! They will kick in and then be canceled at an interval that can't be predicted based on Trump's mood!
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u/HotTopicMallRat 4d ago
I liked the filibuster . I’m taking my last pup cup win before I get the pink injection
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u/pistoljefe 4d ago
All we have to do but we’re all little bitches is stop filing and paying taxes all once, our very own liberation day.
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u/theydontlikeitupems 4d ago
I'm waiting for the tarrifs on America watch China profit from this not usa
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u/Lopsided-Code9707 4d ago
He’s trying to run his presidency like a reality TV show. This season is a complete dumpster fire compared to season one. I can’t believe it was renewed for a second season.
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u/Hendrik_the_Third 3d ago
Hilarious they come with terms such as "liberation day" without and sensible explanation or context.
"They're not going to like this"
"Just call it Liberation Day and they'll put out flags for it"
"You sure?"
"Look, who's the professional conman here?"
"Ok, if you say so..."
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u/Much-Question-1553 3d ago
'Twas the Night Before Tariffs
Twas the night before tariffs, and all through the States,
Folks buzzed about taxes on goods in their crates.
Boxes and boxes of toys, shirts, and more
Would soon cost us extra when they reached our shore.
The children were puzzled, unsure what it meant,
“Why should our new teddy bear cost us more rent?”
But Mom gently whispered, “We’ll be just fine,
We’ll budget and manage—though costs may climb!”
Across the big oceans, factories stood still,
They’d heard the new taxes might soon fit the bill.
“Will people buy less?” the workers would ponder,
As dreams of quick profits grew heavy with wonder.
Business owners at home all scratched at their heads,
While talk-show hosts muttered and shared worried threads.
“Prices may spike, and markets might stumble.
But hey,” said one anchor, “let’s try not to grumble!”
Even the President, perched in his chair,
Warned of new duties that might cause some despair.
“We’ll show them!” he said, pounding his desk,
Though some grown-ups mumbled the plan was grotesque.
But bedtime arrived, and children still yawned,
Hugging plush buddies whose labels were drawn
From places afar—where planes often soar,
And ships full of goods float from shore to shore.
Outside in the dark, the moon softly glowed,
While wide trucks rolled slowly down America’s roads.
Tomorrow could bring us a tricky new rule,
Yet kids would still wake up, get ready for school.
Sure, moms and dads might grouse at the cost,
But life would go on, no matter what’s lost.
We’d pinch a few pennies, we’d shuffle our loans,
We’d grumble together while checking our phones.
And if global friends felt put out or sore,
We’d aim to make amends—maybe open the door
To talking things through without all the tussles,
Remembering neighbors can help grow our muscles.
So rest, little dreamers, the world’s big and bright.
Prices may rise, but we’ll push through the night.
For tariffs come swiftly, yet kindness can last—
When tomorrow arrives, we’ll learn from the past.
The End
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u/AdamG6200 3d ago
Every time I wonder how this is happening I'm reminded that 51% of American adults can't read at an Eighth Grade level. We are a profoundly stupid people and he is the king.
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u/litetravelr 3d ago
How am I feeling as an American lately? To paraphrase Office Space:
"...every single day...has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."
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u/TomatoesB4Potatoes 3d ago
He’s still working on his plan the night before the announcement. Nobody has any idea if there is a grand strategy (there isn’t), it’s all dependent on a 78 old man with history of bankruptcy with no idea how tariffs work. This is no way to run a world economy and we’ll all wonder how all this was allowed to happen.
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u/Madpup70 3d ago
It's now the morning of tariff day and in three special elections with national consequences, Democrats over performed from November by a wide margin.
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u/bungeebrain68 3d ago
Who put a Santa hat on a 300 pound shit pile? That's disgusting
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u/Eagle_eye_Online 3d ago
The tariffs including the counter tariffs are going to hurt so much it's not even funny anymore.
Anyway, if you have that doomsday bunker ready, fill up because it's going to be a rough ride.
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u/arschgeburte 3d ago
Trump is probably the stupidest person to get elected as president of the United States.
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u/Famous_Bit_5119 3d ago
Twas the night before tariffs and still during the day
When the greedy boy was waiting to see who would pay
His pockets were full, but he still wanted more
He needed the bribes from the companies offshore
Every word and utterance got him attention
But like any addiction, He needed an intervention
Someone to say he was wrong and that he should stop
or the public standards of living will drop
But no one would. They were all too afraid
Now they lay back in the bed they have made.
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u/Mr_Majesty 3d ago
…and all through the store,The prices were rising, eggs, cars, and soon to be more.The shelves were half-empty, the shoppers in fear,Knowing new duties would soon hit next year.Booker stood for 24 hours, showing no fear. When out on the lot, there arose such a clatter,I ran to the checkout to see what’s the matter.A man in a suit, with a smug little grin,Declared, “These price hikes are how we all win!” I stared in confusion, then laughed with delight—“Guess I’ll just buy it all yesterday night!”
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u/Qopperus 3d ago
Crash crash crash crash crash. Not doing me any good. We will see how long this “trade war” keeps up.
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u/Irish_pug_Player 3d ago
Twas the night before tarrifs and all through the white house, not a person was happy. Not even a mouse
And down the chimney came this fat bitch. Who came like the Grinch, to be a prick
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u/ThrOE_away_42069 3d ago
OP being premature yet again - tariff announcement is at market close. TONIGHT is the night before tariff effects on the market emerge.
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u/BlahBlahBlahSmithee 3d ago
And all through the house the midterms were coming, and they all cursed this louse!
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u/nv87 3d ago
What’s funny is, he is calling these tariffs reciprocal, alright so if there are indeed tariffs on American cats in Europe, by all means put tariffs on European cats (yes I am rolling with the typo). However he labelled our value added tax of between 17 and 27 percent depending on which EU country you look at as a „hidden tariff“ and wants to impose that on Americans too. So you all are being lied to dear friends across the pond. He is back dooring a vat on you. It’s a regressive tax, that used to be low in the USA. I guess he wants to fleece the average American citizen for all they’re worth. You’re lucky it’s only on foreign products (so far).
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u/porklomaine 3d ago
Its refreshing to see the worst possible people I know are frustrated with this, even if it is only because of their finances and not because of the million other more important reasons. I appreciate you people.
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u/HeymoeEyepoke 3d ago
Like I just got in some guys dark rape van who promised me candy. Americans proved we are the dumbest country
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u/ScribeTheMad 3d ago
'Twas the night before tarrifs, and all through the right not a brain cell was stirring.
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u/leeny13red 3d ago
Feels like an extended April Fool’s day. How many hours/days before 45 changes his mind?
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u/Thin-Competition3018 3d ago
And we can't sleep because of the things that will be left under the tree, we can sleep because of the things we can no longer afford.
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u/highsinthe70s 3d ago
And somehow, when corporations exploit the tariffs to raise prices on everything, much as the did during Covid, the MAGA crew will blame Biden and Harris.
God, save us from these ignorant buffoons.
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u/skysoblueee 4d ago
I can’t wait to be liberated on Liberation Day from… wait what are we being liberated from again?