r/autism • u/Picklekitten22 AuDHD • 1d ago
Discussion Does anyone else hold their pencil like this? I also hold it very hard
Idk why I hold it so close to the point. I’ve just always done it
152
u/jjackyy 1d ago
I have a permanent writer's callus on my finger from holding my pencils too hard as a child
43
12
u/Jazzlike-Company-136 1d ago
I have this too! I haven’t been in school writing stuff in 10 years but I have the callus forever.
7
3
3
3
u/Lone_StreetCone 1d ago
Similar. the skin on the inside of the middle section of my middle finger has been worn smooth due to my pencil wielding ways.
→ More replies (1)•
221
u/Consistent_Wallaby73 Autistic 1d ago
i’m basically the same but i don’t do it as close
i hold my pens or pencils so hard sometimes my fingers will go like red 🤦
94
u/Uiscefhuaraithe-9486 1d ago
I have permanent callouses on my middle finger from writing so hard lol
23
u/D0G0RA 1d ago
This is life affirming - came here to ask if anyone else has that permanent knob on their writing hand's middle finger
→ More replies (1)9
16
u/Consistent_Wallaby73 Autistic 1d ago
i don’t write as much anymore but when i did i would get SO MANY
10
10
10
2
2
→ More replies (6)2
→ More replies (2)6
u/thenormaluserrname Suspecting ASD & ADHD 1d ago
i hold the pencil normally but i press way harder than most people. i remember as a kid i'd look at my handwriting vs my classmates' handwriting and my handwriting would be noticeably darker in color, even though we used the same pencils. i actually remember one time i was writing and one of my classmates was sitting next to me and he started complaining because the sound of me writing was too loud. and it's true, i do write loudly, probably due to how hard i press
78
u/maladicta228 1d ago
Just a heads up, you’re most likely hyperextending your finger joints. Hypermobility disorders are often comorbid with autism, I don’t think people know why. If it doesn’t hurt you then no worries, but it may start to as you get older. Look into swanneck ring splints if it gets worse or y shaped pens.
22
u/Lets-B-Lets-B-Jolly 1d ago
This. I have EDS/LDS and have always held my pens and pencils this way. It's overcorrection due to loose joints.
9
u/DonutWhole9717 1d ago
Came to say this. I'm loosey goosey too and it took a lot of work to realize when I was hurting myself
→ More replies (3)4
u/Technical-Earth3435 1d ago
Yep, I have started using pencil grips to help. Big fat ones so my finger, thumb and hand don't hurt
57
u/LordCookieGamingBE ASD Level 2 1d ago
Yes,and then writing makes your whole hand hurt
7
u/ZenythhtyneZ Neurodivergent 1d ago
This so why they care so much about how you write tho lol I couldn’t get through a worksheet if I held my pencil this way, I still will get to this point if I’m not paying attention to what I’m doing, usually the pain in my fingers reminds me to fix it so I try to hold it properly for the stamina and also cause writing shouldn’t hurt
3
u/LordCookieGamingBE ASD Level 2 1d ago
I just can't hold my pen correctly. So I write slow, and after a bit, it hurts. It's very annoying, but I can't seem to teach myself how to write correctly.
56
u/Uiscefhuaraithe-9486 1d ago
My 4th grade teacher HATED me during handwriting classes lol He would always stop at me and say "you should be able to SEEE the tip of your PENS people!!!". If I hold a pen "properly" my writing looks like chicken scratch, but writing HURTS so badly no matter what lol
8
u/gravewisdom 1d ago
Same teachers always gave me shit on holding like this as well, but my cramped up little hands could not stop themselves lol.
16
u/no_bender 1d ago
I attended catholic grammar school. I remember penmanship, nuns would sneak up behind us and try to snatch the pencil out of your hand, if they thought you were holding it too tightly. I recall being sent to the principal's office more than once, for yanking my pencil back.
24
u/Wife-and-Mother Autistic Adult 1d ago
YES and they pulled me out of class for it, stuck me in special. Ed for like a year!
Made me use these stupid grip things on my pencils to hold it correctly, and it hurt, and i'm fairly certain it was the first time they told my mom I might have autism.
I can now write both ways.
→ More replies (2)
11
u/NobleVulpes Suspecting ASD 1d ago
Ive always held mine close to the end like that, and I also hold them hard. My fingers would always be sore from holding my pencil or pen too hard if I had to write for a while.
6
u/Picklekitten22 AuDHD 1d ago
My forearm is also sore. But it just feels weird to hold it any other way
7
u/TheRandomDreamer ASD Level 1 1d ago
Yesss with the grip and all. I have a bump on my fourth finger from the pressure.
2
u/poerson 1d ago
Omg same! Now that I don't write that often anymore, the bump is gone. But I had it for the longest time during my school years 🥲
→ More replies (2)
6
u/margster98 Neurodivergent 1d ago
I do this. Why do we do this? Is it a joint thing? A fine motor thing? I am perplexed
→ More replies (1)
5
u/pinkvoltage Autistic Adult 1d ago
i tuck my fingers more (idk how to describe it) but YES i hold pens/pencils very close to the tip! comfort grips are useless for me and i always get pen/marker all over my fingers 😵💫
4
u/DovahAcolyte AuDHD 1d ago
Drawing has helped with this, for me. I had to learn how to hold the pencil different and use varying pressures to get the tones I want. With time, this translated to my writing.
4
u/RunOnGasoline_ 1d ago
i hold my pens and pencils like that. i always had to move pencils grips down so i can write how i want. holding it higher feels weird. same with paint brushed.
and sorry unrelated. but are you wearing holo taco??
3
4
u/-jellyfishparty- 1d ago
I did when I was a kid, but my mom made me change because it gave me callouses. So now I rest it on my middle finger. But now my cuticle is perpetually fucked up. I'd rather have the callous but it's been so long that now it feels unnatural to rest it on my ring finger.
Edit: I also death grip my pencils lol
3
u/Upsideduckery 1d ago
Ah yes, the finger callouses! I don't hold them like that but I do hold them too hard.
And I really like your nails.
3
u/Leather-Split5789 1d ago
Omg yes!! I'm also left handed, so I thought it was just a quirky south paw thing. Also, holding it the "proper' way hurt.
3
u/Spiritual-Ant839 1d ago
Elhers danlos had me gripping my pens as if they was gunna be running from me
2
3
2
2
u/Personal-Amoeba 1d ago
I have carpal tunnel from chronic over-gripping. If you find yourself holding things hard all the time, try to ease up before you damage your hands
2
u/Y0L0theYeti 1d ago
Frick maybe not that close but yes always hold whatever I'm writing with too hard.
2
u/Justice_Prince cool ranch autism 1d ago
I can't be trusted around crayons
2
u/Thetoadmyster Autistic 1d ago
this !!! i break them all in half :( so sad cos i love crayons
→ More replies (1)
2
1
u/Professional_Owl7826 high functioning autistic 1d ago
I had to go and grab a pencil to check 😂😂
Answer: not quite as close, but I do hold the pencil tightly and push down on the page quite hard
1
u/Lookingupatthestars 1d ago
I did as a kid - really heavy writing too. Now it hurts my fingers 🤷🏻♀️
1
u/LittleNarwal 1d ago
I hold mine the “proper” way that I was taught in school, but still have terrible handwriting :(
1
u/Plenty-Willingness58 ASD 1d ago
I hold my pens/pencils fairly regularly but I push down on the paper so hard I warp it, like the ends curl up and I have to flatten it out every few lines
1
u/lawlliets 1d ago
I do, most of the time 💔 I had to learn to not grip it so hard to draw and now I really don’t hold it so tightly like that, and when I write faster I also don’t hold it so hard, but most of the time I have a grip like that lol
1
u/groundzer0s 1d ago
I hold my pencils/pens the "correct way" but my grip is a bit intense so I have this hard line of tissue down the right side of my index fingertip. I'm an artist so years of doing traditional artwork before having access to digital options did that. If I loosen my grip at all my writing gets super messy and I hate messy handwriting so I just deal with the arthritis whenever I write for the sake of neatness.
1
1
u/Commercial-Story5354 1d ago
I did as a young kid. But my mother had beautiful handwriting and expected me to have same, and hold a pencil the ‘correct way’. So anytime I had to write anything outside of school she’d have to watch me do it and yell and belittle me every second of the way. I have beautiful penmanship now, but we haven’t been in contact for over 5 years.
1
u/Gaymer7437 1d ago
I have plastic ring splints for my fingers so they don't bend backwards like yours are. It caused me a lot of hand pain and I quit playing guitar because the pain of my fingers going backwards pressing strings.
1
1
1
1
u/messeduptempo 1d ago
Yep. And my right hand is fucked now I'm 40. I came from a school where the teachers slapped your hands with rulers if you weren't holding your pencil properly, so I just got slapped a lot.
1
u/Double_Perception763 1d ago
Me!!! But I have ADHD. It probably stems from me pursuing art at a super young age and my much smaller then hands couldn’t fully grasp it with only 3 fingers
1
u/SirDoodThe1st 1d ago
I hold it really hard but not like this, when i hold it near the pencil point my fingers hurt really bad after some sustained writing
1
1
u/Pristine_Wait_1982 1d ago
Same here - gripping the pen too tightly and pressing too hard on the paper. When I'm deeply focused, it gets so intense that I end up with headaches and signs of carpal tunnel...
1
u/Mocha_Chilled Self-Diagnosed 1d ago
I used to but my kindergarten teacher stopped it from getting so bad 😔
1
1
u/offendedmelon 1d ago
I actually was looking at my hand writing the other day going this shouldn't be so sore, tried like every other way I could think of holding the pen to write but it felt wrong so I'm trying to be more mindful of the amount of pressure I use from now onwards.
1
1
1
u/snow-mammal AuDHD L/MSN 1d ago
Exactly how I hold it! I also hold it very hard I have a callous on one of my fingers from it and I got in trouble in school a lot for pressing too hard on the page when I wrote. I love drawing and a friend in high school used to criticise me for sketching with too heavy lines. ADHD dad does the exact same thing, but then again, he taught be how to write in the first place. He’s an artist, too.
1
u/HollowSaintz 1d ago
I used to do that before I was corrected.
Damn all the dots are connecting, it all makes sense.
1
1
u/dongless08 Undiagnosed 1d ago
Yes my hand looks almost exactly the same while using a pencil, just a bit higher up on it
1
u/Immediate_Profit_344 1d ago
Is this an autistic thing? I thought I was just weird. I hold mine slightly higher but not by much, and that's only because school drilled it into me.
1
1
1
1
u/cascadiababe Autistic 1d ago
I also hold writing utensils very hard. I have broken many a crayons and even some wooden pencils because of that. I attribute my inability to know how much pressure to apply when using certain tasks to dyspraxia.
1
u/Miserable_Steak_7915 1d ago
i hold it the exact same way but if i use pencils i hold em too hard(maybe because of the friction) but with pens, i don’t so, im better with pens. it’s not like i have a nice handwriting; its very scribbly and small if im in the flow but its fast.
1
u/ihopethatdogeatsurgf 1d ago
I hold it so hard oh my god. Especially when I’m holding my gel pens when doing my doodles. I’ll get very focused and after a while I’ll realize how intensely I’ve been gripping the pen and also tensing my entire body lol
1
1
u/deep-fried-fuck 1d ago
Not close to the point, but my fingers bend like that and it hurts the shit out of my hands. Turns out I have hypermobile fingers and your fingers aren’t supposed to bend backwards or collapse on themselves.
1
1
1
1
u/MOMALINAwastaken 1d ago
Yes! I've had to teach myself to stop doing it because my hand would hurt from pressing it super hard.
1
1
1
u/MiserableQuit828 Autism Lvl 1-Raising Lvl 1 & 2 1d ago
I don't hold it close to the point like that. I do know that I do it the "wrong" way apparently. I got in trouble CONSTANTLY in elementary for how I held my pencil and was forced to hold it the "correct" way.
The utter JOY I felt in middle school where no one corrected my pen holding! I also didn't have to write in cursive anymore and never did so again except my signature. Great liberating times for my autistic ass lol
1
u/poodlefanatic 1d ago
Same. Close but not as close as you hold it. Used to get in trouble for it in elementary school. And had calluses in places others didn't because of it way I write.
I actually have some issues writing as an adult BECAUSE I always hold pens and such so hard. Causes hand and wrist pain. No idea how I dealt with it in school other than I had young joints instead of old lady joints. Tbf I'm not that old but my joints are garbage for my age. Despite my best efforts to work on the grip strength thing over the years, I'm not even aware of how hard I'm holding pens until the pain starts in.
1
u/jupiter_surf Autistic Adult 1d ago
I don't hold pens or pencils that way, but I do hold them very hard and it ends up hurting after a while 😂 I'm just glad I don't write often in that format
1
1
u/fireinyourkitchen 1d ago
I hate using pencil or pens. I death grip without realizing and get marks on my fingers from holding it so hard. I paint a lot and find that I don't hold the brush very hard, it feels a lot better and softer.
1
u/grass_and_dirt 1d ago
No but I do hold it differently then they tried to teach me. And super hard. I'm very heavy handed when I write and my hand gets sore after a few minutes
1
u/Legal_Rain4363 1d ago
I write like that too. Also I like my paper on a certain angle… so satisfying.
1
1
1
u/Tackling_problems High functioning autism 1d ago
My middle finger still has the callous(?) From holding my pencil too hard
1
u/Pakayaro 1d ago
I used to, but at some point in high school I started using .05 micron pens and mechanical pencils to fuck with my teachers. Thats how I learned to hold my pencils a bit further back.
1
1
u/Relevant-Rooster-298 1d ago
Fairly close to that and it kills my hand writing so I have to take a lot of breaks and remind myself to ease up.
1
u/Lesbianfool ASD lvl1 ADHD 1d ago
I can’t use pencils, the sound and feeling is too much. I use pens but my handwriting is absolutely awful at this point because I try to avoid writing
1
u/radiakmoln 1d ago
I used to do that but it fucked my hand up so bad I had to relearn how to hold it..... less intense
1
1
u/LoadsDroppin 1d ago
You press hard too? My hand is so fatigued after writing for extended periods of time because of my pressure. I’ve tried to learn to relax it but it’s like I’m unable to
1
u/racoonplantmom 1d ago
Oh my god, the first time I am seeing someone else with this pencil grasp. What a day. Tho, I'm training to get a dynamic pencil grasp
1
u/Jade_410 ASD Low Support Needs 1d ago
I hated pencils as a whole, but I did hold it similar to this, abut higher because I had really long nails and the feeling of them touching the paper made me wanna scream
1
1
u/KairaSuperSayan93 AuDHD 1d ago
Not as close to the point but yes
This is a picture of how I hold my apple pencil in my dominant hand. If I'm not actively using it on my iPad I'll often hold it in my left hand instead.
1
u/ChaoticButters autistic and totally speaks to dead people 1d ago
I have never seen someone hold their pencil that close to the point before and it makes me wonder how their hand doesn’t hurt after a short period of time after holding it like that..
1
u/NondenominationalLog 1d ago
I hold mine kinda low too but I also put the pencil between my pointer and middle finger. Like the pencil sits in the fingercrotch area? Idk how else to describe it 😅 I don’t remember struggling with pencil grip when I was little but I also had hyperlexia and loved drawing from a young age so I think I just had been taught at home before entering public school in Kindergarten which might have helped. I also have hEDS so I actually started doing the modified grip in HS because I was having a lot of hand and wrist pain from writing essays and taking notes. I exclusively use this grip now, even for drawing. In my 30s so been at it awhile, no going back now
1
1
1
1
1
u/AxoplDev 1d ago
No, but I do hold it between my middle and ring finger, wich a lot of people say it's weird
1
1
1
1
u/spoonfedninja 1d ago
Whoa, those fingernails are cool. And yes, I switch to that style once in a while when I get antsy with the standard style of holding a pencil.
1
u/happyandveg High functioning autism 1d ago
yup, also on the ring finger!! big ass callouses and i try to put less pressure but it just doesn’t work like that
1
u/themixiepixii 1d ago
Do ur nails touch the paper?? It would drive me insane. I hold it like 1-2 inches above the zigzag
3
1
u/Bocksford Asperger's 1d ago
Nope! I’ve always had a relaxed grip. Really helps as a landscape designer.
1
1
u/TheDivine_MissN 1d ago
Not quite to the very tip, but I do hold my writing implements very hard like that.
1
1
u/6alexandria9 1d ago
I hold it similar but higher up on the pencil than that. I use all my fingers on it too, though. Whenever I try holding it in my left hand, I naturally hold it correct which is super weird to me, I wonder if I was supposed to left handed
→ More replies (1)
1
1
u/chelseeyuhh7 1d ago
Wait same. It literally feels wrong if I hold it any differently. I hold the pencil so hard that I had a callous on my middle finger for my entire life lmao
1
1
u/yesindeedysir 1d ago
Every day I find out that my traits are the autism doing it’s magic not just random quirks that exist for no reason.
1
u/Peace-out13 1d ago
That's exactly how I hold my pencil and would frustrate the teachers when I was in school. I have very nice penmanship, so whateves. lol.
1
1
1
u/Tra1nGuy “Mild” autism | 16M | I LIKE TRAINS 1d ago
Yes and it hurts. For some reason I don’t do it with mechanical pencils though.
1
u/ILoveYouZim High functioning autism 1d ago
FR but I always get told/corrected if I don’t hold it like that and people won’t teach me my subjects until I hold my pencil like that -_-
1
1
u/judyhops95 Suspecting ASD 1d ago
I have a permanent callus on my middle finger from pushing pencils into it. It has gotten smaller since I typed more in college, but is still there.
1
u/actualkon AuDHD 1d ago
Yes oh my god. And I can't hold chopsticks cause every time someone says hold it like a pencil I'm like ?????
1
u/Christinenoone135 1d ago
I hold my pencils in all kinds of ways it's insane probably why my writing is so inconsistent. someone would never know if the writing was mine bc I like to switch between different fonts and cursive and if I'm writing anonymously I write purposely not like me so no one would know.
1
u/LiteralPersson Autistic Adult 1d ago
I am 33 and don’t write a whole lot and I still have a permanent bump on my ring finger from holding it this way too hard growing up in school lol
1
u/honest_laughter 1d ago
I hold my pencil nearly exactly like this! The only difference is that I keep the pencil against my ring finger’s joint instead of the nail. I’ve had a callous on my ring finger since elementary school and when my nails get long I always end up with graphite under my middle finger’s nail. The only time before now that I’ve seen anyone hold it remotely the same was in a short scene of Pretty Little Liars that showed Hanna writing
1
1
u/LIllianaRomanoff 1d ago
I hold my pens and pencils almost the same exact way. My hands always end up stained with ink because of how close my hand is to the paper
1
1
u/AdvantageWilling6733 1d ago
I always hold my pencils and pens like that. Not that close, but like, right where the tapering of the pen/pencil begins
1
u/Axelgobuzzzz AuDHD 1d ago
I i never realized that i hold it close to the tip till now, the only strange thing ive noticed about my pencil holding is that just the way i hold it is considered "strange" cause u hold it between my pointer and middle finger
1
u/Pale_Yesterday_1269 1d ago
I hold my pencil a little farther back than that but I hold it SO HARD my hand cramps easily. I also press quite firmly.
1
1
u/Criminal_Opossum 1d ago
I did up until college and of course my childhood neurotypical "best friend" mde fun of me for it
1
u/Intelligent_Mind_685 Autistic Adult 1d ago
Yes. Just like yours but not so close to the tip. High school and college were painful if I had to do too much writing. I’m a programmer now, so that worked out in my favor.
I’ve had teachers comment on my bad hand writing and not understand why I can’t do better. They think I’m just being lazy, but I try as hard as I can. I frequently get a lurch or spasm or something and my hand writes the wrong letter. Like turns an “a” into a “d” by going too far up, that kind of thing.
Also, your nails look awesome!
1
u/AllMyBeets 1d ago
It's a condition of poor proprioception and slack ligaments. If you have issues of holding your pencil or pen so tight your hand starts to cramp up it might be a good sign for you to do finger exercises and desensitization. Something as simple as sticking your hand and pinching rice can strengthen hands improve sensation and reduce desire to grip your pens like they're going to leave you like your ex.
1
1
1
u/luckyme1123 1d ago
Exactly like this. I hold it so hard I constantly get marks and indentations on my finger.
1
u/Ajatusvapaa 1d ago
Not quite. I hold pencil on my fist, so that the pencil goes above ringfinger and pinky. But holding it hard, that there is now bend where the pencil usually rests..
Similar with crochet hook, I hold it with full fist, instead of the 'correct' hold.
Heard lot of shit from both from school and those who have tried to teach the 'correct way'.
1
u/Ultrawenis 1d ago
I've realized the way I grip things my entire life has been developed on the stragety of trying to minimize the pain I feel from my ingrown and impacted fingernails. Super fun. I've realized I don't take my time to write legibly, because I'm so focused on getting the words down so the pain can end.
Guess how I walk.
1
1
1
u/shecallsmeherangel 23F| LESBIAN|ASD 1d ago
I hold it like that with my right hand, but when I write left handed, I prop it on my ring finger.
1
u/ahhibadi Suspecting ASD 1d ago
Unrelated, but i love your nail polish! 😁 I have one that's similar but looks kinda like a galaxy (the glitter represents the stars)
1
1
u/DifficultSun348 1d ago
I'm basically a pen holding weirdo.
Something like that, but the ring finger is like a middle and index finger.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/DocClear ASD1 absent minded professor and nudist 1d ago
my fingernails don't turn black and sparkly like that.
1
u/Olive_DeerFox 1d ago
I used to get burning shoulder pain on my dominant side…probably because i death-grip my pencils 😭
1
u/TheMarahProject23 1d ago
I've always held writing utensils in a fist. People have tried to correct this with various means, but nothing ever stuck.
1
u/Shallot_greenage Autism & neurodiverse 1d ago
Yes! I remember them teaching us at school to write with a 'dynamic tripod' grip. I just found that really uncomfortable and I couldn't write well like that, I felt more comfortable (and still do feel more comfortable) writing with my usual grip (very similar to the grip in the photo). Although, I can't handwrite for very long or very well either 😅 my handwriting isn't the most legible and it gets worse the longer I write. Writing becomes painful very quickly for me, which I find a shame because I enjoy the act of writing. But at the end of the day, I don't understand why schools force you to write with a certain grip because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. If you can write more comfortably or more legibly with an alternative grip to the more preferred one, that's all that really matters. I don't even have to handwrite that much anymore anyway, it was determined fairly quickly during secondary school that any exams I did would be typed rather than handwritten (except for maths and bits of sciences where it's more difficult/awkward to type formulas and show your working).
1
u/Thetoadmyster Autistic 1d ago
i hold pens and pencils so hard it hurts and i would get indents on my hands , ive always hated hand writing and my hand writing is terrible too
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Hey /u/Picklekitten22, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found here. All approved posts get this message.
Thanks!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.