Idk I just need to rant somewhere. My entire support system is my mom. I have govt disability supports but they aren't stable, there are funding cuts constantly and with the way it's currently looking, Autism of any level without a comorbid ID might be removed entirely.

So I spend a lot of time worrying about how I'll survive if my mom dies. I can't seem to see any possible choices within my control beyond whether I die slowly or quickly. I'm so scared. She's only 61, but that doesn't mean much to me. Her dad died at 45 and my dad's mom died at 66. And even if my mom lived to 100, age doesn't cure Autism and I'll still need support at 65. But at 100 my mom would need support too. All she has is me. How am I going to support her when I need that support myself?

People say I talk about politics too much but tbh it's cause that's where my only hope for the future lies, if that makes sense. How else will I survive without help from others? And how can I get help from others in a system that prioritises looking out for no one but yourself? I hate how much of my future is out of my control and I hate that I NEED to rely on others. I want to blame myself because then the solutions are within my control, but if I'm at fault the solutions also become limited and overall unpleasant. If I blame things like capitalism, society, oppression, the west, whatever, then the solutions become more broad and hopeful, but far less within my direct control.

Maybe/hopefully I'll learn more coping mechanisms and eventually grow a support network even within the limitations placed on me, but damn that seems difficult and unlikely. You have to know that I only feel confident in my fears because I'm also now in the best position I've ever been in. I have everything my country has to offer people like me (disability pension, social housing, medication) and it's still so unstable. It could be taken away at any moment (and has been in the past), and that knowledge is ALWAYS hanging over my head. If I didn't have my mom, I never would've been able to get even those basic supports in the first place.

Does anyone else have this fear? I've heard it's common for disabled people but we don't seem to say it out loud a lot. But thanks for letting me vent either way 😊

I have always deeply resonated with Lisbeth Salander from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo books (Millennium series). I don't have her external personality: my trauma-informed autism turned me into the 'walk up to strangers and decide they are trustworthy' kind of person. It's actually terrifying and the only reason I'm 'allowed' to wander around unsupervised is because my computer skills earn me paying jobs from people who typically just kind of let me do what I do in whatever way I do it without being bothered - like the character Lisbeth.

I resonated with her in this way, because she was obviously disabled in the same ways I knew myself to be disabled (complete with hanging around punks who had poor hygiene and couldn't care for themselves to disguise her own day-to-day dysfunctions), and she enjoyed the same social freedoms I did because of her ability to hold a job. I think she acted for a lot of us when she liberated herself from her abusive legal guardian.

I liked that she didn't care about following social rules. I had always been so scared of myself, and felt I was fundamentally to blame for what happened to me because I couldn't really process anything until some other time, and Lisbeth's character felt like the antidote to that. I loved that she let people dislike her, that she stood up for herself and other people, I loved that she wasn't always trying to give people the benefit of the doubt. I resonated with her ability to get herself out of unbelievably stressful scrapes because of her resourcefulness and intelligence - and also with her tendency to get herself into those scrapes in the first place for reasons that wouldn't be a problem for 'normal' people.

She was my absolute hero, in my early 20s, long before I had even begun to process the trauma of my own upbringing, or had ever heard the term PTSD outside of a military veterans' context, or knew fuck-all about myself or life or anything. She felt like the strong version of me. I've been thinking a lot about her lately.

Hello there again frens, and hope you're all good.

We're just here again to let you know that we have a fun safe-space discord server for ND people of all support needs to hang out and chat and game, plus lots of fun giveaways (including nitro and steam games) and a stupid smart mouthed bot. Lots of fun movie and anime watch parties too. More fun emoji than you can shake a huge stick at.

If you're bored and you're on discord come check us out.

Hope to see you there frens

https://discord.gg/autis-place

So, I self published a book in February. It is a fiction based on my experience trying to find and keep support workers. I wasn’t sure what groups I can promote or share my book but I feel this topic would apply since the majority of people in this group need help and support in their daily lives and would probably relate to this book. I wanted to write a book that I felt was an accurate portrayal of what someone with moderate support needs goes through and how she feels that she isn’t disabled enough to get help. Here is a link to my book in case you want to check it out:

https://www.amazon.com/Revolving-Door-Untold-Disability-Support/dp/1977270549

I don't really enjoy series like South Park and Family Guy. I'm very sensitive to the inappropriate stuff in those shows and a lot of the stuff in adult shows go over my head. I prefer preschool shows because they have a more playful feel to them and they feel more colorful

Having special needs autism, I had a hell of a time completing classes in that school. The college prides itself on being accommodating to minorities of different colors, religions, ethnicities, creeds, and physical disabilities. However, they are NOT accommodating to adults with certain neurodivergent conditions and mental disabilities. Their actual behavior runs contrary to their mission statement of being "dedicated to the needs of all students, including those with physical and mental disabilities."

I have level 2 autism, and I was repeatedly gaslit by teachers, faculty, and staff. No, not every tutor and teacher, but a good majority of them. Once I got out, I wrote their president and dean a couple of formal complaints about the treatment of neurodiverse students. Please know that I was very polite and courteous in conveying my thoughts. In return, I received a total dismissal of my letter and multiple excuses for the staff's poor behavior. I was very pissed off and walked away from the situation for a couple of years.

Well, 2 years later, I'm getting to know a couple of neurodiverse co-workers at my workplace, and they are having an even WORSE experience with ableism at the community college. One of them wrote a complaint letter, only to be ignored. This really angers me.

If we can't write letters to the local college leaders, then who should we turn to with our grievances? What civil rights organizations will take us seriously and go toe-to-toe with ableism?

EDIT: I must write an anonymous letter for myself and others. I cannot give away my name and address because I fear reprisal. By the way, I live in a small town.

NOTE: I'm a US resident in Washington.

Hi, I was wondering if anyone here has interests that others would perceive as childish. I like Bluey, Hello Kitty, Disney Princess, Mickey Mouse, paw patrol and unicorns and other childlike stuff.

I am a 32 year old early diagnosed autistic woman who would possibly be classified as level 2 based on the current DSM V criteria. I never felt like my experience was adequately reflected in the autistic self advocacy movement. I am somewhere between the low support autistic that is relatively independent and the high support individual who struggles with verbal communication that requires 24/7 care. There are some areas that I am independent and can be left alone for some time. However, I don’t drive and still live with my parents. I need help with grocery shopping, budgeting, cooking, doctor’s appointments and other daily living activities. With a few exceptions, I rarely leave the house without someone. I have a very limited social life and find it extremely difficult to meet new people so I need help with that. Unlike the stereotypical high masking autistic female, I did not mask my traits and stims very well. For instance, I jump up and down in public and carry fidgets as well as other stims. Because l have substantial limitations in my daily life, I receive services from a home and community based service waiver. I have a respite caregiver and a coach to help me out in the community. Unfortunately, I only receive this help two days a week because of scheduling and difficulty finding caregivers in my area.

A lot of people think I am a low support individual because I am fully verbal and don’t have an intellectual disability. This is further from the truth. Even my therapist thinks I would be considered level 2 under the current DSM V. I hate how support needs either have to fall under the high or low binary. I feel that level 2 autism is overlooked in the greater autism community. I am glad that there is a group for autistic advocates who have more support needs. I wrote a more detailed blog post about my dissatisfaction with the autistic community that I will attach here. http://redefiningnormalayoungwomansjourney.blogspot.com/2024/08/being-moderate-support-needs-and-how.html?m=1

Join us tomorrow (11/08/) at 19:00/7pm GMT +1 to watch War Horse :)

"Wherever you are, I will find you and I will bring you home."

https://discord.gg/autis-place

See you there!

This world is unsafe for me.

Hello there again frens, and glad tidings to all of you.

We're just here again to let you know that we have a fun safe-space discord server for ND people of all support needs to hang out and chat and game, plus lots of fun giveaways (including nitro and steam games) and a stupid smart mouthed bot. Lots of fun movie and anime watch parties too. More fun emoji than you can shake a huge stick at.

If you're bored and you're on discord come check us out.

Hope to see you there frens

https://discord.gg/autis-place

Hello again peeps
Just stopping by to tell you we'll be showing Cube 2 : Hypercube on our discord on Saturday August 3rd at 5pm UTC/6pm GMT+1

See y'all there <3

https://discord.gg/autis-place

So I was on the priority list for housing because of my disabilities, and I just got approved for a social housing allocation in my city. It's an eco friendly building so very low bills, and the rent is income based and has a cap below market rate. I'm so incredibly lucky to have this opportunity.

But this is where I'm starting to panic a bit... The rest of the apartment building is owner occupied, meaning it's wealthier people who have bought the apartments to live in. Only 10% is allocated for affordable housing rentals.

I know that people often want to box tick and allocate resources to unhoused and disabled people so they can feel good about themselves, but when faced with it, they don't like the reality of living with disabled people. My old apartment was full of people in the same income bracket as me, aka pensioners, and I never felt judged for my meltdowns or weed use or whatever.

Now I'm going into a fancy apartment full of rich (compared to me anyway) people, and I'm terrified that if I have a bad meltdown, they'll call the cops. Because it's very loud, lots of screaming and head banging... My regulation skills are very good these days, but I can never completely get RID of these big meltdowns no matter how hard I try. And especially after moving house, I know I'll be overwhelmed and I'll probably struggle to adjust for the first few weeks. Last time I moved I was having meltdowns almost daily for weeks as I tried to work out a new routine.

Does anyone have any tips for navigating something like this? Are there easier ways to explain my meltdowns to people who aren't used to it? I'm thinking maybe I could put a note on my door explaining things? Or would that just invite issues...

I feel so guilty for being so anxious when I know how lucky I am.

Hello again you lovely folks!
Just stopping by to tell you we'll be showing Rise of the Planet of the Apes on our discord on Saturday July 27th at 5pm UTC/6pm GMT+1

Bring your own snacks and drinks you're not having mine!

https://discord.gg/autis-place

Join us to watch The Wind Rises

Sunday at 7pm/19:00 GMT+1

https://discord.gg/aDN2JTcQ

See you there! 😊

I know according to NT women, that he is absolutely amazing and does SO much and is practically incomparable to most men with how much he does. And yet, I have a complete meltdown when he tells me he will do something and then it doesn't happen. Like he can do the other 99 things, but as soon as just one expectation of mine is unmet, I literally lose my mind. I cry for hours. I'm late to work. I go through thought loops of how he is unreliable & untrustworthy.

It happens with any unmet expectation, not just him. Something I planned to buy is sold out? Meltdown. Its not necessarily "at" anyone. Its just that I have a very hard time adapting to sudden changes in plans. So when he tells me he will take chicken out of the freezer for dinner, and doesn't... there is a meltdown.

But the disappointment turns into long term resentment. Because I rely on him to do things he says he will (like take meat out of the freezer), and when he doesn't I lose hours and hours of my life to crying & screaming into pillows (and sometimes self-harm), and then more hours to the recovery. Its exhausting. I'm not mad at him for not taking the chicken out. I'm mad that this happens so consistently that I am having meltdowns over unmet expectations 2x/week. Most of which have to do with him saying he will do something (not even something I asked for, just him stating what the plan is for something) and not doing it. That is his fault. And its damaging my mental health and I don't know what to do about it.

I feel horrible about these reactions, but I can't stop them. I've always struggled with changes in expectations my entire life - its been my #1 cause of meltdowns since I was child. And now its damaging my marriage. He always forgives me and he understands its just the autism, but I'm so tired of the exhaustion that comes with the meltdowns. I'm so tired of the emotional roller-coaster I can't get off. Any advice would be helpful <3

Come join us to watch Mary and The Witch's Flower

@7pm/19:00 GMT+1

They'll be a 45 minute music intermission before the movie starts 😊

See you there!

https://discord.com/invite/autis-place

Glad. Helpful.

Bad. Scared. Bad. Scared. Fix it? How? Scared. Bad. Angry. Scared.

I’m starting to genuinely get sick of level 1s telling me the levels don’t exist and that “you’re just autistic or you’re not”. It pisses me off. They use it to justify ableism towards higher support needs and it makes me very upset. Was I overreacting on this twitter discussion?? The fact I got ratio’d consistently makes me feel nervous that I was

Don’t harass anybody in the screenshots please or go to their profiles. I’m not sure how to censor the username. I want this discussion to stay here

This is making me very upset. They’re treating me like I’m crazy and irrational and I want to cry. Especially the Hans Asperger thing.. them saying I’m like the guy who literally wanted to fucking kill higher support needs autistics like myself. I hate them. I hate these people so much

Come join us in Auti's Place for some Pokemon fun!

See you there! 😊

https://discord.com/invite/autis-place