r/awwwtf • u/Ejack-Ulate-69 • Jul 01 '22

Bugs/Snakes Snek goes down lazy river

2.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

99 comments sorted by

116

u/autoposting_system Jul 01 '22

*goes down river lazily

100

u/chef_tuffster Jul 01 '22

Makin’ my way downtown

80

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Snakin' my way downtown

12

u/highdesk306 Jul 01 '22

this is important

7

u/Spicy_Gynaecologist Jul 02 '22

Slitherin' fast

86

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

All fun and games till the cotton mouth decides your kayak looks like a comfy log lol

38

u/callmedaddyshark Jul 01 '22

I want to put the snake on my head like a crown. it is the right shape

28

u/Astronaut_Chicken Jul 01 '22

You should not put a cotton mouth on your head, friend. They are very aggressive and easily offended. Don't reckon she'd appreciate being treated like an accessory.

28

u/callmedaddyshark Jul 01 '22

I could be Cleopatra

12

u/linderlouwho Jul 01 '22

Better asp her how that worked out.

10

u/tranifestations Jul 01 '22

It would look so good on you

1

u/SacredSpirit1337 Jul 02 '22

I wouldn’t do that if you value not being pumped full of venom.

1

u/3178333426 Sep 27 '22

Uh u mean Medusa…

2

u/callmedaddyshark Sep 27 '22

I don't

1

u/3178333426 Sep 27 '22

Don’t be an asp…

15

u/TrashMammal84 Jul 02 '22

Santee State Park, South Carolina, where my father and I would fish and explore. The best fishing was always under cover of trees. One day, going under a cypress, a cottonmouth drops into the boat. I've never seen my father move so fast to take a row, scoop the snake and toss him back into the water.

1

u/3178333426 Sep 27 '22

Massive hormone response…

2

u/ForkAKnife Jul 01 '22

Just the video made my pulse rise.

41

u/crazyabe111 Jul 01 '22

Cute pool noodle.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

That's Jesus on his yearly vacation back to Earth, he got a little inventive with the disguise.

33

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

"Hey kids, I'm just a fun floaty tube and not a dangerous predator at all. Come play with me!"

21

u/Type_DXL Jul 01 '22

He's even in the tube shape!

13

u/Maguffin42 Jul 01 '22

tube snake boogie

13

u/manhatim Jul 01 '22

Wasssssssssssup?

13

u/orange_glasse Jul 01 '22

The snake and the laugh are so perfect together

8

u/lyraeros Jul 01 '22

it must have seen kids go down the river on tubes and decided thats the easiest way to go

7

u/lilwitchofdeath666 Jul 01 '22

Awww what a cutie!! 🖤

6

u/Warboss17 Jul 01 '22

Wtf he tubin

8

u/AmiraZara Jul 01 '22

Is that a cottonmouth?

6

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Well, he's a tuber.

1

u/funkekat61 Jul 02 '22

Tubular maybe ;-)

5

u/Harpylady269 Jul 01 '22

There he gooooo

4

u/rife42 Jul 01 '22

Cmon give this goodboi a ride

1

u/Kr_Treefrog2 Jul 02 '22

This is not just a noodle boi, this is a spicy danger noodle. I don’t think they’d appreciate being scooped up into the boat

1

u/rife42 Jul 02 '22

Give the spicy boi some water

6

u/TheKingBeyondTheWaIl Jul 01 '22

My people need me

3

u/verdearts Jul 01 '22

He’s straight chillin’ my guy!

3

u/Specific-Peace Jul 01 '22

Lazy snek!❤️

3

u/Dick_Cabesa Jul 01 '22

Living its best life.

3

u/Equivalent_Ad_5109 Jul 01 '22

Orinoco flow played at the exact moment i saw this post...perfection

3

u/HyperKitsune Jul 01 '22

he just chillin

5

u/TheBigHornedGoat Jul 01 '22

Cottonmouths are super aggressive and chase people, just look at how the snake goes straight for that guy in the boat! /s

3

u/WestTexasOilman Jul 02 '22

They can be… one non-aggressive snake doesn’t mean they are all chill.

1

u/pbounds2 Jul 06 '22

Snakes aren’t really aggressive a better word is defensive. They may put on a display you think is aggressive but they’re really just terrified of you and are trying to get you to go away.

1

u/plasmaflare34 Jul 09 '22

Usually by heading straight towards you...

2

u/pbounds2 Jul 09 '22

Maybe swimming looking for something to rest on? Otherwise they don’t chase or charge you knowing you’re there skim this video if you want some proof.

1

u/plasmaflare34 Jul 10 '22

I've seen them cross rivers to charge people on the other bank several times.

2

u/pbounds2 Jul 10 '22

And I’m assuming they bit those people or chased them after they got out of the water?

1

u/plasmaflare34 Jul 10 '22

One bit the jeans of my brother once as soon as it got out of the water and was promptly shot (he was maybe 8 feet from the waters edge), and another chased my niece (past other people) until she jumped into the tailgate of a truck a good 20 yards away. In the other two cases, people just ran like hell. That's 1/2 of the encounters with them seemingly crossing a river because someone was on the other side. Much like bark scorpions, their primary defense mechanism seems to be to attack relentlessly.

1

u/pbounds2 Jul 10 '22

You wanna go ahead and send me any proof whatsoever of unprovoked cottonmouths actually chasing humans with aggression, so they can get a bite in then get killed days before the venom even kicks in? That's just not how nature works my guy.

1

u/plasmaflare34 Jul 10 '22

Yeah, let me just set up a camera every week when my family and I go fishing for another 4 decades. I'll get right on that... Nature doesn't follow logic. It follows the path of most gains. If a species is known for being aggressive, it gets avoided in the future. That helps the species. I've also seen a few snakes that aren't venomous charge at people as a bluff, it's written into their DNA to pretend to be one of the dangerous ones. It's a survival strategy.

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2

u/MkeBucksMarkPope Jul 01 '22

Must be some way to hunt, or not be hunted. Definitely some form of the two, and not that he/she’s just floating down the river lol.

2

u/xXProGenji420Xx Jul 06 '22

it's neither of the proposals you made, it really is just getting around in an energy efficient way lol

2

u/Cat_in_a_blanket Jul 01 '22

That snake's game was lagging

2

u/LadyStardust79 Jul 01 '22

Almost looks like Stargazing Syndrome.

2

u/OnyxLion528 Jul 01 '22

The cutest floater

2

u/VinnaynayMane Jul 01 '22

🎼They see me floating 🎶

2

u/CheesyPants3 Jul 01 '22

I don’t think there’s any “TF” here. He just vibin my guy

2

u/ithadtobeducks Jul 01 '22

I didn’t even know snakes COULD float.

2

u/IdealMute Jul 02 '22

I love how chill cottonmouths are. Yes, they can and will mess you up, but 90% of the time, they're just lazing around.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

DEJA VU

1

u/Ejack-Ulate-69 Jul 02 '22

I have gone to this place before

0

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

This isn't even worth the tf

7

u/Ejack-Ulate-69 Jul 01 '22

Yeah I wouldn't recommend people to get too close, but if you don't provoke you're probably gonna be fine

3

u/tranifestations Jul 01 '22

Welllll… it is a cottonmouth so….

1

u/okkopantroglodytes Jul 01 '22

Nothing to ssssee here.

1

u/FeculentUtopia Jul 01 '22

Snake be toobin'

1

u/braiden08second Jul 01 '22

This is what happens when your playing a multiplayer game and you connection goes out

1

u/rusty___shacklef0rd Jul 02 '22

Bye buddy hope you find your dad

1

u/NoMamesMijito Jul 02 '22

Snake’s like “what, bitch? You do it with a beer in your hand!”

1

u/Enby_Bluejay Jul 02 '22

He just vibin, leave him alone

1

u/Dr_Cunning_Linguist Jul 02 '22

Anyone have a source? Reddit seems to only play promotional ads w/o asking but this just keeps black at the start of the vid

1

u/ChrizTaylor Jul 02 '22

That's definitely a lazy river.

1

u/Abject_Dinner2893 Jul 07 '22

Poison noodle !!!!!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '22

Forbidden pool noodle

1

u/GeorgeThe13th Sep 08 '22

Oh to be a snake, going down a lazy river.