r/blackcats • u/Lopsided_Stuff_8231 • Feb 04 '25
Mourning UPDATE: Poe
Hi guys! I’m currently sitting in the vets office. Poe passed away during the night. Thank you to everyone who wished Poe well and donated to help him. I’m having a hard time accepting that this happened bc I feel like this is all my fault. I should’ve done the surgery even though I had no money. I shouldve taken him to an emergency vet when I saw he had thrown up twice on a medicine that stops vomiting. I was just scared of the cost when I can barely afford normal vet costs.
P.s. sorry for all the snapchat captions lol and the last photo was from the day I got him
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u/Klutzy_Carpenter_289 Feb 04 '25
I’m so very sorry. I lost a void kitten to FIP & beat myself up about it. I still cry occasionally when I think of him. I take some solace in that we gave him a good home for a short while & he was very loved. You should too.
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u/Lopsided_Stuff_8231 Feb 04 '25
It’s definitely gonna take me some time to get somewhat past this. I keep looking at my other girls that are also all black and I keep thinking they’re him. I’ve gone through the grieving process of a pet before and it hurts all over again. I miss his little fuzzy twerpy head
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u/squeakylemons Feb 04 '25
I also lost a lil void to FIP. It's hard for us because we know they could live longer, but for them, they lived a full, happy life, even if they were sick for a bit. Even though you had him for a short time, in that time all he knew was love. It's easy to look back and see where you could've missed the signs, all of the 'what ifs'. But look back and see all the love you gave each other, the impact you had on his life, and the impact he had on yours. Hug you other babies close, and enjoy the times you had together ❤️
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u/PossibleLettuce42 Feb 04 '25
Sometimes we want to blame ourselves because it can be easier than confronting that bad things happen. But it’s not healthy. You’re carrying weight that is not yours to carry. Countless amazing and kind pet owners have lost their babies due to random issues.
You loved your kitty and did your best. You provided kindness in a world with much cruelty. Don’t hold yourself to more than that. Find another creature that needs love and love it. That’s always the answer.
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u/Lopsided_Stuff_8231 Feb 04 '25
Thank you. I really needed that ❤️
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u/PossibleLettuce42 Feb 04 '25
You’re welcome. I know the pain. I’ve been there. I’m scared of the next time I lose my baby, and I’ll be scared the next time too. But the pure love between those times is the stuff that makes a life truly a life.
I went all the years between 18 and 32 without a pet because I was so torn up from losing a black lab. But when I got my black kitty at 32 I realized that not giving an animal a home and love when I could was an even worse, if quieter, loss.
Feel your pain. No shame in it. But it really wasn’t your fault. All the hugs.
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u/Mrkvica16 Feb 04 '25
Thank you for this. We lost our wonderful Mister Princess Wonderful more than 4 years ago and I still feel guilty and it’s been so hard. We’ve given a lovely home to another sweet cat since, but it’s still been such a heaviness to carry.
I think your words have helped a bit.
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u/PossibleLettuce42 Feb 04 '25 edited Feb 04 '25
I am glad to hear it. I have unfortunately known several friends and family members - not to mention myself - who lost pets early. It’s something that can happen to anyone who opens their home to these little guys. They were always going to live shorter lives than us. It’s the price we pay for the ticket. But the ride is so worth it. I bet Mister Princess Wonderful had a great life with you and felt so loved. The fact that you still care so much all this time later proves it.
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u/scummy_shower_stall Feb 04 '25
Oh, I'm so very sad to hear about your poor boy. I don't have any words, I'm just so sad for you. I hope the vets can give you answers. 😢
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u/d69f Feb 04 '25
It seems like you were in a really tough situation so I wouldn't be too hard on yourself for this tragic turn of events. You obviously cared and tried your best. That's all you can ask of yourself.
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u/Lopsided_Stuff_8231 Feb 04 '25
I start to believe that until I think about all the other possibilities that could’ve happened. Thank you tho❤️
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u/HeatherMason0 Feb 04 '25
This isn't your fault OP. You loved him so much, and he knew that. Sometimes there just isn't anything you can do for them without losing your housing or not being able to afford food, and that's not a great life for your cat either.
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u/Chaoticist523 Feb 04 '25
Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I've been there, my first cat, Spooky-pie, fell wrong after I had seven years with him, didn't make it to the emergency vet. It hurts. But he knew he was loved, and so did Poe. That's what's important. And at the end of things, he'll be waiting for you in the Summerlands, curled up in a sunbeam, and you'll give him all the love he missed out on over the years. The end isn't forever, it's just...goodbye for now.
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u/Comprehensive_Type81 Feb 04 '25
Im so sorry for your loss. You were in a situation I wouldn’t wish on anyone who is responsible for another living being (be it another human or animal etc). I saw your post from yesterday when I woke up and really hoped you’d be able to get him in on time. He had a loving home with you and that is more than most cats have.
Just know that guilt is part of grieving. Whether you would have had the money to take him and he still passed you’d still feel guilt. I unexpectedly lost a beloved cat in September and money was not a factor for us thankfully. We spent a lot of money at the er vet hoping to save him. I still felt so much guilt and questioned if I took too long to notice his (super fast) decline or where I went wrong that led to him getting sick and dying. Beat myself up for it relentlessly for months.
You did the best you could with what you had available. Pet emergencies are not cheap. If you are financially able to, I would highly recommend putting some money in your savings for pet emergencies as they will pop up as part of life. And even if it’s not a lot, it will help if/when you need it.
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u/fuschia_taco Feb 04 '25 edited Feb 04 '25
This is so incredibly true.
I had a cat with bladder stone issues throughout his whole life. It ended up killing him when he was 10. Now here's the kicker. I didn't know he had those issues till he was dead and I kept seeing the posts over the years popping up in my memories on FB. 2 or 3 years after he died, it finally clicked. Guilt was renewed.
We spent something like $2500 to try and save him, surgery and everything but he still died at home, alone. That was the worst part was that he was by himself. I will never get over that.
You did the best you could op.
Edit: when I say I didn't know, I mean I didn't put it together till then. We took him to the vets each time it happened but I didn't notice a pattern till fb memories and he was already dead by the time I recognized the pattern.
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u/Lopsided_Stuff_8231 Feb 04 '25
That’s the only thing making me feel somewhat better. He declined fast out of nowhere, I thought it was simple food poisoning and hoped it would pass, and it seems each route was very risky. Thank you ❤️❤️
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u/midas-salome Feb 04 '25
I have to beg mine to show me any kind of attention. He only loves me in the middle of the night.
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u/No_Extreme_2421 Feb 04 '25
I’m so sorry. Don’t blame yourself. We all do our best with what we had. I’ve been in your shoes it is not fun, but remember you gave him so much love, a home and he will always be with you. You gave him everything you had. This life is an illusion really. You will see him again. Blessings!
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u/Jerm-On-Reddit Feb 04 '25
We are all out here just trying our best. You're just doing the same. You loved your friend until the very end, and they had a wonderful life with you. I lost my void to cancer in October and I still cry. He meant so much to me, and it's so very hard with him not here. It's hard not to second guess yourself, however you did the right thing.
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u/Lopsided_Stuff_8231 Feb 04 '25
I lost my big boy Miles, a big Australian Shepherd, to cancer. Chemo wasn’t enough and eventually it spread to his brain and made him the opposite of what he used to be. If I’m awake long enough at night, then I find myself thinking of him and crying all over again. ❤️❤️
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u/Jerm-On-Reddit Feb 04 '25
I feel that....I really wish my Moglee was still here. However, his personality started to change a bit towards the end. His discomfort made him distant, and he was never like that. I beat myself up sometimes, wishing I would have done more to give him more time. However, their lives are just so much shorter than ours, and we have a responsibility to them to do what's best for them. It's hard not to cry and miss them terribly, but we did our best. You're never alone in your pain, and I hope nothing but the best for you 💯❤️
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u/SisterNamedDingo Feb 04 '25
It is so hard with these little ones who get into things they shouldn’t. It’s almost impossible to entirely cat proof a house against them. Poe was very cute- so sorry to hear that he passed. Hugs to you
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u/Lopsided_Stuff_8231 Feb 04 '25
He was definitely a trash cat that I’m sure had pica from all the weird things he insisted were food for him ❤️
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u/Lopsided_Stuff_8231 Feb 04 '25 edited Feb 05 '25
Edit: I was shown the x-ray of what was doing the most damage and I believe it was a tab from a cat food can. Idk how he managed to swallow something that large (if that’s what it truly is).
NEW EDIT: my friend happens to work at that vet (she’s also the same one who introduced me to Poe) and I asked about doing a kitty autopsy to find out what the object was. She texted back asking for my permission, I gave it, and she immediately sent me a video of the object. My mom was gifted a leg massager for Christmas and turns out he had an interest in the chords and swallowed a massive chunk. There was no way he could ever pass that without surgery. I’m relieved to know what it was, but now I’m more angry at the situation. This was so preventable. Except being angry or having any emotion other than grieving won’t bring my Poey back. I’m forever going to wish I did more to prevent this and save him. I’m forever going to wish I just did the surgery. I’m forever going to wish that machine wasn’t there. I want to take it as a learning lesson, but it makes me so sick that it cost an innocent life. I’m so sorry Poey, I really wish this wasn’t how you went and you went like normal cats do. I wish you lived to 15 yrs old and could barely walk anymore. I don’t want to eat or drink anything bc you couldn’t and it feels selfish to do it. I know this is just a grieving brain making sad thoughts and so be it. I just wish you never left. I’m glad Princess and Miles made your transition easier and showing you around the new forever park. I knew it was a sign when I heard their names the day everything fell apart. I promise I love you, Poepee.
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u/accountnumberseventy Feb 04 '25
I am so sorry for your loss.
Vet bills are expensive. And I wish there was some sort of readily available financial aid to help people through crises like these, but there isn’t. At least to the best of my knowledge.
Please accept my condolences. 🐈⬛ 🌈
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u/fuschia_taco Feb 04 '25
I'm so sorry op. I was checking before bed last night and first thing this morning really hoping for a good update.
RIP little dude. Hugging my cats extra hard today.
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u/Fe1is-Domesticus Feb 04 '25
I'm so sorry for your loss of this sweet friend. Your pics are lovely and show the love and fun there was between you.
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u/ambreenh1210 Feb 04 '25
I’m so sorry for your loss. My first cat is a black cat and he looks a lot like Poe :( If you can put some money aside for the rest of the kitties, look into getting pet insurance. They are there for these exact emergency issues :(
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u/Lopsided_Stuff_8231 Feb 05 '25
I was going to get insurance for him after this, but nvm :/ the other girls are my moms, it’s not my decision.
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u/Gilgamesh2000000 Feb 05 '25
I know the feeling and it hurts the soul. I had to put my baby down. He was young 2 1/2 years old.
Heartbreaking. One of the toughest decisions I ever had to make.
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u/FairyGodmothersUnion Feb 05 '25
Lost my first beloved black cat to FIP. I am so very sorry for the loss of Poe. Sending hugs.
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Feb 04 '25
Poe said: “Mother… you been playing this game for several hours… what game is so important than cuddling me? 🥺”
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u/3350335 Feb 04 '25
Poe was a sweetheart. Sorry for your loss.