Am I making everything harder than what is supposed to be?

[u/Char_LottaFun]

Ugh, guys, seriously. im in my first year and I'm already feeling... overwhelmed? I thought college would be all about, like, late-night pizza and epic study sessions with cool people. And yeah, there's some of that, but mostly it's just... figuring out how to adult, I guess? Like, nobody told me how hard it is to just... exist. Laundry? budgeting? Actually going to the library instead of napping? It's a lot! And classes? Forget about it. I thought I was smart in high school, but these professors are on another level. But the worst part is, I feel like I'm constantly trying to be someone else. Like, I'm trying to fit into whatever vibe I think everyone else is giving off, and I'm totally losing myself in the process. I'm pretending to like parties I don't really enjoy, and I'm trying to act like I know what I'm doing when I'm completely clueless. Does anyone else feel like this? Is this just, like, a freshman thing? Please tell me it gets better, because right now, I'm just feeling really lost and kind of lonely.

[u/mei1284]

This process of "pretending" ends up completely changing you as a human and you lose your originality. And yes this is a freshman thing, it's not like how it is in movies. I can't promise that it'll get any "better" incase you're still expecting your college life to turn like a Netflix series but you do get used to budgeting and doing laundry lol. You have to prioritise when it comes to friends groups, would you rather lose yourself to pretending or keep to yourself. I've seen half my batchmates become someone entirely else and most of these 'friendships" don't even last a year lol. In a nutshell I don't understand how stranded people are from reality (no offense) to think it's even remotely close to how college is depicted on tv screens lol

[u/Coloradical27]

It's ok to "find" yourself in college by trying new things. If you don't like something, you don't have to keep pretending, and can stop or try something else.

If you want college to be more about late night pizza and epic study sessions, organize that. I'm betting other people want that as well.

Whether it gets better is up to you. It's up to the work you put in to learning to be an adult, to making and maintaining friendships and relationships, and to whether you can learn from mistakes, reflect, adjust, and change. And it may take a while, so you might have to keep at it.

Finally, if you're struggling and need help, most colleges have counseling centers that are paid for through student fees. It might help to talk to someone, and you've already paid for it, so might as well use it if you need.

Good luck!

[u/Interesting-Gap8672]

First thing I’ll say, is take care of yourself. Make sure you are getting good rest and eating enough meals. Make sure you have down time to do things you enjoy! I strongly encourage you to not pretend to be someone else and dont do things you don’t want to do, it will only make you feel worse and more alone. You will find your people, it just might take some time. Considering joining a club or organization, it’s easier to meet people who have similar interests. If you don’t like to party and hang out with people that party, you guys probably aren’t going to be good friends. Some of my friends party, some don’t. No one pressures those who don’t wanna go and some weekends we’ll stay in and play games.

It gets easier the more you do it. It’s a HUGE adjustment. Make a weekly to do list to make it easier to manage.

Some profs are literally villains and make things WAY harder than they need to. Also, no one really knows wtf they are doing in college. I graduated HS with honors, got to college chem and felt stupid and like I shouldn’t be a STEM major then I started slowly asking around and it turns out tons of the people sitting by me were on the same exact boat, they just didn’t look like they were. Trust me when I say, no one knows what they’re doing half the time and if you are struggling in a class, odds are someone else is