r/foundsatan 8d ago

My Coworker’s Proposal to Get Movement on a Jira Request

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116 Upvotes

9 comments sorted by

20

u/Greedyfox7 8d ago

Can someone please explain just what I’m looking at? I have an idea but a solid answer to what it actually does and how evil it is would be appreciated

33

u/zerok_nyc 8d ago

It’s a simple shell script that loops from 1 to 10,000,000 and creates one Jira ticket per iteration with the summary “Random crap X.” If you actually ran it, you’d flood Jira with millions of meaningless tickets, overloading the system and likely rendering it unusable. It’s essentially a nuke option

13

u/SomeGuysFarm 8d ago

Heh - only takes a couple more lines to set it up so it rexec()s itself to all of the other nodes across the cluster, and of course, having the identical payload they'll send it right back if this node goes down...

4

u/Greedyfox7 8d ago

That’s basically what I thought it did but as I’m not a programmer I couldn’t be sure. Thanks for letting me know and yes that hilariously evil

-1

u/never_safe_for_life 8d ago

Either JIRA employs competent engineers in which case they have rate limiters in place. Or they aren't competent, at which point they'll close your account for nuking their servers. Besides being edgy funny, this bomb is a dud or blows up in your face.

1

u/zerok_nyc 8d ago

Taking this way too seriously, my dude. Of course there’s rate limiters. But it’s not that hard to still cause havoc with time.sleep and keep it just under the limit. Besides, we’re talking about Jira admins that work for the company, not actual Jira employees.

3

u/kali_nath 8d ago

Simple DoS script, beautiful 🤌