r/guitarcirclejerk • u/SnooPaintings4015 • 1d ago

If I eat elixir strings, will I become immortal?

Post image

And if i eat the elixir nanoweb, then will I become spiderman?

47 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

32 comments sorted by

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3

u/kellylaundromat 1d ago

No, but your mild dry cough will be slightly relieved.

5

u/thesnowleopardpoops 1d ago

Your toan will outlive your body by several years

2

u/Nobody_Puzzled 1d ago

Man spider

2

u/Little-Swan4931 1d ago

You’ll have PFAs in your system. Forever chemicals make you forever so yes.

2

u/penguigeddon 1d ago

If I eat Ernie's balls am I gay

2

u/lumlum56 Danielelectricity 23h ago edited 23h ago

I'm sure elixir are fine quality strings but I never buy them because it looks like condom packaging

2

u/SnooPaintings4015 23h ago

uj/ what about these

2

u/SnooPaintings4015 23h ago

These ones are definitely condoms

2

u/Jas_39_Kuken 23h ago

No you’ll just fray like a birch in October.

2

u/brutalduties your local luthier should be able to take care of that 1d ago

Elixir? He hardly knows her

1

u/Danileansow 1d ago

If you wouldn't try, you wouldn't know

3

u/SnooPaintings4015 1d ago

Yup! Just boiling them with some ramen seasoning!

1

u/vonov129 1d ago

They don't call it elixir for nothing

1

u/AimingWang 1d ago

I'm not sure if you'd survive but they probably wouldn't rust.

1

u/Terrible_Snow_7306 1d ago

You die immediately, but look as irresistible as today, when your body is dug up in a million years. The sustain of the last note you played will still ring, if you’re not a poor Fender player with plenty dead notes to cope with.

1

u/PradheBand 1d ago

They are amazing with meatballs

1

u/SnooPaintings4015 1d ago

Can i break em in half before boiling or will the italians get mad?

1

u/PradheBand 1d ago

As italian I say no. But hey... In the privacy of your home nobody will spy on you!

1

u/Ok_Highlight3926 1d ago

You have to boil them first

1

u/dvowel 1d ago

Makes them easier to get out anyway..

1

u/glennfromglendale 1d ago

They use the same advertising language as cigarettes.

"Rich, bold, smoothe tone"

1

u/ideleteoften 1d ago

Some guitarists play until their fingers bleed, I eat strings until my colon bleeds.

1

u/EnchantedWood1981 1d ago

Your turds will never flush again.

1

u/bBootybAss 1d ago

Only if u eat the low E. The high e breaks, the low e doesn't. You will be unbreakable, like diamond

1

u/MuricanPoxyCliff BackOfTheBusBassRoadie 1d ago

Brown toan will slide outta you like butter

1

u/Personal-Soft-2770 1d ago

Be careful. I use these and now my fingers have reverse aged to that of a 2 year old, and I can't play jazz chords anymore.

1

u/Normal_Salt_1070 1d ago

No you’ll tear your intestines

1

u/SnooPaintings4015 1d ago

But I'll boil the strings first and add them in a sauce for easier digestion! But I've been boiling this strings for 3 hrs and they are still not al dente....

1

u/Normal_Salt_1070 22h ago

Ok if you boil them then it’s ok

1

u/Snakeboard_OG 1d ago

You will poop a lot more easily

1

u/Omeggon 23h ago

You will become Spider-Man but you'll only be 3mm tall.