r/heroes3 • u/shully64 Expert Shitpostery • Jan 04 '24
Fluff The Ultimate Smash-ability Tier List
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u/Ryselle Jan 04 '24
Kyrre in C leaves me heartbroken... and according top left: Does Heroes III now have StarTreks Andorians?
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u/WrestlingCheese Jan 04 '24
OP clearly not into twinks; Rampart in shambles.
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u/kirkpomidor Jan 04 '24
Kyrre is a girlā¦
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u/Mr7000000 Jan 04 '24
In HOMM3, Kyrre is a somewhat androgynous female elven ranger. In HOMM4, Kyrre is a masculine male elven ranger.
Congratulations to Kyrre on his transition!
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u/WrestlingCheese Jan 04 '24
So?
The days where "twink" was a purely male-gendered term were a long, long time ago.
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u/shully64 Expert Shitpostery Jan 04 '24
There's just something about Kyrre's portrait that I've always found somewhat off-putting, and I really can't tell if I find them attractive or not. Maybe a slight AI brush up might move them up a tier or two.
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u/kjubus Jan 04 '24
I'm sorry, I had to...
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and non-human female heroes breeding, Lacus is the most compatible hero for humans? (...) Due to her mostly water based biology, thereās no doubt in my mind that an aroused Lacus would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with her for hours without getting sore. She can also learn the secondary skills Path Finding, Water Magic, Navigation and Leadership, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so itād be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. (...). No other hero comes close to this level of compatibility. (...). Lacus is literally built for human dick. Ungodly high starting attack stat + Water Magic means she can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
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u/shully64 Expert Shitpostery Jan 04 '24
Ngl part of me was going to put a "sloppy bj" in there somewhere and Lacus was going to be at the top of that
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u/FerynaCZ Jan 04 '24
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u/sneakpeekbot Jan 04 '24
Here's a sneak peek of /r/copypasta [NSFW] using the top posts of the year!
#1: Is 16 and 16.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 an acceptable age gap?
#2: Whatās with all the Pedo stuff here
#3: I went out running on the streets of Delhi in a sports bra. Never again.
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u/Irydion Jan 04 '24
Ignissa not god tier??? She's literally the hottest hero in the game!
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u/maerun Jan 04 '24
Only recommended for Intelligent heroes (with a big enough mana pool to keep that Protection from Fire spell up).
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u/Shot-Statistician-89 Jan 04 '24
Yeah look I mostly agree, but Ignissa is basically having an orgasm in her portrait, must be God tier
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u/Itollthefinalbell Jan 04 '24
What makes Straker more attractive than other undead heroes?
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u/shully64 Expert Shitpostery Jan 04 '24
Main reason is that in my mind he probably has a sturdy š¦“
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u/EphemeralOcean Jan 04 '24
Honest question who ever hired the crappier of the two heroes in the tavern because the better one of the two was ugly af/stupid looking? I donāt really anymore but I definitely did as a kid, ha!
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u/shully64 Expert Shitpostery Jan 04 '24
I definitely did. I would always no matter what, go for the most badass/evil looking guys like Solmyr, Zydar, Styg, Nagash etc.
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u/EphemeralOcean Jan 04 '24
I always avoided Nymus, Marius, Ayden, Tazar, Torosar, and a few others like the plague.
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u/Cyber_Lucifer Jan 04 '24
Isra in last tier?! How dare you dis ma beloved like that she should be S tier
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u/Flashman6000 Jan 04 '24
So many disagreements with this list that my face is permanently frozen in Mutare mode, but Iāll just add that many heroes tied or lost to Monere and Pasis, who donāt even have faces.
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u/shully64 Expert Shitpostery Jan 04 '24
You see, to me Monere and Pasis are probably the most neutral in terms of smashability. Any hero below them are going into unattractive category. After all, I'd rather smash someone with no face than, for instance, and old chubby geezer like Malcom
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u/swefin Jan 04 '24
My boy Floribert needs to be higher. Look at his hair.
Otherwise, top tier content
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u/shully64 Expert Shitpostery Jan 04 '24
It's true he has got good hair. But hair itself isn't enough to climb the shag ladder.
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u/n00baroth Jan 04 '24
Can't believe OP did Clancy like that, as someone who shares a similar balding beardly look, I feel personally attacked.
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u/ImperatorScientia Jan 04 '24
Itās unsettling that some of the corpses arenāt all in last place. I also put Adrienne in S+ or God tier owing to that outfit and her tattoos.
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u/TheDuckSlayer69 Jan 04 '24
You are delusional for not putting Mephala in god tier.
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u/jdiogoforte Jan 04 '24
Complete blasphemy!
Young me had a crush on her - and I'm not sure I got over it to be honest š«
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u/Roobscoob Jan 04 '24 edited Jan 04 '24
Tamika is S tier what are you on? Vampire queen! G???
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u/shully64 Expert Shitpostery Jan 04 '24
It's the snaggle teeth I can't get behind
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u/gertgertgertgertgert Death Knight Jan 04 '24
If you can't behind her teeth then get in front of them ;)
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u/Spvoter Jan 04 '24
Bro what you mean by the magic elementals in C, I imagine that like screwing a lava lamp when itās in a microwave
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u/gertgertgertgertgert Death Knight Jan 04 '24
Shiva is the most smashable hero in the game. I will die on this hill.
And bruh..... Zildare is list a wish.com version of Corkes. D at best.
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u/SmallSmallFriend Jan 04 '24
lol at Crazy-Eyes Sylvia being above, like, Adrienne š you are brave to advertise your personal tastes like this, Iām sure everyoneās charts would look very different!
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u/Malena_my_quuen Jan 05 '24
My boy Cornelius got made dirty. He literally specializes in slaying pussy.
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u/savvycate Factory Jan 04 '24
oris and sam are god tier ššš
zilare is fine as fuck, why is jeremy up there, switch it š
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u/shully64 Expert Shitpostery Jan 04 '24
Jeremy has the mysterious Cobain lookalike vibe to him that I go for
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u/JehnSnow Jan 04 '24
There's no way that skeleton looking dude in E tier is not either ā ļø or I tier
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u/shully64 Expert Shitpostery Jan 04 '24
If you mean Clavius, I was gonna put him with the other skeletons but for some reason he reminds me of Danny D so I kept him in E tier
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u/EphemeralOcean Jan 04 '24
Realistically the only ones that would work for me would be Lord Haart, Christian, Gelare, Elmore, Jeremy, Kilgor, and Rion.
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u/GamersGen Jan 04 '24
Big dick energy chart? Love it! And basically mostly disagree with all the rest
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u/joyful_starstuff Jan 04 '24
Crag Hack not in god tier, list invalid. Who smashes like Crag Hack?? Nobody!!
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u/TariqSafi Jan 04 '24
I only play the original please explain why dessa and kyrre are in c tear
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u/shully64 Expert Shitpostery Jan 04 '24
You know what, now that I look at Dessa again, he does look like he'd be a good time.
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u/JesusOnline_89 Jan 04 '24
The chick in god their to the right bothers me. Her head seems to tall. The cove woman in S+ would be in my god tier.
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u/EphemeralOcean Jan 04 '24
Agreed, there's something really weird about her look that I can't put my finger on. Casmetra, Miriam, Leena, and Astra should all be in god tier over top right chick.
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u/KNECHTIK2006 Jan 04 '24
Awesome! Persnoally I would put Aine in the S tier, she is hot, just the pale skin... yeah lol
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u/stewiemw Jan 04 '24
sorry but Sir Mullich is beyond god tier