From: Wake up! - Anthony de Mello on YouTube

Hi guys I need some help. I haven’t worked in person for 5 years. I graduated college in 2020, took a couple of years before I landed a very basic remote role that just got me by. I worked primarily alone but the job had little to no room for growth and since I needed more money I decided to apply for in person gigs.

I got so worked up about going into an office for the interview that I literally bailed on two different IT help desk interviews I was offered because my anxiety got the best of me. I finally got a fully remote interview for a help desk job and I totally nailed it. I was so confident and had a response to every question they had and I got an offer the next day. I felt great, no anxiety, but it was only because I did it from the comfort of my house.

Now I’ve got this job offer and I haven’t even accepted it yet because as soon as I started thinking about working in office I felt almost sick. It’s not like I don’t leave my house or go out or am afraid of the world. I do, and I have a few friends too. Not a booming social life but I am a person who sparks up conversation with people. It’s purely a situational thing. Like I used to work retail through college and it was completely fine since it was low stress and lots was going on at the store I never felt overwhelmed, it was just chill.

For some reason other situations are different. At the same time I was working retail and doing fine, I was attending college and I could never pay attention as I was constantly panicking during class and I don’t know why. I could barely talk to people and was always on edge. Something about it being a more serious environment I guess? And that’s how I’m viewing my new job. I’m panicking about if I can handle it and if I’m going to make a fool of myself. I’d be doing IT help desk work so I’d take calls from workers and resolve tickets. But every time I imagine the job I think of fucking up what I’m saying and coworkers hearing me, and having an audience basically. I also lose my appetite when I’m that worked up and I’m dreading trying to eat breakfast and lunch because it’s going to be so hard to get anything down. I know this sounds ridiculous but that’s where I’m at. I am terrified to work in person and my anxiety levels are through the roof since I got an offer. And I know that I’m a dumbass for even applying when I’m too much of a weeny to go into the office. I was just desperate to better my life and in the moment I made myself apply.

The other day I was shopping at Costco and I started thinking how much easier it would be to give up and just work there making decent pay. I’m totally at ease in that environment and I wish so much that I could feel the same in other places. My end goal is to work my ass off in office and get good enough or find a specialization to become fully remote again with a better career. But I feel doomed I’ll ever be able to make it happen. I truly wish I could not give a fuck but this has kept me away half the night for a week.

the doors are my favorite band at the moment, they’ve been helping me lots : ) the art is “the creation of fish and birds” by gustave dore

i’m new here but i hope you guys like it. we’re here because we’ve all felt like we were in a prison at one point (or still are), right? it doesn’t have to be that way.

• "I'm useless"
• I'm a failure"
• "I can't get anything right"
• "I don't deserve to be loved.
• "I don't have the right to be happy"

If you were confident as a child but now socially anxious and lost in life as an adult.

You have negative beliefs holding you back.

They are subtle but incredibly damaging. They can linger for years, decades or until you die.

You have an obligation to identify and dissect these negative beliefs.

Where they came from and how they are infecting your life with negative thoughts like an mental illness.

Because they make you mess up the easiest tasks and cause you to act subconsciously in a way that you deem cringe so you end up feeling shameful afterwards.

You have to stop your infected mind from colonizing your thoughts. The invaders need to be controlled and stopped from getting full control (Your negative beliefs.)

You will need to create a barrier for your perception which we will tackle below.

A filtering mechanism that allows your positive thoughts to take over. To separate logical and rational thought from emotional thought to create distance.

Like an observer that see's and knows everything. This is where meditation comes in.

Because being mindful allows you to know what is emotion from what is thought. If you have trouble dealing with your emotions and thoughts overtaking. Practice mindfulness.

It has honestly helped me overcome a lot of problem in life, like OCD and ADHD.

Hope this helps.

If you want to learn about "Why Being a "Nice Person" Is Ruining Your Life" read here.

Yes I admit, I don't have what it takes to fix my life. Maybe Im right about not having guys courage bravery strength plan to fix my life. Because all I've been doing is worrying and stressing myself out of it. If I had the capabilities and strong mind and willpower, I wouldn't be a loser today. This feels so bad like I'm not only bringing myself down but this soul, my family and people that believe in me and want to see me do better. I don't know how to get rid of FEARS. It's like anything I want to overcome, this fear job is basically bringing me down. I noticed that I'm trying to learn driving but I just can't do it like I feel frozen to ask for help. I feel uninterested opening YouTube to watch videos on driving. But I have all the time in world to scroll TikTok and Instagram.

I (18M), had a decently long term girlfriend (Year and some change). We broke up, yada yada, I got into a relationship with a girl I'm extremely happy with, and all people want to tell me about is how bad my ex makes me out to be or what she's doing. How can I ignore all of this? It's all I hear about on a daily basis and all of what she says about me just gets around and people just want to tell me about it. There are even teachers and adults at school telling me stuff she says about me. It's been almost 6 months since we've broken up. Need help. Thanks.

I wanna get skinny lol it’s about time. But I have a sweet tooth how do I get through 14 days without any sort of added sugar

I feel like in order to get discipline, one must embrace the discomfort that comes with it or sacrifice their whatever importance they have like money, time, pleasure to get something better.

I just hate the fact I keep wishing to have a better life but I'm literally not doing 1 single thing to better my situation. But I spend endless time after time living in self sabotage. I spend endless time overthinking which apparently isn't doing much either. Now I'm realizing no matter how much I've distracted myself for not putting in the work, I know have to do it. There is only so far you could run away from the fear. It will not go away until you do something about it. My goal was this month, I'm definitely learn driving but I'm not even visioning myself driving..Im not contacting driving school. I'm not watching videos on safety lessons. However what I'm doing is worrying about that problem

So I know a girl she is very close to me, we met online. So she has a very traumatic past. Like rpe when she was young. And this caused to lose interest in men and marrying and having kids. So I actually confessed her many times but she rejected me harshly 1. She loves her ex (but broke up) 2. Literally 2 men confessed her the same way I did (god knows I actually meant it ) So she rejected me and said that we are close friends. She also calls me her financial gateway it stability because she has no interest in "love" she wants money and want to live alone. I am like kinda a business partner for her while I had feelings for her. It's actually hard to kill feelings. While knowing I am stuck with her for life. I haven't met her irl but she still wants me to. Most of my friends told me to block her. But I couldn't actually do it. I still hope her to be mine but actually has no chance.

I asked if she'd accept the change of me disappearing for 3 months and coming back better. She rejected that too.

She said she had lost interest in love and actually wants to make her parents happy with money and success and wants to live alone for the rest of her life. Maybe adopt a child.

I know I can't force love but man. I really am doomed. Watching her every day knowing she ain't mine. My bros told me that they're to ways to get her.

1. Look like so good that no one looks better
2. Make her less money but make yourself so rich that she wants you and don't spend a penny on her.

It's a win win situation. But I know thinking of her would kinda hurt me every day

Note : I accepted everything she wanted tho. No kids, alone living. Just us. No sexual intensions

Hey guys first post here because I am struggling a little because I am so insecure that I literally never try anything at all cuz I don’t want to suck at it. I am even ashamed and stressed when I walk and how I breathe. I have been SA’D before idk if that has anything to do with it. Any tips would be nice!

Obviously, don’t actually follow this advice lol. But any parents out there feel this way after having their first kid? It put a lot of things into perspective, and I just dgaf about most things that used to bother me. I do however gaf about making sure this little wonderful human is loved and cared for.