r/iamverybadass • u/kaine_obrien • 13d ago

⚔️ KNIVES AND SWORDS ⚔️ Don’t wake this guy up on accident 😳

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1.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

212 comments sorted by

•

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2

u/GeorgeGlassss 6d ago

Somebody spray some shaving cream on his carotid artery.

1

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2

u/GeorgeGlassss 6d ago

Sir, I can see your lack brain through your nostrils.👃

2

u/WankASkank 7d ago

He looks as peaceful as a dead body looks alive

44

u/Whistler45 9d ago

Sleeping in a tent with a couch cushion as a pillow. Clearly homeless

10

u/hiprine 9d ago

I came to say the same thing, this is just sad. Some douche took a photo of a homeless guy fearing for his safety as he sleeps, and it's posted as some silly quirky behavior. I'm sure if you get jumped and robbed a few times while you're sleeping it does make you silly and quirky

4

u/kaine_obrien 8d ago

Not homeless. Know this guy in real life. Runs a tattoo shop out of his house

6

u/hiprine 8d ago

Oh well that makes me feel better, and maybe it's even funnier that he looks absolutely tragic

3

u/Whistler45 9d ago

He’s clearly in a hard spot. Probably dealing with shit

12

u/mogsoggindog 9d ago

Yeah, honestly I kinda just pity him. Id sleep with a weapon too if I was sleeping rough in a tent.

2

u/TifaYuhara 8d ago

Also depending on where you're camping you would probably want a hatchet on the ready if a nasty wild animal does show up.

14

u/android151 9d ago

Bro sleeps in fear, what a pussy

11

u/dankpieceofshit 9d ago

Post Malone looks crazier everyday

13

u/alexisgreat420 10d ago

Also it looks like his sleeve is just like ten tattoos on top of each other it’s like all black it seems

2

u/GeorgeGlassss 6d ago

Looks like he wanted to black out his arm but ran out of money.

3

u/JayZulla87 9d ago

I thought the sleeve was chainmail for a moment.

11

u/alexisgreat420 10d ago

He immediately slaughtered the person who took the pic- be warned

10

u/bdonthebrat 10d ago

a swinging weapon from a supine position does not seem very reliable ...

25

u/rodolphoteardrop 10d ago

"I sleep like a baby - shitting and pissing myself."

24

u/Nerdenator 10d ago

Bro looks like he’s a prison escapee.

4

u/CommodoreIrish 10d ago

He looks like a skinny Steven Assanti from My 600 lb life.

2

u/GeorgeGlassss 6d ago

I hate that I know exactly who you’re talking about.

8

u/FuckJanice 10d ago

Good luck waking him up

6

u/btwrenn 10d ago

Is he sleeping on a couch cushion?

2

u/TifaYuhara 8d ago

Someone else suggested that he could be homeless.

2

u/GeorgeGlassss 6d ago

He’s not homeless. The OP apparently knows him and he runs a tattoo shop out his house. 😬

19

u/fall0utB0uy 10d ago

You look dead already 😂

5

u/Cheese_Wheel218 10d ago

Dead already, dead, dead already ready deeeeaaadd

1

u/omniwrench- 9d ago

Cheer up London, it’s not that baaad

3

u/TalkinMac 10d ago

Bahaha bruuuuh

16

u/Biscuits4u2 10d ago

In a tent covered in shit

Cool bro

10

u/Royal_Cascadian 10d ago

Fuck you tooth fairy

13

u/Lucky_LeftFoot 11d ago

Axe-ident*

24

u/Jackboy445578 11d ago

Bro I don’t want to be rude but STAY OFF THE METH! Like stop smoking just for like a day please!

3

u/teh_201d 11d ago

never a good idea to disturb a homeless person

39

u/starspider 11d ago

Idk guys it looks like an unhoused person saying they sleep with a weapon close by which is a very rational thing to do in that situation.

2

u/kaine_obrien 10d ago

Not homeless lol

1

u/starspider 10d ago

Camping?

Sorry I live where there are bears and mountain lions so... still rational lmao

1

u/PlentyOMangos EVERYTHING IS SATIRE 10d ago

Not quite rational to sleep with a sharpened blade next to your throat lol, no sheath or anything

The weapon part, that’s totally fine lol I just would worry about hurting myself in my sleep like that

4

u/OldManChino 11d ago

Yeah, be careful not to do it by purpose 

0

u/TheCapableFox 11d ago

Surely he’s joking. 😭

9

u/Tankreas 11d ago

From the looks of those eyes, he ain’t fucken sleeping

11

u/AnxiousTuxedoBird 11d ago

You spook him awake and he slits his own throat on accident

15

u/ChemicalNo290 11d ago

Napping on his grammie’s embroidered pillow.

1

u/ARMill95 10d ago

I thought it was just stained to shit

17

u/M0RALVigilance 11d ago

I love these fools that try to project a Tough Guy Image by demonstrating how scared they are.

5

u/IRLNameIsNils 11d ago

It’s the masturbation guy in about 2 years

3

u/costigan95 11d ago

Nice floral pillow

65

u/NorthernBoy306 11d ago

If I ever fall so low in life that I end up in this guy's tent, I hope he sinks that hatchet into my skull.

5

u/iWant12Tacos 11d ago

This just gave me a very good laugh. Kudos sir.

32

u/Cal-Culus 11d ago

Is he homeless? He's in a tent

60

u/Bonsai-is-best 11d ago

He looks like if you put Post Malone in a fruit dehydrator

24

u/PirateAngelMoron 11d ago

I have that SOG axe and it’s pretty much useless for anything but showing your gf and telling her it’ll go through a Kevlar helmet…then she yawns.

17

u/BingAutofill 12d ago

Don't wake him up on purpose, either

22

u/dbowman97 12d ago

That looks like a corpse you posed for a joke.

46

u/kaine_obrien 12d ago

To clear up confusion on this, albeit funny, this guy is not homeless. He lives in the same town as me and is known for being a pretty cringe guy that tells massive bullshit stories about himself all the time. Him and his wife actually run a tattoo shop here and do in fact have a house. Therefore, he’s not posting this in self defense as a homeless person, but because he felt the need to flex for some reason

12

u/Bleezy79 12d ago

What if his nose itches?

38

u/Arsenyte 12d ago

Maybe this isn't a "I sleep with an axe cause I'm a badass" And it's more of a "I sleep with an axe cause I live in a fucking tent and people are crazy"

29

u/CowboyKillaDelux 12d ago

Dudes homeless as fuck

55

u/Ben_Dover70 12d ago

He wishes he was james may

22

u/Screwdriving_Hammer 12d ago

Sleep with two eyes oh-ohpen, clutching your hatchet tight.

4

u/TheTimbs Is a gorilla 12d ago

Enter Hatchet man

8

u/my_4_cents 11d ago

Eeeexxxit Teeth

Ennnnnteeerrrrr Me-eth

Take my glass pipe

We're sleeping like a badass tonight

5

u/Igmuhota 12d ago

Dun dun dun dun dun DUUUNNN!

13

u/Wu-TangShogun Shiver Me Timbers 12d ago

Poor guy

17

u/UnhappyStrain 12d ago

he looks like he puked black tar all over himself

4

u/Ok_Condition5837 12d ago

Yeah infection may be more of a threat than the hatchet here

5

u/fireforge1979 12d ago

In his pup tent in his backyard!

3

u/Relevant_Group_7441 12d ago

I doubt he’s a home owner. More like a tent in the bushes at the Home Depot parking lot

3

u/kaine_obrien 12d ago

He is a home owner believe it or not lol

24

u/Irish_Fookin_Guy 12d ago

Post Naloxone..

2

u/Despondent-Kitten 11d ago

HOLY shit 😂

7

u/Nease82 12d ago

So your homeless? Weird flex but hey you do you

9

u/theCOMBOguy 12d ago

Post Post Malone

7

u/pedclarke 12d ago

No wonder he looks so tired! Silly sausage.

13

u/RadioGuyRob 12d ago

Looks like the only thing that's gonna wake this guy up is narcan.

17

u/deeteeohbee 12d ago

*by accident

11

u/Kundrew1 12d ago

I mean this guy is clearly homeless and homeless people do need to defend themselves. This is more sad than badass

5

u/Merzant 12d ago

Sadass.

6

u/kaine_obrien 12d ago

He’s not homeless. I live in the same town as this guy. He’s just strange and always doing goofy shit lol

5

u/Sasquatchbulljunk914 12d ago

4

u/Screwdriving_Hammer 12d ago

Haha love it. For anyone who wants a new rabbit hole to go down.

Kai the Hitchhiker

2

u/prettysickchick 11d ago

There’s a documentary on this guy

3

u/Venom933 12d ago

looks not very peaceful lol

12

u/YolognaiSwagetti 12d ago

give him some slack, he's probably trying to fend off the people who smeared his arm with liquid shit

9

u/herb0026 12d ago

Honestly I would too if I slept in a tent on the streets. These are hard times man.

2

u/kaine_obrien 12d ago

He has a home lol just a cringe guy

4

u/Chancedizzle 12d ago

I would be so scared to be hit by a carabiner.

7

u/jtowndtk 12d ago

Echoes of

"gitrdun"

"Same shit different day"

Fill the tent

16

u/bballkj7 12d ago

post- post malone

8

u/ihatetheplaceilive 12d ago

Don't worry. I don't go to the hobo jungle

15

u/CryingOverVideoGames 12d ago

Great value post Malone

9

u/Maverick_Couch 12d ago edited 12d ago

" I was perfectly fucking straight with you about this, and now you're going to get machete'd hatchetted to death!"

3

u/Juxta_Lightborne 12d ago

The man who sleeps with a hachet is a fool every night but one

6

u/219_Infinity 12d ago

Hope he doesn’t roll over in his sleep and slice his jugular

11

u/Teaflax 12d ago

No. Do it by purpose. :/

7

u/xisiktik 12d ago

Looks like Post Malone has fallen on hard times…

5

u/Ffdmatt 12d ago

That pillow looks like he nicked himself a few times already

10

u/OGFunkBandit88 12d ago

Fuckin Mint Mobile… now every hobo in the country has a data plan.

9

u/slim_mclean 12d ago

This is fucking hilarious. He thinks he looks scary and intimidating but he looks like a sleepy old man. Try to zoom in on his face without laughing.

15

u/DumpsterR0b0t 12d ago

He looks like he already threw up all over his shirt.

26

u/double_dutch42 12d ago

Skyrim Draugrs be like

3

u/ssj_Derek 12d ago

He was once a wittle boy now he’s this guy

14

u/Jathaniel_Aim 12d ago

That's methed up

12

u/greatproficient 12d ago

Seems legit, he's sleeping outside since Mom kicked him out of the basement. Grandma felt bad and gave him a pillow tho

8

u/puffer039 12d ago

looks like he grabbed that pillow off my grandma's sofa

10

u/DingoDamp 12d ago edited 12d ago

Thats Most Palone … r/Walmartcelebrities

2

u/stirling_s 12d ago

*wal

3

u/DingoDamp 12d ago

Thanks! Corrected now.

13

u/cap10wow 12d ago

In a tent? I sleep in a big bed, with my wife.

14

u/redditpest 12d ago

You sleep with your eyes open, taking selfies? My niece does that too.

5

u/aZombieSlayer 12d ago

Bae caught me slippin

10

u/mrweatherbeef 12d ago

That’s how I sleep… in a tent in the backyard with a HomeGoods accent pillow I stole off my Mom’s couch.

2

u/turtleneckless001 12d ago

He might make a very pacific cut

16

u/whateverhk 12d ago

This guy looks like a homeless and sleep in a tent. Sleeping with an axe in his hand and advertising it is maybe a good idea actually.

3

u/cbass2015 12d ago

That’s the first thing that popped into my mind as well. Homeless camps are dangerous af. This could just be him showing how he has to sleep to protect himself. This might not belong here.

9

u/LordBucketheadthe1st 12d ago

That’s what I was thinking… probably more of a “it really sucks that I have to sleep with a fucking tomahawk at night, but when you don’t have doors to lock..” Just a thought..

3

u/GallusTom 12d ago

Bae caught me sleeping.....with an axe!

1

u/LonelyChannel3819 12d ago

While taking a picture with my other hand!

3

u/GreyghostIowa 12d ago

I mean I live in a country with 80% burglary and mugging rate.So I too can relate to someone sleeping with an axe if they have to do it out door.

0

u/Sierra11755 12d ago

For a second I thought this was that polar bear situation someone posted in r/hunting

1

u/Either-Exchange8671 12d ago

Pete Possessedwaite

4

u/scuolapasta 12d ago

With your eyes half open holding an axe!?!? Looks excruciating. Who hurt you?

5

u/Saxzarus 12d ago

It's all fun and games until someone farts in the middle of the night

13

u/moreboredthanyouare 12d ago

Has he got a flowery pillow for camping. How sweet

1

u/Zizq 11d ago

Wayyyyyy too far down. I noticed it too lmao

3

u/blackpepperjc 12d ago

I thought it was meat of unknown description.

35

u/NoQuarter6808 12d ago

Jesus christ i thought this was a crime scene photo

4

u/Ishidan01 12d ago

Probably is, from the look of him.

16

u/yellowbin74 12d ago

Anybody that sleeps like that needs to re evaluate their life choices

16

u/wolftamer1221 12d ago

Anyone who sleeps like that needs a medical evaluation. His eyes are open and his body clearly doesn’t relax at all despite supposedly being unconscious. It’s like an alien trying to mimic what sleeping looks like.

50

u/Pitiful-Tip-4881 12d ago edited 12d ago

I may be wrong, but if he sleeps outside near dangerous animals or in the city with junkies, then it seems to me, that this is not a brag but either statement of a grim fact or a cry for help.

5

u/katiemae111 12d ago

Yeah he’s definitely homeless

16

u/subbychub 12d ago

Yeah this just kinda screams "homeless"

15

u/c00lrthnu 12d ago

Right? This doesn't feel like it belongs in this sub

1

u/MoonWillow91 12d ago

He’s doing it wrong . Only supposed to have one eye open. Metallica said so.

9

u/TOBoy66 12d ago

Is he one of the bodies on Everest who failed to make summit?

8

u/HolyRomanEmperor 12d ago

‘I sleep in a big bed with my wife’

10

u/TheOperatEeyore 12d ago

post Malone loves camping

9

u/linc1095 12d ago

Axeident?

21

u/truckercharles 12d ago

On a hamburger meat pillow?

8

u/benito_camelas 12d ago

That's just rude. He obviously took that from his memaw's couch.

87

u/Kmag_supporter 12d ago

I would too if I was homeless.

23

u/korben2600 12d ago

Fr just what I need is some tweaker furiously beating off above me at 3am. Not in this economy. No sir.

5

u/MoonWillow91 12d ago

I read that as beating you off at first. Bed time.

3

u/fuckwhatsleft 12d ago

It's noon , and that's what I read too...

11

u/DepressiveNerd 12d ago

He… sleeps with eyes open, holding his phone?

32

u/SecureImagination537 12d ago

Poor guy in a tent city.

2

u/kaine_obrien 12d ago

He’s not homeless unlike what everyone is thinking lol this guy lives in the same town as me and is always doing or posting some kind of funky shit

-1

u/SecureImagination537 12d ago

That’s kinda cruel for you to post this about him. You made him look crazy and homeless. Shame on you sir!! I bite my thumb at you.

10

u/SpankThuMonkey 12d ago

With his eyes open? Weird.

7

u/TacitRonin20 12d ago

Damn, leave this man alone. It's perfectly fine for an adult to keep their favorite toy in bed. Like a favorite stuffie, a beloved blanket, or this man's favorite snuggling hatchet.

3

u/ABearDream 12d ago

In a tent, dressed like a prison escapee?

147

u/Key-Wedding-7082 12d ago

Looks like this dude may be homeless. I don't blame him for sleeping like that, to be honest.

2

u/Due-Giraffe-9826 10d ago

Hell, I'm homeless in my car, and sleep like that. Idk how I'd do it in a tent. Even if he's only camping, you never know what could happen. Lots of crazies, and animals out there.

26

u/kaine_obrien 12d ago

He’s not. He lives in the same town as me and he’s just a cringe guy lol

12

u/Key-Wedding-7082 11d ago

What a weirdo, then. Is that not a camping tent he is in?

9

u/kaine_obrien 11d ago

Yes he is lol he must’ve been camping but I can assure you he has a place to live. Him and his wife used to own a tattoo shop in town but it is now ran out of their house. This guys is a huge bullshitter and just all around cringe guy. The stories I’ve heard him tell me personally even are just absolutely ridiculous

7

u/Key-Wedding-7082 11d ago

Sounds and looks like the kind of guy I want to permanently mark my skin with an awesome tattoo. 😄

8

u/kaine_obrien 10d ago

He wasn’t the artist thank god, his wife was, it was still a pretty not great shop though

10

u/Formal-Hospital-8523 You know I graduated in the Navy Seals, and have 300 kills. 12d ago

This is so sad

4

u/EwokNuggets 12d ago

Is that grandma’s pillow

6

u/AlexKewl 12d ago

If ya didn't bring your own murder weapon, the unconscious guy has one you can easily grab!

8

u/Ok_Dog_4059 12d ago

So you are in a constant state of fear is what you are saying.

8

u/crikeyforemphasis 12d ago

To be fair, I would actually be frightened to come across this dude (but not for the reasons he wants)

16

u/thongs_are_footwear 12d ago

*by accident

9

u/pcgamergirl 12d ago

He looks like Post Malone's wasted out of his mind, older brother.

5

u/Late_Driver_121 12d ago

Pre Malone

9

u/FullPropreDinBobette 13d ago

100% there's a meth pipe laying beside his pillow

1

u/Aliensinmypants 12d ago

The odor in that tent is unbelievable bad

3

u/Chloroformperfume7 12d ago

That's not a pillow, it's a cushion from my grandma's couch

9

u/Fine-Bumblebee-9427 13d ago

I was friends with an unhoused woman who slept with a hatchet. Someone used it to kill her.

3

u/pcgamergirl 12d ago

At first, I read that as "Someone used to kill her", and had to double take. Yikes.

13

u/jquest303 13d ago

I’d break into his tent just to tickle his forehead with a feather.

7

u/tehtrintran 13d ago

I wouldn't blame him if he's homeless, knowing how badly people can treat them. Still a dumbass for posting about it though

6

u/Pizza_Slinger83 13d ago

Is that an image on his shirt, or is it just really dirty?

6

u/mister-fancypants- 13d ago

well this guy is already giving me the upper hand by letting me know he sleeps in a fuckin tent lol

28

u/ptapobane 13d ago

that's a sad situation to be in

7

u/KikiHou 13d ago

Yeah, this is uncomfortable.

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