r/iamverybadass • u/stuffcrow • 13d ago
⚔️ KNIVES AND SWORDS ⚔️ Join the Army and go to prison, lads!
3
6
u/Spiralredd 9d ago
I mean im in the army too. It has yet to fully make me a killer. I can shoot but thats about it.
10
15
17
u/Electronic-Elk4404 9d ago
This man has never been to prison. Most of your time doing your laundry job, playing cards and eating.
2
-5
u/GoddamnCabbage 9d ago
Obvious satire is obvious
12
u/stuffcrow 9d ago
Wrong I'm afraid! Had a look at this guy's profile and it tracks- I can say with pretty much total certainty he's being sincere.
Madness init?
9
u/cayce_leighann 9d ago
I can smell the toxic masculinity through the phone
1
u/rustyredditortux 9d ago
this is about toxic masculinity? 😬
3
u/cayce_leighann 9d ago
Claiming it is a man’s nature to be a killer is an example of toxic masculinity
5
21
u/ManorRocket 9d ago
IF this guy actually served in the military, EVERYONE in his platoon/flight/whatever the Navy calls it, hates this guy with a burning passion. Also he's 100% a Blue Falcon (buddy fucker, but not sexual), not combat arms or even combat support. If anything I'd guess some crappy supply MOS, probably a cook since almost every cook I've met has a massive chip on their shoulder.
4
u/Djglamrock 4d ago
lol right! Can’t speak for the fleet side Navy but in the Seabees we follow Marine formations (fire teams, squads, platoons, etc.). Yeah dude is probably some E3 cook on shore duty getting his call of duty score higher every weekend. If he was a real Chad he would be hitting the gym daily, going out with the boys on the weekend, and bringing a girl back to his barracks room.
Oh and jail sucks, it’s really boring. 0/10 do not recommend.
32
u/litreofstarlight 9d ago
It's in our nature as men to be killers
No it bloody well isn't. That's why the military has to train people at it, because it literally is not in most people's nature, men or women.
27
u/Cinderance 10d ago
Honestly, this is the perfect representation of what others can see as toxic masculinity. In the ways of wanting to craft yourself for nothing but destruction. No freedom, only malice by your very own hands. It’s strange to see, especially when someone can normalize something as extreme as this.
16
u/Depressionsfinalform 10d ago
It is this prevalent idea that men are base animals who are subject to their most primal needs at any given moment that is so so toxic and is sending people into the manosphere. This guy thinks every man would want to stab someone to death, to feel powerful. And he thinks that’s normal.
7
u/llindstad 9d ago
Tbh, I think he's just a troll.
8
u/Depressionsfinalform 9d ago
Yeah, probably, but some people do think like this though. People are paying for alpha male retreats and shit, and they push these ideas.
12
14
u/Astronaut32 10d ago
I remember seeing a video of an instructor in the SOCOM Athlete program, which is a military-partnered program that is available for people who are looking to get a position in Special Operations. In his words: “If you’re doing this because you think you’re the most badass guy, that you’re doing this for yourself, we don’t need you.”
Real heroes don’t run their mouth. They get their boots on the ground and get it done. Don’t think I’ll ever be as strong as them; they have my respect.
11
u/Thats_smurfed_up 10d ago
Sounds like someone is tired of being treated like a criminal and thinks that everyone should serve prison time so he’s not the odd-douche-out anymore.
“Come on, don’t you jerk off to the idea of cutting someone up and wearing their skin like pajamas? You know you do. We ALL do because we’re men and men wear people like pajamas.”
3
10
u/moonshineTheleocat 10d ago
So... Lose 4 years of my life and half my rights for the rest of my life because someone thinks going to prison makes you a man?
6
u/LucasArts_24 10d ago
"Bu-But you don't understand! It takes losing most of your life to be a man like me. What, why do you ask if I can see my kids or not, or about the restriction order my ex-wife has against me? That doesn't matter cause I am a man!"
How these mofos are irl. I was once told that as a man I have to control every women that come into my life. It was a disgusting comment since I only ever lived with my mom, sister, aunt and grandma.
16
4
2
u/Flazzyy 10d ago
I’ve met a super ton of military men and this is just cringe 😂 I wouldn’t be 100% against mandatory service for like 2 years tbh I’m kinda mad I didn’t go bc it definitely made a lot of capable & disciplined people for the most part but they don’t walk around with killer eyes trying to impress anyone 😭 the prison time is just stupid, cus even tho some will have “killer eyes” for all the wrong reasons, there are some actual good dudes who fucked up with drugs, crime of passion, etc. who come out and don’t want to be looked at like a killer or criminal anymore at all. Also people who really go to prison and get their shit together and change their life around. People need to stop watching too many movies 😂
9
u/Due-Giraffe-9826 10d ago
Damn, sounds like I need to add 4 years of prison time, and a full term military service to what was it that one chick said? One year of being homeless was it? Being a man these days is hard as fuck I guess.
/s
17
11
14
u/orbital_actual 10d ago
Prison doesn’t toughen you up, it numbs you to human sensation. There’s an important difference.
6
1
14
u/karlhungusx 10d ago
I’m gonna assume he got pulled over with a suspended license while under investigation for DUI while still technically in basic
“Sir please follow my flashlight with your eyes”
“”Can’t do it boss, these are my cold killer eyes”
12
10
u/Derrlicious 10d ago
I’m almost positive this is shit posting and everyone here fell for it
4
u/stuffcrow 10d ago
It's not, I'm afraid! Tracks with the guy's posts (and this isn't all he does).
6
u/Derrlicious 10d ago
I really wish it was just shit posting then, I find it completely ridiculous that someone could create such a thought and be serious.
5
u/stuffcrow 10d ago
I know, seriously, me too mate. I was genuinely shocked that he typed this out.
I'm finding it pretty wild he didn't respond to any replies too. He's just leaving it there- no self-reflection or anything.
Like don't get me wrong, I'm so glad it happened and I can share this with people but...woooooweeeee it's a bit spooky really init?
8
14
9
u/MetalRanga 10d ago
This guy's so tough I'm shaking with fear and we're not even in the same country. I'm scared to share a planet with such a supreme badass.
-15
u/MajorNut 10d ago
I don't like the fascism of Starship Troopers but I do believe only veterans and people in the military should be able to vote for federal elections.
Would you like to know more?...
5
8
u/cartman101 10d ago
Bro makes like 5% of a good point that mandatory citizen military service wouldn't be the worst for society. But goddamn...
2
7
u/Level37Doggo 10d ago
I’m sure this guy is using his tough guy voice, but all I’m hearing is the pilot from Airplane! asking Joey if he likes movies about gladiators and if he’s ever spent time inside a Turkish prison
2
5
7
3
15
13
u/pacodefan 11d ago
Or we can just push him into the wood chipper and go about being nice to one another.
31
u/darthphallic 11d ago
I have two gay cousins, one is married to another man and the other is a giant bear that does drag.
Neither of them are as gay as whoever wrote this
2
8
u/CPTRocketman 11d ago
That which doesn’t kill you makes you weaker, and will probably kill you the next time it shows up.
4
u/pacodefan 11d ago
I'd just tell them to prove their badassery by hunting a bear.... but fairly. With a knife. Then you shall get my kudos.
3
u/Marsnineteen75 11d ago edited 11d ago
This guy was his prison's version of Beecher and had Schillingers lined up around the pod. Punks that talk shit like this were the biggest prison bitches ever.
3
9
8
u/Pain7788g 11d ago
This has to be a parody. Nobody is this level of schizo are they?
3
u/stuffcrow 10d ago
I'm completely convinced, after going through the guy's profile, this is real.
Wild.
4
u/Skittilybop 11d ago
I liked the part where instead of doing this I got to travel the world, make friends, advance my career, and at least have a slim chance of having a girlfriend some of the time. But yeah go “be hard”.
9
14
15
u/flux_capacitor3 11d ago
You should definitely take advice from someone bragging about being in prison. lol.
4
2
5
12
u/Eccentricgentleman_ 11d ago
I think everyone should do some kind of public service during or after highschool. Part time at the local post office or local city council, something. Two years. It can be after high school too, military service, two year contract. Something basic to either get them involved in their communities on a functional level or get them the job skills to move out and on with their life
30
u/Lt_DanTaylorIII 11d ago
“I personally think all males should puss away 8 of their 20 prime years trying to legitimize their fragile masculinity”
- this guy
19
u/TerrifiedRedneck 11d ago
Joined the army, then went to prison, then got hard.
Interesting seeing the start of a person’s fetish.
9
u/Sufferingfoool 11d ago
He proudly served as a Blue Falcon. He’d tell you all about it but it’s classified. His MOS is classified too, can’t tell you.
12
u/jtowndtk 11d ago
Only people that haven't been through either mil or jail/prison say shit like this
Just like the only fuckers who care if your tattoo has a meaning is people without tattoos
9
u/forkball 11d ago
I am fine with a country choosing to have mandatory military service for everyone because the appreciation people would have for service would probably help veterans and service people not be used as props in political debates all the time. Though as I say that I know that dummies gonna dummy. Still, it already exists in some good contexts in the world today as well as bad.
But mandatory prison? Dumb AF.
3
u/RedexSvK 11d ago
Mandatory military service is a huge economic burden for countries and a mental one for young adults, especially if it's mandatory for everyone. Imagine a country where entire generation fucks off for 2 years to eat and sleep in government financed facility instead of contributing to it's economy in a meaningful and long-lasting way
2
u/Skittilybop 11d ago
Yes! Imagine having to postpone your life, ambitions, and relationships to go do jumping jacks and dig holes for 2 years. Absolute bullshit.
10
u/CosbysLongCon24 11d ago
I know it’s against rules but this is a guys post history I think I would enjoy reading lol
4
u/stuffcrow 11d ago
If it makes you feel better, it's not as interesting as you'd think. Dude's VERY online though; seems like these outbursts are infrequent but yeah, he posts a LOT.
I appreciate I have been too the last few days but let me have this, I've been off sick from work haha.
3
15
u/RevDrucifer 11d ago
This dumbass most likely joined the ROTC this week while getting detention because they couldn’t stop talking about anime in the back of the classroom.
11
4
8
12
u/BourbonGuy09 11d ago
But if you forcefully send all the sheeple to be like this, then there are no more sheep to scare.
This guy would still be extremely average and underwhelming.
3
u/AutoModerator 11d ago
⚔️ KNIVES AND SWORDS ⚔️
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
8
u/Toshinori_Yagi You know I graduated in the Navy Seals, and have 300 kills. 11d ago
Show us their name, OP. They posted it on a public forum
5
u/TheFunkinDuncan 11d ago
Against the sub rules
2
u/BrowningLoPower 11d ago
That's weak. But their rules are the rules. 🤷♂️
3
28
u/yungsausages 11d ago
He got hard? Look I’m pretty open minded and I’m very accepting but that’s pretty gay.
3
22
2
u/Mando-Lee 11d ago
Let’s see Trump didn’t go and he doesn’t pay taxes, Elon didn’t go and neither did JD it should be a requirement and paying taxes in order to be an elected official.
-3
u/J3sush8sm3 11d ago
What.does politics have to do with this guys post?
-2
u/Mando-Lee 11d ago
You don’t think the military isn’t about politics? Did you take Economics? That’s were 72% of our taxes go.
-5
u/viaticchart 11d ago
The military is political by nature but also takes less money from taxes than Medicare/medicaid and social security in the US. It’s top 3 but not close to a majority of taxes
3
u/J3sush8sm3 11d ago
Politic brain dead
-4
u/Mando-Lee 11d ago
Wow..impressive does your brain Math? Or do you know what Economics is. It’s a simple question, do you need some help?
1
u/J3sush8sm3 11d ago
Economics had nothing with this, but your mental gymnastics is olympic level. Theres more to life than thinking about politics.
2
3
4
17
13
3
38
u/Thebiginfinity 11d ago
I don't want the power of evil cold killer eyes at all, I want the power of eyes like a warm sunrise that make people safe and happy to see me
2
7
16
u/Deghimon 11d ago
OR join the military and use the gi bill to go to college and forego the prison time. Just a thought.
11
u/stuffcrow 11d ago
Yeah but then you won't get as hard!
5
u/SirkillzAhlot 11d ago
Hey man, I can get hard whenever I want. Don’t even have to take a blue pill.
5
u/KeepCalmJeepOn 11d ago
But nothing gets this man hard like prison time with the boys. Going to bed with his bunk mate, communal showers, the only thing harder than those steel bars is him!
3
9
13
5
u/monkeetoes82 11d ago
But if we all become scary badasses, then there will be no more "sheeple" to scare...
50
u/DNCOrGoFuckYourself 11d ago
No, I think everyone should work the service industry for 4 years.
Learn to self govern, not be impatient or a complete piece of shit to people who don’t deserve it.
3
u/truckercharles 10d ago
YEP, I've been saying this for years. Mandatory 12 month stint in the service industry. Everyone starts as a dishwasher for 90 days before they bring out the sorting hat and figure out if you're going to be floor staff, on the line, behind the bar, or get stuck in dish pit.
8
u/benhereford 11d ago
Imagine this guy attempting to work any job, let alone a service job. Day one he would have a meltdown or something
22
u/stuffcrow 11d ago
Yeah real fucking talk. Always say instead of military service there should be mandatory retail/ hospitality experience. Sincerely believe it'd bring society closer together.
7
u/pentox70 11d ago
Or tear the thin layer of goodness that people have when they see how awful people can really be to people just trying to do their jobs
7
u/Averagebass 11d ago
Oh yeah what a great recruitment program. "Do four years in the military and four years in prison after just cuz. Youll be tough or something."
7
u/Ok_Condition5837 11d ago
The sad bit is that this utter drivel actually works on a subsect of men.
6
13
7
15
6
u/ferrum_artifex 11d ago
Is this a new FFDP song?
3
18
8
u/JayRobot 12d ago
It’s always hilarious imagining how pathetic people that speak like this on Reddit act in real life
5
u/AdultbabyEinstein 12d ago
Damn, where'd you find this brain damage?
5
u/stuffcrow 11d ago
A post on Worldnews titled 'What the Venezuelans Deported to El Salvador Experienced'.
Would link it but not sure of the sub rules so mmh. Think the OP's been deleted actually, aw.
80
u/Richie_Zeppelin 12d ago
I bet $100 this guy is fat as fuck.
2
33
u/Dara-Mighty 11d ago
$100 He just stinks really bad and thinks it's aura.
3
u/Due-Giraffe-9826 10d ago
I mean, if you can see it come off someone like they're Bacterian from Dragon Ball, then one could say it is.
8
u/The_Actual_Sage 12d ago
Wouldn't you like to feel that power? Being able to stab someone to death if the situation called for it?
Gee I wonder why this dude went to prison 🙄
8
18
12
8
39
u/EvenSpoonier 12d ago
The military actually hates it with people sign up thinking that a little military discipline is exactly the kick in the pants that they need to finally grow up. The military isn't built for it, it isn't good at it, and most of these kids just wind up washing out of basic, wasting everyone's time and money but now also having to live with the fact that they washed out of basic.
20
u/FappyDilmore 11d ago
There's a podcast I'll occasionally listen to called Lions Led by Donkeys hosted by a former US serviceman. I don't know what rank he attained or how long he served, but he's very passionately anti military after his time serving and it's eye opening listening to some of the shit he talks about.
One episode in particular was about the phenomenon of "fragging" in the army (when discussing Alberto Martinez) and he discussed how 10+ years into Afghanistan there was an epidemic of people serving that really weren't fit to do so and the impact it has on not only them but the organization as a whole. It's really interesting.
2
u/Marsnineteen75 11d ago
They were giving out waivers to felons and everyone else to say they didnt resort to a draft. It created an Army full of undisciplined anti socials with no military bearing. I served ten years and was with the unit in Black Hearts and knew many of the people from the book. It talks about how that horrific war crime was set up in part by those waivers. Specialist Greene the ring leader of rape and murder plot had all kinds of legal and psyche issues and the army waived him in. He actually sent home due to instability before the war crimes even came to light.
10
u/Alarmed-Positive457 12d ago
A lot of the ones who do make it are the biggest shit bags that NCOs hate dealing with as well.
3
u/IhasCandies 12d ago
I’ve found that more often than not, when someone says they served in the military, that usually means the Navy or Air Force. When people serve in the Army or Marines, they say they served in the Army or Marines. So in all likelihood, this person probably was a Navy cook or Air Force administrator, and spent time in a minimum security work camp. That would explain why even after doing time in the military and prison he’s still insecure and still fantasizing about violence.
3
8
•
u/AutoModerator 11d ago
⚔️ KNIVES AND SWORDS ⚔️
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.