Alpha almost knocks out three punks but chose mercy

[u/Necessary-Ride-1437]

[u/InterestingFruit5978]

This is fucking disturbing

[u/Yssa_Finn]

r/thathappened

[u/Todmomamu]

How much spit this guy had in his mouth that it covered his face, hair AND t-shirt. Might wanna get that checked.

[u/marshallkrich]

[u/mark503]

So he pretend punched someone who spit in his face? This guy is tougher than y’all think. I never heard this kind of twist in reality where being spit in into your face equates no response. Which in turn makes you manly. This guy sounds like he liked it.

[u/nunhgrader]

Alex, I will take things that never happened for 500

[u/Sufficient-Trash-807]

I’m sure he could’ve gone to buds and been a navy seal but was scared of not others but himself.

[u/galagapilot]

I bet this guy almost joined the military but didn't want to knock out a drill instructor.

[u/Vegetable-Tiger621]

Very important - business casual...

[u/Nedward_Schneebly → u/Vegetable-Tiger621]

He always needs to be ready for a fight. A suit doesn’t allow proper range of motion for him to call upon his training.

Business casual also allows him to pursue his career (which is thriving, by the way).

[u/CosbysLongCon24]

I’ll take things that never happened for 400 Alex

[u/whiteyrocks]

typical southpaw wackiness

[u/DoucheBagBill]

Aaaaaaand everyone started clapping.

[u/Ewwwwwwyou]

Listened to eye of the tiger and pulled this story out the tiger’s ass

[u/ninjanerd032]

Plot twist: He's unemployed

[u/Baby_fuckDol87]

Bro wrote a full fanfic and forgot to add the plot twist.

[u/TOBoy66]

And now everyone claps when I enter the office.

[u/ninjachonk89]

This reads like it was written by that one Key and Peele character Wendell

[u/PissinginTheW1nd → u/ninjachonk89]

So then I punched him sexually

[u/Muscalp]

A real martial artist would have much more detailed saving the day fantasies

[u/Rags2Rickius]

Ffs lol

The mental fantasy in his head

[u/evlgns]

[u/TonyG_from_NYC]

Could it be no one from work spoke of it because it never happened?

[u/InterestingLayer4367]

Cobra Kai shows no mercy!!!!!!!!!!

[u/fatrob0347]

He’s probably related to Chuck Norris. Only logical explanation.

[u/Legitimate_Bag8259]

Read through the comments on that one where everyone is talking about the damage they would've done in that situation.

[u/Naps_And_Crimes]

How much spit did he get if it covered his hair shirt and face. And yes I'm no tough guy but if someone spit on me I'm swinging

[u/Vokoru → u/Naps_And_Crimes]

That punk was a dilophosaurus

[u/DoucheBagBill → u/Naps_And_Crimes]

The booger from hell

[u/YourWarDaddy → u/Naps_And_Crimes]

Not proud of it, but I spit on someone and got full coverage like that.

A dude in his mid 50’s at a bar I used to go to a lot when I was 21-22 was there every night, absolute drunk, known for harassing all of the women that went there and ultimately would chase them out. He’d just be real creepy and touchy with them.

Well one night I was playing pool and saw him put his hand on my girlfriend’s upper thigh. Dragged him out of the bar, swung him around by his shirt just yelling at him, sat him on the ground and he said “if you want to hit me just do it.”

So I spat on him instead, and it just went fucking everywhere. He was honestly to pathetic to punch… and then everybody clapped.

But for real, when I came back in, a couple of the girls there bought me shots.

[u/Ryuj123 → u/YourWarDaddy]

This is a very appropriate story for this sub

[u/KobaMandingoPartIII → u/Naps_And_Crimes]

Sounds like dude blew a load on him.

[u/Naps_And_Crimes → u/KobaMandingoPartIII]

Even more reason to fight

[u/vainlyinsane]

This feels more like r/thathappened. Like i do think most people will be pretty pissed if someone spat on them tho. Like idk how I'd react, but I would not be happy.

[u/Profitsofdooom]

[u/17_Geekmen]

"And scene"

[u/Obvious-Gate9046]

I'm gonna file this under "things that never happened."

[u/IAmThePonch → u/Obvious-Gate9046]

What do you mean, I was there in the crowd, we all stood up and clapped

[u/niamhara]

Oooh he’s so tough. My panties literally flew off my body.

[u/New_Writer_484]

[u/Impressive-Day956]

VIOLENCE

[u/noideawhatoput2]

Not sure it’s possible to spot that much and cover your hair face and shirt lol

[u/Current_Leather7246]

First off no alpha is using the term triggered. Total victims speak

[u/Ok-Stranger-2669]

Uh, ok. And how was that beer? Sounds enjoyable.

[u/OphidianAssassin]

Were the 3 punks camels?

[u/Flavor_Saver12]

Let me get Things that never happened for 400 Alex

[u/nolabrew]

I am not a tough macho guy, but if you spit on me, we're fighting.

[u/FerusGrim → u/nolabrew]

Yeah, what a weird ending. Don’t care if they’re bigger than me or if they kick my ass. They might not catch em, but I’m throwing hands.

[u/nolabrew → u/FerusGrim]

In a lot of places in the US, spitting on someone is assault, so you can reasonably defend yourself.

[u/chicu111]

Lost control almost on Friday isn’t the same as Almost lost control on Friday is it?

[u/Ok-Stranger-2669 → u/chicu111]

Correct.

[u/ReaverRogue]

So a guy who’s been to two karate lessons threw a blind punch in a crowded bar with no repercussions other than stunned silence?

Ok buddy.

[u/julias-winston → u/ReaverRogue]

No - his left hand stopped in the air!

Nobody said anything afterward because he was actually alone the entire time.