r/instant_regret • u/TRIKKDADDY • 11d ago

Don't use your head, use your pito

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3.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

75 comments sorted by

154

u/MerlinTheFail 11d ago

Fucking nailed it. Just not sure if it's what he wanted nailed

129

u/1998ChevyTaHoe 11d ago

His balls spiked that bike seat

16

u/AnybodyNo8519 10d ago

Yep. The grandchildren he'll never have felt that.

281

u/bigbilly1234567899 11d ago

49

u/SpaceDegenerate 11d ago

excuse me sir, what do you type when you search for this gif?

35

u/winstrollchurchill69 11d ago

The guy is Vicente del bosque, that might do the trick

12

u/SpaceDegenerate 11d ago

it works thanks

20

u/ImOnlyHereForTheCoC 11d ago

You can also just type “oof”

11

u/SpaceDegenerate 11d ago

easier to remember great

13

u/PJballa34 11d ago

“Oof”

1

u/The_Purple_Bat 1d ago

Why does he remind me of handofblood ..

162

u/Historical_Date_1314 11d ago

Instant vasectomy.

11

u/1998ChevyTaHoe 11d ago

Instaectomy

2

u/PrettyDamnSus 11d ago

Thank goodness

55

u/Reynholmindustries 11d ago

On this episode of Draggin’ Ball Z…

144

u/Generally_Tso_Tso 11d ago

What a harsh transition...into becoming a girl.

23

u/GenuineSteak 11d ago

more like express eunuch surgery

30

u/Berezka70 11d ago

Happy birthday, girl

9

u/I_be_lurkin_tho 11d ago

At least he uh..had the balls to try it.

RIP pito and webos

29

u/Soft_Eggplant9132 11d ago

This guys balls .

2

u/Rick_Sanchez147 11d ago

yeah, he Hakai the fuk out of them

13

u/Rick_Sanchez147 11d ago

hay la verga mi pito ahhhhhhhhhhhhhg

3

u/9fingerjeff 10d ago

The way he trails off at the end keeps me rewatching it again and again.

4

u/BBizley 11d ago

And introducing El Pito with a magnificent jump. Oh he seems to have smashed his nuts and pulled an e-brake with his pito.

long pause, awkward smile & clap

3

u/TapBusiness5341 11d ago

A little Vic’s vapo rub will take care of that for him…🤣

3

u/r3v3nant333 11d ago

and some tussin.

3

u/johnboy2978 11d ago

Well that deescalated quickly.

3

u/CletussDiabetuss 10d ago

Translation:

"ah fuck, my dick! AH FUCK, MY DICK! 😩"

Source: I speak Taco Bell.

3

u/ataatia 9d ago

he might have children like sloth in goonies tho. really devoted ones

3

u/BigMoFace 8d ago

AAHHHHHHHHH why can i feel this?!!!

2

u/SaltyWavy 11d ago

I could almost feel that.

2

u/Certain_Tower_3458 11d ago

I swear that harmed.

2

u/assperity 11d ago

If anyone tries to do this, you have to keep your feet parallel on the pedals, using them as shock absorbers, he had the bike in the right position, but not himself.

2

u/SuperPoodie92477 10d ago

Going to instantly regret asking this, but do you know this from personal experience?

1

u/RoninVX 9d ago

Everyone knows this from personal experience e.g: walking, running, sitting without using any of your muscles (so just plopping down on a chair).

2

u/Sharp-Necessary8044 11d ago

Tremenda parada de pito 😂

2

u/Tonyrocksout 11d ago

Fuckin hell, I screamed out loud 🫣

2

u/Pitiful-Display-4876 11d ago

My boner are gone now thanks

2

u/SuperPoodie92477 10d ago

I hope he didn’t plan on having children.

2

u/Suitable_Cause4975 10d ago

Lil pito fucked up!!!!

2

u/Richwierd-Wheelchair 10d ago

Darwin award?

1

u/thumbunny99 7d ago

Honorable Mention since he appears to have survived. But the kids aren't alright.

2

u/Richwierd-Wheelchair 7d ago

I understand that you can win and survive, as long as you insure that you will never be able to have children.

2

u/ScuzzyUltrawide 9d ago

So the way to do this is that as you land you bend your knees and feed your whole cock into the wheel. Hope this helps.

2

u/NeptuneAndCherry 9d ago

I'm crying laughing

2

u/tbrumleve 8d ago

Good no need to extend that gene pool.

3

u/Rags2Rickius 11d ago

Peeeeeeto

1

u/read-my-comments 11d ago

Was his face or balls the most damaged?

1

u/William_The_Fat_Krab 11d ago

That appears to be Spanish. Funnily enough, in Portuguese slang Pito means something similar yet different, so I was wondering where tf was his

1

u/TX_Retro 11d ago

Just gonna say that I have probably done this in my youth. There were multiples like this back then. And yes, they were devastating.

1

u/Head-Simple-3329 11d ago

Darwin award. Not able to pass on genes.

1

u/quitemadactually 11d ago

Use your what now?

1

u/RajenBull1 11d ago

Did I just witness a vicious stabbing?

1

u/candidly1 11d ago

Brakes? We don't need no stinking brakes!

1

u/locohygynx 10d ago

Everything was good until the landing. He needed to compress at landing. At least he didn't loop out and bust his head. Kids got the cojones for sure!

1

u/thumbunny99 7d ago

Not anymore! 😅

1

u/kimmortal03 10d ago

I think he messed up his pito

1

u/Boomerang_Lizard 10d ago

It hurts just to watch.

1

u/Lifekraft 10d ago

Classic ball grinding.

1

u/SpaceStethoscope 10d ago

"Ai vittu mun olkapää"

1

u/xtra-chrisp 8d ago

That kid's junk is destroyed.

1

u/otismalotis 7d ago

Someday he will tell his son about the day he became famous. If he can still have kids.

1

u/West-East3476 7d ago

Glorious!

1

u/spankdaddylizz 4d ago

The new and improved Taint Polisher!

1

u/Because_cactus 1d ago

Excuse me, you left your balls behind