r/irlADHD 5d ago

[Topic] Adulting Don't try to solve your procrastination by reminding yourself of immutable traits like being smart. It tends to make you think you don't have to put in effort and increase your fear of failure.

This is essentially the whole "growth mindset", "internal locus of control", etc. theory. Because when you tell yourself "I'm smart" or "I'm strong", you either trick yourself into thinking you'll figure out anything regardless of how much effort you put in, or you'll develop a fear of failure because failing at the task would mean "I'm stupid", or "I'm actually weak" and thus you CAN'T fail, because that would threaten your identity. So then you don't do the task.

It's just like how when you practice gratitude, you want to think "I'm grateful for X because X personally matters to me and adds joy into my life", NOT "yeah I don't have a girlfriend, but at least I'm not homeless and not like that loser I saw on social media." Comparison generally comes from your ego and is where pride and envy originates.

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u/Local_Error_404 Can't relate? Disassociate! 5d ago

Not a problem for me, I know technically I'm very smart, but being smart just means my brain loves to outsmart itself every time I try to implement strategies to get myself to do/change something 😅🤦‍♀️

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u/fun7903 5d ago

So what can you tell yourself instead?

“Like I will try bc I can work hard?”

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u/WRYGDWYL 4d ago

What do you mean by "trying to solve procrastination by telling yourself you're smart", can you give an example? I try to solve my procrastination by telling myself I'll put in more effort and it also doesn't work hahaha

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u/AndrickT 3d ago

I just remember procrastination is for gay’s, then i go back to sleep giving 2 fcks about what i just said 🥴✌️ Now my advice for u, stop overthinking everything xd