r/legalcatadvice • u/UltimateArsehole • 1d ago
Pawyer needed Ultimate CRIMEZ - achievement unlocked!!!
Henlo frens!
It is I, Queen Zena (1 year old girl, Aussie sisfur to twin brother Ziggy).
Hooman servant is very bad and does TERRIBLE ABANDON every single day, leaving us without all the treats! So we conspire to commit CRIMEZ!!
After previous attack and singing song of our people, we found where the hooman keeps our treats. Treats is for us, so we open cupboards whilst hooman is doing an abandon and Haz all of them!!
We think this is excellent crime!! Hooman called us evil, mischievous void monsters - need pawyer to sue for refill of treats, slander, and removal of lock on treat cupboard!!!
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u/FloofingWithFloofers Floofaloofs on da loose 1d ago
Iz not ur fault u were doin a STARB!!! Dis is gud crimez! U deserbed yumyums!
General Tso Hungey the Cheeto Puff
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u/Charivari8 1d ago
Dis grate crimez! I dream of dis crimez tonite but its me do da crimez! Go Crimez!❤️Tali
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u/Shferitz crimez expert in training 1d ago
Hello my infamous frens! Deze r crimez (go crimez!) dat will be added to da songz of are peeple!!1!1!!!
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u/One_Advantage793 Consigliere 12h ago
I Smuffi the wildcat be markin dis down furr psalm 976 ob de songs. Iz in da hymnal nyow!
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u/SevereVideo Stoker, le vampurr miaou 1d ago
So much churu
Mew want the churu too! MEOWMY! CHURUUUU!
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u/aMoOsewithacoolhat We iz Mimi Andwomeda and da sweet lady Gaia okie? 1d ago
Haïa! Izme, Gaïa! Iznice wohkz but look I haz dis bokz!
Izgudbokz...
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u/Special_Tip_6428 Ai Maiself ❤️ 1d ago
Dis gratest crimez!! Fownd da treatsies den ate em!! Gud job frens!! Isz tu bad hers locked treetsies up!! Oh well . . . Jus DO MOAR CRIMEZ!!!! Yu frens, 😸 peachie n 😸 creamie
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u/XanaxWarriorPrincess 1d ago
Eksellent crimez! I hope da pukey-pukes diddnt come after.
-fren Gibson
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u/tunagelato Ai Maiself ❤️ 3h ago
If dey did, den iz two crimes in one - furrst treato redistribution AND sekond iz hork-hork. Go crimes!
-Zaza, Esq.
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u/CambrienCatExplosion Member: ICBGC 19h ago
Mai Cod! Ai wish Ai culd chew trew da treetz box!
Mai brofur, Pippin, tries dis.
-Toby
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u/davesmissingfingers Bitteh, diznee prensess 12h ago
Yoos hit da jakpot!!! Go crimez!
Bitteh, diznee prensess
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u/One_Advantage793 Consigliere 12h ago
I Smuffi the wildcat fink dis crimez beyond wildesss dreamz! Youse gotz awl de churu!
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u/Archaeogrrrl 1d ago
Ohhhhhhh, we think you could be related to us.
Human used to say something about childproofing or something.
Would you be out demon cousins in the Southern Hemisphere?
Zinnia and Poppy, calico demons extraordinaire.
(we make our servant type for us, someone really needs to make a demon friendly keyboard)
(Human here - my demons get into EVERYDAMNTHING first few months were exciting. Did you know, some cats like inseeetened coconut. And it does NOT like them. They chewed INTO A PLASTIC CONTAINER 🤣)