r/legalcatadvice • u/rataelle ICBGC Subchapter Europe • 1d ago
GO CRIMEZ Today Mews - authoritiez Reportz increase in burb crimez!
Hi Frenz itz me Kynx Kynx the Mews Reportzer
Authoritiez hab do a relase of images of burb wanted for Crimez. (Go crimez) the avian fiend do a van-da-lazzrd on my winbow right after meowmy did a clear so I can see all burb frenz!
Burb crimez not gud like catto crimez! We only one allow to do a Crimez!
There seems to be a upturn in recent reportz from members in this communities of burbs commenting crimez. Crimez such as doin a taught, or a lauff at kitty's who no can get at burbs.
This not fair on kitty's! Want to make fren with burbs and maybe do a little chop or a bapbapbap! This is how wee make fren!
If anyzonz ses burb from pichure or amy ubber burb crimez do a repotz so we can catch and do a bapbap bap.
Diz hard hitting Mews form me Kynx Kat.
And now the webber....
Iz sunny again in UK and lots of sun beems to watch burbs from.
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u/SevereVideo Stoker, le vampurr miaou 1d ago
Mew really like yew mewz reportz!
This birbz deserbe a good chomp... ekekekek
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u/One_Eggplant_1397 1d ago edited 1d ago
Tank yoo fur da news, fren Kynx! Yoo looking bery dapper in your tie.
It early morning in DC area ob da US, an we habin' thunder boomers! Der was lightning, den Big Boom dat set off da car alarms with da reverberberayshuns! Not much rain yet. Skeery!
Anyhoos, Ai like your reports!
Olive da Cattorney
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u/rataelle ICBGC Subchapter Europe 1d ago
Oh no fren Olive i hopez u no have a scared for too long! I'm OK with the thunder as long as I can see the pretty lights after. But if I sleep then big noise.i do a hid.
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u/One_Eggplant_1397 1d ago
It didn last bery long. Nao it's just rainin' a bit. Da birbs are owt chirpin' and doin' der ting, ekekekk!
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u/HoneyWyne Ai Maiself ❤️ 1d ago
Yoo lib in da DC? O por Olive! Dat playce fool ob meenies! - Kaboodle
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u/One_Eggplant_1397 1d ago
Nawt bery frenly, nope. Ai had enuff ob bein' a Capitol Cat. Ai tink we movin' afore long.
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u/mks221 Purrito, Enforcer ICBGC, and Catson, Member JustHiss league 21h ago
Purrito here an ai also lib in Dee-See! Da people who lib here are very nice but we gets a bad rep-u-tay-shon acause of da human gubmint. Until dumb humans elect us cattos to be in charge, please don’t lump da people in wit da gubmint!
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u/HoneyWyne Ai Maiself ❤️ 21h ago
Ohnoes! Ai maiself lub da Peeples dat lib dere, juss some ob da bossy gubmint peeps is meenie!
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u/One_Advantage793 Consigliere 13h ago
I Smuffi the wildcat purrmisscta do phone bank furr de kitteh purrsedink! Can has eleckshun reel sooon?!?!??? I reddy!
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u/Traroten 1d ago
Nisse, most glorious Floof here!
Did you know you can eat birbs? I thought they were only fun to play wid, but den I was away for many forevers and I learned dere's good eating on dem as well.
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u/ailathan Ai Maiself ❤️ 1d ago
Da birbs? Butt dei neber come clos enuff tu mi! Ai sneak in to watch da pigdeons out da window but no birbs eber wanna plai wit mi. Mr Mixie
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u/Traroten 1d ago
Ai only discovered it when I was lost and alone. Horrible! No treats! No pets! No cuddles! Do not recommend.
(He was gone for five weeks. Worst time of my life. And his.)
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u/ailathan Ai Maiself ❤️ 1d ago
Saundz horribl! Catching bugz iz funni butt being lost, bai maiself?! 🙀 no foodz, no bedsie, no hoomanz. Aim so sowwi dat happend tu yuu, Nisse, and aim happi yuu comed back!
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u/rataelle ICBGC Subchapter Europe 8h ago
Oh noz fren sound berry skary! Glad u back frim adventure. I lost for one dark time in da woodz and it was berry skary. Nit long enuf to need chop burbs so I never try. I prefer dry kibbals.
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u/rataelle ICBGC Subchapter Europe 1d ago
Tanks fren nisse! I tried to a chop in burbs but invisidable window stop me. I would like try doh.
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u/reddituser6835 Ai Maiself ❤️ 1d ago edited 1d ago
Did yooz no dat chimkin iz birb? Taystee birb! Gud fing Weez hab no chimken frenz teehee
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u/reddituser6835 Ai Maiself ❤️ 1d ago
Yoo iz moast eggsellunt reporter, kynx! Will dis bee ebry day reeport? Ai wud toon in!
Y birbs no uze litterbox insted ob invisibibble wall? Stoopid birbs
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u/rataelle ICBGC Subchapter Europe 1d ago
Burb very stoopid. I may do reporting once of twice in a week or if big mews story happen and need do a tell.
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u/Dry-Bullfrog-3778 Ai Maiself ❤️ 1d ago
So hambsome in tie! ❤️
Maddi the void
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u/rataelle ICBGC Subchapter Europe 1d ago
Tanks fren Maddi. Meowmy bought me 4 new tyes diz week. I will.show when more Mews.need repotingz
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u/Haunting_Bend346 Elliot the Tuxie 1d ago
Dis meow, Elliot. Iz on da kase.
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u/wordgirl 1d ago
Dis furry timely Mews Update, fren Kynx! Yu really haz ur paw on da beat of da nayshun! How you know dat birb mews happening right NOW?! Dat amayzink!
We iz breaking in fur a speshul mews bulletin!
NEW BIRB SPESHUS SITED!
We has MEW birb invashun at a hauz in Floriduh! (Dis where we liv. Is our hauz.)
Frens, a stranj birb has been sited dat no say eckeckeck. It say hoohoohoo!
And…it pretend iz cat!
Here da proof. Notice duh catlike ears! See how stranj birb sits in lidl hauz like cat in bocks!
Be on da lookout fur dis stranj birb, frens! It go by da naym of ‘Owl.’
We now returns yu to Kynx da Mews Reporter, Best Anchor Cat fur more on dis breaking story.
Seenyor* Mews Consultants Winter n Mittens, signing off!
*coz Meowmy say we almost ten years old now.
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u/rataelle ICBGC Subchapter Europe 8h ago
Dat was Winter n' Mittenz with a live repotz!
Tank frenz you do a gud job helping reportzon burb crimez. Diz hoohoohooo burb-cat izvery stranj and sus-pish-us.
Authoritiez releasce adit..addictun... extra fast statment dat the hoohoohoo burb-cat coud be a spy! Doing a pretend to be catto!
All kiities be vib-u-lent and on da lok for hoohoohoo burb-cat!
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u/Cats-are-lovely Miso and Mochi, ICBGC cuddle crew, purring divishun 1d ago
Hi fren Kynx, thank yours so muchj for recognise usz! We ar indadoor kitties and live acrosz da small greenie park with lots of many birbs. We like to do a watch. We cans seez, buts no for meez. Isz ok, meowmy isz a vegj-eh-ta-ree-uhn, she sayz all animals ar frens! Buts feels good youz calls out on pwoblem of da birbs. We wills continue our watch.
MnM
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u/rataelle ICBGC Subchapter Europe 8h ago
Iz herez to ex-pos crimez against kitty's and hope helpz pawyers frenz who do a help on me when I neededz
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u/Rude-Spot-1719 Ai Maiself ❤️ 1d ago
Henlo fren Kynx da Repawter! Sumtimez a birb will get into the sun room in my house! Me n my brofur GoodBoiMarty always do BIG ALERT to let mommy know acause what if birb destroys house an kill us all? We gots to keep our eyes on suspishh... spuspis... sneeky birbs! Fank you for reporting!
Squirrel, elderly ornj gentleman
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u/rataelle ICBGC Subchapter Europe 8h ago
Squirrel youz do a pubik serbive. Burbs capable of annnytink! Keep it upz
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u/Bright_Broccoli1844 1d ago
Your report and all the comments are really interesting.
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u/rataelle ICBGC Subchapter Europe 8h ago
Tank fren. We need to bring x-pos-chur ti burb crimez across da world
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u/leadMalamute Pawyer 17h ago
Oh no, dey wuz band da lizerdded, Dis ebry bit bad az beeing salimandered
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u/One_Advantage793 Consigliere 13h ago
I Smuffi the wildcat sez fanks furr de nyews report fren Knyx the News Reporter kitteh. I fink dis meks mai dey betta! I diligint watch furr dis birb. EkekekEKEKekek!
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u/rataelle ICBGC Subchapter Europe 8h ago
Tanks fren Smuffi! Me fink burb crimez go unber reported and need more x-po-chure. If wee al do an ekkekeEekkkEKRKKK kitty be protect
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u/rataelle ICBGC Subchapter Europe 1d ago
Diz mean in sunbeem. I no hab tye on. Sorryz